Chapter One Hundred Four

Chapter One Hundred Four

Adrik

Once Sephie and I were alone in the bedroom, she still looked thoughtful as I helped her get out of her clothes and into my shirt for the night. "You still have something on your mind, love," I said, putting my shirt on her. She chewed on her bottom lip. I could feel her nervousness, which was unusual for her. "What is it?" I asked, putting my fingers under her chin gently and lifting her face so she would look at me.

"I know how frustrated and cranky you are because we can't have sex," she said.

I laughed. "I am, yes, but I can handle it until you're better."

She took as deep a breath as she was able to. "It's not just that. I'm just as frustrated and that's probably why Misha and Andrei keep telling me I'm extra spicy, but…" She paused like she wasn't sure what to say. Her good hand started to fidget with anything within reach.

"But what, love?"

"It…it scared me when I couldn't catch my breath after we kissed," she said. She looked at me like she was unsure if I was going to be upset with her for telling me.

"Sephie…" I said, pulling her to me. I just wrapped my arms around her and held her for a few minutes. I sighed. "You've been acting like you felt better. I can't feel anything from your lung, so I wrongly assumed it was better than it is. I went too fast and I'm sorry," I said.

"I am feeling better. I just can't breathe like I should be able to yet and you're very good at taking my breath away," she said. I could hear her smiling when she said it, even though she had her face buried in my chest.

I put my hand on the back of her neck, pulling her face away from my chest so I could look in her eyes. "I'm happy you told me, solnishko. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want you to end up back in the hospital. I will do a better job of controlling myself until you're ready," I said, leaning down to kiss her gently.

"You're not mad?" she asked. She was almost confused by my reaction, which made her even more adorable than usual.

"How could I be mad that you told me that or that you're still healing?" I asked, trying not to laugh at her doe eyes. She chewed on her bottom lip, not sure how to answer. "I will never be mad that you come to me with something that's bothering you, Sephie. This is how relationships work. We're a team."

"You're not going to swear off touching me until I'm better?"

"I will if that's what you want, but that's definitely going to make me extremely cranky. I'm going to go through the entire stockpile of punching bags we have here," I said, playing with her curls.

"I don't want that. I definitely don't want that," she said. "I just thought I would have to convince you that those extreme measures weren't needed."

I couldn't help but laugh at her. "We both know how terrible I am at keeping my hands off you. I'd rather not have to try to get better at that. I think you benefit from me touching you more than you realize too. But I can definitely make sure you don't lose your breath again until your lung is all the way healed." She looked up at me, still unsure. It had been quite a while since she'd needed to search my eyes, but she needed to tonight. I let her. I'd almost missed it. I'd grown to adore the sweet smile of satisfaction that she got when she didn't find what she was always worried she would see. "You're getting much better much faster now that you can eat a little more. And now that you're done with your antibiotics, that process should speed up. We won't have to wait that much longer," I said. I felt the strong pull in my chest as she was satisfied with her search and smiled sweetly at me. I leaned down and kissed her gently once more. "Now get in bed. You need sleep, so you get better faster," I said, grinning at her.

The next morning, I woke up to find her facing me again. For the first time in weeks, she was awake before I was. She was quietly watching me sleep, waiting for me to wake up. Her fingers lightly tracing circles over my back. I could feel her warmth before I even opened my eyes.

"You're awake," I said, opening my eyes to see her gorgeous smile. "That's the first time you've been awake before me in weeks. Have you been awake long?"

"No, just a few minutes, but it was a nice few minutes. Although, I have grown to love you holding me down when you wake me up," she said, biting her bottom lip.

"I'll hold you down whenever you like," I said, my mind immediately jumping to all the possibilities of how I could take advantage of that. I leaned over and kissed her gently. She rolled onto her back, stretching her good arm over her head, all her joints popping like normal.

"I want to see how painful it is if I leave the sling off for a bit today. I think my shoulder is more sore from not moving than it is because of being dislocated now," she said.

"That's a good sign. If you feel like you want to start moving it, then it's healing from being torn when it was dislocated. I just don't know about the extra weight from your cast."

"Yeah, remind me to have a conversation with the doctor about rationing his cast materials next time. I don't know much about setting broken bones, but using all the cast supplies seems excessive. This thing weighs as much as I do."

I laughed. "It might weigh more than you do since you haven't been eating much." I poked her hip bone, which was more prominent than it had been since she got hurt before and after the ball. "You're all sharp again. I don't even get to enjoy throwing you around more easily."

"0/10. Do not recommend," she said, trying to be serious, which made me laugh more. I rolled over, so I was above her. Before I could say anything, she reached up and pressed her palm against my cheek. "I love you, Adrik. More than I ever thought possible."

Trino stopped by the building two days later. He was leaving for Colombia and wanted to say goodbye. His guys stayed in the lobby once again, which put everyone slightly on edge.

"Miha, you look better each time I see you," he said, walking to give her a hug.

"Maybe I'll have the use of both arms the next time I see you," she said.

"You and Jefe must come to Colombia once this is all over with. Have you ever been to Colombia?" She shook her head no. "Well, then, you must come. I'll be your tour guide. It's a beautiful country, Miha. You'll love it there."

"I'm not moving there, Trino," she said flatly. He laughed, shaking his head.

"How's Martin?" I asked.

"He's fine. He got a little roughed up when he escaped, but it's nothing he can't handle. He has no one to blame but himself for it anyway, so I'm somewhat glad he didn't escape unharmed. We're going to have a very long talk when I get back," he said thoughtfully.

"Good. He was likely coming from a good place, but he also clearly doesn't have the experience you do when it comes to dealing with certain people," I said. I somewhat expected Sephie to chime in, but she stayed quiet. I glanced quickly at Andrei, to see his eyes somewhat glazed over. While Sephie could pick up on things about people without anyone noticing, Andrei was still obvious about it. I knew there was more to be revealed about this situation, but if Sephie didn't say anything before Trino left, I wasn't going to either and Andrei decided to keep his mouth shut as well.

We talked for a few more minutes. Trino promised to send video of Massimo when he finally threw him off a cliff. I wanted him to keep me informed of what was going on with the Mexicans. It still worried me that they were working with Ricardo. More so for Trino's safety than anything. They wanted Trino gone and they were bold with Ricardo behind them. It was a volatile situation. Even more than the situation with the other bosses and me.

Once Trino left the penthouse, I looked at Andrei, then to Sephie. "What do you two know?" I asked.

Andrei looked at me, surprised. "How do you know we know something?" he asked.

"Much like Misha, you get a certain look on your face when you're getting something. I can't see it with Sephie, but given that she stayed quiet, it likely means there was something she didn't want to say," I said.

Andrei laughed. "I'm going to have to work on that," he said.

"Not me. I don't care," Misha said, grinning.

Sephie looked at Andrei. "I want to know what you got first, Bubba."

"When Boss said that Martin was likely coming from a good place. That's not right. There's something deeper to why Martin went to the Mexicans," Andrei said.

"Something deeper like there's going to be a split between those two in the future?" I asked.

Andrei thought for a moment, then looked to Sephie like he was asking for help. "You don't need my help, Bubba. You're doing just fine on your own. You can ask for clarity. I do all the time. When something comes in, ask a silent question, and wait for the answer. It'll come," she said.

He inhaled deeply, thinking more on the situation. He started to say something, then stopped himself and thought for a moment longer. Finally, he said, "It depends on how Trino handles this when he gets back. Martin isn't happy with him, but I can't figure out why. That's why he went to the Mexicans. It has the potential to be bad, but it's going to be bad for Martin, I think."

I looked to Sephie, who was smiling at Andrei. "See, you're getting more details. It'll get easier each time," she said. She then looked at me, saying, "It's not dissimilar to what's going on here. Martin is drunk on thoughts of grandeur, if you will. He's getting it in his head that he can run things better than Trino can. The situation with the Mexicans probably scared him, but depending on how Trino handles this, he'll either remember his place on his own or he'll be so angry with Trino that he'll go back to the Mexicans out of spite. Or he'll try to split from Trino and create his own empire. Only one of those options is going to result in him living much longer."

I sighed. I appreciated her keeping her mouth shut on this one. I didn't necessarily want to get in the middle of this. I would support Trino, whatever happened, but he needed to handle this or it would never really be resolved.

"It's always the people who seek power the most fervently who can't handle it," Stephen said.

"Because they're the ones looking for fulfillment outside of themselves. Something is missing from their soul and instead of seeking the answer to what's missing and why, they seek a band-aid to cover up their pain. People will commit unspeakable horrors trying to escape having to face their own shadow," Sephie said. I walked to her, pulling her to me. I could feel her body starting to shake slightly as she leaned against me. Instead of continuing on with this conversation, she changed the subject by asking me to help her take her arm out of her sling. "I'm tired of my arm being strapped down all day long," she said.

"Your shoulder doesn't hurt you as much now?" Andrei asked.

She shook her head no. "It's still sore, but I think it's sore from not moving at this point."

"That's likely. It's a good sign if you're feeling like you want to move it, but you should still go slow. Your shoulder was completely out of socket, which meant there was a lot of soft tissue damage. You can easily re-tear something," he said.

"Nobody wants that. I just don't want to be strapped down for, like, twenty minutes," she said.

"As soon as you can go longer periods without it in the sling, we can do some physical therapy to help you strengthen your shoulder again. You don't have much longer and the cast comes off too," Andrei said. It was evident on his face that he was looking forward to being able to get her back in the gym to train once more. He took his job as her trainer very seriously. He was quite good at it. I knew she would be back in shape quickly.

"Just as long as her lung is healed. Her shoulder and arm are healing faster than her lung," I said. Andrei looked to Sephie and smiled at her, like he knew something. She nodded her head, then pulled my arm around her, leaning back against me once more.

Later that night, once we were alone again, I asked Sephie about her and Andrei's silent exchange that morning. She laughed, telling me she was starting to understand Stephen's aversion to being read. "Bubba picked up on me getting scared by not being able to catch my breath. He and Misha convinced me to tell you. I didn't want to at first because I thought you'd be worried about touching me at all and I didn't want that. They gave me the male perspective, which was helpful."

"I'm glad they convinced you to tell me. Although I don't know how I feel about Andrei's ability to read you. It seems to be working best on you right now," I said, helping her into bed.

"I don't think it will always be that way. He's getting his confidence from me right now. Once he's more confident, it'll get better with everyone, but he'll also have to learn how to turn it off. Like with Stephen, I know he's insanely private, so I tend to turn it off with him. Only little things here and there with him."

I thought for a moment. "He is much more private than even Ivan is, now that you say that."

She sighed. "Ivan is private because he just doesn't want to drudge up the past. It's over and done with and he doesn't want to have to relive it by telling someone about it. But he's also handling it. Like, it doesn't bother him day to day. When big stuff happens, it comes back, but he's learning new ways to cope and it's helping him overall." She waited for me to lie down, then she rolled over to face me. "Stephen, though. He has something in his past that's just as dark and traumatic as Ivan, except he's not dealing with it. Something happened to him as a kid and he's kept that part of his life locked up tight. It's partly why he turns so sadistic and violent when he gets pushed past his limit. It's one of the universe's little jokes on us. When you ignore something, instead of it going away, it gets stronger. By shutting that part of his life away, he's basically been feeding the monster inside him. It's grown. He's going to have to deal with it at some point or the monster will consume him. For now, he can control it and we only see glimpses of it when he's angry, which rarely happens. But if he doesn't make friends with his beast, the beast will take over."

I inhaled, thinking back to what the acupuncturist had told me about Ivan, Sephie, and me. "The acupuncturist told me that you, me, and Ivan were older than the rest of them. Misha is in the middle. He's older than the other guys, but not as old as us. Knowing Stephen, he signed up for the hardest lessons first." She giggled, nodding her head in agreement.

"Andrei's the youngest," she said. "She told me the same thing. She said nobody expected Andrei to figure out he was like me in this lifetime, but he did. I think that's also partly why he's more attached to me right now. He might've scared himself."

"Did she say anything about Stephen? She told me they all have gifts and we're supposed to help them discover them."

Sephie looked at me, curious. "When did she tell you that?"

"The first time she worked on you after you and Ivan were taken. You were talking with Ivan and she came to me to tell me all this. She told me you and Ivan couldn't hear us. It was like we had left the room, but when she stepped away from me, you saw me again and I could hear you talking to Ivan."

She smiled. "That's a handy trick," she said, thoughtfully. "What else did she tell you?"

"That you needed the most help with your pain, just as I needed the most help with my anger. She said your soul was showing me where you needed help by allowing me to feel your pain. And that you still don't feel completely safe being totally vulnerable when you're hurt."

She sighed. "I know I'm doing it, but I don't know how to stop trying to hide my pain from you."

"You don't have to now that I can feel it. Although I'm still not sure why I couldn't feel anything from your lung. But I can feel what your shoulder feels like and what your ribs feel like."

"You didn't feel anything from my lung because there's nothing to feel. I only felt pain when I was in the hospital from my lung. You're not missing anything," she said, smiling sweetly at me. She had a quiet way of instilling confidence in every one of us. Even me.

"I did miss that it scared you though," I said. "You're still able to hide that one from me, but luckily, I have backup now. What you can hide from me, you won't be able to hide from Andrei." She giggled, burying her face in my chest.

"I'm in deep shit now," she said, still laughing.

It was almost two weeks later and Trino finally sent the video of Massimo's overly dramatic death. He really did light him on fire, but as it turns out, he didn't have to push him off the cliff. Massimo jumped on his own, trying to get away from the flames that engulfed him. I shared the video with the guys, but Sephie skipped watching it. She could hear it while everyone else watched and she said that was enough for her. Her memory was so good that I understood why she didn't want to have that seared into her forever images.

I called Trino later that evening to ask about Martin and to give him an update on Sal and Ricardo. We'd had people in Italy watching them for us. Niko and Vito were still with them. They were definitely planning; we just weren't entirely sure of their plans.

"How's Martin, Trino?" I asked after we had laughed about Massimo.

He sighed heavily. "I thought we were okay when I first got back. He was nervous about almost not making it out of Mexico. I thought it was going to be enough, but he's back to thinking there's another way of dealing with them. He's been questioning my business practices as well."

"Trino, I know you already know this, but he needs to remember his place. He's either going to go back to the Mexicans and get himself killed or he'll try to split from you and run his own business. Both of those options are not going to end well for him. If he tries to split and he comes to me, he'll meet the same fate as Anthony and Lorenzo."

"I know, Jefe. I'm trying to get him to use some common sense, but he's not thinking right now," Trino said. "My guys are oddly sympathetic toward him as well."

Sephie had walked up beside me, tucking herself into my side while I talked to Trino. The call was on speaker, so she could hear as well. "I've put you in a very tough spot right now, Trino, and I apologize for that. You need to be careful how much you say in front of your men. If you tell Martin he's going to die if he chooses to leave you, your men will turn against you once that happens. I did not peg them as being ultra-religious, but they clearly are. They're obviously fine with lighting someone on fire and throwing them off a cliff, but knowing what will happen in the future is a clear line in the sand for them. I don't understand it, but that's where they're at. They'll likely go through extensive mental gymnastics to blame it all on me, but you'll be guilty by association. That's where I see this going," she said.

"I didn't even tell them everything about you saving Martin," Trino said quietly.

"It doesn't matter. They saw enough that they know. Or they think they know. But take it as a blessing. If this was enough to cause their loyalties to waver, they were never loyal to you in the first place, Trino," she said.

We could hear Trino cursing in Spanish on the other end. "You're absolutely right, Miha. It seems I have some housekeeping to do."

After I hung up with Trino, Ivan looked at Sephie, his sly smile across his face. "Princess, you really were made for this shit."

"Called it," Misha said, pointing at Sephie.

"Stephen was also right. I know how people react to things they don't understand. Even without knowing things I'm not supposed to know, I could've called this one," she said.

The day we were all waiting for was finally here. It had been long enough that Sephie was finally getting her cast off. She'd been making steady progress with her shoulder and was able to move her arm as much as the cast would allow. Her ribs were getting better as well and only caused a dull ache most of the time. She said she felt like she was starting to be able to breathe better finally too. We were all looking forward to this trip to the hospital for once.

"One more x-ray before the cast comes off, Sephie. I want to take another look at your lung as well. How has your breathing been since you finished the antibiotics?" Dr. Williams asked.

"It's getting better. My ribs don't hurt as much anymore, so it's easier to take deeper breaths," she said.

"Good. We should be able to get the cast off today and send you on your way," he said.

The x-ray wasn't a problem at all for her this time. She hadn't even worn the sling to the hospital. Most days, she left it off for almost the entire day. Andrei had been helping her do little exercises to help strengthen her shoulder again. Occasionally, she would wear the sling after a session with him because her shoulder would be extra sore. But she usually only wore it for a few hours and then it would come off again.

Dr. Williams walked back into the exam room with power tools. "So, the good news is that the cast can come off," he said, walking toward Sephie. Ivan instinctively took a step closer to her when he saw the electric saw in his hands. She leaned into me, her eyes wide.

"Um, what's the bad news, doc?" she asked. I could feel her starting to get nervous.

"I have to use this to take the cast off," he said, holding up the saw. She immediately looked at me, her fear evident, as Dr. Williams went about setting up the saw.

"You've never had a cast removed before, solnishko?" I asked her in Russian.

"I've never had a cast before," she replied.

"Did not expect that," Ivan said.

"It'll be okay, spider monkey. He just uses the saw to cut through the outer plaster layer. The rest will slide off your arm," Andrei said, trying to calm her nerves.

"Keep your eyes closed, love. It'll be over quickly," I said, running my hand up and down her back to try and keep her calm. I wanted her to keep her eyes closed just in case her eyes decided to go dark too. So far, it seemed like the doctor had missed that phenomenon and I wanted to keep it that way.

She shut her eyes tight, hiding her face in my shoulder while she lifted her arm to give the doctor access. I glanced up at Ivan, who was trying not to laugh at her. We had all assumed she'd broken bones before, especially given her history. It was completely unexpected that she would be terrified to get the cast off, but I could easily feel her terror growing as the doctor started to saw the cast off. It looked like Ivan could too, as he clearly bristled once the saw turned on. His face went deadly serious as he watched the doctor like a hawk.

Thankfully, it was over after just a few minutes and the doctor pulled the last of the cast off her arm gently. She sighed, but didn't move her face from my shoulder immediately. I could still feel her fear, but it was slowly lessening. I grabbed her left hand for the first time in weeks, my thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand. That was finally enough to get her to look up. Her fear disappeared quickly and I felt her warmth spread over my entire body as she felt her hand in mine for the first time. She looked up at me, her sweet smile across her face.

Dr. Williams turned around from putting the saw aside and said, "It's going to be sore for a few days while you remember how to use it, but your bone healed quite well. Your ribs are looking better as well, but they're still going to need a little more time to heal completely, so nothing too strenuous for a couple more weeks. Your lung looks nice and clear as well, so I shouldn't need to see you again as long as that stays the same." He nodded to everyone in the room and walked toward the door.

"Thanks, Doc," Ivan said. Once the doctor had left the room, he looked at Sephie, smiling. He opened his arms to her, saying, "Come here, princess, I've been waiting for this." She stood up and wrapped both arms around him, laughing. "I see now why you told me so often that my one-armed hugs sucked. They really do suck," he said, holding her tightly.

"Let us be gone from this place," she said, stepping back from Ivan. She held her hand out to me, as I stood up.

"We should celebrate," Misha said.

"Vinny's for lunch?" Stephen asked as we were leaving the hospital. We still attracted attention walking through the hospital, despite Sephie not looking like she'd just survived death. The guys knew she was still sensitive about it and didn't particularly care for the unwanted attention. They just silently moved in closer around us, so it was harder for anyone to see her. I'm sure the Russian didn't help people to not stare either.

"Can we actually go there?" Sephie asked.

Viktor looked at her, smiling the sweet smile that was reserved only for her. "Of course, sestrichka. We can go wherever you like," he said. Her smile that made the world a brighter place stretched across her face.

"I haven't been anywhere in so long. This is going to be awesome," she said.

I caught Misha's eye when she mentioned not being able to go anywhere. I knew he was about to order me to go to the house. "After lunch, we should go to the house for the rest of the week," I said, grinning at Misha, who looked surprised that I had caught on. And maybe slightly disappointed that he wouldn't be able to give me an order this time.

"Really?" she asked as she climbed into the backseat. She rarely needed help with anything anymore. While I was happy that it meant she felt better, I was finding myself a little disappointed that she didn't need my help so much. I'd become accustomed to helping her and I found myself really loving that she let me.

"Really," I said, sliding into the backseat beside her. I reached over and pulled her tight against me. She was practically in my lap, enjoying the fact that there was no cast in the way anymore.

"Best day ever," she said, using both arms to pull my arms around her once again.

Unbeknownst to Sephie, when I had the guys pick up warmer clothes for her, I had them get double of everything. Since we had to cut the sleeve off most of her shirts, she was going to need new ones once the cast came off. The complete shirts were sent to the house, waiting for her cast to come off. She was still wearing my sweatshirt, but she was missing a sleeve underneath.

When we got to the house, I pulled her with me to the bedroom. Once we were alone, I pulled my sweatshirt off her. "I like where this is going," she said, grinning at me. Her lung was getting better, but I had decided to let her tell me when she was ready. I'd scared her once and I was not planning on scaring her again. I pulled her one-sleeved shirt off and walked to the closet to get her a new one.

"Where did that come from?" she asked when she saw the new shirt in my hand.

"I had them get extras. I knew we'd have to cut the sleeve off of some of them, but I also knew you'd need complete shirts once the cast came off," I said.

"You think of everything," she said quietly. She took the shirt from me and put it on. "Look, I can dress myself!" she said, laughing. She noticed the disappointment I was feeling at her not needing my help as much. She pulled me to her, her eyes searching mine to find the reason for my shifting mood. Her sweet smile on her face, she said, "I will always need you." She wrapped both arms around my neck, then said, "I want to try something."

"Want to try what?" I asked, pulling her tight against me. It felt so nice to be able to feel her body against mine once again. "As long as it doesn't involve you any farther away than this, I'm in," I said, smirking at her.

"It does not," she said, standing on her toes to kiss me. The kiss started gently, almost timidly. I knew she was testing her lung capacity, so I let her dictate how deeply she kissed me. She pressed her body into mine, tightening her hold on my neck, as she increased the passion in her kiss. Her tongue exploring, making it more difficult for me to control myself. I could hear her breathing, but she didn't stop. I ran my hands over her back, down to her ass. Like she read my mind, she jumped and wrapped her legs around my waist.

She was making it incredibly difficult to control myself. I leaned my head back, stopping the kiss. I wanted to see how well she was breathing. She was out of breath, but she said, "I'm okay." I looked at her skeptically. She laughed at me, squeezing me with her legs. "It's better this time," she said. "I'm out of breath, but it feels like I can catch my breath easier."

I put my hand on the back of her neck, pulling her to me once more. I kissed her passionately, but quickly. "I think we should still take it slow. As much as I hate to say those words out loud…" I said.

She laughed, unwrapping her legs from my waist. "I don't disagree. But at least now I know I won't hyperventilate when you kiss me like that. I've missed that," she said. She turned, so her back was to me. She pulled my arms around her waist, leaning back against me. "I can't wait to go to bed tonight. I can finally lay across your chest again," she said. It was such an innocent thing to say, but I felt my breath hitch at the thought of it. God, I've missed her.