Chapter 32

Fluffy was barking wildly but I barely registered his agitation. My parents. My mother, who was currently pottering around my house, who I was pretty sure had shoved me under a bus. My mother, with her worthless ped daughter. Well, I wasn't ped now, was I? Finally, they could be open about magic with me. They'd wanted me to stay in London in Octavius's conclave for a hundred years and instead I'd run all the way to Portlock.

I gave a dark smile. I was their useless ped daughter and yet somehow I'd still managed to fuck up their sick plans. It gave me a sense of grim satisfaction.

‘Bunny?' John said softly, looking concerned.

Ah – I was smiling. That probably wasn't a normal reaction to being told your parents had paid someone to attack and kill you. ‘I'm okay,' I said evenly. I wasn't, but John had enough shit on his plate without me adding to it.

If anything, he now looked even more distressed. ‘I struggled with telling you, and I'm still not sure if it was the right thing to do. The fact that Octavius wanted me to tell you should have been reason enough to keep quiet, but if I were in your shoes I'd want to know.'

‘You did the right thing,' I reassured him. ‘I needed to know and I'm going to handle it. The truth always comes out. Thanks for telling me – I really do appreciate it. I should go, leave you to your grief.' And me to mine.

I stood up. ‘I'll speak to Connor about getting you a job and a visa or whatever we need to keep you here. Don't worry on that score. I won't let Gwen's sacrifice be for nothing. Octavius doesn't get to keep you.'

He pulled me in for a hug. ‘Thank you,' he murmured.

‘I've got you,' I promised, patting his back.

He showed me to the door and I kept my composure, even managing a jaunty wave as I walked to the SUV. He wouldn't buy it, of course, but mother had taught me to care about appearances. One shouldn't bawl in public.

Fluffy and I jumped in the SUV. He kept looking at me as if I was about to explode and he wasn't far off the mark. The punch of knowing that my parents had paid money to sacrifice me, the despair that they had never truly loved me, and the rage that they had made such a huge decision for me, boiled inside. The fire I carried within me was reacting to the maelstrom of emotion and I was sweating with trying to contain it.

I drove out of Kamluck and headed straight to the water. I'd have to let the fire go and I couldn't do that in a heavily forested area. I drove erratically, barely conscious of the road. Finally I stopped the car, jumped out, slid down the embankment and ran onto the beach, Fluffy by my heels.

I had the presence of mind enough to check for witnesses or boats but, seeing no one, I pulled the fire from my chest and let it go with a guttural scream. The fireball that launched out of me looked like a nuclear flash but it totally emptied the rage from my body. Emptied me completely.

I stood with my hands on my knees, panting. No wonder I demanded that people call me Bunny; on some level I had known that my parents were keeping something from me. They didn't have my trust or love any more than I had theirs, which was why I'd rejected the name they'd given me. They hadn't deserved to carve their mark on me, and that was why I clung to the name my nana had given me. She had loved me, of that I was sure.

My parents had ordered me to be turned into a vampire without my knowledge or consent. It would take a long while for me to absorb that.

My phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that Connor had rung repeatedly; in my daze, I hadn't even registered its blare. I answered the call.

‘What's wrong?' he asked instantly.

‘Did our bond tell you something was wrong?' I asked curiously, instead of answering. I felt strangely numb.

‘It feels like I can hear someone scratching nails on a chalkboard. Talk to me, honey.'

‘My parents were the ones who paid Franklin to turn me,' I said dully.

‘Are you sure?' he asked tightly.

‘John followed the money trail. I need you.'

‘I'm on my way back, doe. I'm hurrying but I'm a few hours' drive out of Anchorage, then I need to fly to Homer and then back home. I'll be there as soon as I can but it won't be soon. Even so, you don't have to confront your mom alone. Wait for me,' he urged.

‘I appreciate the thought, but I do. I need to do this by myself because otherwise it'll break me.'

‘It won't,' he said fiercely. ‘You are so strong, Bunny, stronger than you know.'

‘The book,' I said suddenly. ‘Did it tell you who I am?'

‘I don't need a book to tell me who you are,' he said. ‘I know you.'

‘Not who, then, but what.'

He hesitated. ‘I have some information. Let's talk when I'm home, okay?'

I accepted that; besides, I'd probably had enough answers for one day. ‘Hurry,' I said softly. I hung up, then I sank to my knees and cried.