Chapter Seventeen

“You’re alive, then. I began to wonder.”

Caleb looked up from his desk with a frown as Lady Anita swept into his study. Unannounced, he might add.

“How did you manage to get by Havers?” he asked by way of greeting.

“Oh, he’ll be along shortly.” She shrugged, removing her bonnet from her bright golden curls. “He’s getting on a bit, you know? I’m quite faster than he.”

Caleb laughed in spite of the interruption. He could only imagine how irate Havers was at Anita’s outrageous behaviour.

Before he could answer, her premonition came true, and Havers burst through the doorway, wheezing slightly and glaring at the unruffled lady.

“My lord.” His butler soon composed himself. “The lady was informed that you do not wish to be disturbed.”

“That’s quite all right, Havers,” Caleb said before the man had an apoplexy.

It wasn’t that the servant would have a problem with a lady visiting Caleb alone. God knew he was used to such things and far worse.

No, he was likely to be upset that someone had bested him or outright ignored his master’s wishes.

Caleb dismissed him to go and lick his wounds below stairs then turned to his unexpected visitor.

“What can I do for you, Anita?” he asked, keeping his tone neutral.

Her smile was positively feline. He recognised it as one that could turn men inside out with desire. At one point, it had even worked on him.

Now though, he felt nothing but a vague irritation that she was here.

“I could list quite a few things you could do for me, Caleb. Most of them remarkably well.”

He merely smirked at her teasing comment, remaining unmoved by it and the coquettish look she was currently favouring him with.

It had been a long time since he’d felt anything but passing friendship for the young viscount’s daughter.

“So, this is a proposition, then? I’m afraid I’ll have to decline.”

Caleb caught a flash of something in Anita’s blue eyes. Disappointment? Annoyance? He didn’t know or particularly care.

“As I said, I’ve come to check that you’re still breathing. Everyone’s been wondering where you are. We’re all quite at sea without your soirees to attend. Some of us have had to go out into polite society, Caleb! Imagine the horror!”

He grinned at her hyperbole in spite of himself.

“I’m sorry to hear how difficult it’s been for you all,” he drawled. “But as you can see, I am very much alive and well.”

“So then, we can look forward to you opening your doors to us once again?” she asked.

Caleb paused, unsure of what to say.

For the last three weeks, he’d spent his days with his siren. Or nights, technically. And they’d been the happiest of his life.

Teaching her the many pleasures of the flesh was by far the best experience he’d ever had. She was a responsive and unabashed student, and he was more than happy in his role as tutor.

She was a fascinating enigma to him. Shy enough to have blushed furiously when she’d seen his sheath for the first time and when he’d explained what it was for. But bold enough to match his passion during their coupling.

Not once had he been tempted to return to his usual vices.

He’d ignored invitations to other disreputable homes. He’d avoided the gaming hells he usually frequented.

He’d even paid a visit to his long-standing mistress with a farewell bauble to end their arrangement.

Apparently, he was a changed man. And he clearly wasn’t the only one to notice.

“I think you’ll have to find your entertainments elsewhere, Anita. I’ve – moved on from that particular brand of amusement.”

From her look of shock, he might well have told her that he was moving to the moon.

She laughed incredulously.

“You cannot be serious,” she said.

He merely nodded, not willing or really able to explain his change of heart.

He only knew that nothing appealed to him beyond seeing the silver-eyed enchantress who’d captivated him so thoroughly.

It was hard to believe that it had only been weeks since their first meeting.

Even harder to believe that their arrangement no longer felt enough for him. He wanted more. He wanted, to his shock, to court her. Woo her. To do all those things that he mocked other men for. Send flowers and take her driving in Hyde Park. Dance with her at Almack’s and visit the theatre.

He wanted to take her to meet his mother.

Mostly, he wanted to show her that he was more than just the wicked marquess with a reputation for debauchery.

What that meant, he couldn’t say for certain. It couldn’t be anything as nauseating as love. He didn’t even know her name!

Anita stepped closer, and he caught the scent of her decadent French perfume. He found it a little cloying.

“You know, servants’ gossip is a veritable hive of information,” she surprised him by saying. “Stories travel faster between houses than you’d imagine. And I always make sure to listen closely to it. When I heard rumblings about some chit occupying all of your time, I dismissed it as absurd.”

Caleb stiffened but kept his face expression free.

“After all, the great Marquess of Guilford wouldn’t have his head turned by some girl nobody even recognised. It seemed preposterous to me.”

He didn’t respond.

He wouldn’t defend his actions to her or to his loose-lipped servants.

She watched him through narrowed eyes.

“So, it’s true then?” she laughed. “Someone has brought the wicked marquess to heel. Well, I am all astonishment. Who on earth is she?”

Caleb clenched his jaw. He couldn’t help but feel that Anita was goading him, and he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of a response.

“She must be quite spectacular. I am simply dying to meet her. Does she know, I wonder, how many have tried and failed before her?”

Caleb frowned at Anita’s words.

Surely, she didn’t refer to herself? Their understanding had always been surface deep. Sexual pleasure and then a comfortable acquaintance. He’d never wanted more. And she hadn’t either. Had she?

Her questions might be unwelcome, but Caleb had no desire to hurt the lady.

“I’ve been brought to nobody’s heel, Anita,” he said carefully. “And every person I’ve enjoyed a dalliance with has understood exactly what it was. I’ve never made a secret of my intentions, or lack thereof.”

Her smile turned brittle.

“No, to be fair to you, you’ve always been honest about your lack of interest in love. Brutally so, at times. It’s not your fault that some women have been foolish enough to hold out hope that you would change your mind.”

Caleb felt deuced uncomfortable.

But after a moment’s tense silence, Anita shrugged and picked up her bonnet.

“So, that’s it then. You’re a changed man?” she asked.

“I think I might be, yes,” he answered honestly, for it was the truth.

“I suppose the next time we meet will be at one of those polite events then.” She grimaced, and he laughed at her shudder.

He knew that word would get around now that his hedonistic gatherings were things of the past.

And he doubted that any of his old set would be as shocked by that as he himself.

Caleb bent to kiss her hand. She’d been a friend to him. And he’d been oblivious to her ever wanting more. But even had he known, it wouldn’t have changed anything. They both knew it.

“I hope she’s worth it, Caleb,” Anita said softly.

She is he immediately thought to himself, though he didn’t say it.

“Goodbye, my lady,” he said instead.

He didn’t know how long he stood there, silent in the wake of Anita’s departure.

Who on earth is she? Anita had asked.

He could only imagine the reaction he’d have gotten had he answered her.

Because he had no bloody idea.

For all Caleb knew, she could be a criminal or a queen.

He knew so much about her, yet not the fundamentals. And the fact that she was keeping that to herself was rather suspicious, he had to admit.

Why then was he so determined not to let her go? And what did he really want from her?

Caleb knew his duty to his title. Knew he’d have to marry. And he knew he would have to marry a lady of good breeding if he wanted his wife to survive the cutthroat world of the ton.

It had never been something he particularly wanted or cared about.

His Siren was, for reasons known only to herself, determined not to marry. She’d said so herself and often enough that he believed her.

If his suspicions were correct and she was a governess, then the chances were she’d been high-born and fallen on hard times.

He could live with marrying a governess.

But it seemed she couldn’t.

Why was he even thinking about marrying, in any case?

Choosing a wife for a dowry or to secure a good alliance, a blue bloodline, was one thing.

There was only the duty to the title. Beget the requisite heir and spare. Perhaps a daughter, too, to ensure a strong alliance in the future.

But there was only one reason a man married far below his station.

Love.

Certainly nothing so noble as to do right by any offspring born on the wrong side of the blanket –

Caleb’s thoughts came to a screeching halt, shock turning his body to ice.

He’d been careful with her. He was always careful. Meticulously so. He’d known too many men who’d sired bastards they cared not a whit about. Seen too many companions get sick from playing too loosely with their health.

And he’d always prided himself on not being one of them. His father had taught him little, but he had taught him that.

Yes, he was painstakingly careful. Always had been.

Except for those first two nights he’d spent with the enchantress.

“Damn it to hell,” he spat into the silent room.

The responsibility he knew was his and his alone.

She was an innocent. She’d trusted him implicitly.

And for the first time in his entire adult life, he’d lost control and forgotten to protect them both.

Caleb marched over to his decanter of brandy and poured an indecent measure into a tumbler, swallowing the entirety in one gulp while he tried to sort his chaotic thoughts.

It was bound to be fine, he reasoned.

What were the odds that she’d be with child? Likely, highly slim. He was no doubt worrying about nothing.

And if you’re not?

An image popped into his head. His Siren, her stomach rounded with his child.

And rather than feel anger or panic, a sense of pride and elation stole over him.

He realised that it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Not for him. Far from it, as a matter of fact.

It was madness. Insanity.

Most men in his position would be cursing their lot in life.

Why did he feel the exact opposite?

Well, if it came to it – if she were to bear his child, then Caleb would do right by her. By both of them.

And if it felt like less of a moral obligation and more like the best thing in the world to him, he’d just keep that to himself until he found out how she felt.

Or at least until he found out who she actually was.