12. TRUST

TRUST

" A re you being fussy, Caemorn?" Balthazar asked as the Kaly Vampire poked into yet another bedroom--this one on the second floor--of the Eyros Palace. Meffy let out a squeak and curled himself under Balthazar's chin and fell asleep even with his brusk words towards the Kaly Vampire. "You've found every single room wanting ."

Caemorn shot him a narrow-eyed look. "I thought you wished me to be comfortable."

Balthazar blinked. "I do!"

"And I thought that you wished me to feel at home," Caemorn added.

Balthazar grimaced as he conceded again, "I do."

"And I thought you wished me to--"

"The best place for you is the suite of rooms beside mine and Christian's!" Balthazar flapped his arms. "It's private. There's a staircase that leads directly outside so you can whisk home or away without anyone knowing. There's room for your bony friends." The skeleton bear had just made a hoarse snuffling sound and pawed at Caemorn's leg. "It's opulent yet subdued. I admit it doesn't have the gothic cathedral look as your own palace, but it's in your style! It could have been made for you."

Balthazar frowned. Had it been made for Kaly? No, he didn't think so. While he didn't think Kaly and he had been complete enemies in the past--not like with Kaly's current other selves--they weren't as close as they were now. As he wished them to be.

"I agree that those quarters are at the top of my list," Caemorn replied as he brushed off the bit of earth from the skeleton bear's claws on his pants.

Balthazar couldn't quite figure out how Caemorn managed to look spotless despite the fact he dealt with dead things all the time.

"So why do you have to check out every other set of rooms? Why don't you trust me and accept the ones I brought you to initially?" Balthazar quickly dropped his hands down from a pleading position.

He didn't have memories of the palace exactly. But his feet had seemingly known where to take them, which had been to the topmost floor. The main part of this topmost floor was his and Christian's rooms. They hadn't gone in yet, though he had caught a glimpse of a sweeping vista of glass-enclosed rooms where there were loads of sparkling things. Oh, he loved sparkles!

No, he'd resisted the urge to go there, but instead had allowed his feet to lead him to another set of rooms that was down half a flight of stairs from his own. This suite of rooms jutted off from the side of the palace, hanging suspended with no rooms below it, above it or on either side of it. He'd known that this would be perfect for Caemorn even before they'd even looked inside.

He had held his breath as he had gestured for Caemorn to precede him and Christian into the space as if showing off a jewel to a connoisseur. There had been an almost breathless silence from him and Christian as Caemorn had surveyed them.

The suite had two floors which were connected by a central spiral staircase that looked to be practically floating in place. The steps were held in place by thin metal lines that were almost invisible.

There were no walls except for the outer ones. There was a large bed with no head or footboard. It was larger than a California king. The sheets were a crisp, icy white, but the duvet was a soft, worn purple. There were loads of plump pillows and a gray and white fur throw over one of the edges. The two nightstands held sconces with glowing silvery crystals that provided light. Balthazar had requested more light and the crystals grew brighter. This amused him intensely.

Better than the Clapper, Christian murmured.

I bet there are loads of neat things like this. I mean, this isn't human technology, Balthazar said.

It's different from the Spire here, Christian said.

Yes, every city in the Ever Dark has different features. Nightvallen is best of all, I'm guessing, Balthazar said.

Caemorn drifted from the bed and night tables over to a raised section of the room where there was a sumptuous tub made of black stone. Caemorn touched a softly glowing tile and water started to pour from a waterfall-like spout set in the tub's side. He quickly touched the tile again and it stopped. The water drained. There was also an unenclosed shower.

"This must be where you can store clothes," Christian called as he pressed a section of one of the walls that was not glass and out popped a very long rack. "Doesn't look like the person who was here last left anything."

"It was for special guests. No one lived here," Balthazar said and blinked. "I'm not sure how I know that."

"Any clothes and bedding should have long rotted away," Caemorn murmured as he ran his hands over the luxury bedding. "But it is brand new."

"That's true but things last a long time in the Ever Dark," Balthazar answered.

"Yes, but there's no dust either. No cobwebs. And this bedding…" Caemorn actually sat down on the bed and bounced a bit.

"You're caressing those pillows like you want us to leave you alone with them," Balthazar deadpanned. "Or I should say you, the pillow and the bear."

Caemorn was squishing one of the pillows in his lap. The bear had hefted itself on the bed and looked ready for hibernation. Caemorn looked up at Balthazar. "Don't you feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"These things feel new and particular ," Caemorn stated.

Balthazar thought of this. Everything was very neat, clean, tidy and more to a modern and, potentially, human aesthetic. The way he would want things now . Not how he would have wanted things even 200-years ago, let alone the millennia he'd been away from here. Balthazar was frowning as much as Caemorn.

"Yet more evidence that Daemon and the Ever Dark are one somehow?" Christian suggested.

Both Immortals looked up at him. Christian actually colored a little under their intense gazes.

"This place is modern . I mean it's very you, Balthazar, but you as you are now ," Christian explained.

"Exactly." Caemorn nodded.

"I hope that there are old things that might trigger me in a good way," Balthazar stated as he rubbed his chin.

The other half of this floor had sleek, yet still comfortable sofas and chairs all done in subdued colors. There was a fire pit that was filled with wood, ready to be burned.

Balthazar turned as he heard Caemorn's footsteps on the stairs. He and Christian followed the Kaly Vampire downstairs. The bear moaned but lifted itself from the comfy bed and followed. Caemorn had stopped at the bottom step and was staring. Christian and Balthazar practically walked into him. The bear did hit Balthazar's butt.

"Watch it, bear!" Balthazar wagged his finger which just had the bear nudging him some more.

"What's wrong, Caemorn?" Christian asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. It's quite perfect," Caemorn answered.

Balthazar looked over Caemorn's shoulder at the space.

"It looks like a lab. An alchemy lab or something,"

There were broad slate tables and free-hanging shelves. Balthazar blinked when Caemorn picked up a soul gem.

"What would a soul gem be doing here?" Balthazar asked.

"Precisely," Caemorn murmured.

But despite all of this being perfect for Caemorn and Balthazar could have sworn that Caemorn liked them--perhaps more than liked them--the Kaly Vampire had turned on his heel and asked to look at every other single room in the palace.

"That suite is clearly tailor-made for you! I don't understand why you're looking for something better!" Balthazar cried. He felt undefinedly insulted that Caemorn would turn away from those rooms.

Caemorn crossed his arms at the wrists behind his back and said coolly, "If you wish me to take those rooms rather than choosing my own, you just had to say--"

"No, no, no, do not twist my words!" Balthazar interrupted. "It's just… they're perfect."

"Yes."

"So why aren't you choosing them?"

"I will not have my future planned out," Caemorn answered. "I will choose ."

"You are choosing. You're choosing those rooms or whatever rooms."

Balthazar resisted the urge to tear out his hair. Christian taking one hand in his helped that. Uneven hair pulling was just not satisfying.

"Balthazar and I would definitely like it if you chose rooms close to ours. Those rooms are closest," Christian said succinctly, boiling down all he'd felt into one simple sentence. Then Christian added with equal grace, "But we want you to choose those you like the best."

Caemorn regarded Christian, unblinkingly, then turned his eyes to Balthazar. His mind was curiously blank or, more likely, he had up one of his many mental defenses. Since he had accepted himself as Kaly, he'd gotten much, much better at keeping Balthazar out and that bothered him. Not because he was worried Caemorn was scheming--actually, Balthazar was sure he was scheming, just not against them--but because he was protecting himself. As if he expected Balthazar to be the one to betray him.

"You would have looked in all the rooms yourself, wouldn't you?" Caemorn finally asked him.

"Yes, of course, I'm going to know every nook and cranny of this place," Balthazar answered with enthusiasm.

He had determined he was going to sit in every chair and sofa, lay down in every bed, read every book, look out every window, and smell every flower. He even intended on running naked through the man water features no matter if that was thought childish. He wanted to feel like this place was truly his. Right now, it still felt as if it were a hotel--a glamorous, exquisite, perfect hotel--but not home. Not yet.

"So Christian is right. Your annoyance is not about me looking everywhere, but you worrying I won't wish to be near you," Caemorn remarked.

"In rooms that are perfect for you!" Balthazar had to get in. "It's like the only thing you object to is that you're near me!"

The Kaly Vampire's expression seemed to soften though Balthazar would not have thought it hard before. And, even now, most people would see it as calm and unexpressive. Caemorn's emotions were shown in the briefest, tiniest, micro-expressions. But he could tell the difference even as he forced himself not to try and find a crack in Caemorn's mental defenses to check he was right.

Privacy, remember? Christian reminded him.

We are Eyros Vampires. Reading minds is like breathing for us, Balthazar said.

Yes, true, but Caemorn is intensely private. He would not like it if you rifled through his mind, Christian stated simply. And the whole goal here is for him to be happy.

That's not the whole goal!

"You want me near you?" Caemorn asked.

"Well, yes and no… whatever!" Balthazar couldn't seem to control anything coming out of his mouth at that moment. "I… I mean if you want to be elsewhere… it's not like you'll hurt my feelings!

"Hurt your feelings?" Caemorn's voice was soft.

"No! I mean that's ridiculous! It's a room! Who cares if you want to be as far away from me as possible! I won't take that badly!" He crossed his arms protectively over his chest. Maybe Caemorn didn't want his friendship. Balthazar wouldn't care! Absolutely not!

Balthazar felt Christian wincing with every word out of his mouth. It was as if his mouth was intent on revealing everything his brain was trying to deny.

"I see." Caemorn stared at him for another silent moment, and then as if coming to a decision said, "I choose the rooms nearest to you. The perfect ones."

Again, Balthazar did his best impression of a goldfish. "G-good."

"You are not hurt now?" Caemorn checked.

"I am not. Are you happy?" Balthazar challenged.

"I was always happy," Caemorn answered.

"Really?"

"Really."

Balthazar still wasn't sure, but he said, "Now that this is settled we should--"

"Continue poking around into every nook and cranny?" Caemorn lifted his left eyebrow and there was a faint smile on his lips as he asked this.

Now it was Balthazar's turn to give a narrow-eyed look. "Yes, I suppose."

"That is what you wish to do, yes?" Caemorn asked.

"If you do."

"I wish to see my new home. I like to know everything," Caemorn answered. "There is something very strange going on here."

"What do you mean?" Christian asked.

Caemorn continued to walk down the corridor as he answered, "The reason I did not immediately take those rooms had nothing to do with the nearest or farness from the two of you. I intended to choose them if the space was acceptable. It's because they're perfect, you see."

Christian slowly nodded. "I think I know what you mean. You're afraid its fate?"

Balthazar was going to blurt out he had no idea what they were talking about, but then he did. "You're still afraid that you're going to go crazy and evil, aren't you?"

"I have no problem with being thought evil. That term is morally loaded and it is completely subjective," Caemorn murmured as he poked his head into one room and then the next.

"Yes, yes, I understand your meaning there. But, Caemorn, don't you see that if those rooms are fate then it's a good fate?" Balthazar argued.

Caemorn paused in his poking. "Because it means we're friends ?"

Balthazar nodded. "But more than that. You're friends with the one person who can read your mind."

Caemorn turned to stare at him as if daring Balthazar to do just that. Reminding himself of Christian's caution, he resisted the urge.

"So if I get up to no good--"

"I'll know," Balthazar said.

Caemorn stared again, said nothing and proceeded down the hallway. Balthazar and Christian shared a look.

He's here. That's a start, Balthazar, Christian said.

So you've noticed he's shut his mind so tight that not a crack of light can get out? Balthazar asked.

He's dealing with things, Christian said with a shrug. Give it time.

They continued their mostly silent inspection. They were all lovely bedrooms or sitting rooms. Balthazar was already picturing his people within them. He couldn't wait until the palace was bustling with Vampires. He frowned as, for a moment, he thought he remembered how it had been. Laughing and talking, all ghostly, filled the air and then was gone.

"You don't… don't… uhm, remember things, do you, Caemorn?" Balthazar asked.

Caemorn turned and lifted an eyebrow. "About what?"

"Being Kaly. Before," Balthazar asked.

"Do you?" Caemorn asked.

"No, not really."

"Nor do I," Caemorn stated. "But you did take us immediately to the rooms you had in mind for me. Yet you say you don't remember?"

"It feels more like being on automatic pilot. Not conscious determination at all," Balthazar admitted with a shrug. "I've had a few memories. Most of them are rather terrible, to be honest."

"Maybe that is why neither of us is recalling our past," Caemorn remarked and then as if to end the conversation turned away from them. "We don't want to."

Caemorn led them into a hallway that ran along the outside of the palace. There were glass doors to their left. Some of them were cracked open. Others were shut. There was a terrace beyond with low, gray wicker furniture, plump oatmeal colored cushions and sleek black stone tables. Narrow fireplaces, filled with glass stones and, apparently, gas jets let out a stream of purple-yellow flames.

The urge to drift outside and simply sit and look up the beauty of Nightvallen spread out before them was almost irresistible. He imagined sitting down on one of the sofas with Christian tucked beside him and just resting. Caemorn though was like a mother goose, keeping her charges in line.

Balthazar was surprised at how endearing--rather than aggravating--he found it when Caemorn would look pointedly over his shoulder at them when they began to stray off his chosen path. They would, evidently, be methodical in how they explore the palace. Balthazar didn't really mind as he would have plenty of time to bob about.

You're being very good, Christian complimented him.

I'm always good! Of course, he sent that with a mischievous smile.

Christian shook his head, but goodnaturedly. You're putting Caemorn first when you would have every right to do only what you wanted to do right now.

Balthazar shrugged. Ah, it matters to him. It's so hard for him to believe that anyone cares about him, this is a little sacrifice to make to beat back those dark thoughts.

Christian tightened the hold he had on Balthazar's left arm. I'm proud of you nonetheless. What you're doing really matters, I think.

Balthazar studied the back of Caemorn's very erect form. He remembered the panic and desire for Balthazar to lock him up before he hurt anyone. Kaly had come to Eyros. Caemorn had come to Balthazar.

What if I had done this before all of the troubles, Balthazar suddenly said. I knew how fragile Kaly was. I could have done things to make them happy and none of these terrible things would have happened.

Christian was quiet for a moment, thinking about this, and then said, You've been there since it counted. Seeyr would have come to you if it could have been changed.

You're right, but it feels like a cop-out, Balthazar admitted. The truth is that I feel like I might have been a bully.

Christian's eyebrows rose. What do you mean? You're not--

I was the popular boy goading the goth kid in class. The one that wrote poetry and thought about death way too much and dressed in black… Balthazar grimaced. The very nature of Kaly makes people reject them. Death for a Vampire? It's like oil and water. I could have helped others accept and understand them. Or just made Kaly feel not so damned alone. And I didn't.

Christian considered this too. But they came to you when they needed help. They knew you would help them.

I have to do better this time, Christian, Balthazar said.

Christian just tightened his arm again around Balthazar's. A wave of love came from his Childe. Balthazar bathed in that warmth, that acceptance, that pride.

Caemorn glanced back at them as if he heard their thoughts, but he didn't. He just knew them. Balthazar made a face at him. Caemorn rolled his eyes.

The hallwas led to another room that jutted off from the palace. It was two stories tall and was well lit with golden light. It, too, appeared inviting and he found his steps quickening. Caemorn's eyebrows lifted when he saw how close Balthazar and Christian were.

"It appears like there is a library here." Caemorn turned and opened a set of mahogany doors with beautiful stained glass insets that showed the twin moons of Ever Dark.

"Why do you sound surprised there is a library?" Christian laughed, never seemingly finding Caemorn's words insulting.

"Because with your ability to read minds how could books ever be satisfying or useful? Books are a medium to get across ideas. You have access to the unfiltered source material," Caemorn answered as he swept inside the two-story library.

Caemorn's answer completely deflated any balloon of outrage that Balthazar was filling with his earlier statement so he could now just appreciate the space. The first floor of the library didn't just have shelves on the walls, but like a library, there were shelves situated a few feet from one another. There were also sofas, chairs and cozy nooks to sit and read with the obligatory fireplaces.

The second story had shelves lining the walls. A Vampire could have easily jumped up to the second story, but there were narrow brass and wood staircases to the second floor. The bookshelves were also made of mahogany and were polished to a high shine. In between them, were more of the stained glass windows.

"These books are in perfect condition," Christian said as he took one out of a shelf and paged through it. "No sign of aging at all. And they're in English. Modern English."

Balthazar snorted. "Okay, Daemon is magic. That is the only explanation for this."

"The information in these books though…" Christian bit his lower lip and lowered himself blindly into a chair as he started to read. "It's not modern. Huh, archeological ruins and… fascinating."

"Looks like we've lost Christian, Meffy." Balthazar kissed the top of the sleeping kitten's head.

"Balthazar," Caemorn said his name so strangely that Balthazar's head snapped towards the Kaly Vampire.

Caemorn was standing in front of a fireplace. He took a scroll that had been laid on top and sealed with wax. He held it out so Balthazar could see.

"It's addressed to both of us," Caemorn said.

In reality, it had their symbols beautifully inked on the scroll. But Balthazar knew that Caemorn was right. It was meant for Eyros and Kaly's eyes only. Balthazar came over to Caemorn.

"I believe you have to touch it as well in order for the seal to break," Caemorn murmured.

Balthazar could see the Kaly deathshead with a crown that was glowing. He touched the scroll and the symbol for Eyros flashed red. The wax seal suddenly split open and the scroll unrolled in Caemorn's hands.

The scroll read:

If you are reading this, it means our insane plan worked and that we are friends. I don't know which fact is more unbelievable.

Both Caemorn and Balthazar snorted at this. Their gazes met one another and both then smiled . They looked back down at the scroll and kept reading.

Kaly has just corrected me and they are right that the plan has worked so far . But there is more to do to return Kaly to wholeness. This task can only be accomplished by the two of us--of you --together. And it will require utter trust between you…

Now do you see why my disbelief?

Balthazar felt a chink of light in Caemorn's mental defenses for a moment. An objection to those words. But it shut down again. He reminded himself of what Christian had said. It was a start. He had to hang onto that. And as he read the scroll further, he realized how necessary that was.

But we have to find a solution. If you are up to the task, here is the way forward…