15. Jamie

15

JAMIE

T he show's break couldn't have come at a better time. Stuck in her disaster zone of a room, she'd rather not go out nor see anyone. Clothes were strewn across the floor like fallen soldiers, empty pizza boxes stacked precariously on the floor, and an army of empty wine bottles glinted accusingly from the corner.

Jamie couldn't pinpoint the last time she'd slept or eaten anything resembling a proper meal, for that matter. Alcohol, it seemed, was the only thing keeping the deafening roar of her thoughts at bay.

It was a good thing the show had gone on a production break else how would she have faced her team? Losers. That's what they were now, thanks to her.

Worthless coach . The words echoed in her head, as she gulped from the whiskey bottle. She couldn't remember the last time she'd consumed this much, the sweet burn a dull comfort against the raging storm of emotions within.

Calls went unanswered, diverted to voicemail. Right now, all she craved was the bleak solace of solitude.

Every time her mind drifted to Jess, her fists clenched. Why did she always fall for the wrong people? Was there a flashing neon sign above her head that screamed Easy Target? The sting of tears pricked at her eyes, but she blinked them back, refusing to give in.

There was no sugarcoating it. The competition was over, the trophy likely gathering dust in Jess' gloating hands. But the real prize, her team's unwavering trust and respect, was shattered beyond repair, and it was all her fault. She'd been naive, blinded by something that felt suspiciously like… love? The thought sent a bitter laugh bubbling up from her chest. Love. What a joke.

The silence in the room was broken only by the rhythmic thud of her own heart. Lost. They'd lost, and it was all on her. The weight of that realization threatened to crush her, the guilt a bitter pill she couldn't swallow.

Jamie scrolled mindlessly through her Instagram feed, the happy faces and celebratory posts on Ultimate Body Battle was all she could see.

The entire platform buzzed with news of the finale. Jess' team, the Bootcamp Brigade, was getting all the glory.

Comments hailed Jess as a strategic genius, the " champion of boot camp ." Articles and fan forums were rife with speculation. Some praised Jess for exploiting the Zen Warriors weaknesses, calling it a savvy game move. " A competition is a competition ," they argued. " Jess won fair and square ."

Others weren't so impressed. A storm of comments trolled Jess for using underhanded tactics. " Unethical!" they cried. " Not a fair battle! " A few wild theories even popped up, suggesting a secret romance between Jess and Jamie, or that Jess was some kind of super-spy who'd infiltrated the Zen Warriors' camp to steal their secrets.

The comments took a darker turn, some criticizing the show's producers for allowing someone " mentally unstable " (referring to Maya's claustrophobia) to participate.

The most vicious comments slammed Jamie. " Stupid coach " was a phrase that kept reappearing, a painful confirmation of her self-loathing.

But there were glimmers of support too. A few messages praised her for being a " true believer in love ," even if it backfired.

Others expressed their excitement for a " Bootcamp Brigade victory lap ," picturing Jess hoisting the trophy aloft.

With a self-disgusted scoff, she slammed her phone face down on the bed.

The negativity was a bitter pill to swallow, but in a way, it was easier to digest than the sickening praise Jess was receiving.

Burying her head in the pillow, Jamie shut out the virtual world and its harsh judgments. Right now, all she could believe was the chorus of her own inner critic—the one that branded her a stupid coach.

And all she could think of was Jess' betrayal. She had thought there was something real building between them. She had thought she was falling in love with Jess, but none of it was real. It was all just a mirage. Clearly for Jess it had just been about sex.

She kept crying when she thought of Jess and their time together.

Jesus, Jamie. Pull yourself together.

Desperate for a break from the relentless negativity swirling in her head, Jamie stumbled out of her apartment.

Aimlessly wandering the streets, she stumbled upon a flickering neon sign that read Open Mic Night: Spill Your Guts . On a whim, she pushed open the door, seeking refuge in the dimly lit bar.

The bar, aptly named The Rusty Compass, reeked of stale beer and something vaguely floral, courtesy of a faded Hawaiian air freshener struggling near the dusty stage.

A mix of patrons filled the mismatched furniture—tattooed hipsters with ironic mustaches shared booths with couples on awkward first dates, all united by the flickering light of the open mic sign.

She found a seat at the back, the low murmur of the crowd a comforting white noise. Ignoring the sticky film on the table, she ordered a drink.

On stage, a young woman with fiery red hair stood bathed in a spotlight. Then, she began to speak.

Her voice, initially shaky, gained strength as she spoke. "They say heartbreak hardens you, turns you cynical. But I refuse to believe that. This ache, this rawness… it's proof I loved, proof I dared to be vulnerable."

Jamie felt a jolt. The poet's words struck a chord deep within her. Was she allowing her bad experiences to taint her entire perception of love?

The woman continued, her voice gaining conviction. "I won't let the scars define me, make me afraid to open myself up again. Love isn't a guarantee, but it's a chance worth taking. And if someone can't handle the entirety of who I am, love flaws and all, then maybe they weren't meant to be a part of my story anyway."

Jamie listened, captivated. Each verse echoed a part of her own experience—the sting of betrayal, the self-doubt, the fear of risking love again. But the poem offered a glimmer of hope, a gentle reminder that heartbreak, though painful, didn't have to be the end of the story.

Maybe, just maybe, the poet was right. Maybe love wasn't a competition to be won, but a journey to be shared. Maybe love wasn't dead after all, and maybe, she wasn't a fool for believing in it.

As the final words faded, the young woman on stage, her eyes shining with a newfound strength, took a deep bow amidst the applause.

The applause faded, leaving a comforting silence in its wake. Jamie sat there, still lost in the echo of the poet's words, when a voice snapped her back to reality.

"May I join you?"

She turned, her breath catching in her throat. Jess stood there; a hesitant smile plastered on her face.

How? How had she found her here, in this hidden corner of the city? Had she been here the entire time?

Before Jamie could voice her bewilderment, Jess spoke again, her voice laced with a vulnerability that sent shivers down Jamie's spine. "Please, I'd like to talk to you, can you spare me a minute?"

Jamie stared at her, a whirlwind of emotions battling inside her. Finally, she found the strength to nod curtly, unable to tear her gaze away from the woman who had so deeply hurt her.

Jess slid into the seat opposite Jamie, her eyes filled with a newfound vulnerability.

"I know this is sudden, but I've been… so depressed since the show ended. I even had to see a therapist."

Jamie scoffed despite herself.

"I thought winning would make me happy, but instead, it's been a constant reminder of how I hurt you and betrayed you. I hurt the one person I cared about the most, purely to win and get good TV ratings and I have regretted that ever since."

Jamie's gaze remained fixed on the stage, a million questions churning in her mind.

"The therapist made me realize I need to find myself, to stop dwelling on the past hurt because otherwise… I might be hurting the people who care about me."

Jamie smirked. "So, the therapist finally figured out you were some ruthless mastermind."

Jess continued despite her taunt. "I, uh, actually stumbled into this bar by accident, and when I saw you walk in… it felt like… fate."

Jamie raised an eyebrow, skepticism etched on her face. "Fate?"

Jess nodded, her shoulders slumping slightly. "I know I've messed up, Jamie. I've been selfish. The therapist called it competitive trauma . But that's no excuse for what I did."

A heavy silence descended upon them, broken only by the clinking of glasses from across the room. Taking a deep breath, Jess met Jamie's gaze head-on.

"Jamie, I'm sorry. I'm deeply sorry for what I did. I… I care about you. More than you can imagine. I messed up, but my feelings for you are real. I love you. I fell in love with you on that beach under the moonlight. And I just… I had to say it."

Jamie stared at her, the poet's words swirling in her mind. Forgive. Love again. Was it foolish? Was it naive? But as she looked at Jess, she decided to give it a chance.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me now, Jamie, Or maybe ever. But I had to let you know. What we shared, the way I felt… it was real."

Jamie remained silent, a battle raging within her. The hurt was still fresh, a throbbing wound. Yet, the raw honesty in Jess' eyes sparked something. Not forgiveness, not yet, but a reluctant understanding.

"I'll be heading out now," Jess finally stated, pushing herself up from the chair.

Jamie's gaze snagged on Jess' gaunt face, the telltale dark circles under her eyes. "Why do you look like you haven't eaten in days?" she blurted out before she could stop herself.

Jess gave a helpless shrug as her only response.

Suddenly, a strange impulse took hold of Jamie. "I, uh, actually have some ground beef, ricotta cheese, and marinara sauce in my fridge. I could whip up your favorite lasagna if you want."

Jess' eyes widened in disbelief. "Really? I'd love some."

"This isn't some grand gesture. I just don't want to see a woman faint on my watch," Jamie warned, her voice hardening slightly.

"Thank you, Jamie. It means a lot."

"By any chance, did you bring your car?" Jamie asked, a hint of practicality returning to her voice.

Jess nodded. "Yeah. I'm parked a few blocks down."

"Lead the way."

As Jess walked out of the bar, Jamie followed close behind. A faint smile, barely perceptible, played on her lips. Maybe forgiveness was a long road ahead, but for now, a simple bowl of lasagna and a shared memory seemed like a good first step.

Stepping into Jamie's apartment reminded them both that the past few weeks had been difficult. Empty beer bottles and takeout containers littered the coffee table and clothes were strewn across the single armchair.

Jamie, as if sensing Jess' internal debate, offered a wry smile. "Looks like we both haven't been exactly picture-perfect lately," she said, catching Jess' eye.

"Yeah, depression does strange things to your housekeeping habits."

Jamie nodded, her expression softening. They headed to the kitchen ready to whip up a good meal when a plate slipped off Jamie's hand. It shattered with a loud snap, the sound echoing through the quiet apartment.

Jess' heart jumped, and she reacted instinctively, grabbing Jamie's hand before she could pull away. "Careful!" she exclaimed.

Their eyes locked. Without a word, Jess leaned in, bridging the gap between them.

The kiss was hesitant at first, a tentative exploration of forgiveness and a lingering spark of affection. Jamie, surprised by the suddenness, met her halfway, her touch gentle, a plea for understanding.

Jess' hand cupped Jamie's face, as the kiss deepened, a wave of emotions washed over them—regret, longing, a desperate hope for a second chance to rebuild the trust that had been so carelessly broken.

Jamie couldn't believe this was happening. The tension between them had been building throughout the car ride, but now, in the intensity of the moment, she couldn't hold back any longer.

With a surge of desire, Jess lifted her off her feet, her hands circling around her waist, and they stumbled through the living room, knocking over a lamp and a few books, but neither of them cared.

They crashed onto the couch, their lips never breaking apart. Jamie's hands were in Jess' hair, tugging and pulling her closer.

In a frenzy, they started tearing off each other's clothes, hungry to feel skin against skin. Jess' shirt was the first to go, quickly followed by Jamie's blouse, both discarded onto the floor without a second thought.

Jamie's heart raced as Jess unhooked her bra, making her breasts spill free. Jess cupped them in her hands, feeling Jamie's nipples harden against her palms.

"Damn, you're so beautiful," Jess murmured, trailing kisses down Jamie's neck and across her collarbone.

Jamie let out a soft moan, arching her back to press closer to Jess who went on her knees between Jamie's legs, stripping her of the last of her clothes and spreading her thighs wide. Jamie felt the rush of desire along with the rush of love.

She had missed Jess, so very very much.

Jess kissed her inner thighs, teasingly close to where Jamie wanted her most. Jamie's fingers tightened in Jess' hair, urging her on.

Jess didn't need any more encouragement. She pressed her lips to Jamie's pussy, her tongue flicking out to taste her. Jamie's hips bucked in response, a gasp escaping her lips.

Jess grinned against her, loving the way Jamie responded to her touch. She sucked and licked, her hands roaming up to squeeze Jamie's breasts, feeling the hard peaks of her nipples.

Jamie was moaning louder now, her hands gripping the back of the couch for support. Jess felt her own arousal growing with every sound Jamie made and she couldn't take it anymore.

She was getting so wet that she couldn't wait to feel Jamie's tongue on her. She beckoned Jamie onto the floor where she stripped herself and adjusted her position so she straddled Jamie's face and leaned down into a 69 position.

Jamie's eyes widened at the sight of Jess' soaking wet pussy above her, and she let out a moan that sent vibrations straight to Jess' core.

"Please Jess, yes," she gasped as Jess lowered herself onto Jamie's eager mouth.

Jess felt a rush of heat as Jamie's tongue made contact, sending sensations of pleasure through her body. She shivered, but managed to focus on reciprocating, leaning down, gripping Jamie's hips and her own tongue darting out to lick Jamie's clit. She could feel Jamie's juices coating her tongue, the taste of her intoxicating.

Jess began to moan louder as Jamie sucked and licked and displayed her hunger for her. Jamie was a master at oral sex, and she knew it. Although it was harder to do with Jess's mouth working on her own pussy at the same time. She felt Jess's body responding and heard her moans and instinctively remembered how Jess liked it best. She reached her hand around and though the angle was awkward managed to penetrate Jess with her fingers while she sucked her clit.

Jess's hips rocked against Jamie's mouth, her arousal building with each passing second. Jamie's spare hand gripped her hip, guiding her movements, urging her on. The room was filled with the sounds of their mutual pleasure, their moans and gasps echoing off the walls.

Jess could feel the heat rising, and she matched Jamie's rhythm, her own fingers pressing inside Jamie and her tongue flicking over Jamie's clit with urgency.

"I'm close… so close," Jess murmured. "Come together?"

"You know what I need," Jamie growled. There was one thing that tipped her over the edge like nothing else. She trusted Jess to take her there.

Seconds later she felt Jess's finger teasing her anus and pushing inside her, exploring, probing, opening her up.

Jamie's orgasm rushed straight through her whole body, crashing over her with overwhelming force. Then Jess cried out, grinding down, her own body climaxing on Jamie's face and gushing sweetly in her mouth.

Fuck.

Jamie felt her own pleasure continuing in waves as though it might never end, and they felt linked together in new ways when Jess finally rolled off and separated their bodies,

She looked at Jamie, her face flushed and glowing with satisfaction. "You're amazing," she whispered, a smile tugging at her lips.

Jamie grinned. "I could say the same about you," she replied, pulling Jess into a deep, lingering kiss.

They pulled apart, holding each other's faces and looking into each other's eyes.

"I love you," Jess said, breathless.

"I love you," Jamie responded, her voice filled with emotion.

They hugged for a warm minute, their sweaty bodies sticking to each other.

"I'll never let you go," Jamie whispered looking into those beautiful eyes.