Chapter 3

Lilah sighed and strolled through Hyde Park. She should have a chaperone, but as her reputation was already ruined, she’d give up on anything resembling propriety. Why should she present herself as innocent to the world when they’d already decided she was anything but? Spinsterhood was her future. She wouldn’t ever marry. She’d never know what it was like to be a mother. That arse had destroyed any possibility of her having more from life. So, she was determined to take what she could and the rest of society be damned.

So she was walking in Hyde Park. Alone. Contemplating her future and what her father expected from her. She had made one concession to her whim. She’d gone after the fashionable hour. It was unlikely anyone would even cross paths with her. Anyone that cared to be seen had already been seen and gone home. She was truly alone, for the most part. There might be a few others in the park, but no one that would bother her.

She sighed as she strolled through the park. The sun was still bright, but she wouldn’t be able to remain in the park much longer. Lilah didn’t wish to walk home in the dark. Even a ruined lady had to take certain precautions to ensure her safety, and Lilah had no desire to be accosted. But this time alone. She needed it. To just breathe and remind herself that she would be all right. Even though she had no prospects and nothing would change. Lilah would be all right. Somehow, she would find a way through it all and to something that resembled happiness. Somehow…

One of her favorite places to walk in Hyde Park was along the Serpentine. The lake was somehow soothing to her. She headed in that direction now. It took nearly an hour to walk the path she preferred. But she didn’t have that much time to spare now. Lilah could stroll along part of it before she would have to turn back.

As she approached the lake, she noticed someone else near the shoreline. She stopped short and considered her options. Lilah didn’t know who it could be, but it was a man. There were two options left for her. She could continue on past the man or turn back and return home. He didn’t seem to have noticed her, and that could be to her benefit.

After a couple of moments of contemplation, she decided to keep moving. Her favorite spot was not that much farther. There was a nice tree there she liked to sit under, and she wanted some time there before she returned home. Hopefully, no one knew she had gone out, so she did not get lectured upon her return.

Lilah reached her favorite spot and leaned against the tree. She stared out at the lake and wondered how her life had come to this. She closed her eyes and just did her best to absorb the peace that surrounded her. A part of her wanted to give into the tears that threatened to fall. She had been on the verge of crying for days now. But she refused to give into that need. There were things she needed to do and tears would not aid her in that quest. Tears were useless and served no purpose. She would be stronger than that. She would not cry. Ever. Not because of what that man had done.

“Are you considering taking a swim?”

She gasped and turned to face the man she had passed earlier. Lilah hadn’t given him a lot of thought, and she certainly hadn’t stopped to get a good look at him. She really wished she had now. “It would be far more pleasurable to help you into the water and watch you flail about.”

He lifted a brow. “While I can understand how that might be entertaining,” he drawled. “But pray tell. Why would you want me to take a dip in the lake?”

The scoundrel didn’t even know who she was, or could it be just that he didn’t remember how he had ruined her? “Well, my lord,” she said in a sarcastic tone. “How many ladies do you think take it kindly to have their good name ruined by carelessly making false claims regarding them?” She lifted a brow. “Or do you callously do that so often that it is commonplace for you?”

He stopped and stared at her. Viscount Harcrest was a gorgeous man. She would give the arse that much. The viscount had golden blond hair a little on the long side. It looked disheveled, as if he had run his hands through it often. His blue eyes were clear, and that surprised her. The last time she’d crossed paths with him, they’d been glazed from inebriation. “Lady Lilah Stephens, I presume?”

“You don’t know?” She glared at him in frustration. “I supposedly attempted to rip the very clothing off your person and you don’t even know who I am?” She’d laugh it wasn’t so damned absurd.

“I don’t recall doing that.” He took a step closer.

“That’s far enough,” she said as she held up her hand. “I do not wish you to be anywhere near me. Lest you make other unsubstantiated claims.”

He sighed. “I won’t come closer, but we should discuss this.”

“Should we?” The gall of this man. “And why, pray tell, should we have any sort of discussion?” She clenched her hands into fists. All she had wanted was some peace to relax. Now here was the bane of her existence bothering her. Maybe she should push him into the lake. It might make her feel a little better.

“I don’t know what happened or why…” He frowned. “I don’t even remember meeting you. But if I said some things…”

“If?” She nearly shouted the word at him. “Are you actually trying to say you didn’t gloat before a bevy of guests, at a ball, that I tried to molest you?” He was just so... so… ugh.

“I suppose there are enough witnesses to make me believe that I did,” he admitted.

Lilah really disliked him. “How kind of you to allow that concession.” She took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. This was not helping her find any sort of peace. She had to make him go away. No. She’d leave. Lilah needed to return home as soon as possible.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Lady Lilah,” he said her name as if she was the one that had wronged him. “I wish I could recall what I’d done. I don’t. I cannot change it.”

“Forgive me if I doubt your sincerity,” she told him. “Did you even consider telling the truth?”

“I would,” he began. “But I don’t know the truth.” His lips tilted upward into a half smile. Almost as if he was attempting to charm her. “It wouldn’t help to try to tell a different story now. No one would believe me.”

“And yet they were willing to believe your previous lies.” Wasn’t that just…grand.

“Were they lies?” he asked. “What did happen that night?”

She turned around and glared at him. Lilah moved toward the reprobate, intending to do him some sort of physical harm. He backed away as she approached. He must have finally grown some sense. Lilah glanced up and down at his full frame. “Why would I ever want to touch you?” She met his gaze and let him see the contempt she held for him. “You may have been attractive once.” She sneered. “But your wastrel habits have made you appear more wane than healthy.” She snapped her fingers. “Oh, I get it. I must want to marry you for your title and connections.”

“There is always that,” he allowed. “That would be enough for many ladies.”

Lilah laughed. Could this get any more ridiculous? “Darling,” she said in a contemptuous voice. “There is not a gentleman in existence I want less than you, and that was before you ruined me and took away every single choice I had.”

“And I’m to believe that.” He arched a brow. “Why should I?”

“Here’s what you should believe,” she began. “I have nothing to lose. I have no reason to tell falsehoods. I never did.” Lilah did something she hadn’t thought she would do. “I was a wallflower. No one noticed me before. Now I’mthe notorious wallflower everyone talks about. I can be as brazen as I wish and no one will question it. They’ll take one look at me and dismiss me. Always. I’m completely ruined and you’re at fault. You can accept that or not. I cannot find it in myself to care either way.”

“But you can find the time to hate me,” he asked softly.

“Of course,” she retorted. “That goes without saying. I would like to say that I am a better person and hating anyone is beneath me. But that would be a lie. I don’t like to lie. It complicates life when we already have too much to contend with.”

“So, you never lie?” He laughed. “Somehow I doubt that.”

She grinned. “I never said I don’t lie. I said I don’t like lying. There are occasions when it is necessary. But I do try to limit any falsehoods I utter. It’s more for me than anyone else.”

He nodded. “At least you’re honest about that.”

“I’m honest in most things,” she said. That was the truth. She did attempt to keep lies to a minimum. The only thing she wasn’t telling him was about her plan to ruin his life. She couldn’t very well be honest about that. “Now I think I am quite done with this unnecessary conversation. It has solved nothing and only served to make me hate you more.”

“And I’ve learned little about you,” he told her. “I’d like to know more.”

“That, my lord,” she said emphatically. “Will not happen.” She shuddered at the very thought of being close enough to that man for him to truly know her. She didn’t nothing to do with him. “We are not friends. We never were and we never will be.”

“I think you’re wrong,” he said. He grinned as if he believed that nonsense. “We could be if you gave me a chance.”

“Careful, my lord,” she deadpanned. “Your arrogance is showing.” Lilah shook her head. “We may occasionally cross paths in the future. Your inconsiderate actions have ensured that I’ll never fully be accepted again. If I had the choice, I’d much rather never see you again.” She blew out a breath. “Why don’t we agree to attempt something resembling civility? It’s all I can offer.”

“I suppose that is acceptable.” He frowned. Lord Harcrest almost seemed contrite. Would he have done it differently if he could have? She had her doubts. The viscount was an incurable reprobate. She almost felt sorry for the woman they intended to marry him off to. Almost. The lady they had selected was as awful as the viscount. “If I could change it, I would.”

“But you cannot,” she said. “Now I am going to return home.”

“I can escort you…” He took a step toward her and she retreated.

“Absolutely not,” she said. “The last thing I need is more rumors about the two of us for the gossipmongers to circle about. Good day, my lord.”

Lilah left him alone at the lake and headed toward home. She didn’t know what that conversation had solved. She still hated him. The plan would still move forward. But perhaps he wouldn’t suspect her of being one of the ones enacting the revenge. She grinned as she walked. That could only be good.

It didn’t take her long to reach her home. When she got there, she went inside and up to her bedchamber. She should at least tell Cora about her meeting with the viscount, but she wanted to examine it all in privacy. Later she would tell all of the wallflowers. It was information that perhaps they all could use.