Chapter 28

Hope wouldn't let him walk away, not this time.

She flung open the door and almost ran into his back. "Please come inside so we can talk."

"Nothing to say." His gravelly voice hinted at a world of pain. Pain she'd caused. "I'm calling a taxi."

"You're more like your dad than you know," she said, reaching for the lowest blow in her arsenal to get him to stay. "You're a quitter. How many times does this make that you've walked away from me when things get tough?"

He spun around so fast she stumbled back and would've fallen if he hadn't steadied her. "I'm no fucking quitter."

"Prove it."

She tilted her head up, daring him to follow her back inside.

"Fuck," he muttered, releasing her so she could open the door wider.

"After you," she said, with exaggerated sweetness as he barged past her.

After she closed the door and studied his rigid shoulders from behind, she realised she'd never met a more infuriating man; and that's one of the things she loved about him. He challenged her. He infuriated her. He confounded her. But she couldn't let that derail her from what needed to be said.

He'd asked her to go away with him, to hit the road. And while her heart longed to take the plunge and see what that kind of an adventure could bring, she couldn't do it.

If it was in his DNA to run, it was in hers to prove her independence no matter what the cost.

"Logan, look at me." She approached him carefully and held out her hand, as if confronting a wary dog.

This time, when he turned to face her, she saw his anger had given way to hurt and bewilderment, like he couldn't fathom how she could turn him down.

Damn it, she had to make him understand this had nothing to do with him and everything to do with her insecurities.

"I want you too." Her hand dropped to her side. "I've been miserable without you." She gave a self-deprecating snort. "Heck, I couldn't even write a song without you around, that's how crazy I am about you. But I can't put all my faith in you and walk away from my dream, and that's what you're asking me to do."

A spark of hope flared in his eyes. "But you can write songs anywhere. Play in pubs and clubs. Get your work out there firsthand and—"

"Stop." She shook her head, hating that he had this all figured out in his head and she'd have to stomp on his dream in order to get hers. "This isn't just about me. I want to foster talent, get unknown artists the recognition they deserve, and to do that I have to be here, in Melbourne, in my new studio. Surely you can understand that?"

He seemed to deflate before her eyes, his shoulders slumping as he thrust his hands into his pockets. "I understand that your work is as important to you as mine is to me. But I have to be on the road. Quoting jobs takes me all over the country and my company would lose momentum if I was stuck in one place."

She understood what he was implying: that her business was a start-up and wouldn't suffer if she postponed. Or maybe she was being overly sensitive.

But Hope had been betrayed by too many people close to her before and what he was asking was too great. Logan may be nothing like Willem or Harry or her parents but she couldn't ignore her desires to sacrifice her dream for his.

Sensing she may be prevaricating, he took a step forward, broaching the distance between them. "This is a big deal for me, sweetheart. I've never lived with a woman let alone wanted to be with one for more than a short time. But I hate the thought of leaving you and we're so great together—"

"Ssh." She pressed her fingertips to his mouth. "You have no idea how tempted I am. But I can't throw away everything I've worked so hard for."

What she really meant was ‘even now, when I know I love you, I can't fully trust my judgement and in turn, you.'

But she didn't say it. Instead, she lowered her hand. "Why don't we trial long distance for a while? See how that goes?"

His lips compressed in a mutinous line and he shook his head. "It never works."

His gaze darted away, evasive, and she knew right then her dream of him giving her time to trust, time to develop their connection, was just that, a fanciful dream.

"I finally understand why my dad left us and my mum had demons that had nothing to do with him, but I won't put myself in a similar situation of you sitting around, waiting for me to show up in Melbourne whenever it's convenient."

His tortured gaze finally met hers. "You deserve so much more than that."

She wanted to rant at the injustice of this. She'd finally been willing to open herself up to trust a guy and he couldn't compromise. She loved him. He loved her enough to want her with him all the time. Yet they couldn't make it work.

Fuck trust and relationships and this incredible man who'd made her fall in love with him without trying.

"I understand," she said, sadness making her voice quiver at their stupid impasse.

He wanted her with him.

She had to stay.

And she hoped she wouldn't regret this decision for the rest of her life.

"So that's it, then?" He removed his hands from his pockets and reached for her.

She let him haul her into his arms so she could rest her cheek against his chest. His heart thudded beneath her ear, strong and steady, just like Logan, a reminder of what she was giving up by sticking to her principles. By holding on to a deep-seated fear, she could ruin any chance she ever had at lasting happiness.

"You're so special to me," she murmured, wrapping her arms around his waist and hanging on tight. "I wish I could be with you."

"I wish for that too, babe," he said, burying his face in her hair.

Hope had no idea how long they clung to each other, silently wishing for things that could never be.

But this time, when he released her and headed for the door, she didn't stop him.