Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

M arianne had started so well when she'd decided to complete at least some of Claudia's list. Within days she'd crossed off three items: Get Drunk. Learn Naughty Words. Be Unchaperoned with a Man.

Well, she wasn't entirely certain she could count the last one. After all, though they had been alone together in the very parlor where she now stood, Sebastian wasn't interested in her. He liked to tease and play, but that meant nothing to him. Whatever she had thought was happening the afternoon they'd shared discussing slang together, there couldn't have truly been heat between them. He could have anyone he wanted. She was likely seen as almost sexless to him.

She sighed and looked out the window where rain streaked down the pane and almost obliterated her view of the soggy park across the lane. In the week since that day, she had not made any progress on the list. She could practically feel herself fading back into the wallpaper like the ghost she feared she'd someday be.

At least she would be forced to get out into the world today. Finn was taking her to an afternoon tea at Lord and Lady Nettlebaum's. Their daughter, Arabella, had come out that year and they seemed to be making a concerted effort to ensure the young lady didn't end up in the same position Marianne was.

Briefly she wondered if that was why she was invited: as a warning. She sighed. It wouldn't be the first time someone had used Marianne's unmarried status to frighten their innocent debutante. Which was all the more reason to rededicate herself to the list as much as she could.

"Lord Delacourt, my lady," Adams intoned, and then stepped away so that Finn could enter the parlor.

She forced a smile as she crossed to him. He'd been frowning as he entered the room, but his face softened as she leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Good day, Finn," she said.

"Mari. That is a pretty color on you."

"Thank you." She examined his face a little closer. His expression was always hard—even as a boy he'd been very serious and difficult to read. When one managed to coax a smile from him, it felt all the better. "Are you well?" she asked.

"Of course," he said quickly. "Come, why don't we call for the carriage? I think we'll be just fashionably late to this affair if we start now."

"Oh yes, if you're fashionably late you'll make even more of a splash," she teased him gently.

He took her arm and they headed to where the carriage was already waiting. It seemed Finn had arranged it even before he joined her. She said a brief farewell to Adams and then let Finn help her into the carriage. Once she had settled into place and they'd begun to move, her brother speared her with a glance.

"Why would I want to make a splash?" he asked.

She laughed. "I'm certain you've been invited as a potential suitor for Lady Arabella," she said. "And you'll be the envy of all the men when you come in looking so handsome. Oh, but let me fix your cravat."

He leaned forward and allowed her to straighten him, but his frown deepened. "If Lady Arabella thinks I've any interest in her, she will be well disappointed. She's practically a child. I could not think of her any more than I'd think of a kitten."

She shook her head. "You'll have to marry at some point, Phineas."

She expected him to tease back, but his eyes narrowed and he sat back on the seat with a scowl. "I know that full-well, Marianne. I don't need advice on that score from you."

She flinched a little at the harshness of his statement. Finn never commented negatively on her status in life. Years ago he'd even given up encouraging her to seek suitors. He supported her and that was all, which made the comment all the sharper.

She cleared her throat slightly and decided to change the subject since this one made him so cross. "What did you do this morning before you came to collect me?"

His gaze flitted to her from the window and she could see his guilt at his previous words. He sighed. "It was a busy morning, in truth. I saw my solicitor about the Yorkshire estate."

"Oh, how was Mr. Richards? Is his wife recovered from her illness this past winter?"

His expression softened. "Always so kind, my dearest Marianne. Indeed, she's well. She's in London, in fact."

"Is she seeing the specialist you recommended?"

He nodded. "Yes, and before you ask, I'm paying the bill, just as you thought I should. I'm sure you could call on her and it would make her very happy. And after that, I went to my boxing club."

Marianne sat up a little straighter. Find Out What Boxing is All About was on Claudia's list and it brought Marianne right back to her duties in regards to the list.

"Oh," she said. "You know I've always been interested in that."

His brow wrinkled. "In what?"

She blushed a little at his entirely lost tone. "Boxing, silly. It seems a fascinating thing."

His jaw set a little. "It's a violent thing, Marianne. Not fit for a lady."

"Is it not?" she pressed. "I thought I had heard told of female boxing clubs in the city."

"There are those women who partake," he said slowly. "But they aren't…they aren't like you Marianne."

Now she drew back. After his earlier snide comment, she wasn't sure of his tone now. "What does that mean?"

He let out his breath in a long, put-upon sigh. "I've been going to my boxing club for years without you paying any mind to it. So why is this coming up now?"

That was an excellent question and one she had no intention of answering truthfully. So she had to invent a lie that would make sense. "I…I only thought that perhaps I need to know how to protect myself."

"From what?" he asked with a shake of his head. "Forgive me, but you aren't exactly running around London."

She folded her arms as her ire at his dismissiveness began to rise. "You think I couldn't. Or that no one would ever think of me beyond a boring spinster who wouldn't be worth troubling?"

As she said it, the words hit her and she felt like a balloon that had been deflated. It must have reflected on her face, for Finn reached across the carriage and touched her gloved hand briefly. "You aren't that."

She blinked at the sting of tears. "Of course I am," she said softly. "I'm sorry. I was just being silly asking you such things."

Finn opened his mouth like he wanted to say more, but the carriage slowed to a stop then and the doors were opened by the Nettlebaum staff. Marianne exited the vehicle first and Finn followed. He guided her to the door and through the greetings of their hosts, but he seemed distracted as he did. And once they entered the large parlor where the tea would be held, he gave her a small bow. "Forgive me, Marianne, I must excuse myself."

He left her without waiting for her response and she stood staring after him, certain of her own reactions in the carriage, but confused about his. It seemed they each had their own secrets.

"Marianne."

She jumped at the sound of Sebastian's voice coming from just at her elbow. She turned to face him and covered her heart with her hand. "Gracious, you frightened me."

"Yes, you were very focused, brooding off into the distance," he teased. "I thought that was the purview of men."

"Hmmm, it seems a great deal is that," she said. "I'm surprised to see you here. I know you would be considered a catch by those like the Nettlebaums, but I cannot imagine you'd want to be caught by Arabella of all people."

He pulled a face. "She's comely enough, but no. Not a brain in her head, it seems. I danced with her a fortnight ago at a ball and all she talked about was bonnets. The fashions of bonnets. She's an expert on the subject and seemed to have no interest in any other I tried to press her on."

"Oh dear," Marianne said. "I'm guessing Arabella intends to get by on her looks and not her wit. Though she has a better chance using those tactics than I do talking endlessly about rise of the priestesses in the Roman empire or the latest book from Mr. Mattigan's shop. So perhaps she has the better of it."

"I'd much rather talk to you about priestesses," Sebastian said with a smile that felt far more real than the one she'd received from him last week. She was glad of it. When she hadn't seen him for so many days, she feared she'd spoiled their friendship with her forward desires for his help.

"You are the only one then," she said with a laugh.

He tilted his head and explored her face closer. "Is something wrong, Marianne?"

She blinked at him. She didn't feel like her upset was plain on her face, but somehow he could see it. She worried her lip slightly. "No. Yes. No."

"That's very confusing. Which one is it?" His tone was suddenly gentle.

She sighed. "I just had a bothersome conversation with Finn on the way here."

"About what?" Sebastian pressed even as she saw him scanning the crowd for her brother. Of course he would. He might not have known Finn would be here and he'd obviously want to go spend time with him over her.

"I suppose I cannot shock you any more than I already have in the last week or two," she said. "He mentioned he was at his boxing club today and I said I was interested in learning more." She swallowed because Sebastian had jerked his attention back to her and was now staring. "For my own protection, you see."

"You want to box ." He opened and shut his mouth after he said it, as if he couldn't fully process what they were discussing. It seemed this conversation was going to be as humiliating as hers with her brother had been.

"You needn't bother telling me I'm too boring or plain or uninteresting to learn. Finn already told me that. And that the kind of woman who does do such a thing isn't anything like me. I can see you think me as foolish as he did." She pivoted to flee so she wouldn't have to see his pity. "I'll leave you to go find him and laugh at me together."

Before she could go, he caught her arm and turned her back gently. Immediately he released her and raised his hand to his chest almost like he'd been burned by the action. He cleared his throat. "No, I would say none of that. I'm taken aback, I admit, but I actually think ladies should know some basics when it comes to boxing. Men cannot be trusted on the whole and a well-placed punch can mean the difference between a fright and a horror."

"That's what I tried to say to him," she said.

"But he denied you," Sebastian said with a shake of his head.

She nodded. "He did. Strenuously."

"He's protective."

It wasn't a question, but a statement. Of course, Sebastian would know. She sighed. "I have no idea why. He thinks me dull and predictable, without enough spark to actually get myself in trouble."

Sebastian stared at her a beat, then two, long enough that she felt heat flood her cheeks. Then he said, "I could teach you."

Her lips parted in shock and she stared at him. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I have a small practice ring in my home. If you came, I could show you some basics. For your own good."

She moved closer to him and could hardly contain her wonder and excitement. Once again this man offered to ride to her rescue, guiding her through her list without even knowing he was doing so. "You would do that? Even though my brother obviously disapproves."

That made him flinch and for a moment his gaze darted away. Then it returned and there was a hint of the heat she'd seen in him the previous week in her parlor. The heat she'd told herself she imagined and yet was there.

"He doesn't have to know, does he?" he asked.

There was something so wicked about that question. But she found herself nodding regardless. "Very well. When should I come?"

"Tomorrow afternoon?" he suggestion. "One o'clock if you can escape all chaperones."

"Easily," she said. "Boring and predictable, remember?"

"Not recently," he muttered, and then he bowed to her slightly. "I look forward to it. Now I should go mingle and try to avoid Lady Arabella and her mother as they set snares for the eligible gentlemen."

"Thank you," she said softly as he walked away, watching until he disappeared entirely into the little groups gathered around talking and sizing each other up.

There was a flutter in her chest as she made her way to the wall where she could have a moment's peace. It was excitement that she would yet again be able to cross something off her list. And nervousness that it would be Sebastian who helped her do so. But it was right, wasn't it? After all, aside from her own brother, he was the man she knew she could trust most in her life. The one who had no ulterior motives when it came to her.

Even if, in her deepest, hidden heart, she sometimes wished he did.