Chapter 11

T he lush greenery of the perfectly manicured gardens is peaceful and helps calm me. Each petal, stem, and leaf is immaculate. Not so much as a single blade of grass is out of place as the tall, twisting spires of the magicians' guild tower above me. It's exquisite here, but I do miss the magic of the forest. It may not be perfect, but it has its own beauty and rawness that a pruned garden could never possess.

Tor, Vaeril, Eldrin, and Naril follow behind me, giving me the space I need. I know they want to be close, reassuring me with their touch, but right now, I need to clear my head, and being in nature has always helped that. Unfortunately, the magicians' guild is about as far away from the forest as you can get. Set on the northern cliffs of Morrowmer, the guild is at the opposite end of the continent to the forest I love so much. So in the meantime, this garden is the closest thing.

The last couple of days since the meeting in the forest have been a blur of discussions and travelling. The chiefs, mainly Ragnar, were not happy with the new revelations, but it was decided that we did not need the king's forces and he would be an unreliable ally. Blackmail was not a good way to start a partnership. The tribes didn't want me to go, and the elves spoke up and surprised me by voicing their concern for my safety too. However, they understood my need to rescue Jacob and insisted on sending guards with me. The tribes agreed, saying that even if I was rejecting the king's offer, I had to look like I had my own army behind me. The king has been spreading rumours that I am feral now, that I cavort with the tribesmen and elves.

When I arrived here, I hoped to find Wilson, to wrap my arms around my friend and apologise for leaving him behind. Except he wasn't at the guild. Merrin explained that all the castle mages were called back, but Wilson never returned. They feared the worst. However, I know my friend. He can't be dead.

I wanted to travel straight to the castle, but the mages insisted that if I turned up on horseback, I would only be adding to his rumours. Instead, they insisted I travel to the guild and wait for the date to be set.

Something else that had been decided, was that I wouldn't be disguised as ‘Lady Clarissa.' The last time I attended a ball in Arhaven, the night I escaped, I was still under Grayson's protective magic that disguised me to help me blend in. I wonder how everyone will react when I arrive as the goddess' chosen, with my black hair rather than the golden ringlets I had before. Will anyone even recognise me as the same person? This way, we would travel in coaches with my guards from the elves and tribes, plus a whole unit of magicians to protect us, wearing our finest ball worthy outfits. I hate that we're having to do it this way, but I admit that walking in with the king's magicians as my protectors gives me a sick sense of happiness.

The messenger arrived two days ago. The ball would be tonight.

A bird flies overhead, its song bringing a smile to my face as I pause my stroll and look up, watching as it weaves through the towers. The gentle sound of footsteps echo through the open courtyard, announcing someone's approach, but I know who it is from the soft tug in my chest—Grayson. Letting out a soft sigh, I pull my gaze from the spires and look at my mage, feeling trepidation. Not at seeing him, but at what he's about to tell me.

He greets me with a soft smile, his eyes apologetic. He hates this as much as I do. "Are you ready?"

No , my mind screams, but I can't say that out loud. I have to be ready, there's too much at stake.

"Give her more time," Eldrin snarls, turning on the mage.

I have to bite back my groan. This is not the first time the two of them have fought, and it's usually started by the surly elf. Grayson, to his credit, has at least been trying to be civil to Vaeril, realising they will both be spending a lot of time together. The mage has even made an effort to speak to my elvish guard who made the journey with us to the guild. However, he and Eldrin just seem to rub each other the wrong way, arguing over everything the other does. I haven't had much time to spend with Eldrin, thanks to everything that's happened, and I know he's struggling, especially being around so many magicians. Maybe I can talk to him before we leave, find someplace where it can be just the two of us , I think to myself, but my thoughts are cut off as a low growl reverberates off the stone walls.

Grayson's hands ball into fists, but he ignores Eldrin, striding past the elf as he approaches me, stopping only when he reaches my side. "I'm sorry, but if we don't leave now, we won't get there in time."

Naril is standing at his brother's side, a hand pressed against Eldrin's chest as if to restrain him, but we both know it wouldn't stop him if he really wanted to get past.

"Fuck the king," the scarred elf barks. His upper lip pulls back in a snarl, but it's half-hearted, his eyes locked on me instead of the mage. I know what he really wants to say. Don't go. He thinks it's a trap and has been against it the whole time, worried for my safety. Which I think is the only reason why he hasn't taken his arguments with Grayson any further than that, because he knows the mage can help keep me safe from the king. I'd been expecting physical fights, but he's been behaving, at least as best as Eldrin can.

"Eldrin, it's okay," I call out, forcing a small smile. Of course he can sense it's fake, and he narrows his eyes at me, but he stops snarling and straightens, understanding he can't stop me. Taking a deep breath, I look up at Grayson. "I'm ready."

Needing a moment with my mates, I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around Grayson. He lets out a surprised ‘oomph,' but quickly gets over his shock and circles his arms around me, responding to the pull of our bond. I haven't had much time with Grayson as a couple, so he's not used to me instigating touch yet. When he first rescued me, I used to shy away from physical contact, and even now, I only tend to touch those I truly trust. I can feel his happiness that I've reached a point where I can turn to him when I need comfort, it practically radiates from him, despite the tension he feels regarding the upcoming journey.

I feel a shift as my other mates are drawn towards me, realising I need their support. Someone presses against my back. From the smoky, manly scent, I know it's Tor. There's a low chuckle, then some shuffling as more arms wrap around me. My bonds are humming happily, and I realise Vaeril and Tor were fighting for space. On the surface, everything feels right with the three of them wrapped around me, that warm buzzing sensation in my chest telling me I am complete.

Except something doesn't quite feel right. There's a voice in the back of my brain telling me I'm not complete, not yet. Opening my eyes, I see Eldrin watching us over Grayson's shoulder, and I realise with clarity why I feel that way. Uncrossing one of my arms from behind Grayson's back, I stretch it out and offer it to Eldrin. There's a pause as he stares intently at me, his eyes boring into my soul. My chest feels tight as I wait for his decision, and I know this is it, the critical moment of whether or not he can accept being a part of my life and sharing me with a magician. I've not had the chance to speak with my mates about my feelings for Eldrin, although with our bonds, I'm sure they suspect something between us already.

Eldrin's gaze suddenly shifts from me to over my shoulder, and as I look up, I see that all three of my mates are looking between him and my proffered hand, reacting off my feelings echoing down the bond.

Perhaps he's changed his mind and he doesn't want me anymore . My hand wavers slightly as my self-doubt plays tricks on me, and I try to push the thought away. Stop whining , I chastise myself. It's more likely he can't cope with being in a relationship with a part-human or sharing you with a mage , I reason, trying to prepare myself for rejection.

As if he can read my thoughts, Eldrin frowns at me, lets out a low growl, and mutters something in elvish. Vaeril chuckles behind me, the sound reverberating through me, but I don't take my eyes off my scarred elf. Letting out a frustrated breath, Eldrin strides forward and places his hand in mine, our fingers interlocking. My heart flutters in my chest as a weight lifts from me. He may be acting like he's frustrated, but when our eyes meet, I see the emotions he's trying to hide from the others. He's afraid of their reaction, I understand that, but we will tackle that together, and from the amusement I feel coming down the bond from Tor and Vaeril, I don't think it will be as difficult as we expected. Grayson…well, he's confused but is more concerned about the upcoming journey, so that's a conversation for another day.

Untangling myself from my mates, and giving Eldrin's hand a squeeze, I step back and straighten my dress, brushing off invisible lint as I compose myself. The feeling of being watched makes me pause, and I look up. I find Naril watching me with narrowed eyes, and I have to bite my tongue. He's been suspicious of Eldrin and me for a while now, observing the two of us and making comments, so my little demonstration just now has obviously confirmed something for him. I wait for him to say something, after all, this is Naril, but he just turns around and walks away. Raising an eyebrow, I look around to see if anyone else noticed and see that Eldrin is watching his brother leave with a frown.

"Clarissa, we really should go," Grayson urges, interrupting my musings with a hand on my lower back, and I just sigh and nod, allowing him to lead me to the front of the university.

It's a shame we couldn't stay here longer and that the time we have been here has been tainted with worry and strategy meetings. As we walk through the pale stone corridors, I enjoy the architecture, since I'm not sure when I might get the chance to return. The high, arched ceilings and spiralling staircases seem to be endless, plus with the many manicured gardens and domed buildings, I am in love with the peaceful beauty of the place.

My shoes click against the stone floor, announcing my arrival as we step into the large entrance hall. The rest of our party is already waiting for us, and I smile when I see my aunt and Vida talking with High Mage Ellis. The mage seems to have taken a liking to the two women, personally showing them around the guild.

When Revna said she was coming with us, I was worried. She's the high chief, she's important to the tribes, and if this really is a trap, she could be walking right into it. I fought with her, insisting she stay behind, but she refused, and even now, her words echo in my mind. You're my niece. I lost you once before to that bastard, I won't lose you again.

After that, I knew there was no point in arguing with her, so we agreed she could come, along with Vida and six warriors. Three wood elf and three sea elf warriors have also joined us.

Standing at the base of the staircase are ten mages dressed in their full ceremonial uniforms. Their double-breasted blue jackets and half cloaks on their left shoulders look smart as they wait for instruction. Running my eyes over them, I notice some of them are sending uncomfortable glances towards the elves standing by the doorway. Pausing just as we enter, I turn to Grayson and nod towards the mages.

"You're sure I can trust them around the elves?" Keeping my voice low, I examine the group again. Most of them are around my age, in their twenties, but there are a couple of older magicians in there, all of them men. A hand lands on my shoulder, pulling my attention back to Grayson.

"Yes, I trust every one of those men," he assures me with a smile. "Come and meet them, that might put you at ease." This does actually help soothe me, along with the positive regard he feels towards those men. Grayson may not care much for the elves, but he wouldn't risk my safety with people he didn't trust or think could do the job right. The fact he personally picked each of the mages who will be coming helps to put me at ease a little.

Squeezing my shoulder, he turns to his men and starts walking towards them. Following a step behind, I feel the eyes of the mages fall on me before flicking to my mates, but their reactions don't change from the professional nods I receive. In fact, some of them smile slightly at me in greeting as I get closer.

"Magicians, this is Clarissa, the Great Mother's chosen," Grayson introduces, gesturing towards me. "Your job is to protect her from the king, do you understand?"

They all bark out their agreement, and I have to stop myself from raising my eyebrows at the sharpness in Grayson's voice, which is so at odds with the softness I'm used to when he speaks to me. He glances over at me, and I know he's giving me the opportunity to say something to them. Frowning slightly, I think about what I want to say, but it doesn't take me long.

"This trip isn't going to be easy. I'm sure the king has something up his sleeve, so I need you to be vigilant." Taking a deep breath, I peer over my shoulder at the elves waiting by the doorway, then I gesture for my high elves to come closer, the three of them standing by my side. "The elves I travel with are like my family." I watch the mages for their reaction. They survey my elves cautiously, but they don't flinch or give me any impression that they want to harm them.

"They will be protecting me as well," I continue, needing them to know I have multiple guards. "I know you have always been taught they are the enemy. Is this going to be a problem for you?"

Silence greets my question, and I start to worry. Was I foolish to think this might work? That the elves and the magicians could work together?

One of the mages at the front of the group shifts his weight from foot to foot and clears his throat, glancing at Grayson as if asking for permission to speak. Grayson nods, and the mage turns his attention to me. Like most from Arhaven, he has golden skin and blond hair, but he doesn't wear his in the typical longer style, instead, it's cut very short and close to his head. Dazzling blue eyes meet mine, and from the fine creases around them, I would say he's in his early thirties.

"We are beginning to see things are not as black and white as we once believed, beloved." His voice is deep, and as he speaks, I notice that several of the other mages nod along with him. There is confusion in their expressions, and I understand how hard this must be for them. "We trust in the Great Mother, and she will guide us true. She is telling us to trust you. If you say these elves are not evil or to be harmed, then we believe you."

There's a murmur of agreement from the other mages, and I realise they look up to this mage. I like him , I think as I assess the man in front of me. Everything he says rings true, almost like Merrin's truth magic, except I don't feel the thick molasses-like feeling of magic in the air.

Allowing a small smile, I dip my head a fraction in acknowledgement of his statement, trying not to let it show that my heart is pounding in my chest. "What is your name?"

The mage immediately performs a low bow before standing straight and giving me a small, gentle smile. "Samson, ma'am."

Yes, I definitely like him. His smile is genuine and reaches his eyes, but he isn't trying to check me out or gain my favour because of my status or relationship with Grayson. My smile widens slightly in return. "Thank you, Samson." There's definitely something about him I still can't put my finger on. "Your magic, do you have a…" I try to think how to phrase it, not knowing the terminology. I know I was gifted by the goddess, but I don't actually possess magic. Merrin has truth magic, and Ellis is able to put his will into his, but I don't know if having a particular skill with magic is normal or not. As far as I'm aware, Grayson doesn't have a particular skill, he's just strong in all areas, which is how he became a high mage.

Thankfully, Samson seems to know what I'm trying to say and smiles, dipping his head slightly. "I am strong in all areas, but I have also been gifted with healing magic."

My eyes widen. "A healer." The words come out as a whisper as I reassess the man in front of me again. I've never heard of a magician with healing magic before. As the protectors and warriors for the humans, their magic is primarily offensive. However, this mage practically radiates calm. If I was to have someone heal me, I would want it to be Samson.

"Yes, it's a very rare gift, we haven't had a healer in over a century," Grayson adds, and I can hear the pride in his voice. From the smile the two of them share, I think they must be friends. This only helps to reassure me more that the elves will be safe with these mages.

There's a slight tug in my chest, which alerts me to Vaeril's confusion. Glancing at him over my shoulder, I see a tiny frown between his brow, the only outward sign of his conflicting emotions. Reaching for the bond, I try to work out why he's feeling this way and realise he's trying to decide something. Something suddenly changes, his face smooths out—he's made his decision.

"The sea and wood elves have some healers, perhaps you could share your knowledge?" he offers smoothly. Pride swells in my chest as I stare at him in shock, not quite believing how far he's come. We still have a long way to go, but this is a huge step.

Everyone is gaping at him in shock, including Naril and Eldrin, the latter of whom is looking furious, but I know he won't say anything in front of the mages.

Samson is looking at Vaeril like he's reassessing him, a tentative smile crossing his face. "I might just do that, thank you." Excitement shines in his eyes at the prospect of learning healing from others. I can imagine it must be difficult being the only one with a particular skill, so learning that there are others will open up a whole new knowledge base for him.

"You're here, good," Merrin calls out as he enters the hall, making his way over to us. He has a smile on his face, but I can see the worry in his eyes.

Nodding my goodbye to Samson and the other mages, I meet Merrin halfway in the center of the hall.

"Are you ready?" he asks, glancing around and mentally counting off those in the room, checking everyone is in attendance. I've not seen him like this before. He's always seemed so calm and sure of everything. Frowning, I reach out and touch his wrist gently to get his attention. He promptly stops gazing around and looks down at my hand, then at my worried expression. Sighing, he places his hand on top of mine, squeezing it gently. "Sorry, Clarissa. I wish I was able to go with you."

Grayson and Ellis will be coming with me to Arhaven, but it was decided that someone should stay behind in case everything went badly and this really was a trap. As such, Pierre was remaining at the guild to protect the students, and Merrin would be taking a group of trained mages with him to the tribes to join the army. Not all of the magicians would be joining the elves and tribespeople in the foothills. It was thought best that some remained at the guild in case of an attack in the human lands. The chiefs advised the mages not to spread their numbers too thin, and thankfully, the high mages took that guidance.

Smiling at the older high mage, I hold his hand for a fraction longer before gently extracting it. He's one of the few people outside of my mates I don't mind sharing casual touch with, but I still have limits. "You're needed elsewhere, I understand."

And I do understand. I get the impression he worries I believe I'm not important enough for him to come with me to Arhaven, but that's not the case. I know I'm putting a lot of people at risk by attending this ‘ball' the king is throwing. If I had it my way, I would be going by myself, but of course that idea was quickly shot down. Besides, I know how important it is that the mages can join with the rest of those gathering. There was a concern that the king could be trying to get all of the magicians in one place and enact revenge on them for daring to resist his orders… Yet they still insist on sending some of their strongest magicians to protect me , I worry internally, glancing over my shoulder at the mages who are now assembling by the door, Samson leading them.

"May the Mother watch over you, beloved," Merrin calls to me, stirring me from my reflections. Smiling at him ruefully, I return the blessing, wishing him luck and speed on his journey.

Organising ten magicians, a high mage, my aunt, Vida, the six tribesmen, six elves, and my mates into carriages took more time than I imagined. Finally, I climb into my carriage with a sigh and drop unceremoniously into the seat with a groan, rubbing my temples with my fingers. A snort catches my attention, and I peer through my fingers to see the others hiding their smiles. Tor sits on my right and reaches out, placing his hand on my lap. On the bench opposite sits Vaeril, Naril, and Eldrin. Everyone is trying to get comfortable or looking out of the windows, except for Naril, who is watching me with a raised eyebrow. I guess I know who was snorting then , I think to myself as I turn away from the elf, knowing if he's got something to say to me, he'll say it.

The carriage lurches forward as the horses start moving, and I lean to the side to look out the window, wanting to get a view of the guild as we leave. Grayson is riding in front of the procession on horseback with the other mages, and I've become so used to having him around that I'm already missing him, my bond throbbing in my chest.

I know it probably seems daft when such a small distance separates us now, and I will be seeing him again in only a few short hours, but if anyone knows how unpredictable life is, it's us. I've learned you have to take the good while you can, because it can be quickly snatched away.

I feel several sets of eyes on me as I watch the guild pass us by, but I don't acknowledge them, my mind a mess of twisted thoughts. I'm so conflicted, not about the males riding in the carriage with me this time, but the city we are slowly making our way towards. Arhaven has never been anything but a prison to me. Even when I was blessed by the Mother and Grayson saved me from slavery, I was still unable to leave the castle. I was still a prisoner, I just had better accommodations. When I fled, I was forced to leave my friends behind, which has been a decision that has haunted me ever since, and I'm not sure what I'm going to find on my return. I know the king will have something planned for me, that much is certain, but this is a lot of effort to go through just to get revenge on one woman. The fact that he has threatened Jacob's life makes me think he does actually need my help with something… Although…

Jacob is my friend, possibly my brother, and there was never any way I was going to not go once I found out he was at risk, which is exactly why the king used him as bait in the first place. There is no doubt in my mind that he would harm his own son to get to me, after all, he slaughtered his wife, my mother, in front of his whole kingdom. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick, and I have to lean back in my seat for a moment, closing my eyes as I try to calm my thoughts.

Tor makes a low, rumbling noise of discontent in his chest, his hand gripping mine, and I know he's struggling with my feelings through the bond. Taking a deep breath, I try to rein in my emotions, pulling them back and muting them so they're not so raw. My mates shouldn't have to suffer too.

"No." Vaeril's voice is sharp from the other side of the carriage. Opening my eyes, I frown over at him in confusion. He gives me a no-nonsense look. "Don't pull away from us."

I'm surprised. I hadn't realised they would be able to feel me withdrawing, but even so, I'm trying to stop them from feeling my pain. They shouldn't have to experience that. "But—" I start, but Tor shifts on the bench and cuts me off.

"No, he's right." Tor gently pulls me around so I'm facing him as much as I can on the carriage benches. He sighs and runs a hand over his face, dragging across his beard as he tries to put his feelings into words. In the tribes, they are taught to resolve everything through actions, particularly through fighting, so I know Tor doesn't always find this kind of conversation easy.

"It's difficult sometimes, feeling what you've been through, knowing I wasn't there, that I couldn't protect you." His admission makes my heart ache. He's told me before he's always felt guilty that he didn't find me when I was taken, but hearing it again is no easier. Leaning forward, he takes both of my hands in his, his eyes intense. "But I never want you to feel like you have to hide those feelings from me. Ever." Closing the distance between us, he presses his lips softly against mine in a gentle kiss, so at odds to his tough exterior. "Understood?" he asks against my mouth, making me smile as I nod. Smiling in return, he kisses me again and sits back on the bench, not caring about our audience. A scowl suddenly clouds his expression as a thought occurs to him. "I may just kill the king for what he's put you through though," he growls.

"Agreed," Vaeril purrs, his feline eyes locked on me.

"Seconded," Eldrin comments at the same time, not looking away from the window.

The atmosphere suddenly changes in the carriage as Naril sits up and narrows his eyes on his brother, then like an owl I saw in the woods, his head spins around and he fastens his gaze onto me. I get an uncomfortable feeling as I watch him. He's been too quiet today. It's like watching a viper. You know it's going to strike, you just don't know when.

Clearing his throat, Naril leans forward, his expression dangerously neutral. "Now that we're on our way and you can't escape," he begins, tilting his head to one side. "Are you going to explain what's going on between you and my brother?"

Mother above , I curse, eyes wide as I stare at Naril's smug face. Of all the days he could have chosen…

Silence fills the carriage for a few seconds as we all absorb his announcement, because that's exactly what it is. He might have phrased it like a question, but he's worded it in a way to try and cause as much drama as possible. He could have taken me aside to quietly ask me what was going on. Instead, he waited until my mates were here and essentially publicly branded me as an adulterer. Fear and dread are at the forefront of my mind, but also anger. I'm angry at him for doing it this way. He may be trying to hurt me, but he is also hurting everyone else in the process.

Gathering my courage, I glance at Tor to see his reaction and notice he's wearing a resigned expression, and when I touch our bond, the feelings are the same. Confused, I look over at Vaeril. He seems frustrated, but I expected his reaction to be more…volatile, like when he found out about Grayson. Movement catches my eye, and I see Eldrin is staring at his brother with a look of hurt and frustration on his face.

"Naril…" Eldrin's voice seems to break through to him, and his mask appears to crack. Turning, he glances at his brother, flinching when he sees Eldrin's expression. He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, irritation rising within me. No, he's the one who wanted to do it this way with everything out in the open, so he's going to have to deal with his brother's feelings.

"No, he's right." My tone has an edge to it, one that holds a challenge. Naril hears it, straightens in his seat, and turns to face me, his cocky mask back in place. "It's time. I'm not ashamed." I lock my eyes with Eldrin as I say this, needing him to hear the truth in my words. Something shines in his eyes, and although we don't have a bond, I swear I can feel him anyway, telling me something we haven't dared to say out loud yet. My throat is suddenly dry, so I swallow, and my palms feel sweaty. "Eldrin and I…"

"You love each other." Vaeril comes to my rescue, surprising everyone in the coach except for perhaps Tor, who crosses his arms over his chest as he observes with interest. Eyes wide, I gape at my mate. My first instinct is to deny it, after all, Eldrin and I haven't put our feelings into words. Yet when I look over at him and our eyes meet, I get the same pounding in my chest that I do with the others, and it has nothing to do the with mating bonds.

"You knew?" Taking a deep breath to try and steady my frantic heartbeat, I hold his gaze, waiting for his condemnation. Except, although he isn't smiling and congratulating us, he isn't snarling or accusing us of going behind their backs like I feared. Naril is staring at Vaeril like he doesn't recognise his friend, his reaction obviously not what he was expecting either.

A low chuckle emits from Tor. Looking at the tribesman beside me, I see his rueful smile as he leans back, tapping on his chest where the bonds sit. "We can feel your emotions, remember?" he reminds me, and I feel like the biggest idiot in Morrowmer.

Of course they would know, or at least suspect that I had feelings, as they would have experienced some of them second-hand.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I bury my face in my hands and let out a noise of frustration. This whole situation is not playing out how I had hoped. I am not in the right mind frame to be tackling this now, I should be preparing to face the king.

What's done is done. Eldrin needs you to see this through now. You have to be strong for him , my mind argues. Peeking between my fingers, I see Eldrin watching me. He's frowning, his usual mask in place, but I spot the vulnerability in his eyes.

Tor places his hand on my lower back, rubbing comforting circles as he leans closer. "Besides, the loaded looks between the two of you were pretty obvious," he teases, making me smile as I realise that's exactly what Eldrin and I had just been doing. Sitting back, I look at my tribesman, grin still in place, and I recognise he said it on purpose to make me smile. "There you are." He cups my cheek, tracing his thumb over my bottom lip. "I just want you to be happy. If that means Eldrin is part of your life…" He takes a deep breath, then rolls his shoulders and nods sharply. "Then so be it." Tor has always been the most open to sharing me, and he's also the most laid-back of my mates. As I reach out for our bond, I can see everything he's saying is true. He genuinely just wants me to be happy. Sure, there is some jealousy there, but it's overshadowed by his love for me.

"You have mates," Naril hisses, and I whip around to face him at his sudden outburst. He's practically seething as he looks me up and down like he's never seen me before. "You can't be in love," he sneers, his whole face twisting in disgust as he spits the last words. His accusation is like acid, and I flinch away from his anger. Had it been anyone else, I wouldn't have let them see the damage their words did, but this is Naril, my friend.

Vaeril snarls in warning at his friend, and I feel Tor stiffen next to me at the insult, seeing the effect Naril's behaviour is having on me, but in the small carriage, there is no escape.

A deep rumble comes from the far side of the carriage, and Eldrin's control finally breaks. Grabbing his brother's shoulder, he jerks him around, breaking his eye contact with me. "Don't speak to her like that!" he snarls, inches away from Naril's face, his anger making him look ferocious and bigger than ever as he faces off against his brother.

This doesn't seem to faze Naril, though, as he narrows his eyes at him, snarling right back. "What are you thinking, Eldrin?" he shouts, gesturing towards me, but he never takes his eyes off his twin. "She is a mated female! It is against our laws!"

I watch the golden-haired brothers as they fight, my heart in my throat. This is what I feared. Naril is taking it worse than I expected, and I hate that I'm coming between them.

"I know!" Eldrin roars, throwing his hands in the air. "You think I didn't try not to fall for her? To stay away?" he challenges, and my heart pangs, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. "I am used to being unhappy, unloved, unwanted. She wants me, brother, and I have never felt like this, but I would sacrifice all of my happiness for the sake of Vaeril's." My heart breaks a little as he speaks, a tear slipping free and rolling down my cheek. I knew the elf queen had done a number on him, making him believe he was no longer perfect or of any value because he was scarred after his capture, but I've not heard him speak like this before. However, from what I know of Eldrin, it sounds exactly like something he would do for his brothers.

Eldrin pauses and takes a deep breath, glancing over at me, our eyes locking. "When I tried to stay away, it only hurt her too, and I couldn't do that anymore."

"We didn't plan for this," I whisper, my voice rough from the tears. With difficulty, I avert my gaze and meet Naril's scathing glare. I hate that it feels like we're having to justify ourselves, especially when I don't have the words to describe what's between Eldrin and me. "There is something pulling us together. I know we are not goddess blessed, but—"

"That shouldn't stop you from being together," Tor finishes for me. "Our bonds do not guarantee love, they only connect us as the goddess has plans for us. We develop that love," he explains as he gestures between us, and then at Vaeril. "You and Eldrin have done that without the goddess' intervention."

"It is against our laws," Naril hisses, his frustration evident.

"Whose laws?" Vaeril retorts with a frown. "The queen's?"

My breath catches in my throat as he speaks. I still don't know how Vaeril feels about my affection towards Eldrin, since he's kept it very close to his chest, his end of the bond carefully blank.

Naril spins on his friend, those golden eyes flashing, the atmosphere in the carriage toxic. "So you're fine with your mate fucking other males?"

Rage fuels my actions, and before I know it, I'm on the other side of the small space, my hand cracking across Naril's face as I slap him. He recoils from the force of the blow, his hand coming up to his reddening cheek as he looks up at me in shock and anger, but he doesn't dare retaliate as I glare down at him.

"How dare you?" My words are low with my fury, my breath heaving as I cradle my stinging hand against my chest. That he could even think I would behave like that disgusts me, and the thought of betraying my mates in that way makes me feel physically sick. How he could think what I have with Eldrin is just fucking, that he believes I'm just giving into my carnal needs when the two of us have barely even kissed, is beyond me. We hadn't wanted to take things any further until we spoke to Vaeril and the others to avoid anything like this.

Vaeril stands and takes my stinging hand, gently examining it, his face blank. "No," he begins, raising my hand to his face and pressing a gentle kiss on my palm, his eyes meeting mine. "But I know Clarissa wouldn't fuck other males." He helps me back to my seat, and as I sit, he turns to Naril. I can feel his anger simmering through the bond, but he seems to have control over it. "Eldrin is not just another male. He is obviously her mate. Can you not see it? All the signs are there."

My heart speeds up as hope blooms, and I look over at Eldrin, only to find his eyes locked on me once again. He's stayed pretty quiet, which is usual for him, a male of few words, even for an elf.

"They are not goddess blessed," Naril argues, his voice exasperated like he can't believe he's having to explain this. "They can't be mates."

Vaeril sits down, frowning at his friend, and I sense his confusion. He doesn't understand why Naril is so against his brother being in love with me. "There is still a connection nonetheless," he points out. "Love is one of the strongest powers of all, is it not?"

Naril opens his mouth to say something, his face twisted, and I realise that no matter what we say, he's still going to protest.

"Why are you so against this?" I try to keep the hurt from my voice, but I know I'm not successful from the way my mates automatically lean towards me, our bonds humming as they offer comfort. "Why are you against him finding happiness?" There's a challenge in my tone now as my anger surfaces. This isn't about me anymore, this is about his brother and why he's trying to hold him back.

"You're going to leave him," Naril retorts immediately, and I lean back at the ferocity in his voice. Once again, hurt fills me that he believes I would do such a thing, and I go to reply, but he's already speaking. "Once all this is over, you'll get tired of him and move off with your mates, and Eldrin will be left behind." The accusations keep coming, and he shifts forward as if to follow me, but Vaeril puts a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from getting any closer. "He doesn't have a goddess bond tying you to him, and he'll get hurt. It will kill him, and I can't see him go through that again." His voice breaks, his eyes shining with tears he refuses to let fall, and I finally realise what's going on.

"Naril, I am not the queen." Now that I know he's trying to protect his brother, all of my anger leaves my body. I'm still frustrated he felt he couldn't trust me, but I understand now. Taking a deep breath, I search for the words and look over at Eldrin. "I don't know if there is something pulling Eldrin and I together, but what I do know is that I love him." As soon as I say the words, something seems to change in him, even though his expression stays the same, but he just appears to…wake up, like a light has been lit inside him. I know I'm not the only one to notice, and I can't help but smile, especially when that smile is tentatively mirrored on his face. "It's still new, and it's still growing, and we will have fights and arguments, but I'm not going to abandon him," I continue, turning back to Naril, who's now watching his brother with an odd expression. "I know you love your brother, but I'm not going anywhere."

Finally, Naril looks back at me. I hold his piercing gaze, unsure what he's looking for, and I don't know what he sees in my eyes, but after a while, he sighs and nods. His attention moves to Tor and then Vaeril. "And you're okay with this?"

There's a pause, and I hold my breath as Vaeril thinks over the question. I need to know the answer just as much as Naril. "If it was anyone else, I would fight this harder, but I know Eldrin, he's practically a brother to me. I want him to be happy," Vaeril finally answers, a rueful smile slowly appearing on his face. "It will take some adjustment, since sharing is not in an elf's nature, but yes."

Naril doesn't say anything in response to his friend, simply nodding and turning to his brother. The two of them share a look, not saying anything for some time. Finally, Naril blows out a breath and shakes his head. "This is what you want?" he inquires, his tone resigned, like he already knows the answer. "You will have to share her with a magician, she will never be wholly yours."

"She is who I want, brother," Eldrin confirms without a trace of doubt.

Naril grabs his twin's shoulder, squeezing it tightly as they share another long stare with each other. The two of them have always seemed so different to me, and I never thought they were that close, but I realise now that they still share a bond no matter their differences in personality. A different type of bond than what I have with my mates, one forged through blood.

Feeling like I'm intruding on their moment, I shift in my seat, but a hand reaches out and stops me from moving away. My head jerks up—Naril. Both of the elves on either side of him are snarling, their eyes locked on his hand around my wrist, so he quickly lets go.

"Brother," Eldrin growls, his voice so low, it's difficult to make out the words. "I love you, but if you ever touch Clarissa like that again, I will rip your arm off."

Naril shoots Eldrin a look, one eyebrow arched, but he nods, raising both hands in a gesture of peace. He doesn't need to touch me again, he's got my attention now which is what he wanted. He turns his intense gaze on me. "I pray that you keep your promise, for the sake of my brother."

I meet his stare and hold steady under his scrutiny. "I will. I swear on the Mother." I mean every word of it , I think, hoping he can feel my intentions.

He must be able to, because after a moment of silence, he nods, and reassured, he sits back in his seat. Sighing, he stretches his arms above his head, and it's like nothing just happened, the atmosphere changing in seconds. "Good. I never thought I'd say this, but let's get this nightmare over with so we can go back to the mountains."

He's right, I want to get back to the camp as soon as possible. Looking out the window at the changing scenery, my stomach twists. I try to convince myself it's from the stress of the conversation we just had, and not the fact that I'm convinced we're walking into a trap. I just have to hope we're all strong enough to get out of this alive.