Chapter 18

Gabe is makingit impossible to hate him.

Utterly impossible.

He arrives at the penthouse with a waffle basket. "It's cookie dough fudge brownie, baby," he greets, handing it to me.

I'm about to remind him I'm Ameline, not his baby, when Jude steps up and pulls me into a side hug. "Ready to drop my brother's lame ass and run away with me yet?"

"Fuck off," Gabe growls, gently tugging me back.

"I'm just giving her options," Jude says with fake innocence. "Imagine how much better off you'd be with me."

I roll my eyes and pop the lid off the ice cream. Damn, Gabriel Decker, he remembers exactly what I crave when I'm stressed. "It's good to see you, Jude, but don't start annoying your brother. I'm not in the mood to deal with his grumpy ass."

Jude sighs loudly. "So, tell me about this niece we need to meet." He glances toward the kitchen where Indie, Lyric, and Cora are decorating cookies.

"You must be her, huh?" He looks at Cora, who frowns back at him.

"I, Cora," she says. "Who you?"

"Cora, meet Jude, Gabe's brother," I introduce them. "Jude, this is my niece, Cora."

She glances between the two men, brow furrowed. "They look same."

I set my ice cream down and lift Cora off the counter. She clings to me as we approach the brothers. "They're twins, you already know Gabe"—I point—"and this one is Jude."

Gabe opens his arms to her, and she leans into his embrace with an easy trust, still eyeing Jude warily.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Gabe coos softly to her. "Do you think it might be time to head to bed?"

"Whese Mommy?" Cora asks, peering over his shoulder. "And Cabeb. He needs food and tooties."

"They're sick, so doctors are taking care of them," Gabe explains. "Hopefully, Caleb will be home in a few days."

"Otay," she mumbles.

Just then, the front door swings open, revealing Jacob and Pria. I freeze for a moment, torn. Should I snatch Cora and flee or hide behind Gabe? She wasn't mean—quite the opposite, she was very loving. But love or not, her reluctance to have me near her son back then lingers in my mind. They probably don't want me here.

"Mom and Dad are here too," Indie pipes up, clapping with too much excitement. "Next thing you know, everyone will be arriving, and it'll turn into a Decker party."

The thought tightens my throat. "It's probably time for me to leave," I mumble, my eyes flickering to Gabe. "You can stay with her tonight, right?"

"Hi, Ameline," Pria greets me warmly, while Jacob adds, "It's good to see you, Ame."

"Hi," I whisper, nerves coiling so tight I feel nauseous. I want to vanish before they banish me themselves.

"We know you have to be at the hospital, but we would love to chat with you," Pria says, clasping her hands hopefully.

I swallow hard, dread flooding my veins like ice. I doubt I can stomach whatever "chat" they want to have. The room seems to shrink around me, the walls closing in—my heart pounds in my chest, a relentless drumbeat of anxiety. The fear of rejection, of confrontation, grips me, and I find myself wishing for an escape, any escape.

Lyric steps in and gently takes Cora from Gabe. "We'll get our pajamas on. Then it's cookie time."

"Tooties," Cora says triumphantly. It seems like she's finally going to have her reward for waiting so patiently for the cookies to cool down and be decorated.

"Jude, come on," Indie urges.

"Nah, I'm staying," he says. But after seeing his parents' serious faces, Jude shrugs and begins to walk away. "Alright, fine, I'm going too. I might wear my reindeer pajamas from last Christmas."

As Jude leaves with Indie and Lyric the tension in the room increases. Gabe takes my hand, his warm grip eases some of the anxiety coiled inside me. I take a slow, steadying breath as Pria and Jacob step closer.

"Ameline," Pria begins, "I need to start by apologizing to you. That conversation we had years ago, though well-intended as it was . . . we shouldn't have interfered in your lives. But we did it because we cared. You were disappearing, little by little, into the darkness, and Gabe seemed so lost."

She swallows hard. "Obviously, that was presumptuous of me. And in the process of trying to help, I ended up hurting both of you even more."

"Though we do wish you both had trusted us," Jacob picks up where Pria left off. "Ameline, I'm not sure what will happen next, but know that we're here for you. Even if your decision is to leave my son for good and find happiness elsewhere, we'll support you, always."

"What the fuck, Dad?" Gabe growls. "I'm trying to convince her that I'm worth keeping around and you're telling her to find happiness elsewhere?"

"I didn't see you heading to New York to grovel," Jacob says.

"She asked me not to do it. I respected her wishes," Gabe states. "Because I would do anything for her. Staying away included, even if it killed me inside."

"The important thing here is that you know we never pushed you away because we didn't like you. I tried to give you a wakeup call because I read the situation wrong," Pria states, ignoring Gabe and her husband.

Their words catch me off guard, stirring up a storm inside me. I swallow hard, trying to push down the lump forming in my throat. This is the last conversation I expected to have tonight. In fact, I should leave. Caleb needs me.

"We never disliked you," Pria adds, her eyes searching mine. "We care about you. You're family. I just. . ." She trails off and so does her gaze.

"You meant well," I cut in, my voice shaky.

What more can I say? The honesty in their words has me reeling, caught between relief and a tangle of other emotions.

Jacob nods in agreement. "In hindsight, we realize we should have approached that conversation differently. Letting you two figure things out on your own. We didn't understand that Gabe was struggling too until he opened up earlier today."

More than a decade of hurt and confusion continues to unravel in this penthouse. It leaves me raw, exposed in a way I haven't been for years.

"We were wrong," Pria says softly, reaching out like she wants to bridge the years of distance between us. "And we see now how much you mean to Gabe."

She steps closer, her eyes full of this raw, desperate hope. "Can we start over, Ameline? We truly want to make things right. Even if things don't work out between you and him. Though, I really hope they do."

The room feels like it's holding its breath, waiting for my answer. I've kept my heart locked up tight for so long, the idea of letting them back in is scary as hell, but also kind of freeing. But I see the sincerity in their eyes. In their own flawed way, they were trying to protect us.

I think of Pria's words from before—‘you were disappearing into darkness.' What if I had vanished completely in there? I mean, she's not wrong. There were days I lacked the will to even get up, to eat or function. Days I wished my suffering would end, by any means necessary . . .

I meet their gazes, seeing the compassion and regret in their eyes. They genuinely want to make amends.

I nod slowly, my voice barely a whisper. "We can try . . . but it won't be easy after everything." A lone tear trails down my cheek. Gabe kisses it and hugs me. I should push him away, but I don't. I need him right now. At least to keep me grounded while I breathe through this new wave of emotions.

* * *

We leaveCora with Indie and Lyric along with Gabe's parents and siblings. Jude and Jacob were going to build a fort so they could use their sleeping bags. Pria promised to prepare warm milk to make sure she sleeps well. Once everything is set, we leave for the hospital.

When we arrive, Gabe talks to the doctors. They listen to the treatment plan Dr. Hawkins and Gabe came up with. Caleb will stay in the hospital for a few days, but will go home with us soon. We'll have family and of course round-the-clock nurses and daily doctor check-ups. It's a relief to know that he won't stay here for so long, but my mind's spinning with what it all means. Obviously, I have to stay in Seattle longer than planned.

Then there's the financial implications attached to it all. Do I need to help pay for the outside medical treatments?

Does my sister have insurance for her son and herself?

It doesn't matter, I remind myself. If Izzy doesn't have coverage, I'll let Gabe pay the bills. They need all the help they can get. For now, I'll focus on the task at hand. I'm feeding Caleb. His tiny fingers clasp firmly around mine. When he's done with the formula, Gabe takes the baby, gently burping him. Watching them, something inside me just . . . shifts. Gabe, being all gentle and paternal, looks a million times more . . . everything. The sight of them together squeezes my heart.

"What if Izzy doesn't recover enough to care for them?" I ask worriedly.

Cora suffered neglect for too long already. And Caleb . . . The unfairness of the whole situation doesn't sit well. It makes me ache for them, but also want to give them everything they were deprived of.

But can I even give them what they need? Erasing their pain and showing them the love they deserve?

"Then we'll adopt them," Gabe says, like it's a simple fact. "Make sure they grow up cherished, without ever doubting they are loved."

Adopt them? Raise them as our own? The notion terrifies and exhilarates me all at once. But is it actually possible, after everything? Could we be the parents they need?

Can Gabe and I get over our past? My head spins with the unanswered questions and the fear about tomorrow. I can't think about falling in love with Gabriel again.