24. Saoirse

Saoirse

I emerged from my room, the gold gown clinging to my figure in all the most uncomfortable ways. I felt like an alien in this dress, a caricature of the person that I was, who donned a pretty dress to play pretend for a night.

And in a way, that was exactly what I was doing.

I took the stairs one at a time until I reached the main floor of the bakery, where Vane was patiently waiting. The sun was already dimming, which meant I didn't have much time to get to the castle for dinner, but still I took each step agonizingly slowly, hoping I would just slip and break my neck, putting me out of my misery entirely.

Vane stood from where he sat the second I entered, his crimson gaze going wide. He said nothing, only stared as I stood there, arms limp at my sides. My cheeks pinked as the silence stretched, even though he'd just had his hands all over my body only hours before. "I look dreadful, don't I? I knew I shouldn't have put on this dress."

Vane moved closer, prowling forward like a lion stalking its prey. "You look incredible," he whispered, as his eyes scanned me from head to toe. "Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. Xan knew what she was doing when she sent you this dress."

He picked up the gift necklace Len had sent reluctantly, undoing the clasp and holding it between his hands. "Turn around."

I did as he said, coming face to face with myself in the small wall mounted mirror. The work we had done on my hair had done wonders, the red strands falling in perfectly coiffed curls around my face, blazing a delicate trail down my back, a perfect complement to the shimmering gold tones of the dress. Vane stepped up behind me, his eyes locking with mine in the mirror. My breath hitched.

"Lift your hair," he ordered softly, as he held the necklace in hand. I gently gathered my hair, doing my best not to ruin the magic he had worked on the curls, holding them up in a makeshift bun in my fist. His arms came around me, the edges of his shadows peeking out from under his sleeves as he placed the necklace around my neck, the cool pearls kissing my skin like an ocean mist. With an almost imperceptible click, he fastened the clasp, his fingers brushing the skin on my neck, making me shiver. His eyes flew back to mine, and we stood there, staring at each other through the mirror for much too long.

I didn't know what to make of the Darkwing. We'd only just met, and yet my body reacted to him in a way it had never reacted to another man before. According to my father, he was my enemy. To my sister, he was my ally. To me… I don't know what he wanted me to think of him.

It did me no use to get attached to this man. He had a mission: to find the shard. Once that was done, he'd disappear into the shadows, the same way he had appeared in the first place. He was never meant to be a permanent fixture in my life, and every moment I spent reacting to him like a lust-sick schoolgirl was a moment I would ever get back. I was attracted to him, that much had become obvious to me, but this was never something that could work out .

It was forbidden, and he would be killed if my father ever found out who he truly was. It would be better for myself, and everyone involved if I just ignored these feelings, before they became something that would be much harder to stop.

I closed my eyes against his in the mirror, closing that door inside of me that he had slowly been pulling open, intentionally or not. I'd closed it long ago, when I'd realized that no one would ever want to marry the witch with no powers. They would sleep with me, sure, I'd had a few suitors that way, but they would never be with me.

I was a powerless witch, and therefore unworthy of love.

A knock at the door sounded, and Vane's hands dropped from where they had been resting on my shoulders like they had been burned. I blinked my eyes open, stepping away from him, not even realizing he'd been touching me still, so lost in my thoughts.

I almost ran to the door, grateful for the interruption. The less time I spent alone with Vane, the better, the air still awkward from our earlier lapse in judgment. I swung the door open, my eager-eyed sister standing on the other side. She wore a pastel blue gown, her golden tresses fully pulled into an elegant updo that highlighted her high cheekbones. She was nearly eye level with me, a sign that she must be wearing some seriously high-heeled shoes to catch her meager height up to mine.

"Wow." Her mouth formed a perfectly circular ‘O' of surprise, her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline as she looked at me from head to toe. "I figured I'd come early to help you get ready, and drag you there if you decided to chicken out, but I see my worries were misplaced."

She stepped in, pushing me aside as she did, not waiting for the invitation. She gave a nod to Vane in greeting, who lifted a hand in a small wave as she turned back to me. Gripping the hand closest to her, she spun me around and I couldn't help the traitorous smile that escaped me at her exuberance. "I've always thought you were pretty, but if you are not the most beautiful person in that room tonight, I will be wholly surprised. "

"Stop it," I told her gently, so she knew I was kidding. Her words were nice, but I was well aware of what I looked like, and I could not hold a candle to her beauty. "I will stay just long enough for dinner, and then I'm leaving at the first chance I get."

"No, seriously, where did these come from?" She pushed forward, gripping my chest in her hands with a giggle. I stepped back, out of reach of her touch. "Give me some of whatever you have been eating because I need these in my life."

"Xanthi!" I chastised, my face flushing. It took everything in my power not to look at Vane, who had almost surely just witnessed the embarrassing harassment of my sister. She was not wrong. My chest was considerably larger than hers, but so was the rest of me. And he now had intimate knowledge of that fact.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it," she shrugged, not a hint of regret or self-consciousness on her face. That was one of the things I loved about her, the ease in which she was always unapologetically herself. "It's nice to finally see you flaunting that body of yours. Ready to go?"

"Yes, let me just put on some shoes," I told her, running to the corner where I kept the meager brown pair of flats that I always wore. She crinkled her nose, no doubt cursing herself for not also sending me shoes, but the gold dress was long enough to cover them, which I was grateful for.

No use putting any of my scars on display.

"See you later?" I asked, not sure why a nervous pit was in my belly as I turned to Vane. His eyes were dark, his expression unreadable as he nodded, already on his way to take his perch at the small table.

One deep breath later, and we were on our way.