Chapter 2

T he magicians cast some sort of spell over me, which cloaks me from view as we hurry to Grayson's rooms. However, they needn't have worried as the castle was deserted and eerily quiet. Thankfully, we were able to avoid the Queen's Courtyard and the main square where everyone had been slaughtered just hours ago. I'm not sure how I would have coped if I had to look at their fallen bodies again. Anger still simmers in my gut, and I'm not sure how I would react if I saw anyone who was involved in the murder of all those slaves.

Although haste is key, my body is so weak, every limb aches, making moving a painful process. We get to the hall leading to Grayson'sliving quarters before my legs give way. Slumping against the wall, I look up at Grayson and shake my head, holding up my hand as I pant for breath. Whatever that magic did to me, it's affecting me even worse now. I can hear the four of them talking in low, hushed voices before blue robes flash in front of my vision. Raising my tired head, I see Grayson crouching in front of me, his face uncharacteristically stern.

"Sorry, Clarissa, but we need to get somewhere safe," he says, and I'm about to ask what he's sorry for when he scoops one arm under my legs and the other behind my back, picking me up. I let out a gasp as he holds me close, gently, as if I'm some delicate package. He's never held me this way before, but that strange pull between us practically hums with pleasure at our proximity. I try to ignore it as he hurries along the corridors, but I can't help wondering if he can feel it too. It doesn't take long for us to reach his rooms after that, and a familiar door comes into view. Shifting my weight in his arms, he frees a hand and the door opens with a flick of his wrist.

"Oh, Grayson!" I hear Jayne shout out, except her voice is not the happy, motherly tone I'm used to from her. "There was nothing I could do! I'm so sorry!" Her devastated declaration makes a piece of my heart break for her, and as we enter the living room, I see her with her face buried in her hands as she kneels by the lounge chair, her back heaving from the force of her sobs.

The other magicians file in around us, and immediately shift uncomfortably as they see the sobbing woman on the floor. Glancing up at Grayson's stricken face, I simply put my hand on his chest and nod towards Jayne. He understands what I'm asking, and gently lowers me to the floor. Wincing slightly, I take a couple of seconds to get my balance before slowly walking over to the maid. I kneel by her side and place a hand on her shoulder.

"Jayne—" I don't get any further before her shocked face pops up, her eyes red from crying as she runs them over me, seeing I'm still in one piece. Crying out, she throws her arms around me and pulls me into her bosom, clutching me hard enough to create bruises. I'm still not comfortable with casual touch, but I try not to flinch and I don't say anything. Besides, this is Jayne, and if she needs this, then it's the least I can do after what happened to her earlier. Someone in the room coughs and she raises her head, narrowing her eyes.

"I thought I had lost the closest person I had to a daughter, excuse me if I show a bit of emotion!" she growls, before realising whom she's talking to. She quickly gives a half-hearted bow of her head. "High Mage." Normally, this would be enough to have me snorting, but her words are like a blow to my chest.

I know I must have had a mother, but I have no memories from before I was enslaved at the age of eight. I don't know how this is possible. Maybe there's something wrong with me, hiding my memories from my consciousness. When I was a child, I'd sometimes have dreams of a woman embracing me, her heat keeping me warm during the coldest winters. However, I've never had a mother figure in my life, so for Jayne to say that…it leaves me speechless and makes my heart pound painfully in my chest. She brings her attention back to me, placing both hands on my face as she scans it for signs of injury.

"You're okay? They didn't hurt you?" she asks, leaning back a little so she can take in the rest of me. I shake my head, and I hear her mutter that I look exhausted before she raises her gaze to mine again. Her bright blue eyes are sparkling, and for a moment I think she's going to start crying again. "When they dragged you out of here—" Throwing her arms around me, she pulls me into a tight hug again. I can hear the others moving restlessly behind me, realising this isn't going to be a quick reunion.

Grayson comes into my line of sight, and I widen my eyes at him, gesturing towards the tearful maid with my head, my arms trapped by her hug. For such a small woman, she's surprisingly strong. Grayson just grins and shrugs, giving me a ‘what can I do about it?' look. Glaring, I mouth, "Traitor," which makes him laugh. Jayne pulls away from me and spins to look at the mage, narrowing her eyes on him.

"Grayson, do you want to explain where you've been while the underworld descended upon us?" She steps towards him, and I watch in amusement as his cheeky expression drops and he holds his hands up in defence as the small woman advances on him. "What is the point of being your maid if I'm not going to get the benefits of having a high mage around? A tiny smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, which quickly drops as she places her hands on her hips.

"This is amusing, is it? Putting me through that?" I can hear the pain in her voice, and Grayson looks devastated as he encircles his arms around her, holding her tight.

"No, I'm sorry, Jayne." He sounds genuinely distressed, and as I watch the two of them, I realise she's like a mother to him too.

"I thought we'd lost her." Her voice is muffled from where she's pressed against Grayson, her face buried in his robes. "He threatened to kill me if Clarissa didn't go with him. Of course I told her not to, but she didn't listen." Her face appears over Grayson's shoulder as she says this last part, shooting a glare at me.

Grayson stills and, for a second, I worry he will slip into euisa, but he seems to calm himself, his anger simmering. I'm surprised he's been able to control it, considering he went into euisa over something similar before. I'll have to remember to ask him at another time how he's keeping it under control, but with the other magicians here, and more important questions to answer, now is not the time.

After a few minutes, Jayne takes a deep breath and steps away from Grayson, pointing a finger at him. "You owe me an explanation, but right now, we need tea." She leaves the room and a low chuckle fills the space, the older mage smiling wryly at Grayson.

"I can see why you like to stay here now," one of the magicians comments, but I don't turn to see who it is.

Grayson smiles and gestures for us to head into the sitting room, which is more comfortable and has enough seats for us all. Immediately, I walk up to the snug armchair that takes up the back corner. I adopted this as my spot when Grayson first brought me here, and don't think to offer it to one of the other guests. There is a long couch opposite the large fireplace, along with several other single chairs. The others look around as they file in, Grayson taking his chair across from me. The younger mage, who has been completely silent, is still staring at me.

"How are you alive?" he finally blurts out, ending his silence.

"Ellis," the older mage admonishes with a disapproving tone.

"I would also like to know this, Merrin," the quiet, disapproving mage adds, his voice tight as he turns his attention to me. I immediately decide we're not going to get along. He's exactly what I would expect of our brutal warriors who fight for us on the battle front, both in looks and attitude. I wonder how Grayson managed to pull them away when they are so desperately needed. "You should be dead from that level of magic, but you are not." He tilts his head as he speaks, and I get the image in my mind of a snake watching its prey, coiled up and ready to strike.

Merrin sighs as he leans towards me with an apologetic smile on his face. "He is right, my dear. Do you know what happened?"

"What are you?" the viper snaps. His voice is sharp as he leans towards me, and if Grayson hadn't jumped up from his seat and strode over me, acting as a shield between us, I'm not quite sure what would have happened.

"Pierre!" he barks at the snakelike mage, who simply sits back in his seat, seemingly unperturbed.

"Be careful what you say, Pierre," Merrin responds sagely, his attention flicking between the two of us.

"She is Goddess blessed, remember?" Ellis murmurs quietly, his eyes wide as he watches me. The room falls silent as all their gazes land on Grayson and me, who's still standing protectively in front of me.

Merrin shifts in his chair, smiling at me before turning to Grayson, his expression becoming more serious. "Grayson, we will behave ourselves." He throws a quick, warning look at Pierre. "She is safe with us," he promises, and I get the sense he is telling the truth. He means every word he says. Trust is hard-earned with me, but I've never felt so compelled to trust someone, especially not after first meeting them. Grayson nods his head and returns to his chair before addressing me.

"Clarissa, meet the high magicians. Pierre, Ellis, and Merrin." He gestures to each one in turn. "Merrin is gifted with truth, which helped him gain his position. He can only speak the truth and knows when others are lying," he informs me, and something in my gut twists as I meet the older magician's gaze. I would have to be careful when talking to him.

"It's okay, he knows everything," Grayson reassures me, as if he's able to feel my anxiety.

Nodding, I turn to face the waiting mages. I'm a little disconcerted that these people know more about me than I do about them, but Grayson seems to trust me. "What do you want to know?"

Merrin opens his mouth to ask a question, but Ellis leans forward, his expression one of concern as he cuts him off. "How did you survive my magic?"

Glancing across at Grayson, I see him nod in encouragement and I let out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. The others eagerly wait for my response, but I don't know what they expect, I know next to nothing about magic, after all.

"I'm not sure," I admit, as I shrug my shoulders, instantly regretting it as pain follows the movement. Pierre emits an annoyed sound in the back of his throat, making me flinch. Anger bubbles up inside me. I'm annoyed, but I don't want the magician to see how much he's affecting me.

"This is pointless," Pierre growls, looking like he's about to jump up and use a different, more violent method to force me to talk. He doesn't believe me, and I get the impression that whatever I say, he's going to believe otherwise.

"She's telling the truth. Let the girl talk," Merrin chides, and I can hear a note of anger in his tone that hadn't been there before. Perhaps it's not just me who dislikes the magician. "Continue, please."

"We have found that since I was blessed,I can…" Pausing, I try to determine how to describe it, recalling what Grayson said when we first discovered my gifts from the Mother. "I can detect magic. I can feel it. It's like there's a heaviness in the air. I can also amplify magic."

The atmosphere of the room seems to change as I speak, the mages watching me with a new interest in their eyes. Their expressions range from general interest to greed, and it makes me nervous. I won't be used as a tool, not anymore.

"Yet she has no magic?" Merrin directs his question at Grayson, who simply nods to confirm.

"Show us," Pierre demands with a hungry gleam in his eyes, suddenly interested now that I may be of use to him.

Glancing over at Grayson for reassurance, I see how tense he is as he watches us, but he nods reluctantly. Closing one hand into a fist, he gestures with the other, muttering under his breath, and once he unfurls his fist, a small ball of light sits in his palm. The thick, syrupy feeling fills the air again as I stare at the light. Magic amazes me, how it can create something out of nothing.

Looking up, I watch as Grayson smiles slightly and tilts his head as he waits for me to walk over and join him. Slowly, and with more pain than I would like, I make my way to his side.

"Just touch it like you did before," he instructs, glancing over at the other magicians who are watching closely. "You might want to shield your eyes," he warns, his smile growing slightly as his cheeky side starts to surface. I don't know if they heeded his warning or not, I simply reach out and touch the glowing orb. Like before, it instantly grows, filling the room with a blinding light before it seemingly explodes into a hundred little lights that fizzle around us.

The room is completely silent. Ellis and Merrin stare at me in surprise, while Pierre looks like all his wishes have come true.

"Are the fireworks over yet?" Jayne's voice breaks the silence and the energy in the space settles as they all smile.

"Yes, thank you, Jayne," Grayson answers, as she bustles in and places a tray of steaming cups on the small table in the centre of the room. The three high magicians talk together as Jayne arranges everything on the table and then leaves with a small smile aimed at me, her eyes gleaming. I know that the tears and hugs are not over yet, and once our ‘guests' leave, I will be barraged with more questions.

I don't blame her, I have so many questions myself, I think to myself as the memories from earlier today flash through my head. Flinching away from the images, I realise I've closed my eyes and I'm still crouching next to Grayson, who is watching me with a concerned frown. I stand quickly, hurrying back over to my chair, acutely aware of several sets of eyes on me as I go. As I sink into the armchair, fatigue settles over me and drags me down, and I struggle into an upright position.

Too much. It's too much. My body seems to be screaming, and I know if I have any more interaction with magic, I will pass out. I don't know where that knowledge comes from, but I take it as truth.

"Just think, if we had her on the battlefield, we would have the advantage over the elves. They wouldn't stand a chance with her amplifying our magic." Pierre sounds gleeful, something dark sparkling in his eyes.

"She would also make a good spy. She's used to blending in and being unseen from her life as a slave, and with her ability to sense magic…she's invaluable," Ellis agrees, his expression thoughtful.

"Yes, she is. But she is meant for something else, remember the vision," Grayson barks, fury flashing through his eyes, and something that looks a little like fear. "She's not going anywhere near a battlefield."

"We still haven't worked out her purpose yet. The Mother has yet to reveal it to us, we only know she is important," Merrin chimes in, looking around the room as he speaks, meeting the eyes of each person. "It also doesn't explain how she survived that much magic. That should have been a killing blow." I shift uncomfortably as they all look at me thoughtfully once again. "Ellis is capable of pushing his will into his magic, if he shoots to kill, then it will. He can do the same with pain, pleasure... you get the idea."

I must have unwritten the spell, like I did with the magic in Vaeril's cuff, I realise with shock, my body going numb with the possibilities. I can't tell them that I can break spells, they would never let me out of their sight. Although, when they cast magic over me earlier to cloak me from view, and when Grayson used his magic to turn my hair blonde, I didn't break their magic, nor the light I just touched, so it must only be with certain magic then. Maybe it's the intent behind the magic that I break? The veil and changing my hair were meant to help me, whereas the magic that was thrown was to kill. Vaeril's cuffs are to contain and force him to work.

A cough in the room brings me back to the present and I realise they are still staring at me, as if waiting for something.

"I'm not sure." It's not a lie, not really, but my eyes flick to Merrin. His expression doesn't change, his encouraging smile steady. "I guess it's part of my gift from the Mother," I reply, my hand raising to touch the mark on my wrist. As if in response, it starts to glow softly. Ellis watches me with a revered expression as he pushes up from his chair and takes the few steps towards me before kneeling. I watch him wearily, quickly looking up at Grayson for comfort, who is frowning but nods.

"Clarissa... When I saw you jump in front of the elf, I thought I'd killed you. I've never felt panic like it before, and I want to apologise to you." Eyes wide at his confession, I watch as he bows his head. What do I say to that? In such a short span of time, I've had two of the high mages, one of the most powerful beings in our culture, kneeling before me, an ex-slave. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, but I need some answers.

"I know you weren't trying to hurt me, and truthfully, it didn't really hurt." He raises his head as I speak, surprise clear on his face as if he wasn't expecting my forgiveness. If this was Grayson, I would reach out and place a hand on his shoulder, but I don't really know this person. However, I think the two of us would have got on well in different circumstances. "But you can't hurt Vae—the elf." I catch myself before I say his name, knowing they wouldn't understand. "He is instrumental in what is going to happen here. The Mother told me this."

Truth.

Ellis stands and moves back to his seat, and they all seem to mull over what I've said, and just when they seem like they're about to agree, Pierre leans forward. "You're asking us not to kill our enemy."

"Yes." I don't bother to explain any further, he doesn't deserve it. He looks as if he's going to protest, but Merrin shakes his head slightly and raises one hand.

"We won't harm the elf for now, it is not why we came here."

I don't miss the ‘for now,' but I'll take it. After all, Merrin can't lie. I reluctantly nod, but his words spark my own questions.

"There are some things I need to know before you go," I say with more power and authority than I feel. The four magicians look at each other, coming to some silent agreement.

"You may ask, but we may not be able to answer them," Ellis responds with a slight smile.

"Where have you been?" I shoot at Grayson, before looking back at the other magicians. "Why are you here? What happened in the courtyard? What happens next? Is Wilson safe?" As soon as I start asking, all of the questions start spilling out, my voice becoming more desperate with each one.

"I suppose I should start," Grayson begins wearily, leaning forward and rubbing a hand over his haggard-looking face. "I left a couple of days ago to meet up with Merrin. We had been in contact for a while, and I knew I had to get you out of the agreement with the priests. I'm not strong enough on my own, I needed backup. So I rode as fast as I could and met with Merrin." He gestures towards the older magician, who nods his head. "He agreed with me, and we went in search of other high magicians who would support us."

"When Grayson told me of a blessed woman who he had seen in a vision from the Great Mother, I knew we had to help," Merrin says, continuing the explanation."The priests have become twisted over the years, and the magicians used to keep an eye on them, keep them in line." He sighs now, seeming weary. Whether that is from his story or their travel here, I don't know. "However, the state we are in with the war… most of us are needed on the front lines. I was at the academy, training the new magicians, and I knew Ellis would support us, so we travelled to where he was stationed."

"Pierre required a bit more encouragement, but eventually the four of us returned. I was hoping to gain more support, perhaps bring back some of the lower level magicians to keep around, but I got this… feeling, like an urgency I've never felt before, and I knew I was needed here," Grayson interjects, taking over again, his eyes locked on mine as he explains. "From there we travelled as fast as we could, but we were not fast enough." His sorrow is evident as he speaks and shakes his head, grief lining his features. Pulling my gaze away, I look at the other magicians, and see similar expressions on their faces—even Pierre looks regretful at the loss of life.

"When we arrived, they were rounding up the last of the slaves for slaughter," Ellis murmurs, and I feel a tightness in my chest. Any hope I had that some of my fellow slaves were rescued dies as I see his expression and slow shake of his head. "We weren't able to save any of them. Bodies were piled up higher than a full-grown man."

I feel sick at his explanation, being able to imagine it all too well. Closing my eyes, I lean back into my chair, reminding myself I'm safe as I try to push away the images their words create in my mind.

"At first, I thought you were in there…I might have gone a little crazy." Grayson's sheepish words have me opening my eyes and looking at the magician questioningly.

"He went into euisa," Ellis clarifies, and something clicks in my thoughts as the story comes together.

"That's why you didn't go into euisa earlier when you saw me with Vae—the elf. You had already thought I was dead, so in comparison, it wasn't enough to trigger you." I quickly correct myself, but he doesn't seem to notice my slip up. "I thought you might have earlier when Jayne was talking about the guard who took me." He nods sagely as I speak.

"I already thought I had lost you once today, so it's going to take a lot to send me back into euisa."

My heart beats painfully in my chest. I knew Grayson cared for me, but I had always assumed it was more in a guardianship way out of responsibility.

Is he saying he… No, he cares for me in the same way he cares for Jayne. We are family, and that is enough. Now is not the time to be getting caught up in feelings. Clearing my throat, I nod and try to act like what he just said hasn't thrown my mind into a tizzy.

"What happened?" He winces slightly at my question.

"Let's just say I don't think the priests will be very helpful from now on," Pierre comments sarcastically.

"Grayson reacted the same way any of us would if our family was threatened," Merrin jumps in, his usual pleasant expression turning into a frown at the other magician's flippant remark. "Unfortunately, some of the priests got in Grayson's way."

"I killed them, and I would have continued to kill a pathway straight to you if my fellow magicians hadn't helped." He sounds completely unregretful as he speaks, meeting my eyes. I should be scared, horrified, and repulsed—this man killed other people. I'm feeling a whole plethora of emotions, but none of them are any of the above. The death of the slaves? Yes, that horrifies me, but not the deaths of the priests. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I can't even find it within me to be upset at their demise. The priests are the ones behind my suffering for the last twelve years, after all, and they're responsible for the deaths of all those slaves.

"Good." I hardly recognise myself as I speak.

Something flutters in my chest, but I don't think it's from me—the connection I have with Grayson is making itself known. Someone coughs as we continue to stare at each other, and I'm pretty sure Ellis murmurs, "Awkward," under his breath. Blushing, I pull my gaze from Grayson, who's smiling ruefully. I shift in my seat before I turn to the others like nothing happened, trying to resist the urge to look back at Grayson.

"What happened next? Everyone had been called to watch the queen's execution. Was everybody still in the courtyard?" I inquire, pulling their focus back to what happened when I was in the underground room. What I really want to be asking is if he'd seen Mage Wilson or Tor from the mountain tribes. Something tries to spark to life within me, but I push it down. Now is not the time to start examining those feelings.

"No, a few of the nobles were there, but Wilson was helping them escape," Grayson explains, and I feel a huge weight leave my shoulders. Wilson's okay. My eyes sting as tears threaten to fall, but I can't cry now, not while there are so many eyes on me. I'll save that for when I'm alone and I can process everything that's happened.

"The tribesmen were fighting with the guards." Grayson's comment distracts me from my tears as my eyebrows shoot up. I hadn't expected them to fight our people while they were here as diplomats. "I think we might have lost their support," he continues dryly, and Pierre chuckles, but it's devoid of amusement as he shakes his head.

"I can't say I blame them." Merrin sighs, leaning back in his chair as he strokes his beard. "Mass genocide is not usually a sign of a stable country." The others murmur a wordless agreement and a heavy weight seems to fall over the room.

"After that, Grayson knew where you would be and led us to you," Ellis finishes after a few moments. I know they have other questions, and queries about my relationship with their colleague, but they don't know me well enough to ask, and I'm grateful for that. Shuffling forward in my chair, I reach for the forgotten mugs on the small table, enjoying the warmth of the drink through the ceramic. The magicians follow suit, humming in appreciation as they sip the drinks. I realise then that they must have travelled a long way without time to stop for rest or refreshments. This must be the first time they're able to sit, although they don't look that tired. I suppose one of the benefits of having magic is being able to restore your energy.

"What happens now?" I ask after they have settled back in their chairs. "Will Grayson get in trouble for killing those priests?"

"We will need to discuss that and talk with the other high magicians, but we need to make it clear that we do not support the mass slaughter of slaves," Merrin answers in a tired voice—they're more exhausted than their outward appearance shows. Or perhaps the deaths of the slaves and the queen have affected him more than he's letting on. "We've had a tenuous relationship with the priests for a while, but they've been too long without one of us keeping an eye on them." The atmosphere in the room is heavy, and I'm reminded that he's much older than the rest of us. Wearily, he continues, his voice grave as he shakes his head.

"This has been building for a while. For years, the priests and the mages would keep an eye on each other, make sure that the other doesn't get too powerful. That was how the Mother intended it. However, with the war as it is, all of the high mages have been required to help on the front lines or at the academy. It's only recently, when Grayson returned here and started reporting back, that we realised how out of control the priests had become."

"What does this mean?" I ask with a frown, not really understanding. The four magicians look at each other, their expressions grave. After a couple of moments of silent discourse, Grayson stands and makes his way over to me, holding out his hand in an offer to assist me to my feet.

"It means things are going to change around here."