21. Chapter 21
There aren't any words in any of the languages I know to respond to him because I'm helpless. Drowning in the ocean of his attention. His brown eyes stare into mine and wave after wave of emotions crash between us.
I've never felt so emotionally connected as if everything that passes through him to me, the passion and lust as well as fear, insecurity, and anxiety.
Underneath it all is his warmth and I let it wash over me.
My instinct is to hold him, but that isn't what he needs in this moment. Alec needs to be in control and his emotions are running away from him. I close my eyes and hear him exhale as if he had been holding it in.
The room fills with the sounds of our heavy breathing, and I relish the heaviness in the air. I open my eyes, pitch forward to hover over him, and let my hair create a curtain around us. In case he's worrying over his underwear, I say, "How many presents do you have for me?"
"Viking, for you"—he pauses, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger, and I let my forehead fall to his—"I could wrap another present or two."
My lips press to the tip of his nose and I can't hold back my curiosity. "Do you wear them every day?"
"Nope, those are special occasion wears."
"Hmmm." His hand is cupping the side of my head, and I lean into his touch. "What was the special occasion the first night?" I don't mention his parents, but I'm sure he understands.
Alec silently assesses me and I think I've asked something too personal. But he finally says, "That night they were a reminder that my parents don't have a hold on me anymore. I don't need their approval to be who I am. It was a silent fuck you." He shrugs, but there is pain in his eyes.
"They are the ones missing the opportunity to be loved by you. They will shrivel and die in their small-minded righteousness." It is unbelievable how parents can claim to love God and turn their backs on their children. It's disgusting.
"Awww, Viking, you like me." Alec resorts to his surface-level voice, probably to avoid the topic of his parents, and I agree. "Which is why I rewarded you with your present. You are a special occasion. Congrats." Alec wiggles his fingers in some sort of sexy sign language that I don't understand.
Alec has been so unselfish and has given me so much more than orgasms. Today he sparked my imagination and unleashed things inside me I have the courage to tap into. The scope of what he has done is monumental. There is substantially more to him than I believed.
He puts on a confident face and uses his looks to charm and flirt. But I've seen the insecure and uncertain Alec. It's humbling he feels safe enough with me to show that side.
His choice of underwear is so incredibly hot I could orgasm thinking about it. I hope to show him how good it feels to have his ass played with and let a man give him pleasure. To give him what he's been missing.
Soon I will fuck him until he overloads on dopamine. He's not ready for that, but another plan comes to mind.
"I am going to make you a special occasion." I lift off his spent dick, quickly clean up our mess, and start a shower for us. Alec follows me in and surrenders to my touch. I show him how much today meant to me.
His trust is a privilege I broke when I took my ex"s reaction to my fame out on him, but I intend to earn it back.
He's holding tension in his body, struggling to surrender completely. My soapy hands roam, tenderly touching every inch of his skin. I purposely avoid his groin and ass. I massage his scalp while I shampoo his hair and he groans in appreciation. Once his shoulders drop from his ears, I soap his dick and balls. His indecent moan sets me on fire.
"May I?" I look him in the eye as I bring a handful of bubbles to his ass. He nods, and the tension is back. "I will never do anything you don't like. I'm going to hold you to your word that you will tell me if you're uncomfortable or it is not pleasurable."
Alec nods and I understand giving up control is unusual for him, so I don't pressure him to use his words. That would be hypocritical and we already covered consent.
I kneel before him.
So he's not overwhelmed by my size and has a sense of control. Once his ass is clean, I slide a palm under his ass, angling myself so I can suck his balls while I jack him with my other hand. When Alec threads a hand through my hair, I glance up into his molten brown eyes. I get a twinge in my chest, and this is how I want him––focused on pleasure.
"Fucking hell, Viking." Alec's voice is breathy.
My fingers run over his taint, around my mouth on his balls. He's fully hard and his dick points straight at me as if daring me not to pay attention to it. I oblige. While I suck him, I use one hand to knead his ass cheek.
With the lightest of touches, I stroke his rim. His muscles tense and I swallow him down my throat. My moan echoes in the shower stall.
I throw one of his legs over my shoulder to open him up. Alec thrusts into my mouth then pushes back on the hand at his hole.
His pupils are blown and the sounds coming out of his mouth spur me on.
I'm high off of knowing how much this is turning him on. He's only known a fraction of the bliss his body is capable of and I will be the one who unlocks this desire in him. The only one he'll let touch his ass. The only one he'll let fuck him.
These thoughts are too possessive for our relationship. I'm leaving at some point.
Alec isn't a man I can keep.
I can't help myself.
I have to taste him and trust that I can make him forget the past. My tongue replaces my fingers at his rim. His thigh muscles clench and I hope it's from pleasure and not anxiety. I lap at him and growl when his flavor hits my tongue. Forcing myself to go slow, I give him the opportunity to stop this. His grip on my hair tightens but doesn't pull my head away. I take that as a sign to continue. Spearing him with my tongue, his perfect ass melts for me.
I'm gone. There is only Alec. My craving is animalistic and the driving need to forget the fake part of our relationship and demand that he be mine is overwhelming.
To distract these thoughts, I pull back just enough to look up at Alec. It's a mistake. Seeing my face takes Alec out of the moment and his body locks up. I stay on my knees and palm his dick to reassure him without words. Words are useless right now. He doesn't need verbal reassurance. He's fighting a conditioned response to flee.
The water starts to chill, and a change might get us back on track. I'm not willing to push him too far, but I'm not done with him tonight.
"Come here, ?lskling." I lead Alec out of the shower, dry him with a soft towel, and situate him in front of the sink.
Alec stares at me in the mirror and I keep eye contact while kissing his neck. I rest my chin on his shoulder and ask, "Do you want to continue?"
There is uncertainty in Alec's eyes, but he says, "Yes."
I guide his palms to the countertop and nudge his legs apart with mine. Our eye contact in the mirror hasn't broken, and I watch him watch me kiss the pulse hammering in his neck. He understands I will be careful with him.
"Watch," I demand, stroking his cock. When he whimpers, I pull his hips back and spread his cheeks. "I could eat you for every meal."
Alec's fingers flex, and he pushes his ass back, widening his legs.
Then I drop to my knees again.
In this position, he won't be able to see me but can watch himself receive pleasure to keep him in the moment.
His balls draw up and I tug them to pull him back from the brink so I can eat my fill.
"You're not coming until I'm done with you."
Alec's begging while I bury my face between his firm cheeks to tongue fuck him. He's shaking and crying that he can't hold off any longer. I am starving for his cum. I've earned every drop. My hands grip his hips to turn him and his rock-hard dick greets me, the head swollen and purple.
Opening my mouth, his tip rests on my tongue as I greedily drink. Alec is beautiful. His brown eyes are enormous with astonishment and desire. His mouth opens in a silent scream while his fingers knot in my hair, pushing in on my scalp. Seeing him in a state of euphoria and knowing I'm responsible has me nearly tipping over the edge.
I'm so hard it borders on pain, but I'm lost in a haze of lust.
Alec returns the favor.
Dimples will be my undoing. Slow-acting kryptonite.
I wake at sunrise, sore and sated. Alec is curled into me and his lashes fan over his cheekbones as he sleeps. He didn't try to leave last night, putting an ache in my chest. It was almost easier when I had to convince him to stay. Knowing there's distance between us.
But now the walls are coming down, and I have to remind myself this is temporary. No matter how much I wish to stay, eventually, I'll go back to Sweden.
I have time, my visa won't expire for three years. There is no rush to leave and no need to bring it up. He insists it's a fake relationship.
This will run its course before I leave. For now, I'll enjoy what Alec's willing to give me.
Alec has single-handedly dragged me out of the depths of misery. Leaving my sunshine behind won't be easy. The future is too uncertain to stress over.
Alec's eyelids flutter and I'm tempted to kiss his lids, but that will wake him. He's too peaceful to disturb.
Yesterday's creative surge overtakes my thoughts and propels me out of bed.
"Hey." Alec grabs my wrist with a sleepy expression of confusion.
"It's early, but I am eager to work on the designs from yesterday. Go back to sleep, and I'll bring you breakfast in a couple of hours."
Alec nods, his eyes shutting again as his hand falls from my wrist. The ideas running rampant in my brain are the only things tearing me away from his irresistible body.
The workroom is empty and will be for hours, so I gather my materials and begin. I organize large pieces of scrap metal for the sculpture I see in my head, but then I work on the custom necklaces.
Alec is right. I can make a name for myself and then work on the sculptures that bring me joy. I snort a laugh at his comparison to Michelangelo. But if Michelangelo could spend years upside down painting a ceiling, I can make a few pieces of jewelry.
I'd already decided that one piece should be a bracelet instead of a necklace. She wants something bold and colorful. She described it as chunky, and a necklace would overpower her petite frame. I forge a wide cuff, hammering in divots and anodizing the metal into a riot of color. Matching dangling hoop earrings complete the look. Next, I create a charm for a necklace. I don't have the right materials to make the chain, so that will have to wait.
Before I know it, I've assembled enough jewelry to fill a display case. I arch my back and roll my neck to get the kinks out.
"You coming up for air?" Alec drawls from the couch, sipping coffee wearing my clothes.
Min killenearly slips from my lips—boyfriend.
I've never been one to want what I can't have.
But him. This. I want.
After crossing the room, I straddle his lap and kiss him. "I said I'd make you breakfast, but you brought it to me."
"Lucky for you, I'm resourceful, and neither one of us will starve." Alec holds my back as he leans forward to grab a muffin off the coffee table.
My stomach rumbles and I steal another kiss before savagely biting into the muffin. "What time is it?"
"Almost eleven. I have to go soon." He picks up a hunk of muffin between us that's fallen out of my mouth and pops it in his.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I planned to spend the morning with you." My sister's words come back to me. I don't consider other people in my life.
"No worries." Alec's hands rub my back and settle on my ass. My cock jumps to life. "I hoped yesterday would give you inspiration to create." One hand lifts to gesture toward my workbench. "How could I possibly complain? My idea was a success."
"I have a bad habit of losing track of time when I'm creating." I slide off his lap to sip the lukewarm coffee he made me.
"I don't mind," he assures me.
"I will make it up to you." I'm not the least bit hungry for food as I lower to my knees in front of him.