Chapter 9

Chapter

Nine

TRESSYA

The ocean was calm, the only mercy we had received these last two days. With too few men, we bobbed about on the water, too wounded to unfurl all the sails. The captain and Hindemill were gone, but thankfully, we weren't directionless. There was one among the handful of sailors remaining who could read the captain's papers and navigational instruments, but our progress was slow.

The day after the attack, we spent disposing of the bodies, followed by cleaning the deck. Since there were so few of us remaining, Radnisa and I joined in. Once finished, I struggled to find it in myself to do anything more. The spirits tried to keep me occupied, but ignored enough times, they left me alone. Two sailors had brought me a bucket of seawater because they couldn't handle the smell or perhaps out of pity. Then Radnisa insisted I change, and she hurled the shredded dress covered in cow dung over the side. I'd covered myself in stinking cow dung for no reason, which would be mildly funny if I wasn't now poisoned.

Today, I sat on the deck, leaning against the mainmast, and stared out to sea, interspersed with staring at the bite mark on my wrist encircled by bruising from his cruel fingers. I had yet to feel the poison's grip on me, but that meant little. For all I knew, it would take weeks for its effects to take hold. The puncture wounds were large circles, showing the size of his fangs, and had mostly healed—most likely the result of magic, just like his ability to change form.

There had to be a way to cure this poison without involving the man who put it inside of me. I knew as much about the tales and legends of the other kingdoms as I did about Tarragona's political hierarchy, which was to say little. Edilene would know more, thanks to our diverging education. Once I reached Tarragona, I would learn everything I could, both about my new home and about these Huungardred. The next time I saw him, I would force him to cure me, then cut out his heart.

Unable to control this poison, my thoughts went to the sailor spirits, who came and went with no command from me. Spiritseers saw spirits; spiritweavers commanded them. The latter was a deeper level of the arcane talent. If someone was born a spiritseer it didn't mean they would develop the advanced skill of spiritweaving. Given I had recently developed this talent—thanks to the Mother and the black mist she put inside of me, I was sure—I didn't know if my skill would advance to spiritweaving.

After a while of trying to conjure them with thought, I grew frustrated, more so because of our crippled state than my failure at spiritweaving. I hated being stuck on this ship, hated seeing nothing but blue, hated how easily our enemy had decimated us and how powerless I felt. Most of all, I hated my inability to master soul voice. The outcome of the attack would have been different had I succeeded in my discipline and training. The Mother was right to be disappointed in me, but she could never be more disappointed than I was in myself. And now it appeared as though I would die a slow death from this beast-man's bite if I didn't find him in time.

I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms. Perhaps if I narrowed my focus to Scregs rather than all of them, it would be easier. I closed my eyes and pictured his translucent appearance in my head. Scregs .

I cracked one eye open. No spirit.

"Scregs."

"You're talking to yourself now?"

Deep in concentration, I'd missed Radnisa's approach, which was not something a good disciple would be proud to admit. I was yet to decide if I was happy to learn that she'd survived, escaping with only a large gash that ran down her left arm and across her neck, plus bruising to the left side of her face and an eye swollen shut.

We had said little to each other since the attack, neither of us mentioning Anderline. Radnisa had shown compassion by closing her eyes, and I had reached out to touch her arm with no sadness in my heart. Loyalty to the Mother meant loyalty to my fellow sisters within the Sistern, but it didn't mean I had to like them.

Radnisa leaned against the mast, an unusual display of idleness. Perhaps the attack had unsettled her more than she wanted to admit. Or was losing Anderline the cause? Though I would never accuse Radnisa of having a heart capable of feeling.

"What do you know of the Huungardred?"

"Some. The Sistern stay away from them."

"From what I've overheard, they're fierce fighters. I'm surprised the Sistern hasn't sought to form a bloodline with them."

"Isn't losing a sister to them enough? Now you're fascinated by them?"

Perhaps I was mistaken about Radnisa's lack of emotions. Maybe losing Anderline weighed heavily on her heart.

"I want to learn about our enemy. I won't let this go unpunished."

He'd told me to seek him out to cure the poison. I took that to mean this northerner didn't plan on going too far from Tarragona.

Radnisa made a derisive sound.

"Once the prince and I marry?—"

"Don't assume more power than you'll ever possess. King Henricus and his son know better than to risk moving into the north. Tarragona has yet to claim that territory, and not for lack of trying. They won't go to war at the request of a bastard princess who's had her ass kicked."

I arched my head back, the sun's rays warming my neck as I practiced my calming breaths. I never dreamed I would hold any sway over my husband, especially not one as powerful as the Crown Prince of Tarragona. That didn't mean I wouldn't devise a plan to ensure someday the Huungardred would pay for what they'd done.

"They came here for me."

"You really think you're that special?"

"Perhaps dangerous. King Henricus must've plenty of enemies. All powerful men do."

"And what danger could one woman possibly pose?"

"They hope to destroy the House of Tannard," was all I said.

"What better way to do that than kill the bastard princess of an insignificant kingdom?"

"Maybe they want to prevent any heirs to the Tannard line."

Radnisa rolled her eyes. "And you're the only woman who can give the House of Tannard an heir? You're not even queen and you've elevated your importance."

Even with all my years perfecting a shield against her sarcastic remarks, many still found their way under my armor, making it harder for me to find my calming breaths.

My hand involuntarily found the old wound above my left breast. Upon realizing, I jerked it away, casting a sideways glance at Radnisa, but she was staring out to sea and hadn't noticed.

"Many would love to see the House of Tannard, the House of Whelin, and every other ruling family brought down. That's the way of men," she said, pushing off the mast. "You know, they weren't the Huungardred."

She strolled around to stand in front of me. "None of us would be alive if the Huungardred had attacked. They were men of the north. Men who've bred with those beasts and birthed beasts themselves." Disgust dripped from her mouth. "They say the Huungardred can't take on true human form, but the descendants of such creatures can."

My mind whirled with that information, but before I could ask anything else, a shout from the sailor high in the crow's nest rent the air. "Sail ho!"

The bellow sent the remaining crew scurrying to the starboard side of the ship. I found my feet, but Radnisa had already joined the crew, looking out to the horizon.

"The King's ship," shouted the man from the crow's nest again.

Excitement rippled through the crew, which brought on a sudden queasiness in my stomach, unrelated to sickness. While I welcomed an end to our endless drifting, rescue meant moving closer to my fate. I clenched my teeth, then eased my hands to my sides. I would give myself this moment to succumb to my trepidation, then I would banish the feeling.

I came alongside Radnisa, squinting at the small speck on the horizon, not entirely convinced the sailor in the crow's nest was right. I had taken to wearing my daggers belted to my hip, dismissing the queer looks I received from the crew. Radnisa hissed at me to remove them, saying it was not how a princess should be seen, but after my confrontation with the beast-man, my daggers would stay where they were.

In the past few days, the implications of his poison had plagued me. He could have easily achieved what he came to do. Instead, he bound my life to him, ensuring I would survive only by his whim. While I doubted he would return so soon, even if eager to watch me beg, I couldn't calm my unease. I loathed the idea of feeling bound to anyone. The Mother was the only person who had the right to my allegiance. By his actions, this beast-man bound me tighter than a sanctified marriage ever could.

"We should ready ourselves in defense," I said.

Radnisa snorted. "With what? A handful of dispirited men against a fully manned ship?"

"I never thought I'd hear you speak in defeat."

"You've lost your head. This voyage?—"

"Soul voice, sister. You only need to control the captain."

She folded her arms. "Why don't you do it then?"

"You know I haven't mastered it." I gritted my teeth, anticipating her reaction.

"I never question the Mother's actions," she said, leveling a long look at me. "Since the announcement of your betrothal, I've done nothing but ponder her choice. Perhaps she made a mistake this time in sending you instead of Edilene."

"The Mother knew what she was doing." I turned away, focusing on the approaching ship, all the while conscious of the poison crawling its way through my body and the strange tentacle mist now residing in my veins. "She knew exactly what she was doing," I whispered, my voice so low I doubted Radnisa had heard. Edilene was superior to me in all ways but one—I now had a connection to the dead.

Under full sail, the ship was upon us before the sun reached its peak. I never thought I would be relieved to see another ship, nor eager to climb aboard, but when I saw the ensign flying at the stern, the black and white symbol of Tarragona, that's exactly what I felt.

As it maneuvered alongside us, the remaining crew sprang to life, preparing the Sapphire Rose for boarding. Men crowded along the port side of the arriving ship, peering across at us, and that too was a welcome sight. One figure stood out amongst the rest, distinguishable by his elaborate, decorative, and expensive attire. He clearly wasn't a captain or first officer.

The crew stood aside after fastening the plank in place to join the two ships, and the elegantly dressed gentleman crossed first. He leaped down onto the deck with the agility of a fighter and bounded towards Radnisa and me with an enthusiastic stride. His free-flowing locks, reminiscent of fine silk the color of the sun, bounced in the gentle breeze. But my eyes were drawn to his wide smile—a genuine smile that illuminated his face and reached deep within, touching my heart. In that moment, I thought of Carlin.

This man could be none other than a prince. The embroidered gold trim on his long cloak, the double gold buttons adorning his chest, the long cuffs concealing his hands, and the intricate patterns of fur, silk, and jewels stitched into his attire left no room for doubt.

I straightened, aware of my wild hair, the lingering scent I failed to wash away despite my sea water scrub, and the creases in my clothes. Was this my soon-to-be husband? With that thought, every fear lodged in my heart fell away. He was beautiful in the way kind eyes, a gracious smile, and a welcoming and generous face made a person beautiful. At the first glimpse of my fate, a thrilling tingle tickled my insides.

"Princess Tressya," he announced with a high lilt in his voice, then swept into a deep bow. "Prince Andriet to your rescue."

Crown Prince Juel's younger brother. I curtsied. "Your Highness." Then he turned to Radnisa. "My lady."

Radnisa's eyes widened a fraction as she inhaled. Not even Edilene bothered to acknowledge Radnisa once inside the castle walls of Aldorr.

"It seems you have suffered a great deal of hardship." He scanned the deck, his eyes traveling over the darkened bloodstains patterning the wood. "This is most grievous news." He looked solemn for a moment before his face brightened once more, leaving me to wonder if Prince Andriet was ever one to wallow in darkness. "Come, we shall settle you aboard the Silver Wing and make haste to Tarragona. Once you're settled, you can tell me about your adventure." He held up a hand. "Forgive me. Perhaps you're not willing to relive the moment."

"If you're looking for a princess easily distressed, you'll have to search elsewhere. I'll fill you in on every detail if that's what you want."

His beautiful smile returned. "Well, Your Highness, you're quite the adventurer. I adore bold ladies." He crooked his elbow, inviting me to link arms.

Radnisa sucked in a breath at the inappropriateness of the gesture. Like Andriet, my smile was genuine, mixed with relief and sincere happiness. I slipped my arm through his and let him guide me toward the makeshift bridge, giving Radnisa a smug smile as I passed her by. How alike were Andriet and Juel?

"I shall stay by your side and guide you across if the idea of crossing the plank is terrifying."

"That's unnecessary." I slid my arm from his. To prove myself, I attempted to climb the makeshift steps before me but stumbled when Scregs appeared in front of me.

"Not without leave from us," he growled.

"Are you all right?" Andriet rushed to my side.

"Yes, I'm fine. It's nothing." I gave Andriet a reassuring smile, then faced the plank with a heavy scowl and a small jerk of my head, a subtle sign that Scregs needed to move aside.

Scregs either didn't understand or ignored me, blocking my path while attempting to fold his arms across his chest, but failing to perform the gesture correctly.

"Yer can't leave. They'll abandon the ship for sure. Leave us to a watery grave depths below the sea."

I half-turned. "Prince Andriet?—"

"Just Andriet. We're almost like siblings."

I pressed my lips together to stifle my smile. I wouldn't be forced to endure my marriage if Juel was anything like his brother.

"What do you plan to do with the Sapphire Rose once all our things are across?"

"I shall leave enough men on board to sail her back to port. She's a mighty fine ship. One of my father's best. He'd never send scrap to return the treasure of Tarragona."

My smile mixed with a frown as I wondered what he spoke of.

I didn't have to wonder long. "You, dear princess," he said. "You're now the treasure of Tarragona."

Radnisa made a derisive sound behind him.

His brown eyes radiated warmth, and suddenly the dark shadows encasing my heart cleared, allowing in a small amount of light. I inhaled as if to take in fresh air after years of suffocation. For one embarrassing moment, I couldn't turn away from him. How could I distinguish flattery from praise when we'd only just met? I should trust my instincts, and right now, I wanted to believe in him. Would Juel be as thoughtful and kind? Please, let that be the case. I would survive my sentence if that were so.

I caught Radnisa shifting slightly to the side, a reminder of who I was and my purpose. There was no time for fanciful thoughts in my life. Stupid me for forgetting that. There was also no returning to my life before and the one person whom I would do better to forget.

I flashed Andriet an inadequate smile to match the friendship his words offered and turned to face Scregs, raising an eyebrow and giving him another small jerk of my head.

"So he says." Stede had appeared beside him. "And full of sweet talk. He's too pretty. I don't trust ‘im."

"Me either," Scregs agreed.

"Your Highness." Andriet's touch on my elbow was feather-light. "Let me cross first. You will see it's sturdy and safe."

"Just yer wait. Once yer aboard, he'll do with yer as he likes. I know those eyes," Scregs continued.

"Yeah, greedy, they are," Stede added.

I would slash through these two if it didn't make me look utterly mad, and if I knew my daggers would find their mark.

"It's not that," I snapped and waved my hand at the two spirits to shoo them away, trying to make it appear as though I was dismissing the idea of an unstable crossing. "Call me Tressya," I added, trying to soften my harsh reply, and gave Andriet another fractured smile.

"Tressya, may I say you'll have to cross or stand aside and allow me to guide you? The men are waiting to carry your possessions aboard."

I looked over my shoulder to see my trunks lined up on the deck. From my height on the makeshift step to the plank, all eyes were on me. I spun back.

"Yer can't cross."

"I can do this," I announced. "I will do this."

"Great," Andriet said with false enthusiasm. He probably thought me a fool now.

More spirits gathered to bar my way. "I can easily pass through you," I whispered. But it wasn't easy at all. I loathed the freezing sensation it gave me. It penetrated deep into my bones, carrying with it a profound loneliness that threatened to swallow me whole.

"It's a mistake!" another spirit yelled from further along the plank. "We beg you not to leave us."

I'm sorry . But they weren't my responsibility. And I would have to walk through a line of them to reach the other side.

I pressed my lips together firmly, gathered my skirts, and climbed the last few steps to the plank, tensing myself as I passed through Scregs. His spectral form caught me in a chilling grip, the biting cold seeping through my skin and feeling like icy fingers squeezing my heart. Though I knew what was coming, the shock still caused me to stumble forward, and I flailed my arms to regain my balance. The plank was wide-ish, but not wide enough for someone stumbling around.

I heard Andriet shout my name, but I was already passing through Stede's body, the freeze taking hold of my legs. My mind played tricks on me, convincing me that more frozen, claw-like fingers gripped my shoulder. I jerked sideways as if to release the grip and felt my foot skim the edge. I needed to calm my mind, use my breaths to find the control I always sought through practice. But more icy hands clutched at my shoulders, around my legs, across my waist, tugging me backward. I glanced down, but there was nothing there.

It's in your mind . I had to focus. But it was too late. My mind had become sluggish. Fear had become my enemy.

Somewhere in the back of my awareness, Andriet's voice rang out, but it seemed too far away and receding. The moment I heard my name, I felt plunged deep into a darkness as black as a moonless night. Pale figures moved around me, through me, filling me with an ache of longing so great that tears prickled my eyes.

"Don't leave." A wail filled my head. I think I wailed too.

A vibration shimmered up through my feet. Then came the sounds of thumping to match the reverberation. Andriet's voice drew nearer, calling my name, pulling me back. My arms flailed against the spectral fingers; my steps unsteady as if on uneven ground. Before I knew it, the side of my foot gave way to nothingness, and my body fell to the left. For a moment, I was convinced it was my mind creating more illusions, but then I felt a cold wind pass close to my hand and heard Andriet let out a desperate cry.

I fell, my shouted name spiraling down behind me. It was only one breath, if I had breathed at all, before I hit the water. The sudden cold felt like a blow to my head. My mind, freed from its frozen spectral grip, danced wildly. I was suddenly alive and fighting. But it was too late.

I couldn't swim. The weight of my clothes pulled me down. With my skirts entangling my legs, my arms were all I had. My body had become an anchor.

I had never come so close to death while feeling so helpless. No amount of training could prepare me to accept it or guard my mind and heart against the fear of losing the fight.

Discipline : controlling the mind to harness fear. This was not my grave.

Something solid wrapped around my waist and yanked me upward. The seawater burned my eyes as I looked through the blur to see sun-kissed hair waving through the churn of the current. Looming beyond were the spectral faces of my new tormentors.

"Yer ours," Scregs's voice raged through my head.

My thoughts raged back. No .

I worked my arms, not knowing what to do, but instincts took over in the absence of knowledge. Andriet's firm grip held me tight as he swam for the surface. I looked up, seeing us drawing near. The fierce will to live gave my legs the strength to kick free from the tangle of my skirts, and my arms found coordination to assist Andriet in hauling me to the surface, even though my lungs burned for a breath.

When we breached the water, I sucked in lungfuls of air, my arms wrapped around Andriet's neck. Lowered ropes dangled down the sides of both ships. Andriet pulled me toward the Silver Wing, the closest of the two. Our progress was slow, allowing some spirits to move alongside us, but none of them reached out to touch me. And gradually, they fell behind, anchored to the Sapphire Rose.

The swell tossed us about, and I wasn't much help in swimming, but I tried my best, refusing to look back at my tormentors.

Mother, you have truly cursed me.