Chapter 5

5

The first thing Kacey noticed when he woke up was that he was thirsty, and the second one was that he had to pee.

The third note, which came thundering in like a herd of elephants, was that he hurt like a motherfucker.

Whoa.

He groaned and tried to sit up, but the room did a little swimmy thing.

“Goddamn.”

“Easy, boy.”

The rough, dry voice came from behind him, and he started to panic. Where the fuck was he? Who the fuck was that? Moving was hard so he squeezed his eyes closed and rubbed his forehead, trying to put all the pieces together.

Come on. Come on. You were… you were… Sam. Sam and a bar and the fight and pretty hands and hospital and peanut butter and…“Breathing.”

“Mhm. Breathe,” that voice said softly. “That’s the only thing you’re going to do today that isn’t going to hurt. Much.”

A weight lifted off him and he realized that…Thomas’s friend…Sky? Mountain? River! River, who was built like a mountain, had been there all night. Or all day. What time was it?

River sat up behind him. “What do you need? Bathroom?”

“Please. Fixin’ to explode.” He managed to sit up, sort of, and he didn’t puke, so it was a win.

“All right. Let’s take it slow. We’re headed out the door and down the hall a little bit.” River’s clothes were wrinkled, and his hair was all pushed up on one side, but his clothes were nice and Kacey bet he’d looked sharp before he’d slept in it all.

His feet were surprisingly okay, and one knee didn’t feel totally fucked, but his back was a mass of ow, and his hands—he wasn’t looking at those at all.

Somehow River made him feel light, though, and they kind of floated down the hall. “Listen, your hands are in bad shape. Let me help if you need it. I won’t tell a soul, I promise.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. “Can you help me unbuckle and all? I have had to sit and piss more than once.”

And he didn’t want the pretty son of a bitch in here if he screamed when he went. That wasn’t classy.

“I can.” River got him all undone, removing his belt entirely. “Call when you need me. You have sweats in your duffel? Thomas had it dropped off early.”

“I do.”

Fuck.

He sat as soon as River left, trying to relax enough to piss. He had his stuff. That was something. He could charge his phone, change clothes, and figure his next move.

Like where he was.

That was step number⁠—

White-hot agony slammed through him as he started to pee, and a wild sharp cry left him before he could hide it.

There was a knock at the door almost instantly, but River didn’t come in. “Breathe, boy. They warned us, remember? Just breathe and listen to my voice.”

“S-sorry. Fuck. Fuck!” He was pissing razor blades.

“Don’t apologize to me. I’m not the one that got in the fight. Breathe.”

He could see the shadow of River’s feet pacing back and forth in front of the door like he was worried. That was sweet, but he couldn’t focus on that right now.

“Breathe? You expect me to breathe while I’m shooting battery acid out the tip of my dick?” Insane. The dude was insane.

“At least the plumbing is working.” River sounded way too cool. “You need some water. Whiskey burns.”

“Not funny!” Okay, maybe a little funny, but not right this second.

“I wasn’t trying to be funny, boy. Unfortunately, you’re going to pay for that bender for a while, and this is where it starts. You’re going to need a bath too. That’ll be interesting.”

He was pretty sure that interesting wasn’t the right word, but he wasn’t in a place to argue, not really. He flushed and stood, wavering there for a second while he tried to figure out what to do next.

“Sweats?” River said patiently as if he could see right through the door. “Kick off your jeans. I’ll get them.”

“Please.” Kick off his jeans. Okay. He sat back down on the pot and started the fascinating process of wiggling off his jeans without hands.

The door opened a crack and a clean pair of tighty-whities, which he had no hope of getting on, came through first, followed by his gray sweats.

He stared at them, laying there on the floor.

Huh.

Fuck, his toes were pretty talented, he guessed…

He wasn’t sure he bent that way, though.

“If you need help…” River offered again, probably noticing how quiet he’d gotten.

“Well, I reckon I got three options. I could stand here staring at these things until the end of time. I could just wander out into the world bruised and nekkid. Or I could get you to help me so my nuts don’t sunburn.” He was plumb out of shame, he figured.

“I’m coming in.” River walked into the bathroom and picked up his undies, then moved around behind him. “Left foot.”

River had his jeans off and soft comfortable sweats on in no time with no fuss and no funny business. Then River reached under the counter and came up with a new toothbrush, which he unwrapped, loaded up with toothpaste, and sat on the counter. “See if you can manage that, please? Your breath is toxic.”

“Shit, I’m toxic.” There wasn’t a bit of him that wasn’t now, and he was burning bridges like a firebug with a death wish.

It hurt, but he managed the toothbrush. He was going to have to wipe his ass, eventually, so he could tough it out. Then he skinned out of his T-shirt, wet a bit of it and started scrubbing off blood.

River had taken his jeans away but came back to check on him. “Need help? I’ve got towels, soap… I guess you’re not ready for a shower.”

He was already sweating from the exertion. The idea of stepping into a tub was fairly intimidating. “I’m just trying to get the bulk of the nasty off.”

River pulled a washcloth off a towel rack and ran it under the tap. “You don’t have to do everything yourself. Especially right now. Let me.”

“I—Okay? I mean, thanks, man.” He swore by all he held holy that the ground was shifting like mad beneath his feet.

River took over, using warm water and gentle pressure, silently cleaning him up bit by bit. He couldn’t fathom the man’s patience, or why River gave two shits one way or the other about him.

“You ever felt like the world is just fixin’ to dissolve under your boots?” Because he did. He didn’t know what the fuck to do.

“Dear boy.” River reached up and pushed some hair from his forehead. Such a strangely tender touch. “I’m sorry things are so hard for you. Why don’t we talk over breakfast? Maybe I can help.” River said that so easily, like everything was fixable.

“That’s sweet. I’m happy to chat with you.” That didn’t cost a thing, and River’d been kind as all get out. “I don’t even know where I am, in the grand scheme of things. Thank God for Google maps, huh?”

“This is a wonderful city to explore when you’re feeling up to it.” River stepped back and nodded, seeming satisfied with his work. “There. That’s much better. Maybe tomorrow, we’ll figure out how to get you in a bath or a shower. Are you feeling more steady?”

“I am, thanks.” That was relative, he supposed, but he’d just keep on keeping on until he had a plan. He still couldn’t believe it had only taken a few days before Sam was done with him.

“I could use some coffee and eggs. Interested?” River picked up his gross T-shirt and tossed it into a washing machine along with the washcloth, then came back for him. “Lean if you need to.”

“Thanks. I’d offer to help, but I cain’t cook a thing.” He lived off Pop-Tarts and bean burritos, with the periodic tamale or burger. He was all ninety-nine cent bag dinners, all the way. Made for better savings.

“You’d be more helpful with hands.” River chuckled. “Sit. I’ll get you some ice and your meds.” River started bustling, setting an icepack beneath his hands-b and wrapping them in a towel, then giving him his meds and some water with a straw. “Scrambled? Fried? How do you like your bacon?”

There was a way to like bacon? “However you’re having yours will be great.”

Really, he needed coffee. Caffeine. Clarity.

River nodded and started coffee, cracked eggs and put bacon in the oven without saying much, just letting him be. A cup of coffee in a travel mug landed on the counter.

“Thank you, sir.” He leaned down and breathed in the bitter, dark scent, letting it fill him up to the brim. “Good coffee.”

“Thank you. I’m a bit of a coffee snob. I think you can manage that mug without spilling.” River unwrapped his hands. “Give it a shot.”

Hell, the shock between the ice and the heat was enough to have him springing wood, for fuck’s sake. He brought the mug to his lips and drank deep, loving the burn as it crawled down into his belly.

“There you go. Excellent.” River served up eggs and crispy bacon and joined him on a stool. “Mm. Breakfast. Or, I guess this is more like late lunch. We slept half the day.”

“I really appreciate all the help. It sucks to be such a giant pain in the ass.”

“I’ll admit this wasn’t how I expected my weekend to end, but I can appreciate that life is interesting.” River grinned at him. “You’re actually a tiny pain in the ass.”

He snorted, because he usually caught rather than pitched, but that wasn’t public knowledge. “Yeah, I ain’t the biggest mother out there, that’s for sure.”

Even Sam was more solid than he was, even though he had a couple more inches in height.

River helped him get hold of a fork. “Eat. I have questions you don’t want to answer on an empty stomach.”

“Yessir.” He scooped up a bite of eggs, and they were good. Eggs could end up nasty—nothing salsa couldn’t fix, but these didn’t even need salt.

“Good boy.” River dug into his breakfast and ate well, finishing off a few slices of bacon and sipping coffee between bites. He didn’t seem as big this morning—tall and broad-shouldered, solid but not the bruiser he’d seemed last night.

Or maybe he just didn’t feel as tiny. Who the fuck knew?

He did know River was kinder to him than he deserved.

“Okay, first hard question. I know a little about you, Kacey. I know you’re in New York because you ran, and I know you can’t go home. I understand on a basic level why. But I need a little more detail. I need to know if those people are going to stay in Texas or if you think they’re coming after you.”

“No one’s coming after me.” No one cared now. He’d been driven off, stripped of everything, and basically marked as a traitor. He didn’t exist anymore to the rodeo life. He had been erased.

“Okay.” River covered one of his bruised and stitched-up hands with his own, the touch warm and lighter than he would have expected. “Good. So you’re safe, and it’s about moving forward then.”

He didn’t even know what to say about that, to be honest. He didn’t know where forward was.

“Don’t worry. This is a one-day-at-a-time thing, Kacey. Let’s just get through today, okay? You’ve got a lot of healing to do.” River refilled his coffee and topped off his own.

“I’m sorry. I feel like I’m disrupting shit, and I don’t know what to do.”

“You are, boy. But I’m not sure I mind.” River put more eggs on his plate. “Eat. That’s all you need to do right now.”

He didn’t know why River called him, “boy.” It didn’t sound mean or dismissive like when a cop called him that, but it wasn’t normal, either.

Sam’s guy had called him that, though. Maybe it was a New York thing?

“Not knowing what to do is a terrible feeling, I know. So how about this? You’re welcome to stay here. For the next few days, you’re going to sleep a lot, eat well, and try to let yourself relax. That’s your job. Get yourself whole.”

“Why are you being nice to me? I mean, I appreciate it, but… is it because you know Sam?”

“Actually, no. I’m doing a favor for Thomas, who needs some time with his boy. Kacey, you have nowhere else to go, and I’m not the kind of man to throw someone down on their luck out on the street.”

“I’ll pay you back, I swear.” It might not be with money, but at some point, River would need something he could give. Someday.

“That won’t be necessary. I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything. Doing something for someone else is its own reward… or so I hear.” River grinned. “You ate all your eggs.”

“They were good. Very. Didn’t need salt even.” He wasn’t sure how that happened, but it was true.

“All right. I want you to take that ice and that towel for your hands and go sink into my amazing couch, put your feet up and watch some TV for a while. I’m sure you can figure out the remote; it’s on the coffee table.”

“What about you?” He didn’t want to run River out of his front room. That was bitchy…

“What about me? It’s a big couch; I’ll join you in a bit. I need to clean up here first.” River was so relaxed it was hard not to want to believe this was all okay.

“Okay. If you need something, holler.” His head throbbed enough that he was going to just take River up on his offer.

Hopefully, he’d make it another day before the man hated him.