Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

T en days later.

"You and I have been spending a good deal of our time together these last few days."

Charlotte turned to glance into Lord Kentmore's eyes, finding her senses stirred whenever she did so.

"Yes, that is true."

"Tell me." He winked at her, and instantly, Charlotte's entire body felt itself engulfed in flame. "Am I at all improved in your opinion?"

The heat which had been in Charlotte's frame now rose into her cheeks. She was not quite certain what to say and instead, turned her attention back to the rows of books before them.

"It is a strange thing to want to know, Lord Kentmore."

The gentleman chuckled, making Charlotte smile despite her own sense of uncertainty. Her reactions to Lord Kentmore were becoming more and more altered with every minute spent in his company though she did not want to make him aware of that. Nor, in fact, did she even want to admit it to herself!

"It may show my arrogance, yes?" Lord Kentmore sighed heavily. "I suppose that is not something I had considered." The smile on his lips began to fade away, though his gaze lingered on hers. "Truth be told, Miss Hawick, I find myself in a state which I never once dreamed I would be in. I am no longer acting as a rogue but instead I am committed only to one courtship! I understand that our connection was not something you desired, was not something that you hoped for, but all the same, given that we are now bound together, I wondered if you had felt any happier. That is what my concern is."

Much to Charlotte's surprise, his hand reached out and caught hers, though it was only for a moment. She blinked quickly, turning her head away from his, finding their connected gaze a little too intense, given all that she was now feeling. Could she believe him in this? Could she be certain that what he said truly was genuine? Did he really consider her happiness, or was it that he was seeking only to improve himself in her opinion in the hope of garnering her contentment for when he chose to return to his roguish ways?

"You are going to remain silent and leave my heart to suffer, I see." Lord Kentmore sighed heavily and put one hand to his heart. "It is just as the poem said in The London Chronicle, ‘ the ache of my heart is constant and prolonged, the path before me lit by my wrongs.' "

Charlotte laughed softly, finding the strength to look back at him without her face burning hot.

"Very well, Lord Kentmore," she said, turning to face him. "Yes, I am a little happier. You appear not to be as despicable a character as I first thought you."

Lord Kentmore winced but grinned.

"That is comforting, I think."

"I did not expect you to have a love of art," Charlotte continued, as his eyes searched hers. "That has been interesting to me."

"Aside from my shooting and gambling, yes?"

Lord Kentmore smiled and tilted his head, his eyes twinkling.

"Yes, aside from that," Charlotte laughed, only for her breath to hitch as Lord Kentmore moved a little closer, his gaze seeming to soften, the curve of his lips a little more gentle.

This was what they had spent their time doing these last few days, walking together, taking tea together, but mostly, talking together. It had not been easy, for the first few visits had been strained and difficult, but the more time Charlotte had been in his company, the easier it had become, to the point that now, Charlotte's desire to move closer to him was becoming harder and harder to resist.

"I may not be as terrible a gentleman as you first feared, then?" Lord Kentmore's voice was quieter now, his gaze gentling as he leaned his head down just a little. "You are not as upset as you once were at the thought of marrying me?"

Charlotte swallowed tightly, lifting her gaze to his, though for some reason, her eyes went to settle against his lips.

"I do not think that you are entirely dreadful, no," she whispered, the awareness that they were very much alone – despite the fact that her mother was in the bookshop also – making her tremble with a sudden anticipation.

Lord Kentmore smiled but, after another moment, lifted his head and stepped away.

"That is good." His tone had become a little more formal now, a tad more clipped as he turned his head away. "I am glad to hear you say such a thing, Miss Hawick."

Within a few moments, the heat in Charlotte's frame had run from her and was replaced, instead, with a chill that washed over her. She blinked, a little confused at what had just taken place, and with some regret, attempted to look at the books rather than dwell on the present state of her heart.

"You say that he has become a little more considerate?"

Charlotte nodded, her lips twisting for a moment before she spoke.

"He has, I will admit. Not only that, but we have spent a good many hours in company with each other and I have begun to find him… interesting."

Miss Marshall blinked.

"Interesting?"

"There is more to his character than I first thought," Charlotte answered, trying to explain. "We have spoken of his interests and yes, though he thinks mostly of riding and shooting, he has expressed some thoughts about reading that I enjoy and has also many a thought on art."

Her friend's surprise showed in her wide eyes, making Charlotte smile ruefully.

"Truly?"

"Truly. Though I must confess, it is difficult to recall at times how roguish he is," Charlotte continued, sighing heavily. "It is easy to see just how readily so many of the ladies of London gave themselves up to his charms."

Miss Marshall looped her arm through Charlotte's.

"You may reform him yet."

A laugh broke through between them and Charlotte shook her head.

"I do not know if such a thing is possible!"

Her friend looked at her.

"But should you like it to be?"

Without hesitation, Charlotte nodded.

"The thought of marrying a rogue is bad enough, but to know that he might continue to pursue the affections of others thereafter is painful indeed." Her voice softened. "I have not spoken with him about that as yet, but I think I shall."

Miss Marshall's eyes flickered with curiosity.

"Might I ask if your hope of that comes solely from a desire to have a devoted husband? Or if there is something more there?"

"What do you mean?"

Miss Marshall smiled, a hint of pink in her cheeks.

"Only to suggest that you might have that desire also because you have begun to have an affection for him, to truly care for him."

Charlotte opened her mouth to refute it, only to close it again. She thought for some moments and then shook her head, sighing heavily.

"I do not know. I do not want to have any feelings for him, for then I might find myself overwhelmed with affection while he pushes me aside, and that would only make my situation worse."

"Then you must ask him," Miss Marshall suggested, quickly. "Ask him as to whether or not you can have what you desire: a husband who is singularly devoted to his wife, regardless of what he feels." She smiled again and lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. "That way, you will be able to know whether or not you can let your heart free to grow in its affection for him, or whether you should seek to bring it to an immediate end."

Charlotte nodded slowly, seeing the wisdom in her friend's words.

"I thank you, Sarah," she said, softly. "You are quite right. I must speak to him just as soon as I am able. That way, I shall know for sure."