Chapter 33

Chapter

Thirty-Three

TAMAS

I'd dared not move us far into the cave. Tressya needed the warmth from the liquid fire below, and I needed the light. In a hurry to undress, I'd torn the buttons on my jacket and shirt, using them as makeshift bedding for her. It wasn't enough, but at least it kept her upper body away from the cold cave floor.

By the time I'd reached the cave, her body hung limp, her head lolling over my arm. My heart beat a savage tune and my breaths came labored, as though a hand plunged through my ribs and seized my lungs. I had thought the moment I'd seen her fall over the edge of the pit was the worst moment of my life, but I'd been wrong. This was.

Her hair clung limp to her forehead, damp with fever, and I was helpless against it. I wasn't a healer. I didn't even have water and cloth to clean her wounds. There was nowhere I could touch her and not coat my fingers in her sweat and blood.

I couldn't think straight. Dammit . Fisting my tremoring hand, I punched the ground beside her with as much force as I could muster, welcoming the pain. "Think, damn you." Fear had never gripped me so tight. I felt useless.

I wiped the blood from my eyes before feathering a finger across her brow. "Tressya." It came out as a lament, and I sucked in a horrified sigh on hearing it, as I wiped the blood from her eyes.

"Don't you dare die. You hear me?"

I held my hand close to her mouth and nose, relieved when her moist breath tickled my palm. The poison acted so suddenly, there was no telling how much further it would run. I swiped my hand through my hair, feeling a ruthless rage inside of me at my helplessness. I'd felt something similar to this once before, but I made it through with the blend of vengeance in my veins, hardening my heart while it slowly cracked in two. This time there was no vengeful fury to counter the looming agony now bound to my fear.

"You can't die," I growled to her through gritted teeth, then sat back on my heels, fisting my hair.

"Fucckkk," I yelled to the sky, knowing my refusal to let her die wouldn't save her.

I would see the end of the Creed of Salmun. A promise I would keep no matter the cost, and if Tressya died, a result of their vile beasts, I would ensure their deaths were their biggest torment. The Etherweave was my only hope of ever reaching that goal.

I touched my pocket, then slipped my hand inside. The Etherweave responded, pulsing a warmth through the rock like it was a living being. I pulled it from my pocket and held it before me.

"What magic will you give me?" I whispered, then closed my eyes. "Please, enough to save her life."

Night lit as day, the augur's words, the foreseen day when the Etherweave freed itself from its cage. Not on a night as black as a tar pit. I would find no help in the essence lingering within this rock. It was outside of my reach no matter how much it called to me, itched my skin with prickles, or basked my face in its blue glow.

If I could harness its magic, would I be able to save Tressya's life?

I kept my eyes closed to better steel my focus. I will do this. Fuck the night as day horseshit. I would free the Etherweave, no matter how inconsequential this small amount may be to what I needed. It was all I had.

Come to me , I commanded in my panic, then pressed the rock between my palms as if I could squeeze the Etherweave from its prison.

When nothing happened, I growled in frustration. "If the blooded are right, and I really am the bloodborn, then you are mine to command." With a deep, prolonged exhale, I pressed the rock between my palms again, this time to the point of pain, its sharp edges cutting through my skin.

"Give me the power." My voice lingered in the air, a weighty presence within the silence.

It came into me, a flood so great I felt as though I rose off the ground. I sucked in air, arching my head back with the overwhelming intensity, the sheer pleasure of its power funneling through my veins. Every gasp of air was like tasting the sweetest syrup. It was more pleasure than pain, but the pain was a real and throbbing entity, searing through my body as the Etherweave flowed, seeming without end, until I felt sure my skin could no longer contain it.

When it was done, I collapsed forward onto my hands, dropping the dull rock to the cave floor. My fingers seized into a fist, pleasurable pain lancing across my shoulders and down my spine. I stared at my hands, forcing them to relax, then groaned a breath, releasing the tension as I rolled my neck. My body tingled. I felt reborn, powerfully alive and ready to fight. The wounds over the backs of my hands, my arms, and torso had healed. Where once my body was covered in deep lacerations and seeping blood, it was now miraculously smooth and clean. I stared at my healed hands, held in front of me. Healing magic.

I shuffled to Tressya's side and placed my hands over her chest, feeling it rise and fall. If I couldn't make the Etherweave work to heal Tressya, then I didn't want it.

"Come," I breathed and closed my eyes once more, concentrating on funneling the power through my fingers and into her, not knowing if it would work. I was prepared to try anything.

It rushed like water. I opened my eyes and watched in awe as her wounds sealed, as the blood dried and vanished from her skin. It was working, but she'd yet to stir from the poison, so I pushed harder, forcing more of the Etherweave's power inside of her, amazed at how easily it bent to my will. But there was only so much stored in the rock. I could only hope it was enough to rid her of the poison. I clenched my teeth, determined to drain myself dry if I had to.

Feeling the power wane, I let out a sob of desperation. Tressya had yet to stir. "No, damn you. That can't be it." I focused hard, clenching my jaw and gritting my teeth so hard it felt like they would shatter.

All the heightened bliss, the searing heat of the Etherweave's power, poured from me into her, leaving me drained and weak. I slumped forward, my hands still pressing hard on her chest, and growled my frustration when she didn't stir. My only chance of saving her.

My eyes roamed over her, and I felt panic begin to claw its way, a ferocious beast rampaging through my heart. Though I didn't feel the Etherweave's power in me anymore, I was about to try one more time when, through her torn jacket, I glimpsed the bone carving she wore as a necklace. Only now it was glowing a bright blue.

My gaze shot from the necklace to her face, and I huffed an exhausted, relieved breath when I saw her eyelids flutter. Unable to keep myself upright any longer, I hunched forward to rest my head on her chest. My strength had gone. So too the Etherweave. Feeling Tressya stir, I pushed myself up and slumped onto my ass beside her and ran my hand across my forehead. If anything attacked us now, we were dead. I had no energy to defend us.

"Bloodwyn." Her voice was weak, confused.

All I wanted to hear was my name on her lips, not his.

"It's all right." I gathered her hand in mine. "We're safe." For now. Or not. Given the adventure we'd had so far, that could be a lie. But I wasn't about to be honest.

"What…happened?" She tried to sit up.

I placed a light touch on her shoulder. "Relax. It's still dark out. We're not going anywhere for now." I wasn't sure I could move even if we had to. Using the Etherweave to heal Tressya took everything from me. I was battling to stay upright.

"I don't…remember."

"You're lucky. I'd like to wipe everything from my memory, too."

"Wait… There was… Then… You were…"

"Yeah." All I wanted to do was close my eyes and sleep.

She tried to sit up again.

"Easy, Tressya."

"We're in danger?"

"Not anymore."

"Bloodwyn," she gasped and gripped my hand. "Those things."

"Gone."

She was determined to get up, so I relented and helped her sit, finding nothing left in me strong enough to deter her. I kept a hold of her hand. "How do you feel?"

"You look terrible."

"Thanks."

"No really. You're so pale." She touched my lips. Through my exhaustion, a flame lit inside of me.

"Your lips. They've lost their color." She moved her fingers from my lips just as I thought to kiss them and ran a finger under my left eye. "There's dark smudging under your eyes."

"I feel a little rough." That was an understatement

"You're the one that needs to lie down." She placed her hand on my chest and gently pushed. On my bare skin, her warm palm felt like a branding iron, and I was too tired to resist her. "Oh, wait." Then she grabbed my arm to stop me. "Not on the ground."

She gathered the clothes I'd used as her bed and pushed them underneath me. Once laying flat, the extent of my exhaustion rode over me like a caravan of bullocks. My eyelids grew too heavy. Sleep tickled at the edges of my mind, but the sudden feel of her hands running over my skin pulled me back.

"You must be hurt somewhere."

"No," I mumbled. Then I changed my mind. "Yes." If that would keep her hands on me.

"You are? Where?"

I huffed a laugh that never came and tried to lift my hand so I could touch my lips, but my hand felt weighted under a boulder. I groaned inwardly. This was my chance for sympathy, maybe even a kiss, and I couldn't muster the energy to ask for it.

"I can't find any wounds. On you or me. That's weird." Then she gasped. "The rock."

Curses. I should've hidden it, which I would've done had I not felt like the Etherweave sucked my life from me. I cracked an eyelid to see Tressya frowning at the rock in her palm.

According to the legends, bone captured, harnessed and magnified the power of the Etherweave, but not just any bone, only that belonging to the Bone Throne. And only the rightful king, born from King Ricaud's line, could wield it without consequence. That I had drawn the small shard of Etherweave from the rock before the right time confirmed I was the bloodborn, but without the Bone Throne, it nearly killed me. And now it was gone without the Bone Throne to stabilize it. I was too weary to contemplate what I had seen when I funneled the Etherweave into Tressya.

"There's nothing there now."

"For the better," I mumbled as I closed my eyes once more.

"Why didn't you tell me you found it?"

"Can't answer right now."

"A good feed and some water will replace your strength. There's probably nothing to find around here, but I'll see what?—"

"Don't," I croaked, finding the strength to grab her hand. "No. Not safe. I need sleep. We go together."

"You'll feel much better?—"

"Promise."

She didn't reply.

"Promise. To stay put." My words slurred.

"Okay." She sounded far from compliant.

I wanted to growl at her but sleep finally rolled over me.

****

I jerked awake, lurching upright. Where was she?

On seeing Tressya sitting beside me, her back resting against the cave wall, I slumped to the ground.

"Feels like someone's stuck me with a lance, straight through my head," I groaned, covering my eyes.

I heard Tressya shuffle closer beside me. "You have some color back in your face." She lifted my arm and leaned over to look down at me. I would bear never seeing the sky again if I could gaze into her eyes each day. Their color, richer than the bluest sky.

It appeared the Etherweave not only sucked most of my life away, but my brain, replacing it with that of a bard spouting romantic verse, because I could only think of this perfect moment, the two of us surrounded by the silence of the cave with no commitments, no promises or duty. We were equals, surviving only because of the other. In this suspended breath, there was no space for adversaries, only allies. Our pasts vanished, so too our judgements, and those who made us enemies. I would hold us in this moment forever if I could.

"How long did I sleep?"

"Enough to rest you, it would seem."

I sat up, feeling stronger. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm good."

"How much do you remember?"

"The climb down. The creatures. They burst from the wall and covered us. I remember the pain. It was everywhere. Their teeth." She glanced down at her body. "And then…It was weird. I…remember nothing else."

"It's for the best. Bad memories aren't worth holding."

"What happened to you? Your clothes?" Her eyes moved over my torso before flicking to my face, then darting away to the pile of clothes crumbled behind me. And damn that I couldn't tell what thoughts lay behind her expression. I wanted desire, but thought I saw awkwardness. Hopefully, I was wrong. I wished it was my body those deep blue eyes caressed and not Bloodwyn's. He was in good shape, considering the lazy ass did little with his life. At least that was something. The last thing I wanted to read in her eyes was revulsion.

"It wouldn't look good for me if I simply dumped you on the dirt."

Her lips twitched. The smile won. That's when I noticed the faint dimples in her cheeks.

"You looked close to death. What happened to you?"

"It was a stressful time."

Deep grooves formed between her eyes as she stared at me, her mind working to decipher what I wasn't saying. "I can't even remember what happened to those creatures."

"The source was the one to bite you first. When you fell?—"

"I fell?"

"Kind of. You didn't go far. Your fall dislodged the vile little beast. Then they attacked us, which didn't last long once the source disappeared into the pit." I blew air from my mouth. " Pffft . Gone. The lot of them."

"I remember so little. I must've fainted. I've never done that before."

"The source's bite was poisonous. Nothing lethal, so it would seem, since you're awake and healthy now."

"You must've carried me down here."

"Weird, huh? I could hardly let you go over the edge. I don't think I'd ever get out of here in one piece on my own. You're handy to keep around."

"Liar, you could fly out."

I rubbed my hands down my thighs to rid the dirt. "There's no challenge in that."

"Why aren't we injured? I felt their teeth piercing my skin. All over me. I'm sure they spared none of me."

I shrugged. "Perhaps our injuries were illusional, and when the source died, so too the illusion."

She held my eyes, believing nothing I said. Her eyes were too penetrating for me to hold any longer, so I turned around and grabbed my crumpled shirt.

"We should get out of here," she said as I slipped my shirt over my head.

"You need to find your object. It was the reason we came down here." I lifted one flap of my torn shirt.

She frowned. "How did that happen?"

"I forgot how to undress it seems." I slipped on my jacket, unable to button the front to hold my shirt on my shoulders because I'd busted those. "Do you feel anything? A tug in any direction?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. It's not how it happened the first time, either."

"How did you find your first object?"

"I stumbled on it by chance."

She replied too fast. After everything we'd been through and she continued to hold her secrets; to be fair, she remembered little of the actual events, so I would excuse her for that. And how many secrets did I continue to keep?

"I wouldn't advise stumbling around this place until you find your third object." I stood, glad to see I didn't waver.

Tressya stayed put, half-turned from me, her head bowed.

"Are you all right?"

She shuffled around to face me and looked up with glistening eyes. In her hand, she held the metal chain around her neck. "It's gone."

I crouched in front of her. "The bone carving?" Rather than the chain, I looked into her eyes, then wiped the few tears from her cheek. "It was that special?" Perhaps the bone attracted it, but given it was ordinary bone the might of the Etherweave destroyed it.

"The person who made it was." She squeezed her eyes shut as she vigorously shook her head. "It's silly. That part of my life is over. It's nothing but the past."

"The past is you, Tressya. Every decision you've made and will ever make is guided by your past. You should never deny it, nor the people in it. They played the biggest part in creating who you are. Your past is as important as your future." I nursed the necklace in my palm, the back of my hand touching her skin. "This moment will also become your past. I hope you never try to forget it, or who shared it with you."

My form of wisdom delivered, I should look away. I couldn't.

"Thank you."

"Hold on to that thanks. We must make it out of here first." I took her hand to help her up, but she pulled her hand from mine and sprung to her knees, then into my arms, locking hers around my neck so tight it felt like she wanted to wrench my head from my neck.

I closed my eyes, sinking into the feeling of her body pressed against mine, my arms folding her in and holding her like she was the only thing keeping me alive. Unable to believe what was happening, but not willing to question it, I buried my head in her nape and breathed deep, taking in the scent of her sweat, the deeper scent of her body, wanting to remember both, always.

"No one ever sees me," she whispered against my skin.

"I haven't stopped seeing you."

She shook her head. "Not me," she breathed. "Not the real me. Not deep inside."

"I know what that's like. Only I don't allow anyone to see what's really underneath. It's not pretty."

She pulled back and looked into my eyes. "I'm not talking about appearances."

"Neither am I." Feeling the beat of her heart pounding in rhythm with my own, I wanted to believe she would accept me no matter what I'd done. She wouldn't hate me, judge me as evil as I did myself.

She dipped her gaze briefly before searching my eyes again. "I would like to think my mother loved me. She was a disciple. So probably not. It's not one of the six pillars."

"I've spent too long trying to avoid life's rules."

"If that were true, you wouldn't be here."

I saw the shift in her eyes, the moment she remembered why we were here and what we were meant to be to each other. She moved out of my hold. "You're right. We need to go before something else finds us." Then, spying the rock, she snatched it up. "It looks like we won't have any help from this anymore."

"We should find your object."

I stood and held out my hand, eased her to her feet, then guided her to the mouth of the cave. There we stood, staring down into the pit of liquid fire.

"How could I not remember this?"

"Because it's not a sight to remember. Is your object calling to you? Do you feel anything?"

She shook her head, then made to touch her necklace, but stopped at the last, remembering it wasn't there. "Nothing."

I arched my head, seeing for the first time since entering the Ashenlands, the sky, and the first glow of morning light.

"Maybe it doesn't matter if you never find it. Between the two of us, we'll get ourselves out once I fly up there and work out the direction we need to take." I nodded skyward.

She followed my gaze, then, after a while, said, "Do you see that?"

I squinted, saying nothing, then after a pause. "I'd say it's something we don't want to meet."