8. Lira

8

LIRA

M aybe I should temper my frustration with him, but I couldn't bring myself to even attempt to do that. Instead, I found myself pressing a finger into his chest and hissing, "You left me behind so you could face a threat alone. What the hell was that?"

Nightbane jogged to my side, growling faintly. I could hear the confusion in his voice despite him not saying words. He had accepted that Tavish was one of my people, even if it had been begrudgingly, and he wasn't used to us fighting like this anymore.

He exhaled, his breath hitting my face. "Sprite, I had no doubt Eldrin was behind this when Struan mentioned the woman was dying. I don't want you anywhere near the wretched man."

"And you think I want you near him?" I dug my finger in a little harder, wanting to make a point in any and every way possible. "I thought we were equals and going to stand beside one another?" My voice cracked as my heart sank.

His face softened. "That isn't what I meant. You're injured, and I almost lost you last night. If Eiric hadn't glamoured herself as you—" His words cut off as agony lined his face. "I… I can't even allow myself to fathom it because the thought alone has me going insane."

"Don't you think I feel the same way?" The double standard frustrated me more than anything else. "People want to hurt you as well. It isn't just me, and if you want the Unseelie to believe that you view me as an equal, then you need to back up your words with actions. I refuse to be left behind while you run into battle. How would you feel if I did the same thing to you?"

"You don't think I know how that feels? Watching someone rush into danger while you get left behind? Remember, I had to watch you come close to dying so often in the gauntlet." His fingers tangled into his dark hair, causing pieces to fall across his forehead. "Something that I never should've pushed upon you, and I never want you to experience anything close to that again. Being with me makes even your wings targets, and an Unseelie took that shot the first chance she got. Every time something happens, you're the one who gets the brunt of the punishment, and I'm so tired of not being able to protect you."

As turmoil and guilt swirled through him, I wanted to give in. But that wouldn't improve our situation. In fact, it would do the opposite and empower him to continue pushing me aside when it mattered the most. I couldn't allow the fated-mate bond to influence me to bend when I needed to stand straighter than ever. "How could you protect me when you left me behind?" I took a step back, removing the temptation to fall into his arms. "That could've been exactly what Eldrin wanted! Then I could have been imprisoned somewhere so one of his loyalists could drain me of my blood."

He flinched, revealing that he hadn't considered that.

"Furthermore, when have I ever asked you to save me?" I patted my chest. "Because I don't believe I ever have. Both my sets of parents ensured that I could defend myself. Even on Earth, Mom and Dad taught Eiric and me how to defend ourselves if we got into trouble. I need you to trust me like I do you—trust that we can fight beside each other. I refuse to play it safe while you stick your neck out."

"Is that more Earth speak?" His brows furrowed. "Because I don't believe I've ever stuck my neck out. It seems like a peculiar thing to do, and I hope you'd inform me if I looked foolish."

I laughed, unable to stop myself in time. I loved how he seemed more perplexed than amused by Earth sayings. Finnian ate the information up, but Tavish seemed to believe each figure of speech was a complex problem he'd rather do without.

"It is Earth speak." I rolled my eyes, trying to force my expression back into indifference. "It means I won't hide in our bedchamber while you put yourself in danger. It's really rather simple."

He smirked. " Our bedchamber?"

My pulse froze, and I tilted my head back. I couldn't believe I'd just assumed that his bedroom was ours, but it was too late to yank it back. " Your bedchamber. I just meant—"

"You had it right before," he interjected and took my hand. "It is ours . It's just the first time I've ever heard you say that, and I really enjoyed it. I know you haven't made any changes to make it feel more like your own, but love, everything that is mine is also yours."

Chest warming, I squeezed his hand. I could feel the truth of his words through our bond, but that wasn't all that I needed. "Then I need that to include our enemies and danger as well. I want it all, Tavish. I want us to be beside each other in all ways. We're stronger together, and though I know when we fight, we tend to get split up, we're still working toward the same goal and can protect each other."

He huffed and leaned his head back against the wall. "I can feel this is important to you, and you're right. If you tried leaving me behind to fight, it wouldn't work. I'd fly after you the same way you did after me this morning. But all I ever want is to keep you safe and happy."

My anger vanished, leaving my shoulders feeling lighter than when Struan had informed us about the issue this morning. "And I want the same for you, but we both have to remember that we aren't each other's parents. We're lovers, friends, and equals who embrace everything, even challenges, together."

"I can agree to that, even if it is begrudgingly, as long as we acknowledge that there might be a situation where the other person must be part of the battle." Tavish cupped my face and leaned forward. "And we need to realize that there are times when it could be best if one of us removed ourselves from the threat, such as if one of us is at significant risk. I don't want to make a vow that can't be broken and gets us both into trouble."

I hadn't considered this a vow, but I could see his point. We were coming to an understanding about how each of us wanted to be treated. "Fine, since you're including yourself in the equation."

He smirked. "I figured I had to in order to get your agreement."

"Then you assumed correctly."

The buzz from his hands on my skin had my annoyance with him fading away.

Nightbane huffed, no longer worried about what was brewing between us, and trotted back to the bed, where he lay down at the foot of the mattress.

"I didn't mean to upset you, but I understand why you were." He kissed my forehead tenderly. "My intent was anything but malicious. You're my entire realm… more important than anything else, including my people. I understand that you can protect yourself. I've seen you overcome the odds way too many times. I just don't want you to have to."

Lifting my head, I kissed him gently. I know you weren't being mean or thought me incapable. If I believed either of those was the reason, we wouldn't be having a conversation right now. I'd be forced to prove myself to you with a sword.

I'll spar with you any day, Princess. He winked but then frowned. Which brings up another point. I need to retrieve my sword from your mother—er—mom.

Even in my mind, he sounded strange using mom because, in Ardanos, we called our parents mother and father.

I understood this was important to him, even more so now that Eldrin had made sure everyone knew Tavish no longer had his father's sword. Though I found that part a little silly, I understood that the sword itself was sentimental to my mate. Why don't we eat some breakfast and find Mom so we can retrieve it? Then we can check on Finnian and Lorne.

I'd normally try to convince you to return to bed, but we already had a late start, and we need to inform Caelan of what transpired in the prison. Hopefully, he can help discern who is loyal to me and who is still following Eldrin beyond those already imprisoned for speaking out against me. His unease filtered through the bond, and my chest constricted.

We had no clue who was truly an ally or enemy.

My knees weakened, but I didn't want Tavish to realize how much that impacted me. Then let's go and see if we can find leverage against Eldrin. The last thing I wanted was for him to get the vows he was so desperate for from Tavish and my parents. Vowing that we wouldn't harm him meant that he could go after both crowns, and we could never eliminate the threat.

That thought sent a shiver running down my spine.

One day, I want us to fly away and find a small island for only the two of us to stay on for a few days. He smiled crookedly, reminding me of the boy I'd once known. We can swim, make love, and even bask in the sun if that would make you happy.

Now that sounds like a plan. I kissed him again, fighting the urge to devour him.

He groaned, taking my hand and pushing away from the wall. He then opened the door, causing Nightbane to leave the mattress once more and hurry to follow us.

The three of us walked in silence, and soon, we entered the dining hall, where a long rectangular table seated sixteen. Five places had been set at the end near the windows overlooking the kingdom, and two servants flanked the window, waiting to serve.

My skin pebbled as I remembered the previous time I'd come here. I'd been a prisoner, and Tavish still believed that he would kill me.

Mother and Father sat on one side of the table with Caelan across from them. Mom and Dad stood by the window between the servants, looking at the kingdom outside as well as scanning for threats within these walls.

Tavish led me to where Caelan sat and pulled out the seat next to him, directly across from my mother, for me, then sat on my other side.

Mother wrinkled her nose as she played with the fish on her plate, though she had only a few bites left of the mushroom. Father had managed to eat about half of each, and I couldn't help but notice that he'd shoved several sizable pieces of fish to the side like he didn't plan on eating them.

Fae didn't enjoy meat but could tolerate fish.

The older servant bowed and went to the kitchen.

"We've just been informed about what transpired this morning." Caelan took a bite of his fish. "We expected you two to be down before now, so we assumed you weren't coming."

"We usually don't wait on each other for the first meal of the day." Tavish slid into his seat. "Why would that change now?"

"In Seelie, we eat all meals together." Father lifted his glass of water and took a large gulp.

Tavish's jaw clenched.

Not wanting him to challenge Father, I leaned back in my seat. "You aren't in your kingdom anymore, or did you forget?" He needed to be reminded that this wasn't his kingdom… even if Seelie were currently guarding it.

Warmth filled Tavish's and my bond as Father stilled.

I braced for an unpleasant response, but he remained silent and ran a hand through his brown beard. "You're right. This isn't our kingdom, so our expectations and rules shouldn't apply here."

Mother smiled but raised a hand to hide it.

"I can imagine it's hard to come to another kingdom and remember that you aren't the ruler in charge." Tavish rolled his shoulders, trying to relax. His words were a little stiff, but they lacked anger. Both men were trying to get along for me.

Not wanting to waste the goodwill between them, I pivoted the conversation to what had happened in the prison cells then let Tavish take over. Father needed to see that Tavish was a worthy ruler, the same as him.

The older servant returned with Tavish's and my food. Someone had taken a bite from each piece of fish and mushroom on our plates. I swallowed, not enjoying the thought of eating the items.

Since we're unsure who is ally or foe, Sine has been taste-testing the food to ensure it's not poisoned. Tavish placed a hand on my thigh and squeezed. The food is fine, or she wouldn't have served it.

How do you know we can trust her? I wasn't thrilled about eating after someone, but I knew that was the Earth-raised side of me coming out. The fae didn't care, especially if it served a purpose.

Sine has worked for the royal family her entire life. I trust her, and you know I would never risk your life. He arched a brow and took a bite of his food, proving his point.

If he was wrong, then we'd both be in the same situation. I followed his lead, hating the stringy texture of the fish. I'd gotten spoiled by all the breads, jams, honey, and sweets back in Seelie. There was nothing like that here. Yet more things the Unseelie didn't have due to their forced relocation.

The others continued the conversation around the mishap this morning and the capture of Eiric, and I worked on eating. If I wanted to heal Finnian and Lorne, I needed to be at full strength, even if I didn't feel hungry.

When Tavish informed the table about Eldrin's stipulation for revealing how to free me from the agreement with the dragons, Caelan growled, "Blighted abyss. Do we even believe that he knows something that would help?"

"He was clear that he does, in fact, know of a way to release Lira from the contract." Tavish finished his last bite of mushroom. "And he knows that I won't risk losing her."

"Nor do I want to hand my daughter over to those dragons after the stunt he pulled in Gleann Solas." Father rubbed his temples. "I knew better than to ally with the dragons, but our entire realm had been blanketed in darkness."

"Your Majesty, you did what you felt was right at the time." Dad lifted both hands.

Mom nodded, her left hand resting on Tavish's sword. "I even advised you to make the agreement."

"I still don't understand how Father could cover the realm." Tavish leaned back in his seat. "I'm not strong enough for that, not even when I reconnected with the Unseelie land after we fled Caisteal Solais, so he wouldn't have been either."

As soon as I finished my last bite, I drained my glass of water, wanting to get rid of the taste. "Something must have caused it."

"Then that's what we will determine." Now that we were all finished, Caelan stood. "I'll do some research and see if I can find out how it could happen."

Father and Mother rose as well.

"That sounds like a good strategy." Father pointed at himself, Mother, Mom, and Dad, adding, "The four of us will check in with the Seelie guards in the village to ensure they haven't noticed anything worrisome from the dragons."

Knowing that the request would look better coming from me instead of Tavish, I placed my palms on the table and got to my feet. "Speaking of danger, I see that Mo—Hestia has Tavish's royal sword. Since he's been amenable to having you here and even confiscated his people's weapons, I think he should have his sword back." I hated sounding less than fully confident, but I didn't want to hurt the progress our two peoples had made. The truce still held on by a thread, but it could be severed at any second.

"I think that's a reasonable request," Mother replied, placing a hand on Father's shoulder.

She wanted to bridge the gap too, and I further reconsidered my original position regarding my parents. They needed time to acclimate to me not being who they remembered, the same as I needed to adjust to them now.

"He already has a sword anyway." Father bit his bottom lip as if he was trying not to say more. "Might as well."

Tavish's relief flooded our bond, making me realize how much he wanted the sword back.

He moved around my chair with his hand extended. "The sword is important to me."

Possessing it would give Eldrin one less item to use against him.

Mom unsheathed the sword and held it out so that Tavish could take it by the hilt.

But when Tavish reached for it, Mom yanked the sword back and said, "No."