Chapter 16

16

AMELIA

Outside on the patio, a large dining table is set up a few feet away from the pool.

Above it, festoon lights hung in a diagonal pattern, creating a warm ambiance while making it perfect for alfresco dining underneath the stars.

The table is decorated in a black and gold theme, put together nicely to mark the special occasion of Uncle Rocky’s birthday. The tablescape elements are dark, but there is still an elegance to it all. Bottles of wine sit inside chillers. Rows of glasses, china, and cutlery—are positioned to accommodate everyone dining. Running down the center is a gold table runner with pillar candles sitting inside lanterns.

“This is gorgeous,” Jessa praises, taking a seat across from me. She looks absolutely stunning tonight in a black cocktail dress which is perfectly tailored to her body. Her hair is out; long honey brown curls cascading down her open back. Her beautiful features are a mix between her dad and mom, but I see more Uncle Noah in her. “Ava is the queen of hosting.”

“She gets it from Mom,” I say, grinning while Mom acknowledges the compliment a few seats down.

Everyone made an effort to dress up tonight. All the men look dapper in their suits, and the women are just as beautiful in the dresses they’re wearing. Of course, Aunt Adriana being a designer is flawless in the gown she has on.

Austin takes a seat beside me, opening the napkin and placing it on my lap like the perfect gentleman he is. I place my hand on his arm with a smile until my attention is diverted to an annoying giggle. Shifting my glance, Gigi is standing across the table wearing a low-cut yellow dress with a crisscross pattern across her chest, barely covering her perky breasts. The dress itself catches the attention of all the men, including Austin. For someone with a supposed migraine, she looks awfully chirpy while taking a seat across from me. Great, why do I have to look at her all night?

Ava comes to the rescue, suggesting she move a few spots down. Thank fuck. The last thing I want is to have to entertain a liar dressed like a god damn whore.

I need to control myself.

Deep breaths.

This is very unladylike and does nothing to build the resilience I will need to become a lawyer one day. All I need to do is keep my opinions to myself and expressions to a bare minimum.

Andy takes a seat across from me. At least he is fun and will talk me off the ledge if needed. I bow my head, ignoring my pulsating head from today’s misfortunate drinking, wishing I took some Advil when I woke up. I was too busy trying to reassure Austin, forgetting to take care of myself, which will no doubt escalate to something bigger very soon.

As I try my best to control the throb, my eyes glance toward Will, who is standing beside where Gigi sits. He is wearing a dark blue suit, though no tie with a slightly exposed chest beneath the white shirt he wears. I plead with myself to turn away, ignoring how devastatingly handsome he looks.

Yet my eyes are a moth drawn to the flame. The more I admire how sexy he looks, the more my body craves to touch him.

I can almost smell his scent from across the table; masculine, alluring—igniting all my senses. Biting down on my lip, I lower my gaze and take a deep breath, reminding myself of Austin beside me.

Like an annoying child, Gigi begs Will to sit next to her, which he does, giving a quick glance my way only to turn in the opposite direction moments later.

When everyone is seated, the waiters serve the starters as everyone speaks amongst themselves. A few dad jokes are thrown around, and Eric shifts the conversation to something more controversial—his love-hate relationship with bangs. It starts a debate amongst the women of the group, but I choose to keep quiet, not in the mood to converse. My eyes keep unwillingly moving to Will. He appears unaffected by my sitting with Austin, busy whispering something into Gigi’s ear, which makes her laugh.

I bury my jealousy by distracting myself with others, but its lingering presence is unavoidable. Did he sleep with her today? And how many times did they have sex? These questions are like poison running through my veins, and I beg of myself to stop the vicious cycle I’m caught in.

The waiters serve the mains, and when the chicken is placed in front of me, I stab my fork into it—ignoring the burning sensation consuming me. My stomach begins to harden, forcing me to drink the wine in front of me, which is the last thing in the world I want after today. It doesn’t seem to work, making my stomach even more unsettled.

There is a tap of a fork against a glass as Eric insists Uncle Rocky entertain us with a speech. Silence falls over the table as Uncle Rocky stands up with an overbearing grin on his face. “Where do I begin?”

“How about with zipping your fly up?” Nash yells across the table.

Nikki shakes her head in disappointment as everyone laughs. Given that Uncle Rocky does not look embarrassed at all, I take the wink he gives his wife as the reason they were last to dinner. Will flinches across the table while leaning back into his chair, obviously coming to the same realization.

“Firstly, I have to thank Ava and her hot besties for making this happen.”

Ava raises her glass with pride. “You’re welcome, Uncle Rocky!”

Uncle Rocky then raises his glass, staring directly at Will.

“To my son, Will,” he begins, pausing momentarily to then continue, “when I knocked up your Mom in freshman year of college, I never expected to have a son of your intelligence. You make me proud, and I have no doubt that you will fucking slay the business world after today. Sorry, Lex.”

Dad keeps his expression flat, leaning back into his chair with his arm around Mom. He has barely acknowledged Will, and to my knowledge—they have not spoken since being here.

“I am honored to be your father, Will.” He raises his glass again in which Will follows the sentiment, keeping his smile fixed. “And here’s to hoping you give me some grandbabies soon. You up for the challenge, Gigi?”

Uncle Rocky roars with laughter as everyone follows, including Gigi who looks pleased with the attention she is receiving.

Well, everyone except me.

I force my lips to curve upward, aware of Austin’s eyes falling upon me. Jessa glances at me from across the table, offering a sympathetic smile.

“And to my wife,” Uncle Rocky continues. “No words, babe. Life is not worth living unless you’re by my side.”

Nikki grins back at him as he leans in and kisses her softly. Despite Uncle Rocky’s boisterous personality, the two of them have a love like no other. They’ve grown together from such a young age, yet I can’t help but wonder if I would feel equally in love with Austin after years of marriage. He is my best friend; he knows me so well. Surely, friendship must account for something in a marriage.

But the moment my thoughts begin to think about the future, I am drawn back to Will. There is no denying my feelings toward him haven’t disappeared, but I also respect and love Austin. How is it possible to feel the way I feel about two men?

It’s wrong of me even to think these thoughts, let alone compare. Yet how do I ignore how erratically my heart beats when my eyes feast upon the man who once consumed me whole. The pull, unexplainable with its force—wreaks havoc on my soul. It begs to be touched again, to be ignited by the person who started the flame. But all these feelings, the emotions, all of them are forbidden when they should be directed to the man sitting beside me.

“And to everyone else here tonight,” Uncle Rocky mentions with a final toast, “you are my family. Thank you for celebrating my life with me.”

There is applause from everyone at the table until Uncle Rocky follows with, “So what time are strippers getting here?”

More laughter continues as the bottles of wine empty and the cake comes out with only one candle since Uncle Rocky is in denial about his age. We sing a round of Happy Birthday, followed by the waiters cutting the cake and serving it to each guest.

“How’s med school?” Jessa asks Austin, but not before smacking Andy’s hand while he attempts to steal her cake. I noticed this weekend that the two of them were very flirty. Since they aren’t related, being my cousins on either side, it wouldn’t be taboo if they dated.

Note to self…discuss this later with Ava.

“Hard, but it’s great. Hopefully, it will settle down when we get married soon.”

My eyes blink slowly while trying to grasp what Austin just said. We hadn’t actually discussed the getting married part, so when did it suddenly become soon?

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were getting married soon?” Jessa questions with a flat gaze. “Well, who doesn’t love a wedding?”

“Me.” Andy rolls his eyes until Jessa nudges him.

Nash raises his hand. “And me unless there are single hot chicks. You got any single friends, Millie? What about your friend Liesel? I wouldn’t say no to a cougar. Call me a honey badger.”

Jessa scowls at her brother. “You are so gross. I swear you’re Rocky junior.”

“Not soon,” I tell everyone with slight annoyance. “Studying is more important right now.”

Austin places his fist on the table. It’s curled into a ball and almost stark white. What did he expect me to say? Lie to everyone about us planning a wedding? We hadn’t discussed a single thing except for the fact that we planned to wait.

“Maybe studying can wait?” he contests, keeping his voice low.

Across the table, Will purses his lips with a smug expression. With his arm around Gigi, he leans in again to whisper something into her ear. The nerve of him. I bet he spent all day fucking her brains out just to get me back.

I place my hand on Austin’s leg, willing to ease the tension of this conversation. “You’re right. We can make it work sooner.

I’m not sure why I lied or why I felt compelled to end an argument with Austin when in fact, he’s putting me on the spot and telling everyone we are getting married soon is downright disrespectful.

My emotions are running wild, angered at Austin, who is trying to control things, and jealous watching Will flirting with Gigi. I shift uncomfortably in my chair, rubbing my hands against my thighs nervously. My chest begins to tighten, only to accelerate my breathing. The inside of my body starts to quiver, causing my stomach to churn.

Jessa and Luna excuse themselves to use the bathroom, only for my gaze to fall onto Will. Gigi is the one whispering something in his ear this time, only for a smirk to play on his lips. He purposely meets my stare and places his hand on her shoulder, teasing the strap she wears, all the while never breaking my gaze.

The asshole.

Throwing my napkin onto the table, I rise from the chair.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” I tell Austin, then I lean down and kiss his lips softly, caressing his face gently.

When I pull away, he grabs my hand and kisses the ring on my finger as my lips curve upwards into a smile.

Then slowly, my eyes glance back to the angered stare of the man who insisted we play this game tonight. His expression is anything but forgiving, bitter with tightness in his eyes while his jaw clenches from my careless actions.

I turn my back toward him, making my way to the house to realize I need fresh air, not a bathroom. Instead, I exit the front door to avoid seeing anyone, knowing everyone is out back where the party is at.

Out the front are parked cars. Uncle Rocky’s Range Rover, Dad’s Aston Martin—his fifth child. There are a few more belonging to other family members. With every footstep I take, my shoes crunch against the gravel. Given I am wearing black strappy heels, it becomes increasingly difficult with every step.

A noise behind me stills my movements. I take a deep breath, praying to god it is a wild animal and not who I think it is.

Slowly, I turn around to Will standing in the shadows. His arms are crossed beneath his chest with one fist pressed against his mouth.

“Leave me alone,” I warn him, crossing my own arms. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

“I guess you’re right. You’ve got nothing to say. Too busy planning your wedding, right?”

Heat flushes through my body as the anger comes roaring to life.

“What do you care, Will?” I yell, unable to control myself. “Clearly living the best life of a single man.”

“You have no right to be angry tonight!”

“I have no right to be angry?” I question with a sick laugh. “You spent the day with Gigi, doing god knows what.”

“What does it matter, Amelia?” He moves toward me, grabbing my hand to raise the ring between us. “You chose him! How dare you think you have any say as to what I do with my life, including who I fuck.”

I remove my hand from him, dropping my head to still the pain spreading throughout me. “That’s right. You’re just out to hurt me.”

“And are you hurt?” he asks bitterly. “Does it hurt to know that another woman is in my bed? Laying beneath me while I kiss every inch of her body, then slide myself in and watch her come?”

“You bastard,” I growl, raising my hand before he grabs my wrist tightly.

Will’s eyes are on fire, burning so bright and torturing me with their violent flames. His nostrils are flaring, rage consuming his entire being until I push myself forward and force my lips onto him. My heart is pumping so hard, remembering the ache which has longed for him since the day he left for London.

I pull away, catching my breath with a pained stare. I’m unable to turn away until he grabs my face, pressing his lips against mine.

The force is so strong, crippling any emotion but the one which makes me focus on how perfect his lips taste. His tongue entangles with mine, the familiarity clouding any rational thought which wants to push him away.

Which should push him away.

My hands move toward his chest as I let out a small moan, dragging my lips away to break free as guilt consumes me whole. As if he knows the anguish he’s putting me through, he locks me into an embrace, trapping me while sucking hard on my lips.

The pain turns me on, traveling to forbidden places which only existed when we were together. From the moment he left, I wondered what it would be like to taste his lips again, and no matter how much I thought about it, the reality is far off.

I missed how he tasted.

How he would kiss me passionately, every time like it was our first kiss.

My head is screaming for him to let me go, but I can’t stop as he presses my body against my father’s car. Everything begins to tremble as he stiffens against my stomach. I can’t let it go any further, terrified by how much I want him and how easily my heart has forgotten the past.

Or maybe it’s the opposite—my heart remembers just how perfect it once felt. How secure and loved, how nothing in the world could ever come between us.

“If you want to be a good girl,” he begs, with pleading eyes as his thumb runs along my bottom lip. “Tell me to stop.”

I can’t tell him to stop. I never could.

And that’s the trouble with us—we both had the ability to destroy each other. We did it years ago, and right now—we are following the same destructive path as before.

Yet no matter how bad I knew this was, how morally wrong of me it is to kiss Will while engaged to another man—it didn’t stop me.

I’m under his touch, and there is no breaking free.

No matter how hard I try.

Will Romano still owns me, and finally—I need to stop fighting the truth.