Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

Marina had trouble getting herself around much. Her emotions were consuming to say the least, only describable as a mixture of anger, sadness and guilt. All the trouble she had caused- for nothing. All she could hope for now was that, perhaps, Griffin could compile evidence on his own and incarcerate her uncle.

“No, no, no. Pretty girls don’t cry, my Lady,” Penny said as she walked into the room with a tray of tea and biscuits. She had been worried about Marina, who had barely eaten a bite the entire day.

“Good thing I’m not a pretty girl, Penny,” Marina gloomily replied, barely making the effort to lift herself from her position in bed.

“I’m not leaving until you eat a biscuit, my Lady” Penny sternly commented. She made her way to cover Marina’s entire visual range in attempt to bring her back into reality.

“I appreciate the sentiment Penny, but I truly have no appetite at this instance. I’ll make my best efforts to attend dinner,” Marina sighed, lifting her head an inch from her pillow.

“Please, my Lady. I know you are in a tough time regarding the end of the courtship, but you can fade away over some silly courtship. You must stay healthy to attract a better match,” Penny said, looking Marina deeply in her eyes. It made Marina uncomfortable, causing her to trace her glance back to her bed.

“Thank you, Penny. I appreciate your efforts,” Marina said, hoping this sentiment might chase Penny back into doing her other duties.

“Alright, then,” Penny said as she started her way toward the bedroom door. “If I do not find you at the dining table for dinner, I’ll single handedly pull you by your earlobes until you eat.”

With her last words, Marina heard her bedroom door close shut. She lifted her upper body slightly, using a hand to grab the cup of tea.

She started drinking the tea without much complaints, but after the thought of Josiah and his tea company surfaced her mind, she was quick to spit the sip of tea out.

If, by some means, he had poisoned her father by the medium of tea, what prevents him from doing the same to her? After all, then he wouldn’t have to worry about her in his house.

Thus, for now, Marina decided against the tea. She stood up from her bedridden state, nearing her window and emptying her cup on the ground beneath her. She might be a bit paranoid, but she preferred being safe rather than dying in the same circumstances her father had.

“My Lady?” Marina heard a distinct voice from behind her door. Leilah.

“Come in,” Marina instinctively called, immediately regretting her actions. If she had just stayed quiet, perhaps Leilah would’ve taken her to be asleep and left her alone, but it was too late now.

The shirt figure of Leilah peeped through the door, somehow causing Marina to immediately burst into a fit of tears. Leilah, at first, didn’t bother to speak, merely giving Marina a heartfelt embrace.

“I understand, my Lady,” Leilah softly whispered. “Pretty girls cry too, you know.”

Marina involuntarily started to chuckle through her tears, finding it comedic that the one maid’s advice contradicted the other’s. Yet, Marina found herself preferring Leilah’s words over Penny’s.

“News surely travels fast in the Cromwell,” Marina giggled, sniffing from the protruding tears.

“Well, my Lady, I believe the staff were just far too happy to have a different conversation at hand other than how awful the Earl had been treating us,” Leilah giggled, using a finger to wipe away a couple of tears from Marina’s cheeks.

“Leilah, why don’t you run from this place? No family bonds you here, yet you remain,” Marina asked, looking at Leilah with a confused expression.

“A family may not bond me here, but I stay here to provide for a family, my Lady,” Leilah kindly responded. “I have two girls at home who I need to take care of, and a husband that also works so hard to bring an income. Though, circumstances aren’t well, we try to see the better side of things.”

Marina had no words to say, merely smiling at Leilah. She was so fond of her two daughters, willing to die for them any day. She felt a heartache, unable to say that about her own mother.

“Was your husband upset when you had two girls?” Marina reluctantly asked.

“Oh, the happiest man on this planet!” Leilah laughed. Marina shared a wide smile, but the sentiment still brought tears to her eyes. Her father had always loved her dearly, even if she happened to be a girl.

“I don’t want to push your boundaries, my Lady, but if you might find any joy in sharing your feelings, I’m more than happy to listen,” Leilah finally said. Momentarily, Marina had forgotten about the wreck she found herself in, preferring to indulge into the lives of others, but the dread re-entered her body.

“I feel hopeless, Leilah,” Marina mumbled, finding those words to be the only capable sentence that might describe her feelings. “I sacrificed so much to get to the bottom of what uncle Josiah had done, but now I find myself more hopeless than before. I can’t continue the investigation with the duke anymore, leaving me wondering what possibly could’ve happened.”

“And the duke, my Lady?” Leilah asked in a soft tone, knowing she was entering emotional boundaries with Marina.

“I sent him a letter, I’m unsure if he had received it yet, but it broke my heart to do so. And I don’t think that I should feel as if I’ve ended a true courtship, but I do,” Marina found herself admitting. She sobbed into the sleeve of her own dress.

“Then don’t leave him, my Lady,” Leilah whispered, placing her hand on Marina’s back in attempts to comfort her.

“I believe it’s far too late now, Leilah,” Marina sobbed. “Nancy threatened me to end the courtship or she might try and expose the suspicious behaviour of Griffin and I. If the truth comes out, I’d be better off six feet in the ground.”

“Do you love Griffin?” Leilah asked, careful with her words as not to further inflict any emotional damage upon Marina.

“Love is a strong word… I-I don’t know. I can’t say exactly what I feel but I do know that I’m upset that our gatherings are over,” Marina mumbled, each memory she had shared with Griffin flashing through her mind.

“Whatever it might be, my Lady. Don’t let it go too easily. Something internally tells me that things would work out like it was meant to, but I am no fortune teller. All I know is that there’s something special growing between the two of you,” Leilah said.

Marina was unsure if Leilah’s words made her feel better or worse, but it certainly awakened an arrangement of emotions within her.

“I don’t know, Leilah, I don’t know,” Marina sobbed, starting to wipe the last tears from her face. She had to look horrendous from the number of tears that had crossed her face that day.

Leilah walked over to Marina’s mirror, pulling out a chair and gesturing for Marina to take a seat. Marina complied, too tired to inquire why.

Leilah picked up a hairbrush from beside her and gently started to untangle Marina’s hair, which looked rather rough after she had lied on her bed for the majority of the day.

“It’ll all be alright, my Lady,” Leilah softly repeated, nearly humming Marina to sleep. Somehow, she felt slightly at peace, even though a deep ache still stung in her heart.

“Oh no, dinner must be any time now,” Marina realised, her posture stiffening in realization.

“Yes, my Lady. Penny told me you promised to attend and that I am to make sure you do,” Leilah smiled. Marina found it unsettling how calm Leilah was acting in her presence.

Marina knew few of what was going on her life at the moment, but she knew well she didn’t want to attend dinner. Leilah could brush her hair all she’d like, but unfortunately that doesn’t change the fact that her face and eyes remained a tear-stained red.

She had to muster up the courage to make her shameful walk down the corridor to the dining room, but allowed Leilah to leave the room first. Eventually, she started taking steps towards the event she had been trying to avoid all day. Being face to face with uncle Josiah.

Silently, Marina approached the dining room where all but Nancy had already been seated. Marina felt everyone’s eyes plastered upon her as she kept her gaze down, her state of crying still apparent in her facial features.

“Good evening, Marina,” uncle Josiah bitterly spat. He looked at Marina from underneath his eyebrows, a strong glare following her as she walked.

“Good evening, my Lord,” Marina softly said, trying to avoid attracting too much attention upon herself.

She thanked the stars that Nancy decided to arrive at that very instance, taking the majority of attention of her. Everyone’s attention except uncle Josiah himself.

The dining room had a thick atmosphere, a couple eyes switching back and forth to Marina and the table, trying not to make it too apparent that they are watching her. Yet, Marina caught glimpse of each eye.

“I’m quite hungry, if I must admit,” Charlotte commented, starting the dinner by grabbing a piece of gammon to place on her plate. The rest of the table followed course. Marina did as well, but was unsure how she could muster the appetite to eat but one bite.

“Ah, my love. I ensured the best dinner for tonight- the majority of this table should be quite happy,” Uncle Josiah snickered, throwing a gaze over to Marina’s side. Marina had to resist the urge to give him a nasty look in return.

“Why, wouldn’t the duke have enjoyed the dinner with us tonight?” Charlotte asked, chuckling between her words. Marina felt her ears start to turn red, anger boiling from within.

“No, he would not, my Lady,” Marina bluntly commented. She took a bite of her dinner, but couldn’t help but feel that the food went down her throat like a stack of needles.

“And why would that be?” Uncle Josiah joined in Charlotte’s snickering, clearly finding joy in upsetting Marina further.

Marina looked up from the dish before her, briefly catching glance of her mother. Her mother looked displeased with the actions of Uncle Josiah and his wife, but she merely pursed her lips and continued eating.

“I think you to be well aware why not, my Lord,” Marina commented, having to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent a burst of anger upon him.

“Don’t you be cheeky with me, young lady. I’m unsure if I could even call you a young lady, since your growing older each day and chased away the one chance of a courtship- even if it be a scandalous one,” Uncle Josiah spat, a piece of meat flying from his mouth in Marina’s direction.

Marina was surprised that she hadn’t bent her cutlery with the strong grip she held them by, trying every possible avenue to release the building anger within her.

“I’d make sure to find someone, Your Grace,” Marina said through gritted teeth, still keeping her gaze down to avoid the icy eyes of the Earl of Lyford.

Marina was positioned in a way that she had a slight view of the kitchen. Inside, she saw Leilah peer from the corner, a displeased look on her face as she stared at uncle Josiah. Marina wanted to share the exact same expression, but found herself unable to do so in his company.

“Haven’t you been saying that for far too long? Almost two-and-twenty years of age, and still a dame without a courtship? I think it’s time for me to arrange a suitor for you,” Uncle Josiah commented, still finding pleasure in berating Marina in front of everyone. “I might get in contact with the Earl of Windermere, he might suit you.”

Marina nearly choked on the spoon of peas she was chewing.

“Archibald?” Marina spat, a sense of desperation echoing in her voice.

The Earl of Windermere was a strange man who was well in his late fifties. He was known for causing brawls between men and generally just being an awful human being. Marina saw this as the equivalent of marrying someone equivalent to her own uncle. The thought of becoming like Charlotte disgusted her.

“Yes, the very one,” Uncle Josiah laughed, knowing well how awful it would be for any girl to join a courtship with the Earl of Windermere. “I’d send an invitation to him tomorrow morning.”

“You can’t do that!” Marina instinctively shouted, causing her Mama to drop the fork she was holding. Leilah jumped from her position in the kitchen.

There was a moment of silence, the only audible thing being Marina’s heaves of desperation. Her uncle, however was slowly starting to gain a prominent shade of scarlet over his entire head. Slowly he rose from his seat, towering over Marina.

“You dare shout at me!” his voice echoed, louder than Marina had ever heard him shout before. “You live in this house and have been nothing scarce of pathetic and utterly useless! You’re a good-for-nothing who I’m kindly trying to help but your too much an ungrateful urchin!”

Marina looked over to her mother, who had somehow found it appropriate to continue eating her meal amidst all the drama. Marina knew her mother was no longer willing to be at anyone’s defence, having given up on life and her relationship with her daughter. Thus, Marina could no longer sit and bite her lip while her uncle berated her. She felt a wave rise in her chest; the anger ready to spill from her mouth.

“How dare you!” Marina shouted, standing to her feet. Uncle Josaih stepped back in surprise of Marina’s uprising, but was quick to regain his feet and carry an intimidating posture, but that no longer threatened Marina. If he wanted to ruin her life, she might as well say what she had been wanting to say for months.

“How dare you treat me, my mother and the workers so poorly if this isn’t your own home! You killed my father for this position and dare take your silly, little emotions out upon me! You are nothing but a cold-hearted murder!”