27. Chapter 27

Alec's dark, musky flavor fills my mouth, and I savor it. The taste of him on my tongue and the involuntary sounds wringing out of him almost make me come. I'm high on it and overcome that he gave himself to me without reservation.

I'm desperate to give him the same thing.

It's mind-blowing that he doesn't know how incredible he is. He is embarrassed by his love of sexy underwear. If I could, I would keep him naked except for his mangerie. Raiding stores to buy him new sets sounds presumptuous, but I don't care.

No one has ever responded to my hair the way Alec has. It fascinates him, staring at it, touching it, but tonight…tonight, my hair became another way to touch him. An extension of my fingers and tongue. The way his muscles twitch and his fine hairs stood up as my hair brushes over him captivates me.

Alec hesitantly trusts me with his body. Something from his past has a grip on him, and I hate that.

Offering myself up so he can indulge in his fantasy is intoxicating. His goddamn dimples turn me to mush and taste like sunshine. He is truly one of a kind.

I'm on all fours while he whispers wicked things into my ear, rolling the condom on. I've never been one for talking during sex until Alec.

"Your ass is begging for my cock. Sucking my fingers in and not letting go. You gonna squeeze my cock with your sweet ass." Alec's question is a command and I'm keening and nodding.

He wraps my hair around his fist and tugs so my head snaps back and my back arches.

"You are the most magnificent man I've ever seen. A fucking real-life Viking desperate for my cock." Alec's tip teases my hole. "Your ass is mine. Tell me who your ass belongs to."

"It's yours, Alec, all yours." I've been on edge for so long that I'd say anything to take his cock. He could demand I tattoo my ass with his name and I'd readily agree. "Pleeeeasssse," I plead, pushing back.

I hear the smack before I register he's spanked me. We both freeze with surprise. Alec rubs the spot he hit and murmurs, "Sorry, not sorry."

It's so Alec that I exhale a laugh and drop my head to the bed. His spanking had the intended effect, and I'm not on edge anymore.

"You get my cock when I'm ready to give it to you." He pours more lube down the crack of my ass.

"Yes, ?lskling." I meant to tease him, but my voice is breathy and needy.

"Fucking hell!" Alec says as he bottoms out in one stroke, taking me to heaven.

His grip on my hair tightens as he slams into me with his other hand clenching my hip. The sound of our bodies crashing together fills the room. His fingers are going to leave marks and I shudder. I'm aroused by his marks on me, leaving part of himself behind on my body.

"You squeeze me so tight, teasing me. Fuck, your ass was meant to take me. And you take it so good. Watch yourself stretch around my cock."

I thirst to breathe Alec's air forever and never let go. Half the words coming out of my mouth are Swedish and the other half gibberish. Alec lets go of my hair, wraps his hand around my throat to pull me up to his chest, and I'm gone. With the change in the angle, his cock is stroking my prostate and my eyes roll back into my head.

Alec fucks me like a demon and holds me like I'm precious. It's too much and I can't hold back. "I'm going to come. Fuck me as long as you want."

An unholy screech exits my mouth as Alec pulls out of me. He flips me onto my back and slams back into me as his body blankets mine. His kisses own my mouth. He owns me. Good or bad, better or worse, Alec owns me and there's not a damn thing I can do to change it.

"Let me see your face when you come all over my cock," Alec growls and pre-cum leaks between us. "Let go for me, Viking."

My balls draw up. Again. And my eyes drift shut, riding the crest before my orgasm.

"Keep those beautiful blue eyes on me. Let me see how thoroughly I wreck you," Alec demands and I obey, lost in the lust of his brown eyes. He fists my cock and orders, "Come."

Lightning sears my body and my brain dissolves around the biggest hit of euphoria. Alec's expression of rapture doubles the sensations. As if he can't believe how good this is between us.

He fucks me through my tremors and I'm getting hard again. His dimples are half-formed with the realization, but his hips buck and he's on the verge of coming. I'm torn between breathing in his moans with a kiss and watching his pleasure play out on his face.

Alec slams in deep and grinds, hitting my prostate and sending sparks through me. He bellows as he pulls out, tears off the condom, and comes all over my cock and drenches my abs.

"Von," he whispers, rubbing his cum into my cock. Claiming it as his. "I don't think I'll ever get enough of you." His words are low and not meant for me to hear.

The moment unfolds and spreads between us, unsaid emotions building.

I don't think I can get enough of him either. Ever.

Reality creeps in. This isn't a love story. It's a physical release. It's mutual attraction. I might want forever with him, but it's not possible––I'm leaving. I convince myself he doesn't mean it. He's clearly stated he doesn't want a relationship.

It's the lie I tell myself. And instead of facing the emotions bubbling up inside me, I channel Alec and say, "So round two, then."

"Challenge accepted." Alec laughs and drops his full weight on top of me.

"You liked it when I held you down." I can't keep the smugness from my voice as we recover. Alec likes control, and I don't mind giving it to him. But there's satisfaction in him asking for me to be in control. A rarity I don't take for granted.

Alec throws an arm over his eyes.

I could watch him breathe all day. Sex has never been this good with anyone else—man or woman. It's beyond the physical. I want to crawl inside his head and know every thought running through his brain.

"I really need to google Swedish swearwords so I can call you an asshole in your own language." His words are breezy with a smile as I trace the tattoos on his forearm, hoping for verbal confirmation that he liked it. "I felt safe," he mumbles into his arm.

For a split second, my body goes rigid with fear. I can't assume he always feels safe with me when I push him out of his comfort zone. I continue to stroke his arm and let our breathing slow. We're in a heap, so I stretch out, using my body to bracket his. A need to create safety and security for him.

"Please explain," I whisper. "Did I ever do anything to make you feel unsafe?"

Alec surges up, draping his chest over mine so we're face to face. "No, Von. Never. I didn't mean to imply that."

"You didn't," I say and Alec drops so we're sharing the pillow, bodies connected. "But can you tell me more?" My need to know isn't as important as his comfort.

Alec's eyes flutter shut for a minute. "It's one of the things I knew in the back of my mind but never thought about. The need to feel safe. As you can imagine, I feared for my safety growing up gay with pious bigoted parents. I had to hide who I was. Sneaking a kiss or copping a feel over clothes with some guy but always on the lookout for danger, the danger of getting caught. And then I went to college and tasted freedom. I was never out everywhere, but I didn't have to hide.

"I let my guard down over Christmas break." Alec pauses with a smirk. He's clearly going for casual indifference but failing.

I hum so he knows I'm listening.

"Anyway, I met a guy on an app and my sister saw us grinding on each other against the side of a restaurant. She told my parents who disowned me and cut me off. Enter the casual hookup who wants to be my boyfriend, and I let him take care of me because it was that or be homeless. I should have chosen homeless, by the way." Alec grimaces.

He's told me some of this before, but I hope he'll tell me the worst parts. The parts he doesn't want to remember because they changed him and that pain is hard to heal from.

"Part of me knew things weren't right with my ex, but I was young and getting dicked down on the regular and thought it was stupid to complain. He called me stupid if I questioned things." Alec's eyes cut away.

"I bottomed for him." His chest heaves and his breathing hitches.

It's unclear if he's embarrassed or feels guilty that he hasn't bottomed for me. I inwardly cringe, knowing how badly I misjudged him and probably hurt him. It's unimaginable to expect more than a person is willing to give. It breaks every rule of consent. I have an unhealthy amount of dislike for his ex.

"We always had sex in our bed, with the door locked, me on all fours. Never, ever anything else. I've wondered if it was so he didn't have to look at me or if he was afraid he'd give himself away if I saw him during the act. What would I have seen? The truth that he didn't care about me, that he was a cheater, that he was a drug addict?" Alec sighs, resigned to never knowing the answers.

"I came home one day, and he was flat on his back getting railed by his friend. Or according to Mads, his drug dealer." Alec's eyes hold the pain of betrayal all these years later, and I am glad he is not alive.

I tell him with my lips on each of his eyelids that I'm sorry for his pain.

"Now I wonder if the drug dealer forced him to have sex or he traded sex for drugs. Did he have trauma from being a bottom? Did I make it worse? Mads took my scar and sliced it open, all in the name of helping me. I'm not ready to forgive her."

I'm searching his gorgeous brown eyes to see if he'll say more. I hate his parents. I hate his ex, which is less satisfying because he's dead. I hate Madyson for thinking she knows best. No one made this incredible man feel safe. Violence simmers under the surface to fight the injustice of it.

I'm lucky to have understanding and compassionate parents. My parents pressured me to succeed in fotboll, but I truly believe they have my best interest at heart and support my decisions as long as I'm happy. It breaks my heart that Alec doesn't have that. It's disgusting to use religion to turn your back on your child.

He reaches over to grab something out of the nightstand and I watch him pop one of the worst candies ever made in his mouth. My face must show my disgust.

"They're antacids, not candy." He shows me the package.

I gather him in my arms and murmur in Swedish everything in my head that I can't say out loud. Thinking back to every time he had candy.

My lips press his in a gentle kiss. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how upset you were when you needed medication. I'm sorry you had to go through that with your ex. I never want to be someone who puts you in a situation that you feel threatened."

If I had known this, I wouldn't have held back from attacking Jayce when he laid a hand on Alec.

Alec cups the back of my head and nuzzles into my neck. "My warrior Viking with a soft heart." There's an ache in his voice that detracts from his teasing.

"Promise you will tell me if you're feeling exposed." I wrap both arms around him and fling a leg over his thigh, cleaving him to me.

"You make me feel exposed but in a good way. You see me as no one ever has. When you put your hand on my back, you were saying, ‘I've got you, I'll watch your back.' And I could relax."

My heart is so full that it might combust. I'm falling for this man and my heart is his, whether he wants it or not. There's no turning back. In the bar, when he said I claimed him as mine, I did. I don't think there's anything I wouldn't do for this man. I'm holding onto the hope he declares I'm his.

I'm raw and my emotions are too close to the surface. If I tell him I will always protect him, or he brought my heart back to life, or I see a future with him, I'm nervous he won't be ready to hear it. Honestly, I'm ready for all the things I hold in my heart for him. But I keep it simple.

"I will always have your back and if anyone wants to hurt you, they'll have to go through me to do it," I vow.

Alec likes it when I get possessive, and if his hardening cock is a sign, my words hit their mark.