Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

NYRA

We trudged through the darkness, arms brushing against each other’s. The silent air was heavy with unspoken words. Heat filled my cheeks from the wine, and every once in a while, a sentence would form in my mind, only to be quickly swallowed back down by dread at the thought of voicing it.

“Thank you for healing my ankle.” I studied the worn boards of the bridge we were walking over. “It really does feel better.”

“You’re welcome.” He nodded, his gaze lingering on me. “You’re not worth anything if you aren’t able to fight, let alone walk.”

I jolted as his words pierced through the haze of wine that clouded my mind. The icy clarity stung like a thousand needles, bringing me back to reality.

“Of course.” I saluted him as we approached the main door, and I hated how my stomach ached as he watched me. “I assume you do that kind of healing for all of your warriors.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I was bombarded with thoughts of him touching other women in the same way, of him touching Mal.

Someone he respected.

An irrational anger boiled inside me and made me think clearly for the first time all night.

Before he had the chance to respond, I raced up the dark stairwell and pushed into the shadowy hallway. My heart thudded in my chest as I frantically strode away from him.

I would have to face him in only a few hours when training would begin again, but I needed to breathe for a moment where the scent of him wasn’t clouding the air.

“What the…?” I stopped short at my door and stared down at the pair of boots that were hanging from their laces on my handle.

The deep rumble of Dacre’s throaty laugh filled the hallway as he ambled past me on his way to his own door.

“Good luck with that one.” He ran a hand through his dark hair.

“I don’t understand.”

His response was another deep laugh that shook his body in waves of mirth. He lifted one arm and waved it toward the door. “Boots on the door. It only has one meaning.”

“Which is?”

“Don’t disturb.” As soon as he said the words, a soft moan came from my room, and I jolted back a step.

“You mean Wren is in there with…”

“That’s information I don’t want to know.” He shook his head and reached for his doorknob. “My sister is a woman and can do whatever she wants, but I have zero interest in knowing who it is she’s doing it with.”

I took another small step back and sent up a silent prayer to the gods that whatever they were doing, they weren’t doing it in my bed.

It was the one thing I had come to look forward to every evening.

I moved across the hall and slumped against the wall. I was so tired, exhausted in a way that I had never experienced before, not even when I was on the streets.

“There’s a couch downstairs, right?” I turned my head to look at Dacre and was surprised by the way he was watching me.

“There is, but you’re not sleeping down there.” His voice was calm, but his jaw twitched.

“Why not?” I hugged myself, trying to contain the wave of shivers that swept over me as the damp fabric of my shirt chilled my skin.

“Because no one here trusts you, and I don’t trust them with you.” His words made no sense to me, yet they still managed to fill me with anger.

“Do you have any idea what room is Eiran’s then? I’m sure he’ll take me in for the night.”

Dacre’s low, menacing growl rippled through the hall, sending an icy chill down my spine. His eyes were fixed on mine, and I could see his clenched jaw bulging out in anger. Despite how badly I wanted to, I didn’t look away.

“That’s not going to fucking happen.” He tossed something through the open doorway to his room before he turned back to face me.

“I’m also an adult,” I said, pointing emphatically at my chest. “Just like your sister. I can sleep anywhere I want to.”

“Get in,” he growled as he pointed inside his room, and my stomach bottomed out.

“I’m not sleeping in there. I trust you least of everyone in this damned place.”

His nostrils flared at my words, and I was mesmerized by the way his throat moved as he swallowed.

“My room or the hall until she’s done. It’s your choice.” His voice was low and dangerous, and his dark gaze was narrowed on me.

I knew the answer without hesitating. “The hall,” I said, my voice cracking as I slid down the wall, barely catching myself before my bottom hit the floor.

Dacre gave a heavy sigh. My stomach twisted into knots, and I fought the urge to climb to my feet and barge into my room. Even though I had no idea what Wren was doing, it couldn’t be worse than spending the night with her brother.

“Get in my room, Nyra. I’m tired, and I’m not going to worry about you being out in this hall all night.” The casualness of his words betrayed the intensity in his gaze.

I slowly tilted my head back until it rested against the wall. “Are you worried about me?”

He let out a deep, guttural growl that reverberated between us before he let his door slam shut and marched toward me. My heart pounded as I clutched my vest tighter against my chest, feeling the cool metal of my dagger handle press into my skin. His footsteps thundered against the floor, echoing throughout the hall.

I scrambled to recall any training he had imparted over the past few days, but my mind was blank as he loomed closer.

Without hesitation, he bent down and cupped his rough hands around the backs of my thighs, lifting me up. I let out an involuntary yelp as my stomach hit his hard shoulder.

I pounded my fist against his broad, muscular back, but he remained unfazed. “Put me down,” I cried, my voice shaking with rage. “I’m not kidding, Dacre. Put me down or…”

He kicked his door shut behind us as he entered before he tossed me down on the bed.

“Or what?” He leaned forward, his jaw clenched and a challenge in his eyes. His lips parted slightly, and he leaned in so close that I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face.

“I’m not sleeping in here.” I could barely see past his broad shoulders and outstretched arms where they were pressed into the mattress at my sides.

“You don’t have any other options.” He hesitated for a moment, his breath heavy and his eyes on my lips. Then he suddenly pushed away and strode over to the tall dresser in one corner of the room and yanked open the top drawer, extracting a wrinkled white shirt and a pair of soft gray pants before throwing them on the bed without looking back. “The bathroom is right over there.” He pointed to the door on the right. “At least change out of that shirt so you don’t get my bed wet.”

I stared back at him defiantly, unmoving, unwilling to yield to the irritation radiating from him. At that moment, I knew I wouldn’t be obeying him anytime soon. Not tonight. Not in this room.

I tossed my vest carelessly onto a chair before kicking off my boots. They skidded across the hard floor and landed near the end of the bed. Dacre still had his back to me as he moved to the other side of the bed, and I glared at the ceiling.

I bit my lip and inhaled sharply as I yanked my shirt over my head. My trembling fingers fought with the wet fabric before I dropped it to the floor near my boots, exposing the goose bumps on my skin.

I hadn’t wanted to be bare in front of him in the springs, but now, I wanted to push him. I wanted to prove to him that he wasn’t the only one who could wield control even though it felt that way.

I hooked my fingers into the waistband of my pants, slowly tugging them down over my hips, revealing inch by inch of bare skin. I glanced over my shoulder as I sat on his bed and saw Dacre’s muscles tense beneath his shirt, even though he still refused to look at me. The air prickled with a charged tension that seemed to hum between us.

“Are you done yet?” His voice was harsh and clipped as if he were speaking through gritted teeth.

“You just saw me practically naked in the springs.” I tried to keep my voice level. “What’s the difference?”

“You’re in my room,” he snarled, emphasizing each word.

“I can leave,” I shot back without hesitation.

He slowly turned to face me, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. He scrutinized my face for a few seconds before speaking. “Do you always have to be so difficult?”

“Do you always have to be such an ass?”

Dacre’s gaze grew colder, as if a dark storm cloud had passed over him, and I knew that I was playing with fire, but I couldn’t help myself.

He opened his mouth, and I prepared myself for his arrogant response. But it didn’t come.

Instead, his gaze lingered over my back, and he stilled. He looked like he had seen a ghost or…

My scars.

“Who did that to you?” His voice lacked every bit of his control.

I quickly grabbed the T-shirt he had thrown me and pulled it over my head.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.” He was staring at the shirt as if he could still see the scars beneath.

“Who the fuck did that to you?” He enunciated every word, and fear coated every bit of me. I had never seen him this angry before.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he repeated my words on a laugh that had no trace of humor. “Who would do that?”

“I’m a traitor, remember?” I threw the name he had given me back in his face. “Traitors don’t go without scars.

“Finish getting dressed,” he growled, his voice so low that my stomach ached at the tone.

I met his gaze and said firmly, “You can’t tell me what to do.”

His eyes roamed down my body, scanning every curve and plane with a hunger and irritation I’d never seen before. When his gaze finally met mine again, it was like being plunged into the depths of the darkness that seemed to consume this city. The gravity of it threatened to swallow me whole.

He ran his hand over his jaw, his fingers trailing over his full lips. His silence was heavy and filled the room like a bank of fog, leaving me exposed to its cold and weighty presence.

I carefully unfolded the trousers he had given me from my bed. His eyes followed my every movement as I stood and slipped my legs inside. They were several sizes too big, so I bunched and rolled them up around my waist.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off. His gaze still lingered on my body as he spoke. “Get in bed. Tomorrow morning is going to come early.”

I clenched my fists, anger clouding every other emotion at his orders. But there was something in the way he spoke that weakened my resolve, and I found myself climbing onto the bed, my movements hesitant.

Dacre moved to the other side of the bed, and I could hear the rustle of his clothing as I turned my back to him and tugged the blanket high above my shoulders.

I was as far on the edge of the bed as I could possibly get, but I could still feel the heat radiating from him as the mattress shifted under his weight.

The wooden bed frame creaked as he settled onto the mattress. His chest heaved with each breath, and I shivered as I sensed a subtle hum of energy in the air, the same feeling as when he used his power on my ankle. Before I could utter a word, the lantern lights in the room quietly extinguished.

The silence was punctuated by our shallow breathing. My eyelids felt heavy, yet sleep was elusive as I lay there, listening to the slight creaking of the bed behind me that signaled every movement Dacre made.

I twisted and squirmed in bed, struggling to find a comfortable position, until I gave up and ended up flat on my back. My eyes locked on to the ceiling, and I tried to relax, but my gaze drifted to Dacre, and I noticed that he was lying in the exact same position. His arm rested on his stomach, his elbow an inch away from brushing mine, and the heat emanating from him seemed to fill the room.

The way his chest rose and fell with each of his inhales and exhales, the way his arm brushed against mine as he shifted. I was acutely aware of his every movement.

My body was betraying me.

“Go to sleep, Nyra.” His low voice pierced through the silent night air, and I jumped, startled by the noise.

“I’m trying to go to sleep,” I breathed out and shifted under the blanket. “I can’t seem to shut my mind off.”

Silence blanketed the room for a few moments, and I glanced over at him. His eyes were closed as he breathed slowly and steadily. Then, all of a sudden, he spoke in a low murmur that filled the space like a balm.

“Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.”

I took a deep breath, my eyes fluttering shut as I did what he instructed. My chest rose with each inhale, then sank back into the mattress as I exhaled slowly. A wave of calmness washed over me, and my muscles began to unwind.

Dacre’s arm brushed mine as he reached up to adjust his arm above his head, and before I realized what I was doing, I found myself leaning into him.

Even with the warmth of his body enveloping me, my skin still broke out in a thousand chill bumps as I felt his body against mine. He didn’t make a single move to pull away from the spot where we touched, and neither did I.

The thick darkness of the room embraced me as I lay there and allowed myself to think about what it would be like if this wasn’t my life. If this wasn’t our world.

I let that tiny spot where we were touching fuel me, and I imagined what it would be like to let his hands roam over my body. My thighs clamped together as tightly as my eyes, and I took a deep breath.

Dacre’s arm shifted again, and I could feel his body moving closer to mine. I let myself sink into his touch, the warmth of his body seeping into mine. And before I knew it, I was drifting off to sleep.