36. Taryn

THIRTY-SIX

TARYN

“I’d like the record to show that I still don’t think this is a good idea.”

Finn gives me a half-grin as he works on finishing the rope gauntlet on my left forearm. “Noted.”

Sighing, I distract myself with the beauty of our surroundings. When Finn asked me to take him somewhere out of the way and isolated, I brought him here, to the valley where Devlyn and I played and trained when we were younger.

On one side is a stretch of tall trees with dense canopies that form a natural border. A meandering stream runs perpendicular to the woods, the peaceful sound of the water trickling over rocks creating a meditative ambiance I’ll need for what I’m about to attempt. And a large hill covers the remaining sides which should provide us with cover from anyone who might be looking in this direction.

Unless I set the entire valley on fire. That’ll be hard to hide.

That’s right. Finn’s bright idea is for me to practice using my Mystic powers while tied in a shibari corset and gauntlets. And I’m scared to fucking death. Thankfully, the extra compression of the ropes is keeping my anxiety to a dull roar inside my head, instead of the usual horror-flick screaming that happens whenever I think about using my powers.

“You know, I don’t know what Edevane was talking about when he said my mother changed. She’s exactly the same as I remember her.”

Finn’s eyes flick up to mine before refocusing on his work. “She doesn’t take audiences with her people anymore, so that’s different,” he says casually. “Why do you think that is?”

I scoff. “She could’ve decided it wasn’t worth her time as easily as decided giving people the chance to voice grievances made them weak or gave her wrinkles. Who the hell knows with her.”

He nods, and I can tell he’d like to say more—probably to agree with me—but the habit of biting his tongue when it comes to unfavorable opinions of the OTQ is too ingrained for him to break. “Can I ask you something else?” he says instead.

“Of course.”

“Why didn’t you tell her about your dad earlier?”

A chill runs down my spine at the reminder of what I held back from her in the throne room. I almost blurted it out when she was being so obtuse about the severity of the threat, but I couldn’t get myself to spit the words out. “She hasn’t earned the right to know what he sacrificed.”

Finn pauses and gives me a sympathetic look. He doesn’t tell me how wrong I am or push me to examine or rethink my position. He simply tells me in the silent way he has that he supports whatever decision I make. That he supports me . And it means more to me than I’ll ever be able to put into words, so I stay silent, too.

Dropping his hands after one final tail tuck, he says, “Okay, you’re all set. I added a corset to the chest harness, so you’re tied from your shoulders to your waist, and a gauntlet on each forearm where your magic flows through to your hands. How does it all feel?”

Peering down at the intricate designs, I study the webbing of ropes he created with strategically placed knots. The end result looks like lavender armor molded to my torso and arms. I have to admit I look pretty badass, but…

I chew on my bottom lip, unable to ignore the trepidation curling in my stomach. “It feels great, Finn, but I don’t know how this is supposed to protect me.”

“It’s not for protection, it’s for control . Listen to me,” he says, his voice brimming with reassurance. “You once said that your normal magic is like a contained fire in a hearth, but your Mystic powers are a brushfire. Right?”

“Right. When I tap into that well, it’s like the dam breaks and I become flooded with so much power that it just explodes from me.”

“Exactly,” he says excitedly, his hands settling on my hips. “Think of a balloon. With too much air pumped into it, it pops. But create a contained space for that balloon and it can’t get any bigger than what’s comfortable, so it doesn’t pop. That’s what these ropes are doing. It’s giving you the sensation of your magic being contained to help you feel in control of your powers.”

“That…actually makes a strange sort of sense,” I say reluctantly. “It won’t be an instant fix, though, if it works at all.”

“Which is why we’ll practice. But I really think this can work. We’ll go slow, okay?”

I nod as I swallow against the tightening of my throat. “It’s worth a shot.”

Violet fire flares to life at my feet. It grows with every ragged breath I take, turning into a fiery tornado swirling around me that whips at my hair and the skirt of my gown but never burns me.

Suddenly, my muscles lock, my back bowing as an atomic blast of power detonates in my chest and sends flames shooting in every direction. They spread across the floor and lick at the walls, the rich tapestries burning like dry tinder and turning to ash.

“Come on, sweetheart, stay with me. Don’t step back into the past. Be present with me in this moment.” His hands press in as he follows the direction of the strands at my waist to settle on my lower back, encouraging me to relax against him and just breathe. “You can do this, solnyshko . I believe in you.”

Stepping back, I summon the courage I’ve always relied on in battles. This lack of control is just another foe to beat. “Okay, I’m ready,” I say, shaking out my hands. “But step back. Like way back.” He takes a whole two steps and plants his feet. I’m not amused. “ Finn . I’m serious.”

Crossing his massive arms over his chest, his expression remains impassive. “So am I. I’m sure you’ve heard of the ‘power of suggestion’. If I put fifty feet between us, that’s sending your subconscious the message that I’m worried about you hurting me. But I’m not, so I’ll stay right here.”

I growl in frustration, but I know an immovable object when I see one. “Fine. It’s your barbeque,” I say petulantly.

I’m not serious, though. Because deep down I know I’ll do everything I can not to hurt him. I cared deeply for him back in that cavern, but my feelings for him have grown exponentially since then. Despite not being able to say the words, I have fallen in love with him. And a bond this strong is something not even magic will ignore.

“Start by taking deep, cleansing breaths,” he encourages softly. “Listen to the calming sounds around you and allow yourself to fall into a meditative state.”

Closing my eyes, I do as he instructs. Several minutes pass, and I’m in such a relaxed state that I’m almost surprised when he speaks again.

“Good,” he says. “Now start by cracking open that door to your Mystic powers. Release it in small doses, like the flickering flame of a candle.”

My fingers tremble slightly as I summon my Mystic power, my magic crackling ever so gently in the air. We both watch in awe as ethereal wisps of energy curl around my fingers, shimmering strands of violet light.

“That's it,” he murmurs proudly. “Embrace its warmth but control the flow.”

“I’m doing it,” I say in a shocked whisper.

“Yeah, you fucking are, baby.” He grins widely at me. “Now try cracking that door open a little more. Give yourself access to about 10% of what’s there if you can.”

With newfound determination, I allow a bit more of the magic through that barrier. My eyes widen with amazement as the tendrils respond, growing brighter and more vibrant. Slowly, I guide them to extend down my hands to where the gauntlets start at my wrists, dancing and swirling with my intention.

A glimmer of confidence sparks in my chest. It might not be much, but this is more control than I’ve ever felt.

“Excellent, little sun,” he praises. “Now pull it all back and close the door.”

The order shocks me enough that that’s exactly what I do, although I’m not sure if it was entirely intentional. “Is that it? That’s all we’re going to do?”

“Not by a long shot. But I wanted you to see that you can call it back to you. It may have been only a fraction of what you’re capable of, but you were in complete control the whole time, Taryn.”

I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “I was, wasn’t I?

Finn steps in and tips my face up for a quick kiss. “Damn straight you were. Now let’s go again.”

“Aye-aye, Captain,” I return cheekily, earning me a swat on my ass that does nothing to deter my sass. I’m in too good of a mood.

We continue practicing, starting at my baseline of 10% and slowly increasing it from there. He has me pull back every so often to renew my confidence in my control, and the compression of the ropes does its job, giving me the sense of my magic being contained and unable to overpower me.

The work is exhausting, but now there’s a fire lit under my ass, and I’m determined to not only be able to call on the magic but also do something with it before we head back. It takes me several hours to build up to the 25% level. That’s when I start trying to manipulate the water in the stream like we saw Edevane do in the cavern.

Again and again, I practice with little success. I can’t tell if I’m doing anything significant or it’s just the way the water naturally flows.

But then I do it. With sweat dotting my brow and my jaw grinding my teeth into dust, I lift a bubble of water the size of a dinner plate and hold it a foot above the stream, with a bonus Blaze-Gill swimming in panicked circles.

“Oh, my gods, I did it!” My shocked excitement breaks the hold I have and the fish and surrounding water splash back into the stream, but I’m too happy to care.

Finn laughs and picks me up to swing me around in celebration before steadying me and delivering a breath-stealing kiss. “I knew you would. I’m so proud of you, Taryn.”

“I couldn’t have done any of this without you,” I say with my heart in my eyes. “Thank you, Finnian.”

“Anytime, solnyshko .” He smiles wide and winks, then holds me out by my shoulders. “Okay, now that you’ve mastered that?—”

With a dubious arch of my brow, I say, “Mastered?”

“Whatever, there’s something else I want you to try.”

I lace my fingers together and push them out, cracking my knuckles. “All right, shoot.”

“I want you to practice teleporting.”

The blood freezes in my veins. He wants me to do the thing I couldn’t do that almost cost him his life. A new wave of shame and guilt—my constant companions—washes over me. It must show in my expression because he quickly gathers me against him.

“I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not because of that. Sweetheart, please stop blaming yourself for something that never came to pass. You’re too fucking hard on yourself.”

Am I, though? It’s a rhetorical question because the answer is a firm no , but he won’t agree with me, so I don’t ask it out loud.

Stepping out of his embrace, I say, “Why should I practice that right now, then? I need to focus on things that will help us in the fight against Edevane. Teleporting is great when you’re trapped, but we’ll be in the open with him.”

“Because teleportation isn’t only useful when you’re trapped. For instance, you could use it to potentially move objects, like weapons, from one place to another.”

Golden eyes lock onto mine, holding my gaze with a level of intensity he normally doesn’t use. “You could also transport yourself away from danger. I know you’re a fierce warrior, and you’re even more powerful as a Mystic. But nobody is infallible, and I need you to keep yourself safe. My heart doesn’t beat without yours, solnyshko .”

The torrent of my emotions eases somewhat. I understand where he’s coming from, so I’ll practice teleportation. Not for my own sake, like he wants. But so that I can move him, Dmitri, and my other loved ones out of harm’s way if needed. I wasn’t able to do it in that cavern. But by gods I’m going to be able to do it in the future.

“Okay, you’re right,” I say. “But maybe I should practice on inanimate objects before I start on trying to move myself through space and time.”

“Excellent idea,” he says with a relieved smile. “How about that small boulder over there? See if you can move it even a few feet away from where it is now.”

“As the boys would say, ‘copy that.’”

I try and try, but can’t get the thing to even vibrate, much less disappear and reappear. Deciding it probably takes more power, we switch to getting my percentage up higher. Accessing 50% of my magic without setting the nearby trees on fire took us several more hours. We even took a break so he could undo the original chest harness and construct a more tightly woven one for a stronger feeling of security.

By the time dawn is approaching, I’m wiped out but I want to give it one more shot before giving up. Summoning all the magic I dare, I hold my arms out and focus on the boulder and what I want it to do. My hands tremble, the violet streams of energy swirling and sparking. Growling through clenched teeth, I give one last shove of power, and the boulder vanishes .

“ Holy —”

It reappears several feet away and explodes into a thousand small chunks of rock that rain over the far side of the valley.

“— shit ,” I finish appropriately, eyes wide.

Finn crosses one arm across his body and braces his other elbow on it as he attempts to hide his amusement behind his closed fist. “Well…that’s not exactly ideal.”

I look at him with eyes widened. “You think?”

“It’ll be fine. You’ve been at this all night, and you’re exhausted. You’ll do better after you’ve had some rest.” Opening his arms wide, he says, “But, hey, you fucking moved it . That’s a start, right?”

My eyebrows shoot high on my forehead. “It’s definitely something ,” I say doubtfully. “You’re right, though. I’m cashed.”

“I’ve never been prouder of anyone in my entire life, Taryn. You were amazing.” Unused to hearing the expressive compliments that Finn lavishes me with so easily, my only response is to blush. Scooping me into his arms, he says, “Come on, rockstar, let’s get you to bed.”

“I can walk, you know,” I protest on a yawn before resting my head on his shoulder and letting my eyes drift closed.

The rumble of his soft chuckle soaks into my pliant body. “I know you can, solnyshko . Doesn’t mean you always have to. Now go to sleep and let me take care of you.”

I doze in his arms the whole way back, letting the rhythm of his long strides rock me as the sun creeps over the horizon. By the time I sense us entering the palace, I’m in the pleasant haze between awake and asleep, teetering on the edge of dreamland.

Finn stops to talk to someone, their voices low and muffled. I’m too exhausted to rouse myself enough to participate in the conversation or take much of it in. But as Finn starts to move up the wide staircase that leads to our guest suite, part of what was said makes it through the fog.

Edevane is coming.