25. Jason

CHAPTER 25

JASON

"Are you ready for this?"

He scoffs. "Are you ?"

My hand squeezes tightly around Mik's, looking over at his nervous expression. We're sitting in his driveway, tension filling the car. It's both reminiscent and completely different from the last time we were sitting in this exact spot.

Janel is expecting us. Or at least she's expecting Mik. I'm not sure if he warned her I'd be coming with him, but I'm not about to let him face this alone. We were both in the wrong, and we need to own up to it together.

We've been talking all morning about how to do this, how forthright we should be. I agree with Mik that we shouldn't outright lie, but there's no reason for us to make things worse or hurt anyone with the dirty details. Maybe that makes me a coward and a home-wrecker. I just don't see how it would help anyone for us to expose the details of our sordid affair. We're in love and always have been, and while what we did is absolutely wrong—abhorrent, actually, especially since his wife is also my sister—I wouldn't take it back.

Mik hasn't told me a lot about their relationship dynamics, but I don't really want to know too many details. Just like I'm sure Mik doesn't want to hear about all the escapades that didn't make it on the front page of a tabloid.

What matters now is our future. Together.

Mik squeezes my hand back before shutting off the car. He waits for me at the front of the vehicle, and I walk with him up the stone-paved path that leads to the front porch. Janel opens the door before we even reach the steps. She doesn't look pleased to see either of us, but she also doesn't look surprised to see me with him. She stares us down for a few moments before turning and disappearing through the door, leaving it open with the clear expectation that we'll follow.

Mik starts up the front steps, but I reach for his hand and pull him back.

"Everything is going to work out," I tell him, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

It was meant to be quick and discreet. I don't want to flaunt any public displays of affection while we're here to discuss the dissolution of Mik's marriage and my role in their undoing. That would be stupid and cruel.

But Jase walks out before we can pull apart and sees the whole thing. His eyes dart from his dad to me, and then down to our joined hands. Mik tenses, and opens his mouth to explain, but a wide grin cuts across Jase's face. Mik's mouth clamps shut.

Jase bounds down the steps and hugs his dad, and then me. I'd briefly mentioned my conversation with Jase at the cookout while we were talking this morning. Mik was more worried about Jase than anything else.

"Jase, I– "

"Facetime," Jase says, interrupting whatever apology or explanation Mik was about to give. Mik blinks at him and furrows his brow. Jase lifts an eyebrow. "We can video chat, which is probably the most we'd see each other while I'm at school anyway. And if you can, maybe try to make it back for the championship game. I can send you recordings of the games if you want to do our usual post-game break downs. And maybe I can come visit during a break." He takes a breath and smiles again. "You won't miss anything important, Dad."

Mik is shocked silent. He looks overcome as he pulls Jase into a tight hug, wrapping both his arms around him.

"I love you, son."

"I love you, Dad. And I'm happy for you."

"You are?" Mik asks, pulling back so I can get a hug in, too.

"Family get-togethers will never be boring again," Jase says sarcastically. Then he gestures towards the house. "Mom's kicking me out while you have the super awkward conversation you're about to have. When do you leave?"

Mik still looks shocked by how well Jase is taking this, and admittedly, I'm surprised at how well he's taking it all in stride, too. From our conversation at the cookout, I knew he was pretty resigned to the idea that his dad and I had a thing for each other. He wants his dad to be happy. I was worried that taking his dad so far away wouldn't get the same reception, but he didn't even wait for us to tell him anything. He just knew. Just like he knew we were in love all those years ago.

"Uh, a week. Your Uncle Jason moved his interview to give us time to get things, um, settled here. But we'll only be gone for a long weekend, and then we'll be back to get things more…"

"Settled?" Jase finishes for him with a sarcastic smirk. He looks so much like his dad when he does that. "Alright, well, let's do something before you go?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Jase looks at me, and I realize that he's expecting me to be there, too. It fills me with an unexpected surge of emotion. "Definitely."

"Alright then, have fun with that," he says, gesturing towards the house again. Pulling his key fob out of his pocket, he unlocks his small truck and gives a short wave before taking off.

Mik and I share a look between us, his lips quirking. "That went better than expected."

"Yeah, well. We can only hope the rest of them take it anywhere near as well."

Mik scoffs and looks up at the house. He sighs deeply, gives my hand a squeeze, and then climbs the stairs. I follow, praying that we can get through this without the entire family falling apart or being disowned. At worst, at least we know the most important person in this scenario is at least somewhat comfortable, if not entirely supportive, of us being together.

Janel is sitting in the kitchen when we walk in, drinking a glass of wine. Once we're inside, she seems to think better of the seating arrangement and moves to the dining room table. But then she gets up again and moves to the living room couch. And then to a chair that faces the couch.

Both Mik and I wait in uncomfortable silence until she seems settled, and then we join her. We sit on the couch together, but leave a respectable amount of space between us. Janel eyes the space like it's to blame for her current unhappiness. Her eyes are red and puffy, and her hair is in a very uncharacteristically unkempt bun on top of her head. We wait for her to say something, to allow her to have the first and last word, but she just stares at the couch in silence .

Mik gives me a quick look, and I respond to a quick, supportive dip of my chin.

"Janel, I–"

"Don't, Mik. I don't want to hear excuses." She takes a deep breath, and it's apparent she's holding back tears. It twists me up inside that I'm responsible for her being in this state. Mik shuts his mouth and waits again, and after a few more moments of tense silence, she speaks. "I'm… understandably upset. And I don't know how long it will take me to be able to look at either of you without feeling like this." A few tears fall from her eyes, and she wipes them away, but once they start to fall, she can't seem to stem the flow. She buries her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking. Both Mik and I flinch towards her, instinctively wanting to comfort her.

She must sense our movement, because she throws a hand out to stop us. We give her space, allowing her to compose herself so she can get out what she needs to say.

"I'm upset, but I accept this for what it is. And I also recognize my part in this, for not accepting it back then." Her teary eyes look up at Mik, her gaze almost imploring. "I knew, but I pretended not to, because I was scared. And because I believed that getting married and being together was the right thing to do. I'm still not entirely sure it was the wrong thing, except that you've clearly been so unhappy. But we provided a good life for our son." The statement almost comes off questioning, as if she's begging for Mik to acknowledge that they didn't do everything wrong.

Mik nods and gives her a small smile, though his eyes are full of pain. "We did our best," he agrees. "And I'm proud of what we've built here—what you've built, honestly. Because I wouldn't have done any of this without you."

His eyes dart to mine again, and I give him another supportive nod. This was something we discussed this morning, a sort of repentance for our wrongdoing, to make sure that Janel has everything she could need to move through life as she chooses. It's honestly still a cop-out, but it's all we have to offer.

"Which is why I think you should keep it all. Everything. I won't fight you for a single cent of our savings, the house, full ownership of the store. Whatever is in my power to turn over to you, whatever you want. It's yours. You deserve it all."

It's not what she's expecting, that much is clear. More tears fall from her wide eyes as she looks back at Mik in disbelief. I guess maybe she assumed that a divorce meant a long, drawn-out fight to protect her interests, but Mik has no interests other than making sure she and Jase are cared for. He'll still provide for Jase, with a little help from me whether he wants it or not, but he doesn't want Janel suffering because of this. She's suffering enough, coming to terms with her entire marriage imploding and her husband running off with her brother.

When it's clear there's nothing else to say, Mik goes upstairs to pack a suitcase. Janel and I sit in silence for a while, but I have some things I need to say to her, too.

"I didn't come back here expecting this to happen," I say quietly, looking down at my hands before meeting her eyes. "I'd never hurt you on purpose. I hope you know that. And I hope you know how much I love you."

"I know that," she says, sniffing. "And I'm sorry, too. I realized too late just how much I hurt you when I didn't get out of your way. Even before I got pregnant, I felt what you two had, and I was jealous."

"Do you think you'll ever forgive us?" I ask her after a long silence.

She closes her eyes and makes a sound like a cross between a scoff and a sob, and I step forward to wrap her in my arms. I hold her while she cries until we hear Mik's footsteps thumping down the stairs. The basement door opens, and his steps retreat again, probably heading to his office to gather more things.

Janel pulls away from me and wipes her hand over a wet spot on my shoulder. I put my hand over hers, flattening it over my heart.

"I love you, baby sis."

"Take care of him," she whispers before she picks up her empty wine glass and walks into the kitchen. I watch through the doorway as she fills the glass with water and gulps it down.

I back out of the way to give them privacy when Mik enters the kitchen. Most of their conversation is quiet murmurs, but as they move closer to where I'm waiting in the entryway, I overhear them talking.

"I did love you, you know," she says, her voice somewhat muffled.

"I know. And I loved you, too. I do love you," he answers. "I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you needed me to. I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you needed me to be. And I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry, too," she says. "And I'll try to be okay with this. Just give me time, okay?"

"Anything you need."

When I step around the corner, he has her hugged to his chest, lips pressed to her hair. His eyes are clenched tight, the pain he's feeling evident in the lines of his face. But when he opens his eyes again, I see something deeper. I see the same hope that is taking up so much space inside me.

I pick up his suitcase and the messenger bag he dropped in the kitchen when Janel starts ushering us through the door. It's not until we're walking down the sidewalk that I realize Mik has changed into a snug black t-shirt with short sleeves, showing off the tattoos that stop at the elbows. An older couple pushing a dog in a stroller pause and eyes him strangely. Mik greets them with a friendly smile, but they don't respond at all, only look away and shuffle a little faster down the sidewalk.

"Hey Mik," Janel calls out, more loudly than she needed to. "Make my brother happy, okay?"

The old woman, who was still looking over her shoulder at the two of us loading Mik's suitcase, nearly trips on her own feet. I smirk up at Janel as I duck into the car, and reach for Mik's hand as soon as he gets in.

It's all going to be alright.