11. MASTER ISSUES

MASTER ISSUES

B althazar stared at the empty space where Daemon, Christian and Fiona had been. He was alone except for Kaly. Though there were two people there. It was all Kaly. Like Roan had been Kaly. He frowned.

Were the people whose bodies Kaly inhabited still there? Was Kaly always in those bodies? Split between them like… like what? Were the parts connected? Did one part know what the other did or did Kaly have to reconstitute themselves once in a while to sort of sync up?

These were not just idle musings, but the answers to them would help figure out how to crack Kaly's brain so that the white and yolk didn't become a runny mess, all mixed together and unable to be separated again.

He turned from where three people who meant the world to him--even Fiona was starting to fit into that grouping–had been and went back to where Artemis and Moira were on the ground, kneeling, with their hands crossed at the wrists behind their lower backs. The two of them couldn't move. He had, essentially, turned off their ability to move unless he willed it. He looked down at them with his hands on his hips.

"You know, those with the Eyros gift are hated because of the mind games they play. Not just the ones where we can turn you into marionettes, but simply the mind fucks we engage in," Balthazar said idly.

Kaly didn't speak. He wasn't allowing them to. He wanted to talk for once without interruptions. Besides, he was still holding himself in check and he wasn't sure he could control himself yet.

"But you." He pointed at both Artemis and Moira with his right hand repeatedly, sort of like a sewing machine's needle that went in and out and in and out. "You take the cake really."

There was a fallen tree not too far away. Balthazar strode over to it. He looked at the smooth wood critically. It was dirty. He took out one of his handkerchiefs and brushed off what dirt he could. He felt Kaly's disdain. Truthfully, Kaly didn't have to talk out loud for Balthazar to hear them. He sighed.

"You think I'm fussy, too concerned with material things," Balthazar said as he carefully lowered himself onto the fallen tree.

The moment he settled his butt on the wood, he felt something cold seep into his right pant leg. He'd missed a spot. Balthazar sighed.

"You do think that, but that it's understandable, because--unlike you--I am anchored , pathetically, to only one body," Balthazar said out loud the rest of Kaly's thought. "Hell, I don't want to play parrot. You can talk."

The truth was that he was allowing Kaly to speak because it would make it far easier for him to answer those earlier, deeper questions he had by sifting through Kaly's mind while Kaly was concentrating on answering the questions he had out loud.

There was a gasp and Artemis and Moira gulped air even though not speaking shouldn't have affected their breathing. But he did have a very firm touch on them. Maybe he had been suppressing that. Not that Vampires needed to breathe, but it was still a human reaction to not getting enough air.

"This isn't going to work," Artemis said with that crisp disdain of his.

"We know you too well, while you don't know us at all," Moira added with that same mockery.

Moira tossed her head back and that long black hair moved like liquid silk over her golden-skinned shoulders. Artemis was pale to her dark. Like yin and yang in some ways, but in personality, of course, the same.

"Why don't we like one another? I mean I know why I don't like you. You're a coldhearted, arrogant bastard who cares nothing but for themselves. But why don't you like me? I'm so likable!" Balthazar needled.

Artemis' eyes narrowed to mere slits. "You are a shallow twit ."

"Daemon only keeps you around as his court jester," Moira added.

The insults only got more amusing after that, but it occupied the front parts of their minds so he could look for other information inside of Kaly's heads. He realized right away that there were, in fact, two versions of Kaly in front of him. The one that occupied Artemis and another that occupied Moira. So it was a true they .

They did have to merge in order to truly know everything that each of them experienced fully. But they often just spoke to one another the old-fashioned way to make plans because this merging was difficult and actually took Kaly out of play for several nights.

Balthazar remembered those few times that Roan would leave their House and how once he was gone, the sense of relief that would sweep through all of them. It was like when the cat's away, the mice could play. Their minds would be free. And, it was during one of those times that Balthazar had started to plan Roan's death.

So Kaly is vulnerable during this time. It would be an ideal moment to strike, but will they merge anytime soon? Likely not… But, more importantly, it means that the rest of Kaly doesn't know what's going on here. Not yet.

There was something else here that he understood. With many minds, even though Kaly was Kaly at the core, they had different experiences. So there might be different hooks he'd have to use for each of them to reach their minds and then change them. Realizing that even Kaly was running out of creative insults for him and was winding down to just staring at him evilly. Time to ask yet more questions.

"I think you're just jealous that Daemon likes me while he only tolerates you," Balthazar said with a shrug.

More narrowed eyes. Kaly was clearly intelligent. But also emotional. Caemorn had more control with him even though the former Preceptor was somewhat similar to Kaly in personality. Well, only in the prickliness about his ease of making friends and the fact that everyone disliked Caemorn.

Except for Christian. Christian though is too kind-hearted to turn him away.

Yet, in a small part of his mind, he realized that Christian's admiration was real. He could even understand it. Caemorn was so gifted. He also worked incredibly hard to hone those gifts. Balthazar was gifted too, but he was Eyros. Roan hadn't allowed him to practice, not wanting him to overcome him as he had. And after he'd killed Roan with sheer force of will, Balthazar hadn't found study to come easy to him.

He'd had so much discipline of a different kind from Roan that he'd wanted to just let loose. But he'd had a family to feed. So he'd alternated between caressing minds to get money, property, blood, whatever they needed, whatever they wanted. And being a total reprobate. Bizarrely, both had allowed him to learn different aspects to his gift.

"You know, Daemon keeps asking you what you want. He still thinks--no, more like hopes --that if he gives it to you--if he can, if it's reasonable, if it won't hurt those he cares about--that you'll stop," Balthazar stated.

Artemis lifted his elegant head. "But you don't believe that?"

"No, because what you want--which you don't even know consciously, by the way--is not something even he can do," Balthazar said.

Artemis and Moira both froze. It was odd to see the same characteristic tic appear on two different people at the same time. Their heads were even tilted to the right at the exact same angle. They didn't blink either. So it was like two dolls staring at him.

Creepy.

"How can you know what I want if I do not?" Moira asked with a faint sneer on her beautiful face.

"The heart wants what it wants," Balthazar answered.

A frown puckered Artemis' pure white brow. "I have no heart…"

Balthazar actually laughed at that. "Yes, well, you do . Both literally and figuratively."

"So what do I want?" Moira challenged.

While he prepared his answer, Balthazar sifted through Kaly's minds and found the answer to whether Moira and Artemis' souls were still inside of them. They were not. They were in soul gems, locked away.

Maybe Caemorn can put them back inside their bodies, Balthazar thought. He realized that he hadn't automatically thought of Daemon, though the king could likely do it. But he should be asked sparingly. We should make sure things are done so he does not have to.

"Your silence says that you do not know!" Artemis laughed.

"For you to be enough," Balthazar said, coming back to the moment, and clarifying the real desire in Kaly's heart and the regret that could never be assuaged.

Silence fell. They weren't laughing anymore.

"For everything Daemon had before Julian to have been enough ," Balthazar amended. "You know your own limitations. Which is surprising really. But you knew you could never be number one to him. But you could be that treasured councillor. That trusted advisor. Even if he dallied with, ah yes, fools like me."

He now knew Kaly's poorly held secret. But how to use it?

Moira was like Roan, enjoying the control over her fledglings and her House. The sadism--now that he could cut it off from his own feelings about his Master--was more of a cold sort. It was distant and distancing. Watch these poor fools who have no power of their own! They must dance to my tune! See them try and please me and know that they never can but keep trying, just like Kaly had with Daemon…

Artemis was colder still. Perhaps it was the gift that allowed him to control people's very souls made him more distant than even Moira or Roan had been. There was no warmth there. Only this ice. Like distant stars that no one could ever reach. What had he seen? What hadn't he seen? And Christian could see more than him. That caused Balthazar to shudder. Kaly was responsible for Christian's particular gift, but Christian would be more powerful than any Speaker to the Dead had been before, because his Master was Eyros.

Caemorn will have to teach him. He will have to figure this out.

"Do you know your limitations, Balthazar?" Artemis asked. "I know them. I am your Master after all. I even put some of them there."

The urge to erupt with the statement, "You're not my Master!" Sounded too much like, "You're not my dad! You can't tell me what to do! Fuck off!"

Balthazar shifted though slightly uncomfortably on the log, though he thought he covered it by smoothing his hands over the fronts of his pants. His rage at Roan--or rather, Kaly --and his hurt at being unloved as a fledgling was still there, but it was lesser than it had been just earlier that night. He had Daemon and he had Christian and Julian and Arcius and Fiona and his whole House and the entirety of the Eyros Bloodline and… gods, even Caemorn .

"It's interesting that you wish that Daemon would be content without Julian," Balthazar said, as he moved through Kaly's thoughts as if he were swimming through them and moving his arms through the "water" or extraneous thoughts. "Because it bothers you no end that Caemorn adores Daemon, wants to be his fledgling, in name if not in blood, obviously."

There was that flash of blankness on both Moira and Artemis' faces though their minds were not blank at all. There were black, oily thoughts of jealousy and rage. There was, overall, this feeling of betrayal that Daemon would do or think or feel something that Kaly didn't want.

Does Kaly think they're smarter than Daemon? No, not exactly. More like they want to be valued. If Daemon does what they want then they are important. Interesting. What can I do with this? Anything?

"And you know what's so very sad about all of this?" Balthazar flashed a smile. "Is that you're jealous not that Caemorn wants to be Daemon's fledgling. You actually know that Caemorn's desires regarding Daemon are right and understandable. Because who would want to be your fledgling?"

There was an edge to Balthazar's voice. He felt his anger slipping its leash and had to take a deep breath. For in that moment, he felt a crack of daylight come between him and Kaly. Kaly had not taken that opportunity to break free. But they could have. A prickle of cold sweat appeared along his spine. He could not make a mistake here. The fact that both Artemis and Moira's faces were frozen again meant that they realized something had happened.

Not as distant as I thought it was. Hold onto Daemon. Hold onto all of it.

Balthazar swallowed and continued, "You're jealous because Daemon might actually like Caemorn. Maybe he'll get from Daemon what you never fully did. That definitely bothers you."

"Would you allow that to happen? You have Daemon's ear. And you hate Caemorn," Moira pointed out. "You could strangle the possibility of that in its cradle."

He wondered if he actually could. Would Daemon abandon Caemorn for him? There was a kind of thrill in the very idea. It made him feel special and--if he were honest--a little like a beloved fledgling himself.

I really do have Master issues! This is ridiculous!

"You had Caemorn kill Julian's parents. Why don't you think that disqualifies Caemorn from Daemon's favor?" Balthazar asked.

"Because he hasn't destroyed Caemorn," Moira answered dryly. "Well, not yet. Not until Caemorn attempts to build new bodies to put the Harrows in. Which is impossible, by the way."

"Caemorn wouldn't say he could do a thing like that unless he could," Balthazar said with a frown. "And I can confirm that he believes he can do that. Though you, truly, believe that he can't."

"If I cannot do this, how could a mere Vampire do it?" Artemis argued, and this was logical.

"Caemorn is a prodigy," Balthazar suggested.

"He is an arrogant creature. His grasp exceeds his reach." Moira tossed her head.

"This isn't false confidence," Balthazar countered. "He truly believes it and Caemorn… you just don't see him clearly. He doesn't brag. He does what he says he will do."

"You're a fool to trust Caemorn! You know how he got ahead? By backstabbing others," Moira stated almost sweetly.

"Because that was the only way he could survive," Balthazar found himself stating flatly. "I do know you. You are my Master after all. I know how you twist things and people. I know what it's like to be Caemorn. He was just better at working things than me. I had to kill you. I saw no other way."

And I don't see any way to turn them this time either. But maybe… maybe...

He found himself reaching out to Caemorn's mind without thought. When he touched it, he felt Caemorn jerk. The Kaly Vampire had been deep in meditation, tracing out Kaly's bodies throughout Earth and the Ever Dark. But he recognized Balthazar.

There was this moment when they both stared at one another like two junkyard dogs with an old bone between them. The bone was old and dry and not worth having, but they were still considering fighting over it.

But they could stop. Right now.

Balthazar nosed that bone towards Caemorn. Figuratively, of course. Caemorn stared at him out of shadowed eyes. He then nosed the bone towards Balthazar. Figuratively, of course.

Neither of us want Kaly, Balthazar said.

No, we both want Daemon , Caemorn agreed with that additional twist.

He's my best friend! He might be a Master-ish figure but…

Just as he is to me. Only Julian is his true fledgling, but…

Does it matter? Caemorn asked.

No, Balthazar stated. Because we both love him anyway.

Not like Kaly.

Not like Kaly.

There was a moment's hesitation and then Caemorn asked, almost diffidently, Do you need assistance?

Balthazar's initial thought was to scoff and say, No. What can you do here that I can't? I'm Eyros! But instead he swallowed that urge, that self-defensive stab, and attempted something with Caemorn that he hoped he wouldn't regret, he was honest. I do not know. I am not sure how to turn their minds. I know what they want, which is impossible for them to have.

Which is? Caemorn asked.

There was that usual archness in his tone, which had Balthazar bristling, thinking it an insult. But it wasn't, he realized. It was just Caemorn being Caemorn. Not personal.

To turn back time and have Daemon choose them and that life instead of giving it all up, instead of going to sleep and waiting for Julian to wake him like Sleeping Beauty, Balthazar said.

Well, turning back time is not something that even Daemon can do, Caemorn mused.

No… I mean, I don't think so. Balthazar shook himself mentally. Besides, he wouldn't change things even if he could!

But he regrets what happened in his absence, Caemorn pointed out. And he knows that Julian will be born. He could wait for him and--

No, Balthazar stated emphatically, certain of this though he couldn't say why. My memories are not back, but I just know that Daemon couldn't keep on as he was.

There was a pause and then Caemorn stated, In any event, the past is the past. It cannot be changed.

I just do not see any way to get Kaly to believe that this present is a good thing, Balthazar said.

Artemis never saw someone else's idea as good. Always, he suspected it was not as good as it could have been unless he suggested it. It could not be possible unless he thought of it, Caemorn commiserated.

But in those words, a kernel of an idea was born. And suddenly, it was a whole ear of corn.

Why are you so excited? What is wrong? Caemorn's alert voice calmed him.

I know how to do this. I know how to turn Kaly! Balthazar crowed.

What? How? Caemorn asked.

It is all thanks to you. Well, mostly--

Balthazar! Tell me. Calmly, Caemorn ordered.

I'm going to make Kaly think that everything Daemon did was THEIR idea, Balthazar laughed.

That they told Daemon to go into the sleep--

Yes! Yes! All of it! And what happened afterwards was simply their fear of Daemon seeing how things had gone all wrong, Balthazar explained, So he was trying all along to simply not let Daemon find out the truth.

That Kaly was wrong, Caemorn chuckled. Oh, my.

Yeah, and then--NO!

Balthazar let out yell as Moira's teeth were at his throat. He understood at that moment what a fool he'd been with his Master issues. Kaly hadn't missed his momentary inattention. Kaly had done what he would have done. Which was something small. Moving inches at a time closer and closer to him, but not letting him notice .

Not until it was too late.