20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something."PlatoIsabel observed clumps of foam forming and ebbing in her bath. Heat climbed up her limbs, condensing around her neck and bottom lip. Her skin felt so sensitive… As if her consciousness had shifted from within her to the surface of her body.

Sophie hummed softly, arranging the fresh towels on a stool. When she left the bathing room, Isabel parted the foam until she could see her woman’s mound. Holding her breath, she gazed at the tuft of hair, then allowed her knees to open. The pink flesh and the little hood blinked at her.

Should she feel guilty? Ashamed for allowing Henrique liberties? Isabel swirled her fingers over the water and sighed. She had been wrong about pleasure, wrong about relationships. All her life, she believed only men enjoyed mating. By Athena, the closeness of it, the absolute delight. It was dangerous. Her mother had taught her so, and her governess and her confessor. But was it? Why must women be kept from it? Nothing seemed transparent. Suds had found their way into her mind, clouding her thoughts.

The dinner bell rang, intruding on her musings.

How would she speak with Henrique now? Isabel covered her face with her palms and sputtered when soap stung her eye. He made her feel too much—worry, confusion, elation, irritation, jealousy… She shouldn’t find him so appealing.

Did Henrique experience the same with other women? Had he been doing this with Rafaela? Her chest ached at the thought of him touching her cousin intimately. He must be glad she accepted his vow of no consequences, of a simple lesson. That she didn’t fuss or ask for more of him. She could not bear it if he mocked her as he did on the beach. Still, his gaze had been so unguarded... She had been about to pour her own feelings when fear clogged her throat. No, it wasn’t cowardice but royal restraint. She rose abruptly, and water sloshed out of the rim.

With brisk movements, Isabel dried herself and covered her nakedness with a robe.

When she entered her bedchamber, Dolly flung herself over the bed. Hiding her face, she moaned. “My life is over.”

Isabel hurried to her. “What is it? Did Mr. Whitaker hurt you?”

Dolly shook her head. “Not him. The ducks.”

Isabel had forgotten about the bite. “Let me see.”

Shuddering, Dolly lowered her hands.

Isabel cringed at the red mess that had been Portugal’s prettiest nose.

“I’m finished. If only the heavens opened and swallowed me whole.”

With a heavy sigh, Isabel settled by her side and twirled one of Dolly’s blond curls on her finger. “It’s just a bit swollen. A day or two, and it will be all right.”

“I don’t think I can go through with it.”

“Is this about the play?” Diomedes had given Dolly the leading part after her talent surprised everyone during rehearsals.

“What? Oh, yes. Silly me, of course, it is. What else could it be? It’s not like I plan to go to Paris for a glittering debut...” Flushed, Dolly traced the roses embroidered on the counterpane. “I’ll speak with Diomedes. I cannot perform like this.”

“That’s not true. Dear, you are so talented. Please don’t give up. You are more than your nose.”

Dolly tilted her head to the side, her gaze vulnerable. “You seem different. Is something wrong? You can talk to me. I’m your friend. Everyone needs a friend now and then.”

Isabel shut her eyes. She wanted to say so much about Henrique and her fears. But Dolly didn’t need her confusion. She gulped air and assumed expression number twenty-one, a confident smile and slightly condescending brows. “I am quite well, dear.”

“You were right all along.” Dolly sighed, cleaning her tears. “I’ll conform to a life of duty. It’s the only way to protect myself from hurt.”

“No!” What was she teaching her ladies? Isabel straightened, pasting her most royal expression on her face. “I was wrong. You will go ahead with your performance, and the audience’s applause will shake Canastra’s palace.”

“Oh, thank you so much.” Dolly hugged her fiercely. “Your courage inspires me.”

Heat climbed up her cheeks. Courage indeed. The thought of facing Henrique made her insides quiver like a cupboy serving the king for the first time.