Chapter 22

TWENTY-TWO

Diana opened her eyes to the golden light of the setting sun. She was still in Emily’s bed, still naked, although now there was a warm blanket over her…and a warm woman pressed against her. Emily gave her a lazy smile, eyes half-lidded as if she’d had a nap too.

“Sorry for conking out on you,” Diana murmured, semi-embarrassed for falling asleep.

“Absolutely no apology needed,” Emily said, sliding closer to give Diana a gentle kiss. “We did some hard-core exercise earlier, and the nap was great.”

“It was,” Diana agreed. She felt calmer than she had in months. Part of that was due to her new medication and a newly hired manager who’d taken a lot of the daily workload off her, but Emily had helped too…both with orgasms and with comfort.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Emily said.

As if it heard Emily’s words, Diana’s stomach let out a loud rumble of agreement that made them both laugh. “Do you have food here, or should we go out?”

“I definitely want to go out with you sometime,” Emily said. “But tonight, I’d rather stay in if that’s okay? I want to enjoy this perfect evening, just the two of us.”

“There’s nothing I’d love more.”

First, they stepped into a quick shower together, rinsing off sweat and sex. Emily lent Diana flannel pajama pants and a blue hoodie before dressing in similarly cozy clothes, in deference to the cool October evening.

While Diana opened a bottle of wine, Emily pulled a bag of shrimp out of the freezer and put it in a bowl of cold water to thaw. “Shrimp fra diavolo?” she asked. “It’s basically shrimp in a spicy marinara sauce over spaghetti the way I make it. An easy but tasty dish I like to fix when I have unexpected company for dinner.”

“Sounds delicious,” Diana said as she looked around for a corkscrew. “Do you often have unexpected company for dinner?”

“Yeah, but it’s usually Alex or someone else from the adventure group.”

“Have you two known each other a long time?” Diana asked.

“Since kindergarten,” Emily told her. “We were both born and raised here in Crescent Falls. We went to college together too, although we didn’t end up as roommates.”

“That’s surprising.” Diana twisted the corkscrew and popped the cork, then moved to grab two glasses.

“She roomed with Margo, who you met at the fall festival. Margo’s family moved here our senior year of high school, and they became inseparable pretty quickly. At the time, I was annoyed. I felt a little left out, but that was just me being an immature teenager.” She shrugged.

“Were they together?” Diana asked.

“Nope. Just friends. Really close friends.” Emily paused with a box of pasta in her hands. “I did wonder at first. I think Margo wanted to be more than friends, but if she did, Alex never noticed or felt the same. Margo moved away after college, and that was the end of it.”

“How long has Alex been with Frankie?”

“They’ve been on again off again for years.” Emily frowned as she emptied the box of pasta into the pot. “Sometimes, I wish they’d end it for good, and I know that sounds horrible of me, but I don’t like the way Frankie treats her. She tends to put her own interests first.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Alex has a degree in culinary arts. She’s dreamed of being a chef for as long as I can remember, and she’s just working in Frankie’s shop, selling soaps and wind chimes.”

“Speaking of jobs.” Diana handed Emily a glass of wine. Now that the urgency between them had calmed, she wanted to follow up on the conversation they’d had in her office. “Did you mean to quit yours today or was that a spur-of-the-moment thing?”

Emily flinched. “One-hundred-percent impulsive.”

Diana sat on one of the stools at the kitchen island and sipped her wine. “You can take it back if you want. Technically, now that Paige is managing the inn, you should give your notice to her anyway.”

“I don’t want to take it back. I was thinking about what you said, about not letting fear hold me back. I’ve always wanted to be a full-time artist, but I’ve never really pushed myself because I have that income from the inn to help pay the bills. And I love the inn, but it’s not as special without my grandmas there. You’re leaving soon too, and then I’ll just be a woman in her midthirties working an entry-level job instead of doing what I love.”

Impulsively, Diana leaned across the counter and kissed her. “Not at all what I had in mind when I encouraged you to fuck fear this morning, but I’m so glad you’re doing this.”

“What were you thinking?” Emily asked, twirling one of the drawstrings on Diana’s borrowed hoodie between her fingers. “Were you hoping I’d kiss you?”

Diana smiled, shaking her head. “Believe it or not, I was just thinking about you making it to the top of the mountain. But it’s all tied together, isn’t it? You’ve been afraid to take risks, both with your career and in your personal life.”

“Yeah, so…we’ll see how it all works out.” Doubt flickered in Emily’s eyes, as if she was already regretting her afternoon of impulsive decisions.

Diana hoped she wasn’t one of Emily’s regrets. Sooner or later, they’d have to talk about what this meant. They’d already had a one-night stand. This was different, at least for Diana. She so rarely dated that she wasn’t sure of the rules. All she knew was that she hadn’t been able to get Emily out of her head for months, and now she wanted to hold on to whatever this was with both hands, even if it meant a long-distance relationship.

They sipped wine, and Diana helped her with dinner, which they brought out to the little table on Emily’s back porch, where Jack fluttered around them while they ate. After dinner, they snuggled together on the love seat, a warm blanket wrapped around them as they listened to the chorus of crickets and other insects outside. It was fully dark now, and Diana was so comfortable, so relaxed, she never wanted to leave.

“Stay here tonight?” Emily asked.

“Yes,” she answered immediately, because she’d like nothing more than to sleep beside Emily tonight. “But…Carter.”

Emily gave her an amused look. “What about him? ”

Diana scrubbed a hand over her face. She’d lived alone since college, and consequently, she was completely unaccustomed to having anyone notice or care where she spent her nights. “If I text him that I’m staying here tonight, well…he’ll know .”

Emily frowned. “Did you not want people to know? I mean, we didn’t really talk about it yet, but I guess I was hoping?—”

“I’m hoping too.” Diana squeezed her hand. “I don’t care if people know we’re together—if we are together, which we obviously need to discuss—but telling him I’m spending the night here feels like telling him I’m having sex, and he’s my nephew, and…ugh, that’s so awkward. How do parents handle something like this?”

Emily was laughing now. “Don’t ask me. By the time I was old enough to know what sex was, I was being raised by my happily married grandmothers. But Carter’s an adult, and he’s not your son, so I think you need to just suck it up and tell him where you are.”

“I guess.” Reluctantly, she left the warm cocoon of Emily’s blanket and went in search of her phone. She found her purse tossed haphazardly on the couch, where she’d left it when she arrived earlier. Her phone had spilled out onto the cushion, and when she tapped the screen, she found a string of unread texts from Carter.

CARTER DEVLIN

Picking up a pizza. Want some?

Pizza’s here, where r u?

Hello?

Srsly where r u ?

“Fuck,” she mumbled as she brought her phone to the back porch.

“Everything okay?” Emily asked.

“Carter’s been texting me for an hour. I think he’s worried.” And she felt like an asshole.

“It’s fine. You’re both adults. Just text him now.”

Sorry. I came to Emily’s for dinner and forgot to check my phone.

I’m staying here tonight. See you tomorrow!

There. She’d done it, although she still felt somewhat mortified about what might be going through her nephew’s head right now. She’d be perfectly happy for him to never think about her having sex.

The phone buzzed in her hand, and when she looked, he had texted back a thumbs-up emoji. Emily looked over her shoulder and laughed when she saw his response. She brushed a strand of hair from Diana’s face, and her expression sobered.

“To answer your earlier question: are we together? I think yes, but…casually, I guess, since you’re leaving so soon.” Emily turned to look into the darkness beyond the screen.

“Casual is a good place to start,” Diana agreed. She didn’t have experience with anything else, but her priorities had shifted over the last few months. She was taking her own advice and going after what she wanted, even the things that scared her. “But Boston isn’t that far away, so it doesn’t put a definitive end to things when I leave either.”

Emily turned to face her, eyes wide. “What are you saying? ”

“I’m saying I’m open to a long-distance relationship. Let’s enjoy ourselves for the next few weeks, and when it’s time for me to leave, let’s see where we are and what we want to happen next.”

Diana walked into her rental cabin the next morning feeling a bit like a teenager who’d missed curfew. She couldn’t even remember the last time there’d been someone living with her to notice she’d been out all night, and it brought a surge of discomfort that quickly morphed into impatience for Carter to get his own place. She’d hoped she could sneak into her bedroom to shower and change before she saw him, but he was seated at the kitchen table when she walked in, mug of coffee in one hand, cell phone in the other.

He looked up and grinned. “So, you and Emily, huh?”

“Yes.” She dropped her purse on the counter.

“That’s cool.”

To her extreme annoyance, she could feel herself blushing. “Thank you.”

Before her embarrassment worsened, she excused herself to shower. As she stood under the hot spray, her mind wandered to last night. She’d slept so peacefully, even without her white noise app to play city sounds. Truthfully, she’d adjusted to life in Vermont more than she’d expected. She liked it here, but she could never see herself living here permanently.

Visiting on the weekends to see Emily? That felt much more plausible. And maybe Emily could visit her in Boston too. Maybe she’d like to paint the harbor and the skyline. It sounded pretty perfect to Diana’s newly smitten brain .

With Paige managing the inn, Diana spent the morning at her cabin putting together a presentation package for the hotel in Maryland that she was interested in. She hoped to schedule a visit to see it in person soon. After that, she had properties in North Carolina and Maine to look at. She was sticking to the East Coast for now, but her five-year plan involved expanding nationwide.

“Are you coming to trivia tonight, then?” Carter asked as she packed up to head to the inn after lunch. He’d gone to the local pub with the adventure group every Thursday that he’d been in town. Diana was always invited too, but she always declined. Tonight, though…

“Yeah, I suppose I could come.”

And that was how she found herself in the passenger seat of Emily’s car that evening on her way to Maude’s Tavern, her skin prickling with anxious energy. She wanted Emily’s friends to like her, wanted to move past the awkwardness she felt when she’d been around them previously.

Emily pulled into the lot behind the tavern and parked. “What’s that?” She gestured toward Diana’s lap.

Diana tensed. She hadn’t realized she was using her calming strip until that moment, but she knew immediately what had captured Emily’s attention.

“Is it a sensory thing?” Emily asked, sounding curious.

“It’s nothing.” Diana shoved it into her purse. Her skin felt too tight, and she was already reaching for the door handle, desperate to escape the close confines of the car.

Emily touched her shoulder gently. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

Diana froze. What was she doing? She was trying to be more open, trying not to carry on her parents’ bad habits. She was trying to have a real relationship with Emily, and that involved sharing things with her, even when it was hard. Diana blew out a long, slow breath. “You didn’t pry. I shouldn’t have gotten defensive.” Another breath, then she pulled her keys out of her purse and handed them to Emily. “It’s a calming strip.”

“Oh cool. I’ve seen ads for these. Do you like it?” Emily ran her thumb experimentally over the strip and smiled.

“I do. It helps with my anxiety.”

“Really?” Emily looked at her in surprise. “You don’t strike me as an anxious person.”

Diana took another slow breath, pushing down the instinct to deflect, to change the subject, to get out of the damn car. “That’s because I’ve learned to hide it well.”

Emily reached for her hand, eyes wide and earnest. “What do you mean?”

“I’m very driven, as you’ve probably noticed.” She managed a small laugh. “Very ambitious, always focused on success, but that drive also makes me a bit high-strung. I think I’ve been anxious since I was a child. Sometimes, I’m able to manage it on my own with tools like the calming strip, but sometimes I need extra help from my therapist and even medication.”

“Diana, I had no idea.” Her fingers squeezed Diana’s.

“That was kind of the point.” She laughed again, aware it sounded strained. “These things aren’t talked about in my family, so it’s something I’ve always kept to myself.”

Then Emily’s arms were around her. Diana buried her face in Emily’s hair and inhaled the apple-cinnamon scent of her shampoo, in the process finding another tool that helped calm her: Emily’s embrace. Emily’s hair had smelled citrusy back in June. If she changed her scent to suit the season, well, that was just one more thing Diana lov—liked about her .

“Thank you so much for telling me,” Emily murmured, squeezing her tight. “If there’s anything I can do to help or if something I do is bad for your anxiety or anything like that, please tell me. I want to be here for you.”

“Thank you.” Diana held on for dear life, but she was breathing easier now. “I didn’t realize until after I left Devlin Hotels how rigidly I’d been forcing myself into their mold, trying to do what it took to become CEO. With Aster, I want to make time for a personal life, and…I’m trying to be more open about the things I’ve always kept hidden, like my mental health.”

“I’m so freaking proud of you,” Emily whispered. “You have all these layers I didn’t know about, and every time I uncover one, I just like you more.”

“You like me more because of my anxiety?” Diana heard the skepticism in her tone.

“I like you more because you’re human . We all have things we struggle with, and I can see that it was really hard for you to open up about this. It means a lot that you shared something so personal with me.”

“I’m trying to open up more…especially with you.”

Emily kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

Diana closed her eyes. “Full disclosure: I’m back on meds now. Leaving Devlin, starting Aster, all this uncertainty…it really did a number on me.”

“I did notice you looked tired. I’m sorry I wasn’t more supportive.”

“You were fine. I was the one clamming up every time I felt uncomfortable.”

Emily pulled back enough to meet Diana’s eyes. “Looking back, knowing what I know about you now, of course it was stressful. Leaving your family’s company…that was huge, and probably very scary. ”

“Terrifying,” Diana admitted.

“But you did it anyway. Living up to your own motto, right?” Her gaze fell to the calming strip in Diana’s lap. “Wait…were you anxious tonight about hanging out with my friends?”

Diana’s pulse spiked again, discomfort crawling over her skin.

“I felt that.” Emily’s arms tightened around her. “I felt you tense up. I guess that’s my answer, and wow…again, I had no idea.”

“I haven’t exactly fit in with them in the past.” She forced the words out. “And it’s uncomfortable for me that they know our history.”

“They may be boisterous and nosy, but they aren’t judgmental. You could walk in there and announce that you take anxiety medication, and you’d probably wind up in the middle of a group hug. They like you, Diana. They’ve been rooting for us from the start.”

“Have they?” She sat back, releasing Emily so she could smooth out her blouse and check her hair…fidgeting. She was fidgeting, so she reached for her calming strip, letting Emily see her use it.

Emily’s smile was gentle. “They have. Some of them have taken psych meds too, you know. You’re far from alone.”

Diana felt an unexpected dampness in her eyes. “I’m not?” It sounded a little hoarse, a little vulnerable, and she felt herself flush but refused to give in to the instinctive shame.

Emily shook her head. “I think you’ll find that a pretty high percentage of the population has dealt with mental health stuff in some way.”

Diana exhaled again, sliding her keys—and the calming strip—into her purse. “Shall we go inside, then?”

Emily nodded. “I’ll be right beside you if you need anything, okay?”

Dammit. Diana’s eyes were damp again. She covered the moment by leaning in for a quick kiss. “Thank you.”

A few minutes later, Diana was seated in a vinyl booth, nonalcoholic cider in one hand, the other clasped with Emily’s. She could have used a good buzz tonight to help with her nerves, but her new meds didn’t mix well with alcohol. Alex and Frankie sat across from them, which made the whole thing feel a little bit like a double date, but Drew, Carter, Tom, Maddie, and Talia were crammed into the booth beside them, constantly shouting over the back of the seat like they were all one big group, despite the fact they’d be separate teams once the trivia started.

Diana very much wanted to fit in, to feel like part of the group the way Carter seemed to. These were Emily’s friends, and she’d like them to become her friends too, but friendship had never been one of Diana’s strengths. She’d always been too focused on schoolwork and then her career to have friends. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late to start now.

Frankie rested her elbows on the table. “I heard it was a big day for you yesterday, Em.”

Diana bristled. Did everyone at the table know she’d spent last night at Emily’s?

Emily gave her hand a gentle squeeze before she replied. “It was. I gave my notice at the inn and signed up for the summit hike. ”

Diana exhaled, annoyed with herself for jumping to the wrong conclusion and for being obvious enough about it that Emily had noticed. She was still raw after their conversation in the car. She’d scratched herself open, made herself vulnerable, and received nothing but compassion and support in return. Despite her ragged nerves, she felt closer to Emily than ever.

“Diana gave me the nudge I needed,” Emily said. “Did you know that the first time I met her, she was out there hiking to the summit by herself, never having hiked in Vermont before?”

“Damn.” Frankie regarded Diana with raised eyebrows. “That’s either ballsy or stupid. How did it go?”

“I lost the trail about halfway up,” Diana admitted. “I might have been in real trouble if I hadn’t bumped into Emily.”

“Emily to the rescue.” Frankie laughed. “I tried that hike once. I made it to the part where you have to jump over that little ravine and noped right out. There’s a reason I’m not an official member of the Adventurers group. I just tag along for the fun stuff.”

“Well, I think it’s great,” Alex said. “You two can hike to the summit together, and then you can take one of those kissing selfies in front of the tower!”

Diana gave her a questioning look.

“It’s kind of a ‘thing’ the locals do,” Alex explained. “Kissing selfies at the summit. I keep trying to convince Frankie to try again so we can take one.”

“But no,” Frankie responded, jabbing playfully at Alex with her elbow.

Luckily, Diana was saved from further discussion of kissing selfies by the bartender announcing the start of trivia night.

“Just to warn you,” Emily told Diana, her expression apologetic, as Alex went to get their scorecard. “Our team always loses.”

Diana lifted an eyebrow. “Not tonight, you won’t.”

Diana sometimes got overconfident about things, but not this. The first category of the evening was military trivia. Alex and Frankie shared a groan, but Diana smiled. She knew a lot about a lot of things. Maybe if she helped the team win, it would help her feel like part of the group.

Maybe.

“Ready for your first question?” the bartender called. “What year did World War II end?”

“1945,” Diana told Alex, who held the scorecard.

“Are you sure?” Frankie asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Alex wrote it down.

“Next question,” the bartender called. “What does the acronym SWAT stand for?”

Diana tapped a finger against her lips, thinking.

“Special something? Like special ops?” Emily suggested.

The W had to stand for weapons. Diana searched her brain. “Special weapons and tactics, I think.”

Alex filled out the scorecard. Over the course of the next hour, Diana drank cider and helped her team answer questions. By the time they handed in their scorecard, she was relaxed and—dare she say it?—she was having fun.

The bartender took a few minutes to tally the scorecards, and Diana seized the opportunity to visit the restroom. As she returned to their table, the bartender had just picked up her microphone. “Tonight’s winner is Team Gay All Day. Congratulations, guys. See me to claim your gift card.”

Someone whooped, and the next thing Diana knew, she was being spun in a circle. Various hands were patting her back, and then she found herself being hugged by both Emily and Alex, which felt surprisingly nice.

“We did it,” Alex was saying. “We really won!”

“I knew you were smart,” Emily told Diana through a wide grin, “but you’re like, really smart.”

“Figures,” Drew said with a good-natured eye roll, “the one night I defect to the other team, we still lose. Still happy for Team Gay All Day, though.”

Everyone was in exuberant spirits as they left the bar, but no one more than Diana. She felt like she’d won a prize infinitely more valuable than a gift card to Maude’s Tavern.

Emily turned to her with a hopeful expression. “Stay with me again tonight?”

Diana’s pulse quickened. “Yes.”