Chapter 11

T he hallways are blessedly quiet, and I get the feeling that the Mother has something to do with that. I expected to have to hide from the guards, since they must be looking for me after my spectacular exit from the great hall.

I feel small in Vaeril's hold and he carries me easily. My arms are wrapped around his neck, and in this position my head is resting against his chest and I can hear his heart beating. It sounds calm and steady, unlike mine which is pounding in my chest like it's trying to rip its way out of my ribcage. We've stayed silent since we left the underground room, which is probably for the best. I'm worried that if I open my mouth all my uncertainties will come flooding out.

What am I doing? Am I safe with Vaeril? I'm escaping with the enemy of my people, what am I doing?

The thoughts just keep circling around in my mind, but I take a deep breath and focus on my connection with the Mother. She wouldn't let me do this or encourage me if I was doing the wrong thing, right?

A jolt of fear shoots through me so hard that I think I'm going to pass out, and I grip onto Vaeril's arm tight enough to bruise. "Stop," I whisper, barely loud enough for even me to hear, but he hears me and freezes. Looking down at me, he sees my fear and his eyes widen.

"What is it?" he asks, as he lifts his eyes to scan the area, but what he doesn't realise is that it's not my fear I'm feeling. The Goddess mark on my arm is glowing, my skin almost rippling, and I realise She is sending me someone else's fear as a message.

"Someone's in trouble." My whisper is a little louder this time, more sure.

Vaeril frowns at me, his confusion and frustration evident. He darts into an alcove so we aren't in full view, and I think he's going to put me down but he doesn't, instead keeping me tucked in his arms. "What do you mean?"

"We have to help them." Images are filling my mind now, and I know I'm seeing through the eyes of the person who's fear I am feeling. No, not just any person, a child. A low growl rattles through Vaeril's chest, and when I look up at him, I'm not really seeing him, the images still flooding my brain.

"We are in the middle of an escape!" He's angry now, and I know I'm pushing my luck, but this is too important to ignore. "Do you know how long I have waited for this moment?" He could easily leave me here, he didn't have to wait for me after I freed him. It's not fair of me to ask this, but I can't stop myself.

"They're hurting children."

There's a pause followed by another low growl. His grip tightens on me, and I can feel him looking around as he peers out of the alcove.

"Fine. Where?"

I don't answer him, just pointing the directions as they come into my mind, as if the Mother is sending them to me directly. I continue to watch the snippets sent to me through the eyes of a child, and a large man comes into view. I would recognise those tattoos anywhere. "Tor," I whisper, as the child looks around.

It's chaos. Two guards lie dead on the ground, one of them half in the fountain, his blood turning the water red. Tor is fighting off three guards with only an axe, his movements almost inhumanely strong as he battles, bellowing as he buries his axe into the neck of one of his opponents. Placing his foot on the fallen guard's chest, he yanks back the axe before turning to his other opponents. He quickly finishes off the last two before turning to the child, sheathing his weapon as he kneels down in front of me- no, not me, the child.

"You're safe now," he starts, his breathing ragged, but the sound of many marching feet echo around the courtyard and cut him off. Pushing up to standing, he growls and pulls out his axe once again as guards swarm into the courtyard.

All of a sudden, the images disappear, and so does the borrowed sense of fear. My own emotions fill me once again as I look up at Vaeril. "Faster," I urge, dread lining my stomach.

Rounding the corner, we come to a sudden halt as we take in the scene before us. One child is leaning against one of the pillars, holding onto his stomach as blood pools on the ground around him. A woman is kneeling next to him, pressing her hands over the top of his, with tears streaming down her face. A small child, who must be about five, is just behind her, clinging to her dress. The clanging of metal draws my attention to the other end of the courtyard where Tor is fighting off six guards. His side is bleeding, but that doesn't seem to stop him.

"Tor! He doesn't stand a chance," I breathe, looking up at Vaeril. "We need to help him, he's been helping children escape...he's important," I explain, needing him to understand.

He stares at me, and I don't know what he's looking for, but whatever it is, he seems to find it. Nodding, he lowers my feet to the ground, his expression tightening as he takes in the scene. He slides a dagger from his belt that I hadn't seen before, and I just see the gleam of elven carvings etched into the blade before he darts forward into the fight.

A gasp catches my attention and I hurry over to the woman and children. The boy looks up at me with pain-filled eyes as I kneel next to him. I smile, hoping I don't look as scared as I feel.

"I'm here to help. My friends will keep the guards away," I promise, before looking down at the wound. Gently, I move the woman's hands and place mine over the top of the boys. I had always wanted to be a healer, but right now I wish I was anywhere but here. Closing my eyes, I pray, needing guidance.

Great Mother, help me. Help me save this boy, let me take away his pain.

"Beloved," the woman who must be the boy's mother whispers, placing her hand on my arm. It's sticky with blood, and I know I will have a bloody handprint on my arm when she pulls away. "We were trying to escape. I couldn't let either of my children become a slave, so we had to go," she tells me, oblivious to my prayers.

My beloved.

The Mother's voice floods my mind and I let out a relieved breath.

I can't save this boy, it's too late. But I can take away his pain, and right now you need to comfort the mother, she needs you just as much as the boy does.

A tear rolls down my cheek, but I just nod and open my eyes to look at the woman. The warmth of the Mother's power rolls over me again, and I know my mark is glowing.

"I know, and I'm here, and so is the Great Mother," I say to the woman, who's watching me with awe-filled eyes.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," the little boy says, and when I look down at him, he's smiling, his whole body relaxed. "I can see her, she's waiting for me."

My chest is tight, and another single tear rolls down my face as I nod at him. The woman is sobbing, clinging to her other child.

Lifting one hand from the boy's wound, I cup his cheek and smile. "Good, you can rest now."

He turns to smile at his mother before closing his eyes and taking his last breath. His mother leans over his body and sobs. I can't watch this, the woman's pain is threatening to break me. Turning away, I face the fight.

I'd known I was safe while I was with the boy, the Mother had seen to that, but now I need to protect them.

Vaeril and Tor are fighting back to back. Watching the two of them fight together like that, it's more like a deadly dance, their movements so in sync. Bodies are piled up in the courtyard, yet more guards come streaming into the space. They speed up, their movements so fast I can barely see them. Until, suddenly, Tor cries out and drops to one knee.

"Tor!" I shout, before I can stop myself. His head whips around and his eyes widen as he sees me. He must have been so focused on the fight that he didn't notice my arrival.

"Clarissa!" he bellows, rolling out of the way as a sword is swings towards his head. Jumping up, he raises his axe and strikes his attacker. He limps back over to the elf, and for a moment, I worry he's going to attack him, but he simply turns to face the other guards.

With my heart in my throat, I watch as they swiftly take down the remaining guards. When they've all fallen, Tor sinks to his knees and I run over to him, worry coursing through me.

"Are you okay?" Scanning my eyes over him, I catalogue his injuries. The wound on his side seems to have stopped bleeding. He has a cut on his forehead, and I put my hands on his head to hold him still so I can look at it. It's small, and it just looks dramatic, but it should heal fine. Tor stills under my touch and I can feel his eyes boring into me.

"Yeah, one of the bastards damaged my knee," he grumbles, and I take my hands from his head and try to examine his knee. It's swollen and already bruised, which will make escaping difficult.

"Clarissa, we have to go." Vaeril steps into my line of sight, his expression carefully blank as he watches me. My heart feels like it's being pulled in two—part of me wanting to stay here to make sure Tor is okay, and the other part desiring to go with Vaeril, knowing that's the only way to avoid the king's wrath.

Tor reaches out and grabs my wrist, stopping me as I go to stand up.

"Come with me."

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. When I open them, he's staring at me with such emotion that I have to look away. My gaze falls on the weeping woman and her little girl, and I know what needs to happen.

"No, you have to get them to safety."

He stares at me for a second before he nods and tries to push himself up, wincing in the process. I reach out to steady him, and he looks down at where my hand rests against his chest.

"Then wait for me, I'll help you," he replies simply, as if that's all there is to it.

"Clarissa," Vaeril calls, and Tor turns and snarls in response.

"I am grateful for your help, elf, but stay out of this," he growls, shifting his weight onto his good leg. Taking a few steps towards Vaeril, he stops when the elf bares his teeth in warning. They're going to start fighting if I don't sort this out quickly. Jumping between them, I place my hands on Tor's chest and wait until he looks down at me.

"No, when we leave we will cause a distraction and they will follow us, giving you time to escape with the woman and child."

He frowns, adamantly shaking his head. "Clarissa, wait—"

Knowing he's going to keep arguing, I push him gently towards the shield that covers the back fountain. He takes a few staggering steps back, and I know he's letting me since there is no way I could push someone his size against their will, but the look he gives me is a cross between determination and pain.

Glancing over at the woman, I gesture for her to come closer. With one last sob, she leaves the body of her son and takes the hand of her little girl, hurrying over to me.

"Follow Tor, he will protect you," I tell her, releasing a big breath as they step into the shield and disappear from view.

Tor is still standing at the edge of the shield, refusing to budge that last step, but as the sound of more armoured feet fills the courtyard, I know it's time to go.

"I'm sorry. Be safe." I raise up onto my tiptoes and go to press a kiss against his cheek, but he turns his head at the last moment so our lips meet. Surprise makes me freeze.

His arm comes around my waist, pulling me close as he deepens the kiss. I gasp into his mouth as feelings of desire swirl through me, and I kiss him back. I hadn't meant to, but now that I've started, I find it difficult to stop.

"Clarissa," Vaeril barks, his voice washing over me like an ice-cold bucket of water. I jerk away from Tor. My breathing is ragged, and I back away until I bump into the elf. Looking up at him, I see he's not watching me, instead his eyes are locked on Tor, who has a satisfied smirk on his face.

Suddenly, I'm knocked off my feet as Vaeril scoops me into his arms just as more guards appear. Tor jumps back into the shield, but not before I see his expression—frustration, anger, and pain. "We will see each other again, Clarissa," he calls out, and although I know it's unlikely, I cling to the promise.

Vaeril waits long enough for the guards to see him before turning and running from the courtyard, holding me tightly against his chest as we move at a supernatural pace. Cries of "Elf!" follow us, along with running footsteps, and I know our distraction has worked. We've done the right thing, so why does my heart ache?

"Could we not have gone with Tor?" I ask quietly, and I know I've hit a nerve when he stiffens, his arms tightening around me as he runs.

"No, he had to help the woman and child escape. His injury would have made him too slow to come with us. He needed the distraction, otherwise the guards would have found them. And he needs the help of his people to heal," he replies, his voice low as he lists the reasons. I know he's right, but I can't shake the feeling that we could have made it work if we had more time.

"I feel bad, just leaving him like that..." I reach up and touch my lips as the memory of his kiss fills me with warmth.

"We didn't have a choice," he reminds me, gruffly this time.

Didn't we?

We fall silent again as we dart through the dark castle corridors, criss-crossing as we go, and I know we have lost the guards—at least for now. Coming to a large window, Vaeril reaches out and pushes it open before climbing up onto the ledge.

"Wait, what are you—" I'm cut off as he pushes away from the ledge and jumps out of the window, stealing my breath. For a second, it feels like we're suspended in mid-air, like we are flying, but then that sinking feeling comes over me as we fall, plunging to the ground. It's a long drop, but the elf lands gracefully in a crouch. I had barely moved during the whole thing, and I have to remind myself once again he's not human, so I shouldn't expect him to meet human expectations.

"Can you run?" he asks me suddenly as he stands, setting me on my feet as he straightens. Looking around, I see we aren't far from the walls that surround the castle. There will be guards patrolling, so we'll need to be quick.

"Short distances, yes," I reply, hoping my stamina has improved since I've been ‘Lady Clarissa' and had hot meals and full nights' rest.

The elf nods. "Follow me."

He takes off in a jog and I run to catch up with him, only just managing to keep him in sight. I keep running, using the bushes as cover. My legs hurt and my lungs burn, but I keep going. I'm used to pushing my body to its limits, but the last few weeks of inactivity have made me soft. Vaeril suddenly darts behind a bush and I hear a shocked gasp. Panic flares inside me and I push myself harder. Just as I reach the bush, he steps out, and I see a pair of booted feet lying on the ground, poking out from the foliage.

"The coast is clear, come," he calls, and I raise my head, realising why he asked me to run. This way, he can sprint ahead and check if anyone is hiding in wait. He can't fight if I'm in his arms.

We run over to the large wall and I look up at the vertical climb. I have no idea how I'm going to get up there, and Vaeril must be thinking the same thing. "Climb onto my back," he instructs, and I pause for a second.

Is this safe? I snort at the thought. None of this is safe, but we need to go, and climbing this wall is the only way out. Blowing out a breath, I hurry over to him, and as he kneels down, I climb onto his back, threading my arms around his neck. Taking a step forward, he reaches out and places his hand against the wall. Suddenly, his body stiffens and he cries out, stumbling back. The wall seems to ripple, and shouts arise from the castle as a bell tolls, waking the whole castle. We must have set off some sort of magical alarm.

Vaeril jerks his hand back and falls to the ground in pain. I just manage to jump off his back before he lands on me, and I kneel at his side as his body seems to seize. His back arches and he hisses in pain.

"Vaeril—" I'm interrupted as shouts get closer. Looking around, I feel my panic start to rise. We're going to get caught.

Think, Clarissa, think! I look back at the wall and tentatively touch it with a fingertip. When nothing happens, I place my palm against the wall and I can feel the spell weaved into the stone. Looking back at Vaeril, I see he's stopped writhing around now and he's sitting up, but he still looks like he's in pain if the tightness in his jaw is anything to go by. This spell is obviously designed to repel elves, as it doesn't affect me at all. If we are going to escape, I'll need to break the spell.

Or leave him behind . No, as soon as the thought comes into my head, I dispel it. I'm not getting out of here without him.

"Get ready, I'm going to break the spell on the wall, but I'll need you to catch me."

"I'm fine, I'm ready," he rasps, as he moves forward to stand behind me. I believe him, but his voice is still tight with pain. "That spell was strong, it would have killed a weaker elf. Be careful."

Nodding, I take a deep breath and focus on my task. I raise both hands and press them against the wall. Closing my eyes, I focus on the spell and how it works and start to unravel it. Like before, as soon as I start the process, I can't seem to stop, the energy being drained from me. This spell is huge, it covers the whole wall which encircles the castle grounds. I feel my body collapse, but my hands are still glued to the wall. I've never tried to break a spell this big before, and I can feel it mocking me as I try to break it.

You're not strong enough , my insecurities sneer, and I worry they may be right.

"Clarissa," Vaeril calls, but I can't respond, all my energy is spent and my head droops. I can feel him behind me as he shuffles closer so I'm in his lap. His hands come up and rest on my arms, causing my skin to erupt in goosebumps as the little hairs on my arms stand on end. He's touched me before, so why does this feel different?

"What can I do to help you?"

I want to reply, to tell him I don't know, that just him being behind me with my back pressed against his chest makes me feel stronger, but I don't have the energy.

He goes quiet for a moment, and having him this close, makes that place within me that binds us together happy, and with a strength I didn't know I possessed, I push a little harder against the spell. A sound echoes around us like cracking glass, and the spell shatters. My body slumps, and my arms are finally released from the wall, and had Vaeril not been behind me, I would have fallen to the ground.

Shouting fills the air and I feel a strange magic surrounding us, something I've not felt before. Opening my eyes, I see a faint green shimmering dome surrounding us. Vaeril has one hand extended and he's muttering in a language I assume is elvish. Something speeds towards us before bouncing harmlessly away with a sizzle, the green dome flashing brightly before becoming almost invisible.

"Clarissa, hold on tight, we have to go now." Everything feels kind of fuzzy and it's like I'm listening to him underwater, but I can hear the urgency in his voice. Flashes of green against the almost invisible dome keep catching my attention as my fatigue threatens to pull me into unconsciousness.

"Clarissa!" Vaeril barks, drawing my attention back to him. He kneels again and gestures for me to climb onto his back. Every movement hurts, and I groan at the thought.

So tired. Even my thoughts are sluggish.

"I know, Clarissa, I know. I just need you to do this one thing for me and then you can rest. I promise." His voice is strained, and I wonder if I had spoken out loud without realising it.

" Beloved, you must go. " The soothing voice of the Mother floods my mind, filling my body with healing light that seems to fuel my aching limbs.

Suddenly, it's like a veil has been lifted and the world is running in full speed again, with sounds battering my sensitive hearing. I can already feel the strength the Mother gave me to start to ebb, and I know if we are going to get out of here, I need to move my ass. Turning, I quickly climb onto the elf's back, gripping tightly around his neck. I don't miss his relieved sigh as he loops his arms through my legs.

"Ready?"

He doesn't wait for my reply. Taking a few steps back, he runs at the wall. Just when I think we're about to crash into it, he takes a huge, soaring jump. We collide with the wall and it must have hurt him, but he doesn't show any signs of pain as he starts climbing up the vertical barrier. My whole body is aching, and the higher we go, the harder I it is to hold on. In the end, I have to focus entirely on clinging to Vaeril, using every last scrap of strength I have.

"Hold on, almost there." I'm not sure if Vaeril is talking to me or himself, since the vertical climb is made much more difficult for him as he holds a magical shield and carries dead weight. Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, we reach the top of the wall. Knowing I'm about to drop, he pulls me from his back and cradles me against his chest. With a grunt of exertion, he pushes away from the wall, and for a second, it feels like we're suspended in the air as weightlessness fills me. When we start to drop, I have to bite my lip to stop the startled scream that's trying to fight its way up my throat.

We land with a thud, Vaeril crouching low. We stay this way for a few seconds, and I worry he's hurt. In this position, with me cradled against his chest, our faces are close together. My energy is quickly fading now, the Goddess's strength fading from my body, but I need to make sure he's okay. "Vaeril?"

My voice seems to pull him out of whatever trance he had fallen into, and he raises his head slightly so I can see his face. His eyes are wide as he looks around us, as if he can't quite believe what he's seeing.

"I'm free." It's barely a whisper, but I can hear the awe in his tone. Feeling my eyes on his face, he turns his gaze to me, the smallest of smiles pulling at his lips. "And it's because of you."

I want to respond, to tell him we did it together, but unconsciousness is calling me. Frowning, Vaeril realises I'm about to pass out, and the shouting from the other side of the wall is getting louder.

"Find the elf and the traitor, we can't let them get away!"

The words make me flinch as Vaeril stands with me bundled in his arms. He glances down at me, and with an unreadable expression, he brushes a strand of hair from my face.

"I will take you somewhere safe, you can rest now."

As soon as he says the words, I lose the fight against my fatigue. The last thing I hear as Vaeril starts to run from the wall is the shouts of "Traitor!" before I fall into the inky blackness of oblivion.