Chapter 20

T he tears have dried on my face, and my somber mask is back in place by the time we are deep in the forest. I allowed myself a few moments of weakness, but now I need to be strong.

The queen needn't have sent the girl, since the darkness calling to me is enough to lead me to her without an escort. She sent her to be cruel, choosing someone she knew would cause the most pain.

We walk in silence, but I extend my awareness, connecting to the forest, and I'm shocked by what I find. It's angry, no, not just angry, it's furious . The dark magic has been feeding off it for too long, killing both it and the denizens that make their homes there. The forest is excited I'm here, wanting to lend me its strength to help rid it of the intruders who are destroying it. I feel a surge of energy and look down to see a trail of wildflowers and plants in my wake. Eyes wide, I glance up to see if the girl has noticed, but she's still staring straight ahead.

Not now , I think, trying to portray how grateful I am in my urgency. Later, when I will need you the most , I plead, praying it understands me. If the queen doesn't know I have the forest on my side, then I'll have an advantage. I can sense how much it wants its revenge, but I may still be able to save these forsaken. I still remember at the fight back in the mountains where I was almost able to push the queen from the body of one of the forsaken, and for a moment, he seemed to come back to himself. We always believed the forsaken were dead, but now I'm wondering if I can save them. Guilt plagues me. We've killed so many of them to get to this point, but I had to protect myself if I am to save anyone.

I try not to think as we walk and keep my mind focused on the task ahead, but it's impossible. My mind starts to play tricks on me, thinking of all of the awful things the queen has planned for me, playing all of my doubts and faults over and over. That without my mates, I am nothing, simply a weak half-elf with no redeeming features. The goddess chose me by mistake. I'm an ex-slave, good for nothing but manual labour. What did I think I was doing, leading an army against someone like the queen? I would be lucky if she grants me a quick, painless death.

Beloved, guard your thoughts , the Mother whispers into my mind urgently, my wrist flashing brightly. These are not your own.

Stumbling to a halt, I realise she's right. Darkness taints my thoughts and attempts to wrap around my mind. As soon as it realises I'm aware of its presence, it shrieks, bringing me to my knees. I clutch my head to try and stop the pain as it struggles to take hold. Desperately, I reach for my bonds, needing some light, some hope to fight the blackness. They respond instantly, each of them sending me their love and strength, steadying me against the onslaught. As the pain starts to fade, I begin to focus on exactly what it is they are sending me, and I realise each of them is sending me a memory. Tor sends the memory of me becoming a tribe member, Vaeril the first time we met in the underground forge, Grayson the first time I said I loved him, and Eldrin the night we became mates.

Smiling through the pain, I give an almighty push and force the darkness from my mind. It leaves with another shriek, my body slumping to the ground in exhaustion, my breath coming in pants. My thoughts are my own again. Mother above, what was that? I curse, pushing myself into a sitting position and rubbing my temples.

"Come," the girl calls, giving me no time to rest or recover.

Groaning, I glance up and find her watching me with flat, expressionless eyes. I climb to my feet, and it takes me a couple of seconds to gain my balance, the world spinning around me. Once I'm feeling steady, I nod and follow behind her.

We leave the main path, travelling deeper into the forest. I can't be sure, but we seem to change directions, almost doubling back on ourselves. Just ahead, I see light breaking through the trees, and realise we're heading to a clearing. We're close to our destination, the cruel magic calling to me. Even if it wasn't for that, the grass is turning black, creating a grim trail for me to follow. The tall, strong trees are suffering, their leaves wilting and turning shades of orange and brown as if it was autumn.

A figure blocks out the light, sending a wave of darkness rippling through the ground, and I know straightaway who is striding to meet me—Rhydian. Only he carries that pulsing feeling of unholy wrongness about him. The queen seems to absorb her power, and just looking at her, you wouldn't know, whereas with Rhydian, it's obvious. The dark magic oozes from his pours like his human body can't contain it.

I have a thought then as the prince stops before me, smirking as he takes in my dishevelled appearance. What if the darkness that tried to capture my thoughts is what's behind Rhydian's new source of magic?

His soul was already so dark by the deeds he did for his own pleasure that when the darkness touched him, it was only a matter of time , the Mother explains, deep regret filling her as we stare at the prince. He did try to resist when he realised what was happening, but in the end, the darkness won.

"About time you showed up," he drawls, his black eyes making me shudder as they linger on my body. It's like he can sense where his magic marked my skin, the scar throbbing. Ignoring his comment, I hold my chin high, noticing the child has stepped to the side, watching with disinterest.

"I'm supposed to bring you before the queen," he remarks when I don't react, stalking towards me, his smile predatory. I hold my ground, tightening my grip on my staff until my knuckles turn white, but I refuse to move. Stopping just before me, he leans in close like he's about to share a secret. "But before I do, I want you to kneel before me."

Snarling, I slowly slide my free hand to the dagger at my waist. "Never."

Rhydian's features twist as his anger takes over, making him look monstrous as black, weblike veins appear across his face. "I said, kneel." His demand is punctuated with a blast of magic that throws me back, but thanks to my training, I twist at the last minute, using the momentum to roll and spring back onto my feet. Adopting a defensive position, I raise my staff, deciding to leave my dagger in its sheath for now, leaving my other hand free.

"You really think you can fight me and win?" he sneers, lifting a hand as black tendrils of power start to wrap around his arm. "I have magic."

As if to prove his point, he flicks his hand and several of those tendrils fling out. Using my fae instincts, I duck and spin but cry out as something strikes my leg, restraining me to the ground. As I look down, the forest seems to shake around us, bringing a smile to my face. Kneeling, I press my hands to the magic that's tethering me as Rhydian looks around in confusion.

"You may have magic," I bite out, wincing as my gift unwrites his spell. Rhydian turns his attention back to me with a frown, opening his mouth, but I beat him to it. "But I have the forest."

Vines burst from the ground, wrapping around him and dragging him down. He roars, his dark magic blasting through the plants, but just as quickly as he cuts through them, they grow back. Breaking the magic on my leg, I use my staff to help me up and hurry to his bound form.

Touch him, beloved. I shall enter him to subdue the darkness , the Mother instructs. Then you know what to do.

She's right, I do know what to do. I just wish I didn't have to. Taking a deep breath, I meet Rhydian's rage-filled eyes as he struggles against the vines. Raising my hand, I press it against his forehead, ignoring his screams. The glow from my wrist is almost blinding as the goddess enters him. He stops shrieking, and his eyes clear, returning to blue, and I know it's time.

"I'm sorry." Slipping the dagger from my waist, I raise it high, and with both hands, I bring it down with all my strength straight into his heart. His body jerks, his eyes meeting mine as his mouth opens as if to say something, but nothing leaves his lips.

The vines release his body, and he falls to the ground, lifeless. I feel…numb. Rhydian was my enemy, but looking at him like this… I'm just tired of death. Even my thoughts are exhausted, and I know there is more death to come.

The Mother's presence revives me as her love warms my body. Well done, beloved, although the queen won't be so easy. I assumed as much. The queen is far older than Rhydian and will be a lot stronger. I caught the prince by surprise, the queen won't be as easy to catch unaware.

The child forsaken steps forward and beckons before beginning to walk towards the gap in the trees ahead. I know what awaits me in that clearing, and the bright sunshine seems so at odds with the dread I'm feeling. My body tingles as my wrist glows softly, the goddess' power weakened by the darkness, but she's still here with me. Slowly, I follow and step from the treeline and into the sunlight. I'm momentarily blinded and raise my hand to shield my eyes.

"Well, well, you finally decided to join us," the queen calls. Dropping my hand, I see her smug smile as she stares at me. She looks pristine, her glittering crown resting on her hair, which is glistening in the sunlight, her skin perfect. Despite the occasion, she's still dressed in a gown. Her hands rest casually on her hips. She doesn't seem at all concerned by the fact I've turned up without Rhydian, and she must have felt him use his power. Watching her face, I realise she knows he's dead and just doesn't care. Her callousness shouldn't surprise me, but I'm taken aback.

Looking around the rest of the clearing, I fight back my despair as I see the wall of forsaken children that stand between her and me. Both boys and girls, they vary in age, but none of them seem to be older than ten, all of them bearing freshly branded marks on their wrists. The king stands to her left, his face carefully blank, but I see him looking for his son behind me. Past her are her two ever present ladies-in-waiting. They stand silently, their hoods hiding their faces and the horror beneath. A row of forsaken are behind them, and I realise with surprise they are comprised of both high elves and human guards. The king allowed his own people to be turned into forsaken.

Dumbstruck, I look between the two leaders. "You're sick, both of you." Turning to the king, I gesture to the slaves in front of me and allow my anger to surge forward. "Children? How could you allow this? What did they do to deserve this?" My voice gets louder as my anger threatens to consume me. "And you let her turn your guards into her forsaken?" I knew the king was corrupt, but I thought he would at least try to protect those who were loyal to him. He killed his wife and beat his son, using him as bait to blackmail you. Of course he wouldn't , I scold myself.

"The king gets slaves that do as they're told." The queen laughs, smirking like she's talking to a simpleton. So that's what she offered him. For his support and soldiers, she would give him immortal slaves.

"Slaves that will never die, rebel, or betray me." The king grins at me and shrugs his shoulders. "What's not to like?"

I grip my staff tightly, trying to stop myself from leaping forward and slamming it into the king's chest. "They're dead! You've killed children!"

"Besides," the queen calls, ignoring me completely. "I had to get your attention somehow."

She may want to ignore the issues, but I've rattled the king. A slight frown has settled between his brow as he stares at the undead children. I remember our conversation back in Arhaven. He didn't want to accept the queen's offer, in fact, he was disgusted by the forsaken. Was this what he was trying to avoid? I knew that by rejecting his ‘offer,' he would side with the queen, but I had never thought she would stoop so low as to turn children into forsaken. Judging by the look on the king's face, he might not have had much say in the matter.

I face the queen, since she's the real threat here. "You want my attention? You've got it, I'm here."

She smiles and hums to herself, tilting her head to one side. "You see, Clarissa, I just wanted to kill you when you first showed up, but you made things more difficult for me." She runs her hand up and down her arm, trailing her fingers along her skin as she speaks, and I see small trails of darkness following in their wake. It's like she's painting her body in darkness. It stays on her skin for a few seconds before disappearing, being reabsorbed into her body. The casual way she speaks of my death shocks me, but when she has caused the death of so many, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

"I've been planning this for centuries, and then you come along and ruin everything." Her mood changes instantly, shifting from gleeful to furious in a second. Snarling, she strides towards me, her hands balled into fists. "You, an ex-slave, a half-elf nothing."

I feel a change in the air as she gathers a ball of dark power in her hand. Staring at the magic, I know if she throws that pure power at me, I will die.

My mates will try and get to me, battling their way through the forsaken, but I can't sit here and wait to be saved. The odds are stacked against us, and I can't rely on them getting to me in time. Besides, everyone keeps telling me I'm stronger than I think, so maybe it's time to show them.

Needing to distract her, I try to get her talking. I clear my throat, look away from the power in her hands, and meet her eyes. "What were you planning?"

It works, my question seems to take her by surprise. Needing to gloat, she uses the opportunity. "The goddess was dying, we needed new leadership, so I decided to take it," she explains, but my attention is on the magic, which is slowly being reabsorbed. Relief makes my knees weak, but I can't show her that, instead, I frown as I process what she just said.

"The old gods abandoned us, even our sacred Menishea , so I was going to become our new goddess." She says it so simply, like becoming a goddess is something any sane person would consider. "He came to me in a dream." Her eyes glisten, her smile wistful now. "He whispered tales of the old gods and their powers. He told me how to become one, that he would give me some of his power to help me ascend." A hint of mania has entered her voice, and I realise the queen's mind has been twisted. I remember the darkness that had infected my thoughts, tainting them. I hadn't even noticed and probably wouldn't have if the Mother hadn't warned me. It's easy to imagine how the queen's mind has been changed over the years by the darkness. If ‘he' really has been coming to her dreams for years, then it's difficult to know which of her actions were truly hers, and which were warped by the darkness.

"Who?" I whisper, fear constricting my chest, making it hard to breathe.

"Jos." The queen's smile turns into a proud grin as I stumble back a step.

The Mother's presence fills me, and her devastation at the news takes my breath away. My brother . Her words fill my mind, confirming my alarm. The god of death.

Why would the God of Death have returned to Morrowmer, and why would he lend his powers to the elf queen? My mind spins, unable to piece the puzzle together, my fear of Jos making my limbs quake. Had he been in my mind?

Be calm, beloved, this is only a fragment of him , she soothes. Had Jos truly been in your mind, you wouldn't be alive , the Mother continues, but I suddenly don't feel so comforted. I had my suspicions that one of my siblings was involved, but I never thought… She trails off, and I use the silence to steady my breathing.

The silent conversation has only taken seconds, and the queen is still staring at me with her manic grin. Now that I know her mind has been distorted by a dark god, part of me feels sorry for her. She's still done atrocious things, but all she wants is to be loved, and on some level, I can understand that.

He's using her, there is no way for her to become a goddess , the Mother whispers with a hint of sadness. She projects a plan into my mind, and I know what I need to do. Taking a deep, calming breath, I step forward, right up to the wall of slaves.

When I meet the queen's smug smile, I start to speak. "You realise he's using you, right?" I don't know what she expected me to say, but it obviously wasn't this. Her face twists in anger, but I'm not done yet. "You will never be a goddess. He's using you as a vessel to destroy the Mother's land and her people." I always thought I'd enjoy saying this, but I don't. All I see is a sad, bitter woman who's grasping at any power she can.

When her features shift into something monstrous, I have to fight the urge to step back. "You're wrong."

"You know I'm not." Shaking my head, I gesture towards her, raising my eyebrows as I implore her to acknowledge the truth. "You've felt it, haven't you? The loss of control?" The tic in her jaw gives her away, and a slight flicker of doubt flashes in her eyes. Perhaps I can get through to her after all. "He's using you!"

A ripple of power seems to roll over the queen, her eyes suddenly going entirely black, and I know I've lost her. Jos is in control now.

"That's enough." Her voice is calmer, but there's power behind it and a bite that says it's used to being obeyed. Her ladies-in-waiting flinch at the change in her tone, obviously recognising the difference in personality. "Submit to me, or I'll track down your mates and turn them in front of you."

Fear like nothing I've ever felt before surges through me as I step across the gap she's created. I know realistically if she's not stopped, then everyone will be at risk, including my mates, but the rational part of my brain isn't working right now. Besides, for what I have in mind, I need to get close enough to touch her.

I'm stopped just before I reach her as two bolts of darkness appear from nowhere, roughly pulling me to the ground and forcing me to kneel before her. Laughing maniacally, the queen strides up to me with a sneer.

"Time to accept your fate, Clarissa." The queen slams her hands onto my shoulders with an evil gleam in her eyes.

Her power surges into me, the black, evil, wrongness of the magic flooding my veins. At the same time, I open myself to the Great Mother, allowing her to enter my body. Light so bright it blinds me shines from my goddess mark, and the queen shouts in surprise as she closes her eyes against the beam. I clamp my hands around the queen's wrists, and her eyes snap open as she stares sharply down at where I'm now gripping her. The goddess unleashes her power, forcing it through me and into the queen, fighting against that of her brother's—death versus love, our bodies the battlefields.

Around me, I'm vaguely aware of the ground shaking as the forest comes alive. My chest warms, and someone calls my name. The sounds of battle fill the air, but I can't look away. I want to, but I can't, my whole body locked in position.

Dark power floods through me, and although I've never felt the goddess stronger than this, death is winning. The Mother is powerful, but she already warned me that while she would handle her siblings, I would have to deal with the queen. She's still got centuries of experience and power over me. The scar on my back throbs, the pain seeming to spread through my body with each heartbeat. The agony makes me cry out, and I hear someone call my name again, but I can't move, still frozen in place.

"You will never beat me." She leans over me and bares her teeth, feeling my energy falter. "There is nothing more powerful than death."

I think about everything the goddess has told me and everything I've learned since becoming free. I may only have had a short time as a liberated woman, but I've discovered such happiness with my mates and found family I didn't know existed. Overall, I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Smiling gently up at the queen, I grip her arms tighter. "You're right, I can't beat death."

She frowns, not understanding my soft voice and smile, but her expression soon turns to horror as she realises what I'm doing. Closing my eyes, I stop fighting the darkness, and instead, I welcome it. Drawing it in, I pull it from her and into me, except I don't stop despite her screams of pain. With the help of the Mother, I draw it all.

Everything fades to black as agony consumes me.

Hold on, beloved , a warm, familiar voice whispers in my mind, pulling me from the pain as my eyes flutter open. The queen is kneeling in front of me now, looking just as weak as I feel, her head thrown back in misery.

It shouldn't be possible for me to hold so much power, it should have consumed my soul, I expected it to. Except I feel a connection to this world keeping me here. No, not just one, but four, my chest throbbing as they weave a golden cage of love around my heart, protecting it from the darkness threatening to consume me.

The queen lets out a shriek of frustration. "Give it back!" With an almighty metaphysical yank, she starts to pull on the darkness. Even with the goddess on my side, I'm exhausted, and the evil begins to flow back to the queen, knowing she's a far better host.

No, we're going to lose —

The queen jerks in my arms, her expression morphing into one of shock as we both look down at the growing patch of blood spreading across her abdomen. Suddenly, the spell is broken, and I can move. I release her wrists, and she falls onto the ground, a puddle of blood rapidly forming around her. Her mouth opens and closes as she tries to say something, but her eyes dim and I know she's dead. Looking up, I see one of her ladies-in-waiting looking stunned, holding a bloodied dagger in both hands. It's obvious she didn't think it would work from the look on her face. She steps away, appearing terrified as I fall backwards, my strength failing.

You did well, beloved , the Mother coos, her voice warm, and I can almost imagine her stroking my hair. Now release the darkness and rest, I shall protect you.

Somehow, I've ended up lying on the ground, and there are people moving around me, calling my name, but I'm focused on the goddess. "I have a question before you go," I speak out loud, my voice weak, but the Mother hears me anyway.

Yes, beloved?

"You once said that you knew my true name, but I wasn't ready to hear it. I'm ready now."

She whispers it to me in my mind, and I laugh weakly. "Tor was right. Liv…" I murmur the name, trying to get a feel for it, but I find it strange, like trying on someone else's clothes. I'm glad I asked, but that's who I was. Clarissa is who I am now, and who I choose to be going forward.

I release the darkness, and my body shudders painfully several times before I fall into blissful unconsciousness.

"How did you do it?" Tor passes me a steaming mug of soup, glaring at me when I try to wave it away. I'm really not hungry, and this is the third cup he and the elves have tried to force me to take, but considering they thought they had lost me, I have to expect some cossetting.

So, sitting in one of the quickly erected tents, cradling the warm mug between my hands, I snuggle deeper into the lap I'm currently sitting on. Grayson hasn't let me out of his sight. The euisa had taken it out of him pretty hard. From what the others told me, when he first lost control, the initial blast of killing magic took out twenty forsaken. It completely obliterated them, they didn't even have bodies to burn. We're just lucky his magic didn't attack Eldrin or Vaeril… Grayson has barely said a word to anyone since then, and I know he's feeling guilty.

"I pulled the power from her body into mine. It should have killed me, but the bonds protected me. They were wrapped around my heart," I explain, looking at each of my mates. "Then the queen's lady-in-waiting stabbed her in the back while she was weak and I held her magic."

A twinge of worry goes through me. No one had seen the lady-in-waiting who killed the queen since the battle. She fled, fearing the repercussions of her actions, and worried we might punish her for her association with the queen. The lady-in-waiting who stayed…well, her mind is broken, and the healers are working to make her comfortable.

When I woke up, my mates told me what they discovered when they finally reached the clearing. The queen and I had been on the ground, locked in a silent battle. The forsaken had attacked as soon as they arrived, and the forest came alive. Roots ripped from the ground, trapping the forsaken. Walls of brambles grew from nowhere and stopped the king from escaping, allowing him to be captured. All manner of fae had aided them in the fight—pixies, imps, and more dragging the forsaken to the ground, allowing the tribesmen to decapitate them.

They had discovered Rhydian's body in the forest where I left it. I'd been terrified about telling Jacob it was me who had killed his brother, but he had thrown his arms around me and sobbed when he walked into the tent and saw me awake in my bed. I held his hand and explained what happened, my face lowered, unable to meet his gaze. However, he understood I was protecting myself and that he'd lost his brother a long time ago.

I still hurt all over, but surrounded by my mates, I feel complete. Leaning back against Grayson, I smile. "At least we know Jos' weakness now," I say, gesturing to the four of them.

The tent flap pushes open as someone makes their way in, but I don't pay any attention.

Eldrin frowns, not understanding. "What was his weakness?"

"Love."

"Love, really?" a familiar voice scoffs behind me, and if it weren't for Grayson's tight hold around my waist, I'd jump up. "Ugh, you really were the chosen one." Naril grins down at me. He's got his arm in a sling and looks a bit battered and bruised, but other than that, he seems to be his usual self.

"Naril!" I grin as I watch Eldrin swoop his brother into a crushing hug. "You're safe!"

He grumbles, trying to escape his brother's clutches, but secretly I think he likes it, if the gleam in his eyes is anything to go by.

Jacob appears at Naril's side, smiling apologetically at me. I know he wants to let me rest, but I can tell something's bothering him. "Clarissa, what do you want to do with the king?"

I let out a long sigh. This is something that needs to be discussed. The king, seeing that things weren't going how he hoped, tried to escape, but was quickly captured. Since then, he has been trying to barter for freedom with trade deals, offers of land, slaves, gold—you name it. "There's been enough death today. But he will be tried for what he's done."

Jacob nods sharply before turning and quickly leaving the tent. Things were going to get difficult now. No one had thought past what would happen when we won, not quite thinking it would be possible. Arhaven would need a new ruler. Technically, Michael is next in line, but the tribes would back Jacob as the next king.

The high elves have been affected the worst by the forsaken army, but we managed to save some of them when I pulled the darkness from the queen. The sea elves and wood elves have offered to stay and help them rebuild Galandell, and I hope it will form a better relationship between the three races. We are still trying to reunite the children we managed to save with their parents.

A part of me worries that although the queen was defeated, Jos is still out there. The Great Mother assured me she would deal with him, that we are safe now, so I try to put those doubts aside and focus on the present. Things are not going to be easy, there is still a lot of work to do, and as I look at my mates and friends, I know we have a lot of healing to do, but together, it's possible.

"So, what do we do now?" Vaeril asks, reaching out and taking my hand in his.

Closing my eyes, I lean back against Grayson and soak up his warmth, smiling when I feel all their gazes on me. When I open them again, they are all watching me expectantly. "We can start to live our lives."