13. Chapter 13

His laugh causes a quake in my knees, making it hard to stand as it fills every crevice in the room, cracking my emotions wide open. I imagine filling myself with his joy. It's mindboggling how he laughs so heartily after the inhumanity of his parents.

"You are not what I thought when I met you."

Alec opens his mouth to respond and I see the disconnect before he speaks. "Please don't ruin this with fake Alec. I want the Alec standing in front of me." The smile is ripped off Alec's face, and it's my fault.

"I'm always me. You can't pick and choose the parts of me that you like." He tries to slide out of my grip.

I'm an arsle and don't let him go. It has been years since I've held a man and Alec feels incredible. I miss the strength of a man.

"Wait," I implore, trying to figure out what to say so he is not offended. "I do not have the right words, but sometimes it is as if you are playing a role, and I could be any random person. You flirt, but you're not flirting with me." I can't tell him he is my sunshine and I'll do anything to absorb some of his rays.

Alec stops fighting to break free, but his powerful muscles ripple under my hands. His face is impassive, and it's obvious Alec will not cede control.

"I do not want to be anyone," I continue. "If we do this, I cannot be some guy you have sex with and never see again." I like him too much to be one more guy he fucks.

"Viking, what can I possibly say? Everything that comes to mind could be misinterpreted as dirty or cheesy or disingenuous. It's a test I can't pass." His brown eyes bleed sincerity.

"Okay." I grip his hips and ghost my lips over his ear. I've held back for so long. Cutting myself off from people and affection to the point that I'm touch starved and liable to ravage Alec. And Alec can take it. He's strong and so j?vlar hard. Every single inch of the man tempts me.

"Okay? That's it?" he sputters.

"I'm not trying to test you—help me understand." I like Alec showing me his soft side. "But I have to know why you don't bottom." I'm terrified his answer will end this for good. Part of me doesn't want to know, so I can ignore it.

Emotions play out on his face, and I'm horrified for him.

"Alec, did someone hurt you?" I ask, and when he lowers his eyes, my fingers dig into his sides. "Did someone assault you?"

His head snaps back, hitting the wall. "No. Not physically."

"But something happened." I press the issue.

His head tilts in the smallest nod.

"You don't have to tell me." I cradle his head into the crook of my neck. Warring with my emotions, I'm relieved he doesn't have a toxic view of sex, but I'm furious someone hurt him so terribly that he's given up on half the pleasure he could experience.

"It's fine. I'm fine," Alec says into my skin.

"Okay." I believe the lie, and he pulls his head back. Alec's brow scrunches up in uncertainty. I place a chaste kiss on his lips and my body lights up. It's not enough and I'm afraid nothing will ever be enough with this man. This might be my only night with him, and I am determined to make it count. He never gave me any assurance that I will be more than a guy he sleeps with for the night. It's wrong to ask that of him after what happened tonight. I crave all of him. Everything he's willing to give me—every ray of sunshine he has to spare.

My tongue finds its way into his mouth and I groan. His taste washes over me—he's an aphrodisiac—and I'm immediately addicted. My hands skim over his corded neck to his strong jaw.

His hands roam my body, and his hands—god his hands—do not tread lightly. His fingers are rough and calloused, while his large palms try to imprint themselves on my skin. It's heady and my brain is stuck on getting more.

My hands bracket his head to deepen the kiss and I'm lost. I'm frantic in my need to devour him. But Alec isn't satisfied with being held in place and uses my hair to steer my head so he can explore every corner of my mouth. Alec's lips are demanding, and his tongue is intent on plundering me.

He growls as if he wants me to know he's in charge. Alec calls me a Viking, but he's treating my body as if it's his by right, and he's not above taking what's his with all the sweetness of a raider set on getting his spoils.

And I give in. Alec can have me and everything he's determined to take.

By surrendering my control, we'll both get what we want. I'll be able to savor Alec giving himself over. Neither of us will have to hold back.

At first, I'm unsure how to signal him to lead, but then he sucks my tongue and I whimper. He knows and smiles into our kiss.

Alec leverages us off the wall and over to the bed. He moves so I am straddling him as he leans back on his elbows. I cannot be content with his lack of action, so I strip off his shirt. Ignoring the poison tattoo, I enjoy our skin-to-skin contact. "Pants. Off," I bark, swinging my leg around so he can stand to remove them.

"Bossy," Alec complains but complies with a grin.

I have a good-natured insult ready when I notice his tiny, silky red briefs. I trip over my pants to touch him and end up tackling him back onto the bed.

"What the…" Alec's eyes are blown wide and wild. My hands pin his thighs.

His briefs are so soft, I'm crazed for my hand, cheek, and mouth to rub against them. Above the lace waistband, his gorgeous cock juts skyward, dripping pre-cum. The contrast between the silky material and the coarse hair covering his toned thigh muscles is the best thing I've ever felt.

"These are"—I glance up at Alec, and there's uncertainty in his eyes—"amazing. Have you had these on all night?" I ask stupidly.

"No, I pulled them out of your drawer when you weren't looking," he deadpans, exhaling slowly.

"I have never…I don't." I exhale a puff of air and stop speaking because I don't have the words, and I need to rub my cheek on the silk and then run my tongue over it. Alec groans and grips my hair, steering my head to provide more friction.

I let him have control, then fight his hold so I can suck his balls through the material. I swear in Swedish and his mouth explodes with words that I don't think make sense, but my brain is too focused on pleasure to translate.

"Stop," Alec demands, and in my haste to comply, I fall off the bed onto my ass with my legs at odd angles, trapped in the pants around my knees.

"I'm sorry." I pant, berating myself for not noticing that Alec was uncomfortable.

"No, I'm sorry, Viking." Alec slides off the bed to untangle my legs and frees me from my pants. "It felt so good and you look so fucking hot, I didn't want to come before I got the chance to dick you down."

"F?r fan I helvete! I thought I crossed a line again, not asking for consent. I saw your briefs and attacked you." My brain is in a lust-filled haze.

Alec wraps his arms around my torso, lifts us both up, and falls backward onto the bed so I'm on top of him. I've missed a powerful man who can handle me. There aren't many. And I trust even fewer.

He grinds his erection up on me. "Do you feel my consent?" he asks, and I'm prepared to argue the need for words when he stops me with a kiss. "You have my consent. Let's say from now on, if I'm hard for you, I'm consenting. I'll tell you if things change, but there's no need to act like I'm poison." He smirks, but asking the meaning of the tattoo would kill the mood. I will ask when we're not naked.

"Okay," I agree and lean down for another taste of his lips.

"Sooo"—Alec pulls his head back—"you're into my mangerie." The word sounds like lingerie but with ‘man' in front of it. His tone conveys he's fishing for a compliment, but his body is tense.

"My reaction speaks for itself," I reassure him. "Did you make that word up, or did one of your admirers?" I snake my hands under him to fondle the silk covering his ass. The material sliding over my erection is heaven and my moan is indecent.

Alec presses one palm into the small of my back and his fingers dip into my underwear, sinking into my ass cheek, pulling, exposing my hole. His fingers are near to where I ache for them, teasing me and overwhelming me with the sensations. As he lifts to suck on my neck, his abs contract and his cock jumps. I'm dangerously close to coming from our rutting.

"Viking, you're the lucky one. You're the only man who has seen them," he whispers in my ear.

And although I know he's teasing, I feel lucky that he's sharing something private with me. But I don't think he'd want me to act grateful. "You need me." I nuzzle behind his ear as I speak.

"Yup." Alec bites my neck and digs his fingers in so hard I'll have bruises.

"You need me for more than a quick fuck." I slow our rhythm because we're both on edge. Alec grunts in response.

"You need me to show you what you're missing." I trail kisses along his jaw, but he tenses. "Relax, I won't do anything you don't want me to." I lower my mouth to his in a searing kiss, stealing sunshine and whatever else he's willing to give.

I roll us so Alec is on top. "You're going to suck me while I suck you." My hand between us cups him and I suppress a shiver at his size.

"Topping from the bottom." Alec's lips turn up, inviting me to bite them. "Here we call that position sixty-nine."

"Are you averse?" I coast my fingers down his spine.

"Nope." He grinds himself into my hand, and the smooth texture of his mangerie can't contain his soft skin over his steel length. "As long as we both get off."

"Will it be—what did you call it—dicking me down?" I ask, trying to distract myself with the slang because I'm right on the edge.

He nods and pauses with a wicked grin. "And I finally get to see your tattoos."

"Mmmm." I debate keeping his sexy underwear on but decide to slip it off. "Yours are more interesting."

"But you've seen mine." Alec rips down my boxer briefs, so I'm exposed to him.

"I am a gentleman." I sink my teeth into his shoulder. "I did not look."

Alec stops mid-thrust when he looks down at my cock. He runs his fingers over my foreskin as if he might hurt me.

"Most European men are uncut." I take his cock in hand, but he's fascinated with mine, pulling the skin back and thumbing my slit. I groan. "Enough playing."

"You are so sexy until you open your mouth," he says.

Instead of flipping around, Alec drags his chest over my body, settling between my legs, making it impossible for me to get my mouth on him. His hair sticks out in every direction from my fingers, and he maintains eye contact as he swipes his tongue over my head, lapping up the pre-cum. If gay men had an icon for debauchery, it would be this version of Alec.

"When your cock can't get hard for anyone else, you'll see my face." His expression is so sinful I can't deny his words, and he swallows me whole.

I whimper in response. It's been too long. I burn for this.

A babble of Swedish leaves my mouth.

Alec's eyes dance with laughter as he pops off me. "You took the words right out of my mouth."

I can't respond. I'm single-mindedly focused on holding off until I can get my mouth on him.

"You're terrible at following your own directions," he huffs without heat.

My eyes widen, and I reach for him, eager to taste him. Refraining from arguing that his actions stopped me from doing what we both want.

"So needy for this." Alec rises to his knees and strokes himself. "Aren't you?"

"You are so sexy until you open your mouth," I repeat his words back to him, and his joyous laugher rewards me.

"Shut up and put your mouth where it belongs." Alec brushes my hair back with both of his hands.

He scoots backward off the end of the bed and pulls my legs, dragging me until my head is in the center. I am only slightly obsessed with the way he can manhandle my six-foot frame. Only slightly. Lying to myself: the best course of action.

The way he licks his lips while staring at my dick is obscene.

I'm stretched out on my side as Alec climbs back onto the bed, facing away from me. Before he can position himself, I wrap my arms around his thighs, nuzzle into his balls, and inhale. He smells of happiness, sunshine, and man. If I could breathe enough of him in, I might get a fraction of his warmth.

But I hunger to taste him, so I swallow him whole. I moan around him, satisfied just by being stuffed full of him.

Alec gasps and lets out a stream of noises trying to form words but can't. I'm too full of his dick to enjoy the satisfaction of rendering him speechless.

While I'm testing the limits of my gag reflex, Alec licks my head like a lollipop. He explores my foreskin with precision, but I thrust into his mouth for more. Groaning, he cups my balls, so I widen my legs to give him better access. I'm surprised when he does the same.

Alec's thumb rims my hole and I'm gone. My balls draw up and I gurgle around his dick before fireworks explode in my brain. Alec suctions his mouth and hums with pleasure, taking my release.

He tries to lift off me, but I thirst to be full of his cum. And seconds later, I get it. There is so much at once that it's hard to handle, but it"s still not enough, and I try to coax more out of his slit with my tongue.

"Viking, you gotta stop. It's too much." Alec rolls away from me and I let him go. We come back down to earth in comfortable silence until Alec asks, "So was this your plan when you stripped in front of me? Distract me with sex, so I forget everything else?"

I chuckle at the ceiling and slap his ass. Alec flips around and we kiss while maneuvering up to the pillows.

His mouth tastes even better with remnants of me on his tongue. We devour each other and I drown in his kisses. He doesn't break away until our lips are swollen.

He's breathtaking. "Beautiful," I whisper to myself, but he hears me.

Alec's dimples are on full display and they don't give me a choice—I'm forced to lick them. He spears his hand into my hair, sifting through until it's fanning over the pillow.

"I love your fucking goddamn hair when it's wild all for me." He removes my hands from his hips and binds my wrists over my head. "Fuck," he breathes, "what are you doing to me?"

I say, "Stay" at the same time Alec says, "I should go."

"You're staying." I sound confident while my heartbeats staccato. I sweat, trying to ignore how much I enjoy him being here.

"I don't do sleepovers." He hesitates, sitting up.

"You do now." I watch as he weighs the pros and cons. "It's late. You have stayed before, and"—I pause, waiting for him to make eye contact—"I do not want anything to happen to that pretty face of yours in this big city if you're out there alone." My tone is playful and slightly mocking.

"You better not snore." Alec yanks me on top of him. "And I expect round two."