Chapter Eighty-One

Chapter Eighty-One

Adrik

While the information we'd just discovered was important, I was having trouble keeping my mind from thinking about Sephie and how much I could feel her anger feed into mine. But also, how much control she had over hers, compared to me. My anger always felt like a ticking time bomb, just under the surface. I would have to struggle to keep it contained when it reached a certain point. I had learned over the years to keep it just under that point, so I could use it to my advantage when I needed to intimidate someone. Sephie, however, could raise and lower her anger at will.

I'd seen her get so angry that her eyes went dark a few times since I noticed it in the ring with Mike that day. But the few times it happened before, she was visibly angry. Tonight, she looked and felt like she was calming down, but when she opened her eyes after Chris left the office, they were as dark as I'd ever seen them. It surprised me. It was like her anger was cloaked. She didn't look like she was about to lose control, but her eyes told a different story.

While we waited on Keith, I let my anger rise to the point where I knew it was still easily controlled. I needed it to intimidate Keith into telling us everything. Before, Sephie would feel me get angry and would try to help keep me calm. I'd learned that it actually helped me increase the level of anger since I knew I had her to help mitigate it. But tonight, she didn't try to keep me calm when she felt it. I could feel her anger feeding mine, but also controlling mine. I was at a level that it would have been difficult to control previously when Keith walked into the office, but with Sephie by my side, I felt a mastery of it that I'd never felt before. We're going to need to discuss this later.

I squeezed Sephie just a little tighter in my lap, as she was worried that she'd made a huge mistake. I knew she was going to worry over this for a while. "I don't think Chris and Keith are a problem either. I will admit to wanting to just kill Andy and be done with it, but he seems to provide valuable information periodically, so I'm torn on wasting that resource. Maybe we should restrict his movements in the building until this is over, just to be safe. Either keep him in his apartment or keep him in a room," I said.

"Room" was a nice way of saying holding cell. It was my own psychological trick I played on people.

"I will say that Keith has talked extensively about his hatred for Mike since he's been gone. I've heard a few stories about when they worked together before moving here and they weren't pleasant stories. There is clear hatred there," Stephen said. "And Chris has talked to Keith about his mom being sick. I might've checked that one out already. It's legit."

We all looked to Stephen, somewhat surprised that he'd checked Chris's story already. "What? I have trust issues," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Okay, so Keith and Chris check out, which actually makes life easier. That means less work for us with Armando's security and it also means I don't have to look at Giana as much, which makes me happy. I vote for putting Andy in a room. He can still get messages outside the building with access to windows. If he is getting messages outside," Ivan said.

One of Ivan's strongest traits was being able to think like the enemy. He could put himself in their shoes, think like them, and be able to predict what they would do next. It was a useful skill to have.

"Agreed. Have him moved right away. Chris and Keith can go back to their apartments," I said. Viktor stood up to take care of the arrangements, his phone in hand as he left the office.

Keith stopped by the office on his way back. He looked visibly relieved. "Um, sir, in the interest of full transparency, there is one more thing." He noticed the look on my face and immediately put his hands up in defense in front of him. "No, no. Not about Andy or Mike. This one is about Giana." Chris walked up beside him as he was talking.

"What about her?" Misha said. He was still harboring extreme anger toward her, so it didn't take much to set him off when her name was mentioned right now.

"She does feel bad about what happened and she wants to apologize, but she thinks you all are really intimidating. We overheard her talking to Armando at his house this past weekend," Keith said.

Misha cursed under his breath while Sephie just laughed. "Keith, I appreciate you trying to help her out and put in a good word for her, but she needs to learn how to be an adult and realize that we're not intimidating. She's just intimidated. If she would grow a pair, she might get some respect, but having the men in her life speak for her is not going to gain her any favors. Not with me and I feel fairly confident in saying not with any of these guys either," she said.

"Definitely not with me," Misha said. He looked disgusted to even be talking about this.

"I basically told her as much last night, Keith. She knows what needs to happen to get back in our good graces. She will either choose to do it or she can continue to live in the Hell she's created for herself," I said. My tone was short, in hopes that it would end the conversation. I was growing tired of any extra drama that affected Sephie.

"She will eventually realize that she's made this into an even bigger issue by acting the way she has," Ivan said. "She's the only one that can correct it."

"You'll do her a bigger favor by telling her that than you will by trying to smooth things over for her," Andrei said. "She's chosen to learn this lesson the hard way, so get out of her way and let her learn it." Even Andrei's tone was short. We were all stressed and this topic seemed ridiculous and trivial comparatively.

Keith simply nodded his head and turned to leave. Chris, who was still visibly nervous, followed quickly behind him. Sephie waited until she heard the elevator doors close, then groaned. "Is it just me or is this Giana thing the stupidest thing ever now? How is she playing the victim card in this?" She looked at Ivan, who was grinning at her. "Make it stop." She paused for a moment, then added, "Wait, no. I didn't mean that in the permanent way. Just make her stop being stupid. Don't make her stop forever more." She couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, which helped the rest of us relax slightly. I pulled her back against me. I moved her hair off her shoulder, rubbing my facial hair against her neck lightly. I felt her body relax as she took a deep breath. She hugged my arms tighter around her, whispering, "Thank you."

Later that night, Sephie and I were finally alone in the penthouse. I didn't wait for her to demand my shirt. I took it off as soon as I closed the door behind us. I pulled her to me, pulling her shirt off and throwing it on the floor, so I could put my shirt on her. She had a sly grin on her face as she watched me button up my shirt after putting it on her. "You're getting better at reading my mind," she said.

"Maybe. Or maybe there's something to seeing you in just my shirt that helps me relax," I said as I unbuttoned her pants, sliding them over her hips.

"Well, seeing you relax helps me relax, so who am I to deny you?" she asked. She had a mischievous grin on her face.

"Could you deny me even if you tried, my love?" I asked, picking her up and walking toward one of the couches.

She giggled. It was exactly what I needed to hear. "Okay, so I've proven to fail miserably at that pretty much every time I've tried."

"It's the same reason I don't even try," I said, setting her down. I smiled down at her, taking her hand and pulling her into my lap as I sat down. She was still laughing when she straddled my lap. "I needed to hear your laugh, solnishko."

She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine gently. "I needed to laugh," she said. "I'm glad we got to go to the house this past weekend. I find myself wanting to go back. Each day seems to bring some new drama that makes me want to punch something."

"You and me both," I said, resuming my eternal battle with the curls around her face. This was one battle I would never tire of losing. She was quiet for a moment, so I decided to bring up what I'd felt in the office. "I think we should talk about what happened in the office. It was definitely different this time," I said, my fingers lightly running down the side of her face and neck. She closed her eyes, leaning into my touch.

"I could feel you struggling against your anger when Andy was in the office. Like you were trying to contain it," she said without opening her eyes. "But then you relaxed like always when I put my hands on you after Andy left." She opened her eyes and looked at me. "It felt different for me when we were waiting on Keith to come to the office. I could feel your anger, but I could also feel that you had it contained and that you were doing it on purpose. Your anger has never scared me or intimidated me or anything like that because I know it's not directed at me, but I found myself kind of liking being able to feel it while we waited on Keith." She had a sly smile creep across her lips as she admitted to liking it.

"I've always struggled to contain my anger, solnishko. There's a certain level I can let it get to where I can easily contain it, but still intimidate the hell out of anyone who needs it. I've learned that I can increase that level dramatically when you're with me because you help me keep it contained, if you will. But when we were waiting on Keith, I knew that you knew what I was doing. It was at the highest level it's ever been at when he walked into the office without me beating someone to death. And I have no idea how you made that happen," I said, smirking at her curious expression as I told her what I had felt.

"What about when I got mad when Keith was in the office? You had to calm me down instead of the other way around," she asked.

"That's where it gets interesting. You knew how angry I was because you got up so I could pace before I said anything, but as soon as I felt you lose control, mine vanished and all I could think about was you. But I felt you lose control. That's the weird part. We've been saying for months now that you have a switch that flips when you get angry. We can see it happen on your face when Andrei or Misha say something to get you angry when you're training. We can also see it switch back off after. But I felt it tonight before I saw it happen." I continued my battle with the curls around her face. She looked lost in thought, chewing on her bottom lip.

"A switch flipping is probably the best way to describe it. That's pretty much what it's always felt like. I'm getting better at being able to control it when it happens, but I was so angry tonight that I didn't realize it had flipped until I felt your hand on me. I was surprised you were having to calm me down."

"Your eyes went dark again too. Darker than I've ever seen them," I said. She smiled at the clear look of lust that I'm sure was evident on my face as I thought about it.

"I will admit to being angrier about being wrong about Andy than I have been about anything in a long time. But I don't know about my eyes changing colors. That one still escapes me. I don't know when that's happening or why it happens. The second time it happened, I thought I was calming down but you told me to blink again. I was almost scared to open my eyes again," she said, laughing.

"I thought you were calming down too. I didn't feel your anger at all when it happened. It was like your anger was in stealth mode. Still fully present but completely under the surface. That's why I kissed you. That always helps me make my anger completely dissipate, so I tried it with you, hoping it would work with you too."

"It worked." She grinned at me. "I was left wanting more instead of thinking about wanting to break Andy's face."

"Good. At least I know I have a kill switch," I said, laughing.

"This is going to make my street cred go through the roof." She had pressed her body to mine, her head on my shoulder, laughing.

She sat up again, looking at me, her eyes still laughing. "You really feel like you have more control when I'm with you?"

"Absolutely. My anger has always felt like barely contained chaos. But when you're with me, it's more like controlled chaos. It's there, but I don't have to struggle as hard against it to make sure it stays contained." She was chewing on her bottom lip again, her mind clearly racing. "Even Viktor has noticed it. Out of all of them, he knows my bloodlust the best. He's seen me completely out of control more than any of the other guys. He noticed the first time you stopped it with just a look."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "But what if it's a bad thing that I'm stopping it? I mean, even I'm losing patience with this whole situation. It might be over with already if I hadn't stopped it."

I was surprised that she admitted she was losing patience with everything going on. I knew she was stressed. We all were. But I didn't realize she was to the same point I was already. It was my turn to get lost in my thoughts for a moment. I felt her fingers lightly running over my facial hair, but she stayed quiet. It was one of the many things I loved about her. She was just as comfortable in silence as she was talking.

I had been worried this entire time that I would somehow lose her because of my bloodlust. If she saw that side of me, I was terrified she wouldn't want to be with me any longer. I'd been trying to keep that side of me as quiet as possible. But with each day, with each new piece of this puzzle, it was getting harder and harder to keep that side of me quiet.

I felt her fingers under my chin, lifting it so I would look at her. She was smiling sweetly at me. She leaned down, pressing her lips gently to mine. "I will never not want to be with you, Adrik."

I felt a huge wave of relief. I smiled at her, putting my hands on either side of her face, kissing her once more. "I don't know why it surprises me when you read my mind at this point," I said. "You're going to make it very difficult to surprise you."

"Wait until I get that crystal ball. You're all toast!" she said, laughing. All the stress of the day seemed to melt away as we laughed together on the couch. I still wasn't sure how she could do it, but I knew I was completely addicted to her magic.

Sephie was still getting dressed the next morning when I called the guys to the penthouse. She was moving a little slower than I was, which was completely my fault. I might've kept her awake and incredibly active for most of the night last night. She didn't want to wake up this morning. I was somewhat surprised that she didn't stay asleep, but she woke up as soon as I did this morning.

Being able to feel what she's feeling was making our sex life phenomenal. I was completely addicted to the feeling now. She had told me that she's been feeling it for a while. It got much stronger for her once I stopped holding back, but it took me longer to tap into her. She's said all along that I've been able to read her mind when it comes to sex, which is true. She rarely has to give me directions and she still always seems to be lost in the euphoria. Now, however, it seems like she can bring me into that euphoria. I've felt things I didn't even know were possible and I'm completely addicted. I'm an addict for her.

"Who wants breakfast?" Sephie asked as she walked into the kitchen, her smile making the room brighter. Even though she was tired, she looked bright this morning. She had an extra glow about her that made her look even more beautiful. She caught me staring at her with an open mouth when she walked into the kitchen. Her cheeks flushed as she walked to me, a devilish grin on her face. She had long ago gotten over being shy about kissing me in front of the guys, but she still only did it occasionally. I didn't mind. I liked having parts of her that were completely reserved for me. She surprised me by kissing me deeply, then continuing on to the refrigerator, her devilish grin still evident on her face. It took all of my self-control not to follow her to continue that kiss.

She took a quick inventory of the refrigerator, her back to us now. She turned around, looking between me and Viktor, asking, "How much time do we have before you're all needed downstairs?"

"His first meeting isn't until 11:00 a.m., sestrichka," Viktor said.

Her smile returned. "Raise your hand if you want syrniki for breakfast." All of our hands shot up. Syrniki was a type of pancake that was popular in Russia for breakfast. We'd all grown up eating them for breakfast, but it was difficult to find outside of Russia. She laughed as she started pulling the ingredients out of the refrigerator and setting them on the counter.

"When did you learn to make syrniki, spider monkey?" Andrei asked.

She giggled. "Today. Right now. You're all my test subjects." Her beautiful smile stretched across her face. She pulled a book from one of the cabinets. "I found an old cookbook at the house and I figured you guys might be okay with being test subjects for my foray into making Russian dishes."

"Just when I thought I couldn't love you any more than I already do, here we are," Misha said.

"I'm going to have to add cooking classes to the list of things to teach your future girlfriends and Stephen's future boyfriend," she said, laughing.

The guys all looked at each other, then looked back to Sephie. "YES!" they all said in unison.

While Sephie worked on making breakfast, we all pitched in where we could and helped as we talked about the latest information. Sephie remained quiet through most of the conversation, but she was actively listening to us while she focused on breakfast. I was still worried about her zoning out, so I found myself keeping a closer eye on her than normal. I caught Ivan doing the same, as he had also noticed she was quieter than normal.

I made her coffee just the way she liked it and walked to her side. The guys were deep in discussion about Andy, so I had a chance to quietly make sure she was good. I handed her the cup of coffee, my eyebrow raised. "You're okay, solnishko? You're quieter than normal."

Her gorgeous smile stretched across her face. "I'm trying to make sure I don't fuck this up," she said pointing to the bowl of batter in front of her. I laughed, leaning down to kiss her forehead. Ivan had caught the exchange as well and visibly relaxed when he heard her answer. She stood on her toes to kiss me quickly. "You and Ivan can relax," she said, winking at me. Both Ivan and I looked at her, surprised. She hadn't seen Ivan, as he was behind her. "I can feel him watching me," she said quiet enough that only I could hear. She giggled at my surprised expression.

"You never cease to amaze me," I said, kissing her forehead one more time.

The penthouse quickly filled with the aroma of the syrniki frying, causing all of our stomachs to growl in appreciation. Our mouths were watering in anticipation. Sephie turned around with the first batch and saw the looks of hunger on our faces. "I'm suddenly painfully aware that I should've made more," she said as she set them down in front of us.

While we had been talkative while she was cooking, we were now completely silent as we all ate. She continued to cook the rest of the syrniki, but our silence had made her nervous. "Is the silence good or you're all trying to find a way to politely tell me they suck?" she asked as she set more pancakes down in front of us. Not a word was spoken, but we all grabbed more pancakes from the plate. She laughed. "Taking that as a good sign."

"Seph, these might be better than my mom's. Let's keep that between us though. She'll smack me," Stephen said as he took another bite of pancake.

As we finished up cleaning the kitchen after quite possibly the best breakfast ever, Misha's phone beeped. He pulled it from his pocket, looking at it, then looking at Sephie. "Ms. Jackson asked if you're free to come to her apartment this morning?" he asked.

"Oh, sure. I can go see her for a bit. I haven't seen her since last week, now that I think about it," she said.

"At least one of you go with her. Preferably two," I said as I pulled her to me. Her smile threatened to stop my heart. She said quietly, "You're feeling extra protective."

"I can't help it. You don't know what you do to me," I said, holding her tightly against me.

"Oh, I know exactly what I do to you," she said, laughing.

Misha and Andrei interrupted our exchange by announcing they would both go with her to Ms. Jackson's apartment. Those two were always ready for an adventure when it came to Sephie.

"Good. Stop by the office when you're done. My afternoon isn't that busy," I said, kissing her lips. I couldn't help myself and I deepened the kiss. I felt her knees go weak, so I held her tighter against me, which only served to make her kiss me more passionately.

"Kiss me like that and I'd stop by even if your afternoon was busy," she said, her cheeks flushed.

"Why does it kind of feel like watching your parents make out now?" Andrei asked to nobody in particular, causing all of us to laugh.

Sephie grinned up at me, but pointed in Andrei's direction. "Nobody said you had to watch, Bubba," she said, trying to keep a straight face. It caused another round of laughter from everyone.

We all got on the elevator together, still laughing and joking, generally in a great mood after such a fantastic morning just the seven of us. I pulled Sephie in for another kiss before I stepped off the elevator. She quickly said, "Close your eyes, Bubba," before leaning in to kiss me. It was not the kiss I was hoping for, simply because I was laughing too hard. God, I love her.