Chapter 19

G rayson lived up to his word and spent the next couple of days working to try and get me released from the arrangement with the priests. This meant I didn't get to see much of him, which upset me more than I had anticipated. Sure, Wilson spent a lot of time with me to keep me company, and he even took Aileen and I for a walk around the palace grounds. It was great to get out of the castle and have some fresh air, I especially loved seeing the two of them bicker and joke around. I like Aileen. Her fiery temper and sense of humour have me chuckling when I'm feeling anxious.

Whatever Grayson has been doing to stop me from having to work for the priests hasn't worked, but it has helped. When I returned the next day, the guards didn't touch me, simply kept a wary eye on both the elf and me. Vaeril barely spoke to me other than a curt question asking if the mage had healed me, but I could feel his eyes watching me as I cleaned. I didn't work as long, Grayson collected me after only a handful of hours and dropped me off in his rooms before he disappeared once again.

I don't know how long this will last as I've seen Priest Rodrick glaring at me from the staircase, and I know he's plotting ways to make me suffer. However, I make the most of this brief moment of respite.

"You won't be working for the priests today," Grayson informs me as we eat breakfast, and I don't miss the disgusted way he says "priest." The fact that he hasn't been able to break the arrangement with them is a major source of frustration to him, and I can see it's beginning to take its toll. His face is lined with tension, and he looks exhausted all the time. His hair is a mess this morning from where he's been running his hands through it.

"Oh?" Raising my gaze from my porridge, I watch him from across the table, getting caught up in his expression. He's looking down at a report, his brow creasing with a frown, and I find I want to run my fingers through his hair, feel the silky strands as I brush it back into position. Scowling at the rogue thought, I shake my head slightly and sit up, trying to pay attention to what he's telling me.

"Prince Jacob has requested your company," he announces wryly, but there's a hint of bitterness in his voice. I assumed I would be Lady Clarissa today as I woke with the familiar feeling of magic clinging to me, and when I looked in the mirror, blonde hair greeted me before Jayne had dressed me in one of my finer gowns. Finally looking up at me, he meets my eyes before flicking them away. He's been doing that a lot recently, as if it hurts to look at me, and although I try to hide it, it distresses me when it happens.

"If it was anyone else, I would refuse, but he's the prince."

I wonder what the prince has planned. I'm looking forward to a day away from the priests, but Grayson's words bring my thoughts to a screeching halt. He would refuse ? There may have been a time when I would have allowed others to make decisions for me, but those days are over. Putting my spoon down, I sit back in my chair and stay silent until Grayson realises something's going on and looks over at me again.

"Can I not make my own decisions?"

He at least has the decency to wince and look apologetic when he realises his mistake, but I'm not going to let him off that easily. A thought comes to me suddenly as he starts trying to explain himself.

"Of course, but I'm just—"

"Has anyone else ‘requested my company' and you've declined on my behalf?" I should feel bad for interrupting him, for not letting him finish his explanation, but my temper gets the better of me. However, his silence and guilty expression soon takes away that feeling. "Grayson! If you want me to truly accept this life you've created for me, you have to let me actually live it!"

"I was jealous, okay?" he retorts suddenly, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, although I get the feeling his frustration is aimed at himself rather than me. If I wasn't already leaning back against the high-backed chair, I would be from his comment. Shock, disbelief, and a little bit of pleasant surprise runs through me as I try to come up with a response.

"What?" Not the most intelligent of responses, but my confusion is evident.

"I was jealous that he gets to spend time with you. One word from him, and you're excused from working with the priests, yet I can't convince them to let you go."

A small part of me is disappointed he's not jealous about the prince's personal feelings for me. He's only jealous that the prince has more power than him, that Jacob can get me out of my situation with the priests and he can't. Like I'm an obligation he can't fulfil.

Don't be daft. Why would he want to get into a romantic relationship with you? He's been your friend throughout, of course he's upset he can't help you, my inner voice chides and I realise it's right. I shouldn't be surprised, he's tried to help me from the start. That's the only reason he's jealous, because he's my friend and wants to protect me. I continue to try and convince myself of that as I eat my porridge, the awkward silence between us stretching.

A knock at the door saves me and I hear Jayne talking to our visitor before entering the dining room, a slight smile on her face as she looks at me.

"The prince is here to see you, Lady Clarissa," she tells me. I know she's using my title only because of his presence, but I have to smile slightly and shake my head at her antics.

"Thank you, Jayne." Pushing away from the table, I leave my half-eaten breakfast and look over at the magician who's watching me with a concerned frown. I'm still frustrated with him, but I can see why he did it. "I'll see you later."

He stands and strides to my side, grabbing my hand and stopping my exit. Turning, I look down and watch him brush his thumb over my Goddess mark, seemingly without even realising it. That tingling feeling fills my body as I feel his stare on me.

"Just be careful, I don't trust him. Please."

Glancing up, I see his worry and something within me clenches, wanting to make him feel better. Even if I could say no to the prince, I want to spend the day with him. I like Jacob, and although Grayson says I can't trust him, I get the opposite impression.

"I'll be careful, I promise." I give him a smile as I say this, the one I reserve for him. It's not guarded or forced like they are most of the time, and sure, it's not an unrestrained grin full of happiness, but it's one of trust. Grayson stares at me for a long time before returning my smile with one of his own and gesturing for me to go.

"Don't keep the prince waiting."

Rolling my eyes, I walk from the room, feeling his eyes on me as I go. The prince is waiting by the front door, looking handsome in his royal green jacket, a small circlet of gold resting on his blond hair. He smiles as he sees me, lighting up the whole room before dropping into a small bow. I quickly hurry into a curtsy and he chuckles, offering me his hand.

"Good morning, Lady Clarissa. You look beautiful today."

"Thank you."

The atmosphere in the room suddenly changes and Jacob stiffens, his grip on my hand tightening. Following his tense gaze, I see Grayson has trailed after me and is staring at the prince.

"You'll take care of her?"

I'm not sure what I expected him to say, but this wasn't it. Glancing between them, the prince nods, his expression serious.

"With my life."

Grayson seems to relax slightly, and after a quick glance at me he walks back into his chambers. Letting out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding, I glance up at the prince who is still staring where the magician had just been, a frown marring his features.

"Your Highness?"

My soft question pulls him out of his thoughts as he drops his attention to me, smiling again as he guides me from the rooms and into the corridor.

"What have I told you about calling me ‘Your Highness?'" he teases lightly with a smile, so I know he's not cross.

Entering the main corridor, we turn and immediately bump into someone. Letting out a surprised "oomph," I glance up and realise it's Tor. I haven't seen him since the ball other than fleeting glances, but now, up close, I remember just how big he is. Not only in height, but in build too. He towers over the prince and I. That strange feeling in my chest starts again and I get the sensation of familiarity. His eyes are locked onto me, his gaze so piercing I feel him stripping pieces of me away. When he looks at me like that I feel raw, exposed.

"Speaker Torsten, what are you doing in this part of the castle?"

When I jump slightly as he speaks, Jacob pulls me closer, as if to protect me from the mountain of a man before us. What I can't tell him is that it's not me who needs protecting. I don't know how I know this, but I do know he would never hurt me. The prince on the other hand…

"Just exploring, Your Highness," Tor replies facetiously, finally pulling his eyes from me as he sizes up the prince. Jacob is by no means small, but compared to Tor he looks like a boy. After a few silent, tense moments, the mountain man snorts and nods once to me. "Clarissa," he says in farewell, before stalking away.

Jacob lets out a deep breath before chuckling slightly, leading me away.

"Sorry about that. We have a bit of a tense relationship with the people from the mountains."

Explaining the obvious , I think to myself, but simply nod. This is my opportunity to learn more about these people. The king had been fairly unimpressed by them at the ball welcoming the crown prince home.

"Why are they here?"

"We are trying to form a treaty," the prince explains, and I raise my eyebrows. They hadn't seemed particularly friendly just then, and they want to form a treaty? "I know, things aren't great at the moment. We used to work together years ago, but everything fell apart about two decades ago, and this is the first time they have responded in any positive way. We could really use their help in this war. I've been talking with them. They are strong and fierce, having them at our side would help us win this."

He's passionate, and I realise it's probably only because of his pushing and determination that this meeting is even happening. As the third and youngest son, he will most likely never take the throne, and in his father's eyes his only use would be to marry him off to an influential family. From our conversations recently, I've learned he's really devoted to his people and forming alliances to help us, and he was the one to liaise with the mountain people.

Feeling my attention on him, he glances at me, a slight blush coating his cheeks as he looks away again quickly. "Anyway, I won't bore you with any more politics."

We continue to amble through the castle, with Jacob making small talk as we go, pointing out different things and telling me the history of them, or whispering stories of courtiers we pass. I can't help but think back to Tor and his interaction with the prince, how hostile he had been, but I push those thoughts away, focusing on the prince. Reaching the front of the castle, he takes me towards the huge, towering double doors and I realise he's taking me outside. Raising my eyebrows, I slow my steps slightly until he turns to me with a questioning look.

"Where are you taking me?"

He smiles then, gesturing for me to follow him through the doors. Taking a few timid steps, I walk through the large arched egress, stepping outside the castle for the first time as a free woman. I blink against the bright winter sunshine, and it takes me a few moments to register what I'm seeing—a large carriage, painted with the royal crest, and two gorgeous black horses attached at the front. Gasping, I walk straight past the prince and hurry down the steps to the horses, a genuine, happy smile stretching my face as I reach their sides.

I've always had an affinity with animals, they seem to like me, and as I coo both horses turn their heads to look at me, whickering in response. Smile still in place, I walk up to their heads, holding my hand out flat for them to sniff, and then raising it to stroke down their long faces. The horse on the right has a white star in the middle of his forehead and the longer hair around his hooves is also white, whereas the one on the left is fully black.

"Hello, you gorgeous creatures," I say quietly, continuing to stroke them, laughing at the one on the right who's pushing his head into my hand, getting jealous of my attention to his companion.

"So this is all I needed to do to see you smile."

Glancing up from my horse friends, I beam at the prince, shrugging my shoulders slightly. It's cold out here, seeing as it's still the middle of winter with snow lining the ground, our breath forming into clouds of mist. Thankfully, one of the stewards hurries forward with two thick, fur lined cloaks, a blue one for me and a green and gold one for Jacob.

"I've smiled at you before," I reply, as I pull the cloak around me, nuzzling my nose against the warm fabric, and then I immediately turn back to the horses.

"Not like this." The prince's voice makes me hesitate for a second before I continue stroking the stunning animals, whispering sweet words to them. "When you smiled before it was like…like you've had so much heartbreak that even smiling is painful. Whereas now, it's like the sun breaking through on a cloudy day."

My heart hammers in my chest. If the prince noticed, will other people? Is it just because he's been paying attention, or have I just not played my part well enough?

"We should go." The prince saves me from having to answer, and while I'm grateful for the excuse, and to get out of this cold, I will miss my newfound friends.

"Bye, gorgeous boys," I whisper, pressing a kiss to their noses before following the prince into the carriage.

Settling into the plushly furnished carriage, I arrange my skirts and smile at the prince who takes a seat opposite me.

"Are you going to tell me where you're taking me now?"

Laughing, he leans forward and takes one of my cold hands in his, rubbing it between his own before blowing on them to warm them up. It's a strangely intimate act and I find it's not the only part of me that starts to heat. Glancing up from my hands, he smiles slightly when he sees my now red cheeks. If anyone asks, I'll blame it on the cold winter wind, but the look he gives me tells me he knows exactly what effect his actions are having on me. Letting go of my hands, he sits back and gives me his bright smile.

"I'm taking you on a tour of my favourite places in Arhaven."

The next two hours are magical. I've never seen any of the city beyond the castle, so I don't have to hide my amazement as the carriage takes us through cobbled streets, the snow making everything look picturesque. There is a large pond in the centre of the city, and the city hall is built at one end with a large park behind it. I always expected the city to feel cold and barren, like the people, but I'm starting to learn that as a slave, I only saw the worst of society.

Jacob was polite, funny, and considerate the whole trip. At one point we stopped at a bakery where he bought us both sweet cakes. I'd never had anything like it, and as soon as I popped a small piece in my mouth, I couldn't stop my groan of pleasure and quickly inhaled the rest of it while Jacob laughed. He immediately gave me his untouched piece, stating he didn't really want it anyway, which earned him a small smile from me.

I'm actually disappointed when the sun starts to set and Jacob announces that we needed to return to the castle. On the carriage journey back, I can see the dark stone fortress coming into view. It's huge, a monstrosity of twisting towers with gargoyles peeking over their plinths down onto the people below. The closer we get, the darker my mood becomes, until the oppressive feeling fully settles over me again. I hadn't realised how much I hated it here until I was taken away and shown how different my life could have been.

Once we arrive back at the castle, Jacob jumps out of the carriage and offers me his hand to help me down. Giving him an absentminded smile, I accept his assistance, walking arm in arm back into the castle. It must only be about five o'clock but the corridors are uncharacteristically quiet. This is usually prime time for the court ladies to be gossiping in the halls before attending dinner. When he squeezes my arm slightly, I glance across at the prince, unable to stop my smile when I see the way he's looking at me. Like I'm his favourite person in the world.

"Will you be joining us in the banquet hall?"

Most ladies from the houses would kill for an invitation to dine at the royal table, but I simply shake my head.

"Thank you, but no. Grayson and I eat in his rooms."

It's true, but I also need to put some space between the two of us, take a breather. My feelings are all mixed up and tangled. Not to mention I don't want to be anywhere near his family, particularly the king or Rhydian. Jacob is quiet for a while, obviously thinking over his response, and when he does speak it's with a carefully blank expression.

"You and Grayson are…close. Is there anything going on between the two of you?"

My face immediately flushes red and I choke on my quick inhale at the unexpected question. We are just friends.

Then why are you blushing so much? Why is your stomach churning and your breath catching at the prospect of being more than friends? Ignoring my inner monologue, I take a step away from the prince, needing some distance so I can come up with a response. I can't think when he's touching me.

"I—Well. No. No, he's just a friend. He's helped me out of a very difficult situation, and he's very protective of me."

Another heavy pause fills the space and I feel his eyes on me, watching my every move. Taking a step forward, he closes the gap between us and takes my hand in his. Raising my head slowly, I see his soft smile.

"That gives me some hope then."

"What do you mean?" I'm confused, one moment he's asking me about Grayson and now he's talking about hope. His smile widens at my bewilderment as he raises his free hand up and pushes one of my unruly curls behind my ear. His touch makes my skin tingle, not in an unpleasant way, but in a way that makes me want more. Shifting his weight, he brings his face closer to mine and I realise he's going to kiss me.

"I—"

"Prince Jacob!" Jerking away, the prince spins around to face the person who called his name. I can't decide if I'm disappointed that he didn't kiss me or not, my mind spinning through different scenarios.

What about Grayson? What about your connection with Vaeril and Tor? Taking a deep breath, I push away those thoughts, guilt making me feel unwell. I'm not sure what I'm feeling guilty for, I didn't do anything, nothing happened. Heavy booted footsteps reach us, and I glance over at the uniformed guard who has obviously just run here, his breath coming in large, gasping pants.

"Yes?"

"Your Highness…you are needed…immediately. Your brother—"

Jacob's expression darkens at the mention of his brother and he nods at the guard. "I'll be right there."

The man nods and spins on the spot, running back the way he came. Frowning, I watch the whole episode with confusion, not quite understanding what's going on. Which brother needs Jacob, and why does he look so angry? He turns to me now, his expression changing to concern. Glancing around, he takes my hand and guides me over to one of the little alcoves before pulling me close to him, so close that I have to put my hand on his chest to stop myself from falling.

"Clarissa, something is happening, it's been building for a little while now." His eyes dart around the empty corridor as if someone is going to jump out at any moment, his voice low as he explains.

"What do you mean?" I repeat my question from earlier, although it has a whole different meaning now. The fun, flirty atmosphere from our afternoon together is gone, tension and a calculating expression appearing on his face that I've never seen on him before.

He opens his mouth to say something but closes it again, cursing. "I can't say much." He swears again, and a small burst of magic seems to emit from him. I want to ask what he's doing, he doesn't have magic—or so I thought. But I can't ask him because normal people can't feel magic. That's when it hits me, he can't tell me. He's being silenced by magic. Fear starts to creep through me. What is serious enough that a magical gag is placed over one of the princes?

"Things are about to happen, awful things. I hadn't realised it was going to be so soon, I had hoped…" The look he gives me is that of a young man full of faith, but that quickly shutters and he takes a small step away from me, putting distance between us. "Stay with Grayson, he should be able to protect you through this."

"What—"

A pained expression crosses his face before he shakes his head and starts to walk away. "I have to go, I'm sorry."

Moving away from the alcove, I watch as the prince storms away. Anyone who doesn't know him would think he was calm, but I can tell from the way he's walking, back stiff and a stride I don't usually see from him, that he's worried. The fact that he hasn't escorted me back to my rooms is a big indicator that something is wrong, and that concerns me. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it. My mark is almost humming.

I need to return to my rooms, another wave of tingling power from my mark assuring me that I'm right. Grabbing the front of my skirts, I start the journey back to Grayson's rooms, the corridors still eerily quiet as the winter sun sinks behind the horizon, leaving only the light from the lanterns illuminating my way. As I move, my mind wanders, all the horrible possibilities of what could happen swirling in my head. Are the elves going to attack?

A noise snaps me back to the present, my head immediately lifting and looking for the source of the sound. Frowning, I realise I'm by the Queen's Courtyard. This is not on my route back to Grayson's quarters, but somehow I've instinctively come here and the sense of assurance rolls over me again. For whatever reason, I'm supposed to be here.

I walk out from the corridor into the courtyard walkway, wrapping my arms around myself against the sudden change in temperature. It's dark out here, only the lights from inside the castle reflecting against the water from the now still fountains. A murmuring has me pausing and I realise it's someone talking. I start to walk away, I shouldn't be listening to other people's conversations when they obviously came here for privacy, but something stops me. A feeling, deep in my gut, and I know it's the Mother trying to tell me something, something I need to know.

"You risk too much." The rough, accented voice is familiar. Tor. What is he doing out here?

"I can't keep pretending, dear friend." The queen's whispered words reach me and my eyes widen as I raise my hand to my mouth to keep in any sound. Whatever the queen and Tor are discussing, they do not want to be overheard, otherwise they wouldn't be out here.

A sense of urgency runs through me, but it's not my own. The Mother is trying to tell me something. A tug in my chest makes me take a step toward the still open door to the castle corridor and I see a group of four guards marching our way. Panic floods my veins, something bad is about to happen.

"We can't risk—" I cut off whatever Tor was going to say by hurrying over to the fountain they are hiding behind.

"Guards are coming!"

The queen's eyes widen and I see the panic flash through her gaze before she nods and gives a pointed look at Tor. "Thank you, child." Turning, she hurries to a dark corner of the courtyard and seems to disappear. There must be some sort of secret entrance there and I vow that when I have time, I'll explore it further.

The sound of booted feet now fills the courtyard and I see the guards spreading out before thoroughly searching the area. I feel Tor's eyes boring into me, as if he can peel away my skin and see my thoughts and feelings.

"Freeze!" one of the guards shouts as he comes across us, with more guards swarming around us, hands on their weapons as if they mean to use them at any moment. "Captain, one of them is out here."

One of them? What is happening? My thoughts spin, I don't think they mean me, so they must be talking about Tor. Turning my confused expression to him, I see him frowning as he realises the seriousness of the situation. His hands drop to his sides, hovering near the decorated axe that hangs in a sheath at his waist.

"What is the meaning of this? I'm here on a diplomatic mission." His voice is authoritative, but given the tension of the moment, his tone is much calmer than I had expected. He eyes the guards as he moves forward and casually slides in front of me. The Captain of the Guard, in his smart green and gold uniform, steps forward, frowning as he scans the area around us, as if he was expecting to see someone else here. His attention returns to Tor, his scowl deepening as he glances over his shoulder and sees me.

"What are you doing out here? And why is Lady Clarissa with you?"

I'm surprised the Captain of the Guard knows who I am, but I guess he's seen me with the prince, so he's made it his business to know my name. I've always liked the current Captain of the Guard, he's never been overly cruel to any of the slaves unlike his predecessor. Once or twice when I was starving and I didn't think I'd make it through the night, I would find scraps of bread left next to where I was laying, and when I had the energy to lift my head I could just see his back as he walked away. So it's strange to see him now, and I have to hope he doesn't recognise me from before.

"The prince and I just returned from the city. He had to leave on important business, so I just came to clear my head before I returned to my rooms," I explain in a pretty voice, like I'm a young lady who's been thoroughly wooed by the prince. His gaze turns to me, his bright eyes examining me. His face is much more lined than the last time I saw him.

The guards continue to search the courtyard around us while the captain continues to flick his eyes between Tor and I.

"I was looking at the stars. I miss sleeping underneath them and I saw it would be a clear night, so I came out to view them," Tor reasons, and I can't fight the surprised noise that escapes me. He glances once over his shoulder before turning back to the captain. I know he was meeting the queen, but something about what he said rings true.

"Clear!" one of the unseen guards shouts, and there's a long pause before the captain nods.

"Go back to your rooms. When you get there, lock the door and don't come out until morning." He looks at me as he says this, so I know he's warning me, and it makes my stomach sink. If the Captain of the Guard is speaking something like this, then it's serious and not a caution I'm going to ignore. As I nod, he turns away and the guards begin to file out.

Tor and I stay silent as they go, and for even longer after that, until we are both sure we're completely alone. He turns to me, studying me, and even in the moonlight I can see his troubled expression.

"How much did you hear?"

"I only caught the end of your conversation," I reply honestly, and he nods as he spins to go, but he stops as something occurs to him.

"You saved us. Why?"

"It was the right thing to do." There's more to it than that, and he knows it, but now's not the time for that conversation.

"Do what the captain said, don't stray. The stars are telling me something bad is coming." And with that cryptic answer, he leaves faster than a man his size should be able to.

I don't dally, heading straight to Grayson's lodgings, Tor's words ringing in my ears. I don't understand anything he said. What do the stars have to do with anything? But his warning is eerily similar to that of the captain's and Jacob's.

Grayson isn't back when I reach his rooms and I end up having a quiet supper with Jayne. I keep glancing towards the door, waiting for him to appear at any moment, but he doesn't. Eventually, with lots of reassurance from Jayne, I get ready for bed, but the concern in her eyes as she tries to convince me he's okay bothers me. What is this "something" that everyone keeps saying is coming? Nightmares plague me. I dream of grabbing hands and eyes in the dark, waking up numerous times to pace the length of my room so I can try and settle myself. I eventually fall back into a fitful sleep in the early hours of the morning as the sun begins to rise.

Grayson doesn't return that night.