Chapter 5

"I'm going for a walk." Alex grabbed the keys to the house as she headed for the door the next morning. She had slept like a brick all afternoon and through the night. "Try not to ruin the place while I'm g?—"

Bayodan stopped her by grasping her elbow. Man, for a big dude, he could move quick. "I will accompany you."

"I'd rather just go by myself." She pulled her arm out of his hand. It hadn't been aggressive on his part, and she didn't feel threatened—the fae were just touchy. She had to remember that. "That's the whole point of me going for a walk. Some distance. Some time to think."

"Unfortunately that is at odds with our instructions to protect you from…interference." He smiled thinly. "I will keep my distance. Cruinn will remain here to safeguard your home."

With a sigh, she shut her eyes. There was nothing she could do to argue with them, short of turning them into spooky house plants. "Fine. Glamor up, buddy."

If she expected the human-looking glamor of a thing that resembled Baphomet's manbaby with Dracula to look any more normal than his hooved version, she was a moron. Because a shimmer later, and she was faced with a guy who would have taken over any goth club he walked into, or looked like he was straight out of a stage production of some 1940s era drama, complete with vest and pocket watch.

"Yeah, you're gonna blend right in." She rolled her eyes. "Don't eat the cat, Cruinn!"

"I would never!" the strange, broken glass shapeshifter called back. "We are the best of friends."

Alex doubted that, seeing as Pumpkin was doing his level best to ignore the two Unseelie interlopers. Whatever. She opened the door and walked out, trusting Bayodan to shut the door behind him. She headed down the stairs, hands shoved in her pockets. She didn't know where she was going, and she honestly didn't know why she wanted to stretch her legs. But she had six days before she was thrust back with Izael and she needed to clear her head enough to think.

And it was really hard to focus with some one-armed goth monolith walking next to her. He even had little circular glasses that reminded her of somebody from an old World War II documentary. He obediently waited outside the bagel and coffee shop she visited. She did get him tea and a scone, however. Just because she didn't want him following her didn't mean that she had to be rude about it.

They sat on a bench in the public gardens. Just as she had with Izael after their shopping trip. She frowned down into her coffee. I'm not supposed to miss him.

"You are a fascinating lot," Bayodan observed as he watched the groups of people crossing through the park. "You are all so very loud." The sounds of traffic, shouting, hollering, the electronic rush of the electric MBTA buses—it all kind of just became background noise to anybody used to living in the city. But once she really thought about it? Yeah, they were.

Alex shrugged. "People gonna people."

"It has been a very long time since I was given the opportunity to simply observe humans going about their days." He tilted his head thoughtfully. His hair was still long, tied back in a simple black ribbon. "I have missed this. Though I do not wish to partake in it."

She didn't miss the stares they were getting from people walking by.

"Not a city guy?" She sipped her coffee. "Can't say I blame you. Noisy, stinky, crowded, expensive. It's a bit of an acquired taste."

"Do you enjoy it?"

That took her a second to consider. "Yeah. I guess. I didn't at first. But I think moving away to somewhere quieter would…I don't know, make me nervous."

"The lack of noise would increase your anxiety?" He arched a dark eyebrow at her.

"Yeah. The noise is people. For better or for worse. We're pack animals, one way or another. We like to congregate. Most of us, anyway." Shoving a piece of her everything-bagel-light-on-the-veggie-cream-cheese in her mouth, chewing and swallowing before speaking again. "It's not for everybody, like I said."

"Hm." Bayodan sat in silence for a long moment. "It reeks of urine."

That made her laugh so unexpectedly she almost snorted coffee up her nose.

It earned her a puzzled expression from him. "What?"

"You're"—she coughed—"not wrong." Clearing her throat, she chuckled. "You're really not wrong. I've just never heard it put so…I don't know. Directly."

"What is the point of embellishing on something so entirely grotesque?"

"You're right, there isn't." She smiled faintly, leaning back against the wooden slats of the park bench. "Personally, I think it smells more like rotting garbage than urine."

"To your nose, perhaps." Bayodan flicked some pieces of pastry from his fingers. "Yet you insist you enjoy the city."

"It makes me feel less alone."

"You are not alone."

"Right now, no." Alex sighed. "But I was. Immensely so. Knowing there were people in my building, or on the block, or walking by them on the street—it made me feel like I was a part of something, even if those people didn't know who I was and didn't give two fucks if I lived or died. Or were more interested in mugging me than being my friend."

"Your kind are exceedingly strange." He hummed. "But I think perhaps I understand."

"Haven't you ever been at a party where you just wanted to sit at the edge and watch? Where you didn't really want to interact, but you still wanted to be there?"

"Yes."

"Same thing."

He watched her curiously for a moment. "You are wise beyond your years, Ms. Alex."

"Hardly. I'm a vaguely asocial failure. It gives me a lot of time to live in my own head." She smirked.

"Is that why you wished to go for a walk and not to discuss what is troubling you with those who might be able to impart advice? Is this a desperate attempt to maintain the loneliness you are so accustomed to in hopes of clinging to the familiar, or did you honestly crave breakfast so very badly?" If she wasn't mistaken, he was teasing her.

"Are you following me around to protect me? Or were you hoping to get a chance to lecture me on what I should and should not be doing?" she retorted.

"Both can be true." He paused. "Ah. Yes. I see your point." He chuckled. "Izael always did enjoy a challenge."

"Excuse me?" She shot him a look.

"To our kind, true challenges are so few and far between that they are deeply coveted. I was complimenting your wit, Ms. Alex, not denigrating your personality."

"Fucking fae," she muttered into the plastic cover of her coffee as she sipped it again.

"Indeed." His smile was faint but genuine as he returned to watching humanity do its thing.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, she sighed. She couldn't take it anymore. "Fine. What should I do?"

He laughed. "I wondered how long you would hold out."

"Look, Goatula, you're the one who insisted on following me."

That only made him laugh harder. "You have a remarkable way with words. Again, I see what Izael sees in you. He does love chaos."

"I'm the sane one when he's around."

"Quite." Bayodan's laugh dulled to a smile. "As for my advice? I think, perhaps, Ms. Alex, you should truly address how you feel for the duke. Until you understand and accept whatever emotions you have for him—whatever they might be—you will be unable to move forward toward a concise plan."

"The issue is, how I feel about him doesn't matter. It really doesn't!" She threw up her hands in frustration. "Either I get tortured and wish away the treaty, or I skip the torture and wish away the treaty. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I can hold out for three days of getting my fingernails peeled off before giving up. I was hoping I could hide with the Seelie for the last three days of the contract I made with Izael, but—blah blah blah, fucking fae and your fucked up rules!"

She wasn't expecting the rant. Maybe she was bottling it all up and just needed to talk to someone. "So here I am, on a seven-day stay of execution, spinning my wheels. I didn't know what else to do. But I had to do something to keep from going right back to Izael. He's going to do anything in his power to make sure Valroy gets what he wants so that snake can steal my soul! My feelings don't play into this at all!" Letting out a defeated sigh, she shut her eyes. "Sorry."

"No reason to apologize. You have earned the outburst." Bayodan placed his hand on her shoulder. "I do not envy your predicament. I repeat my advice, however, regarding discerning the true nature of your emotions toward the duke."

"It. Doesn't. Matter." It was hard not to get frustrated with him. He wasn't who she was mad at. Honestly, she didn't even know who she was mad at. Valroy? Izael? Herself?

Yes?

She was going with yes.

"If your sentiment does not weigh in on your path forward—perhaps you are correct and it does not—and you have little else to be doing during this week by your own admission, then what harm will it do to consider the topic?" Bayodan rubbed her back. She hated that it was actually comforting.

"Okay, Dad." She put her head in her hands.

"If you believe that I will bristle at the comment, you do not understand how many times I have been gifted a similar honorific in moments of passion."

It took a second for it to click in her head. She let out a groan of despair which earned her a laugh from the Unseelie. "I really didn't need to hear that."

"I know."

Keeping her head in her hands, she thought over his words. There were a few reasons she was admittedly avoiding trying to answer the question of how she felt about Izael. "In the same breath he says he loves me and also wants to torture me within an inch of my life."

"We are Unseelie."

"That's not an excuse."

"No, but perhaps it is a reason."

She rubbed her temples. This was going to give her a headache.

"Do you love him in return?" Bayodan put his hand back in his lap.

"Honestly?" Whatever. What was the harm in telling the truth? "I don't know." Maybe I do, but I know I shouldn't. Maybe I do, but I can't let myself because of what it'll mean. "It's a mess."

"I believe you just summarized a great deal of relationships in three words." Bayodan sighed. His deep voice made it sound like a mountain was sighing. "Mine was no different when it began."

"Oh?"

"I was betrothed to another. A duchess, in fact, when I met Cruinn. They are of low station—and at the time had been a servant in another home. But to defend against the desires of the heart is an attempt to pull the moon from the sky."

"You had a social faux pas and an ugly breakup. You weren't potentially responsible for the death of two worlds." Alex rubbed her temple.

"I had to murder her and her entire bloodline."

She blinked and looked over at the Unseelie. "Well, shit."

"As you put it so elegantly earlier, I believe the phrase is ‘fucking fae.'" He smiled wryly.

Huffing a laugh, she watched the ducks on the pond in the center of the garden. Part of her was a little jealous. They only had to worry about duck stuff. None of this nonsense. "I really don't know how I feel about him."

"Then take this time to discover the truth. It may matter more than you think. I have found, through my centuries, there is very little in this world that can influence seemingly unstoppable forces, quite like love." Bayodan looked tired for a moment. "The Morrigan knows we fae are not immune to its influence."

"You're referencing Valroy and Abigail?"

"Indeed." He shook his head. "What an ugly affair it was between those two when it began. I must say, I very much appreciate the level-headedness you possess. I do not think I could handle another panicking mortal witch in this millennium."

She snickered. "I'm not much of the panicking type. Although watching Izael—I don't know—unzip—was pretty gnarly." She grimaced. "I wasn't expecting that."

He chuckled. "Moments of horror are expected and quite allowed. I would say that Izael is the worst of us, but that would be a lie. He is, however, rather spectacular in that regard."

"Cool. I have more scary shit to look forward to. Awesome. Love it." She leaned back on the bench again. "What would you do in my situation, Bayodan?"

"I have always been a creature of wants. I do not know what it is like to not wish for anything."

"I guess I could say I ‘wish I knew what to do,' but I think that's not the kind of thing this deal is meant for." Shaking her head, she let out a breath.

"I wish it were that easy." He smirked at his own play on words. "No, you are correct. Something that simple is hardly monumental enough to be worth one's soul. Otherwise, you could have wished for a bagel and coffee this morning, and it would be done with."

"Except he'd have my soul."

"Yes."

And I have wacky magic powers you don't know about, so I can't really put those in Izael's hands. "I don't like the idea of living on a leash."

"Hm. Living on one, no. But for a night, it is quite lovely. You should try it sometime." He grinned, the faintest flash of fangs showing from beneath his dark goatee. Heh.Goat man goatee.

She groaned again, making a face. "Dude."

"Forgive me. It is entertaining to disgust you."

"I'm so glad." She rolled her eyes. "Y'all need to get HBO ported into Tir n'Aill. You need better entertainment than humans."

"H-B-O?" Bayodan repeated slowly, his brow furrowing.

"Oh, man. You're missing out." She smiled at the idea of introducing two ancient fae creatures to the glory of cable television. That should keep them entertained for the week, easy. "I'll show it to you when we get back." She paused. "You don't think Cruinn has eaten the cat, do you?"

"Hardly. They are a gentle-hearted thing. A rare breed for our kind. This outing to Earth will do them well. I appreciate you thinking of us as guardians."

Shrugging, she figured it was worth being honest. "I don't really know either of you. But you seemed the least likely to either use this to your own advantage or try to three-way me in the middle of the night."

"The first is accurate."

She slapped a hand over her eyes and groaned. "Dude."

Bayodan laughed, enjoying their game. "You opened the door for me that time."

"I did. Yeah. I did." But she was smiling, despite her pseudo-real annoyance. Their banter was making her feel a little less hopeless. That maybe, if she lost, being stuck with the Unseelie wouldn't be so bad.

Until Valroy learns about my magic powers and then everything goes to shit.

Right. That. "The point I was trying to make," she kept going, trying to get her mind off what seemed inevitable, "was that because you helped Abigail before, I figured you might…I don't know. Get what I'm going through. And not try to leverage babysitting me for your own ends."

"You are correct. In exchange for ‘babysitting you,' we have been given the opportunity to come to the mortal realm for seven days and seven nights. It is more than an equal proposition."

At least she didn't owe them anything, then. She was already up to her eyeballs in needy Unseelie. She didn't need two more. Pushing to her feet, she tucked her empty coffee cup in the paper bag her bagel had come in and reached for Bayodan's empty paper cup from his tea. "C'mon. Let's go back. I think you'll really get a kick out of Game of Thrones."

He stood, his lips pulling into a thin line. "It sounds familiar to my own life."

She started walking, with him falling in step beside her. "Yeah, but there's a ton of nudity and sex."

"Well, why did you not start with that?"

Laughing, she found herself smiling once more. That despite all the doom and gloom hanging over her head, she…was enjoying her time with Bayodan.

That she might, through all the nonsense, have found a friend.

But like the toll of the Park Street Church's bell, she reminded herself of the one simple truth she needed to remember but had failed to follow so far.

Never. Trust. The fae.