Chapter 17

17

River read the note in his hand again, not sure how to feel about it. Kacey wasn’t a prisoner; he was free to go out if he wanted to, but at the same time… a note? Why not knock on his office door and ask? Why not see if he wanted to go? What if River had had plans for them today?

What if Kacey went off the deep end or walked into a bar or decided to just take off?

Would his boy do that?

Should he know where his sub was at all times? Was he owed that as a Dom?

He left his office and wandered the apartment, not really pacing, but not able to stay still either. In general, he wasn’t a worrier. But now he had someone to worry about, and he wasn’t sure what to do.

He could call. Kacey did say call. But what should he say? Are you having fun? Get your ass back home? Are you okay?

He pulled out his phone, looked at it, and made a different call.

“River! Hey!”

“Tyson. Answering the phone for you Master again?”

“Every chance I get.” Tyson was a naughty boy.

“Boy! Give me the phone. Corner. Now.”

River laughed. Kacey might have wandered off, but he wasn’t a handful like Tyson.

“River,” Noel said like there wasn’t drama in his house.

“Hello, Noel.”

“I’m hearing from you a lot lately. Everything okay?”

“I need advice.”

Noel snorted. “Seems to be a pattern. What’s up?”

“Well. I was working in my office, and Kacey decided to go out. Left me a note.” And now what?

“Did you tell him he could go? Is the note concerning?”

“No, and… no. Just said he was going out and to call him if he was needed. I didn’t give him permission, but we never really discussed it either.”

“So… call him, tell him to get his butt home, and discuss it. If he’s your sub, he’s yours, and he needs to understand the rules and the repercussions for not following them.” Noel snorted softly. “I mean, honestly, a sub needs to be able to ask for a little joyous punishment sometimes. Ty knows where the limits are, because I explained it.”

“Right. That makes sense. I don’t know why I’m so bad at this.” He hadn’t even gotten Kacey into a proper scene yet. What was the matter with him?

“Do you want this?” The question was gentle, but the impact wasn’t.

“What? Of course.” Noel was going to see that for the knee-jerk reaction it was. He took a breath and tried to answer more honestly. “Sorry. I want Kacey. I need a sub.”

“Well then, you two need to decide what to do. Either he’s your sub and your lover, you have a lover and another submissive, or he moves on so you can be whole.”

Like it was so simple.

He already knew how that was going to go. It had to be all Kacey, or no Kacey at all. “Yeah. Okay. Listen, I should go. Thanks for the help.”

“Anytime. We fly out Wednesday. I’ll call.”

Wednesday. It was that time already? “Can’t wait. Guest room is yours.”

“Bye, River,” Tyson called from somewhere in the room.

“That’s Master River, and you’re supposed to be silent.”

He laughed. “Have fun.”

“See you soon.” Noel hung up the phone.

River just stared at his phone for a while, then finally called Kacey.

“Hey! How are you?” Kacey sounded… breathless.

“I’m… I’m fine. Where are you? What are you doing?” Breathless was… odd.

“Job hunting. Gathering applications and stuff. I figure I can wash dishes or something. Something to contribute and stretch my savings. I feel bad because I haven’t been… useful to you. I’m just a drain. That’s not nice.”

“A drain? Useful? What? Come home.” What was the boy talking about?

“Yeah? I was afraid you were napping, but I’m getting worn. I… I’ll be home in… twenty-ish? You want a Coke or anything?”

“No. I want you to come home. Now.” He didn’t mean to growl, but he did, and maybe that was just as well.

“Already turned around and, in theory, heading in the right direction. Did you have a good work? Or nap? Or whatever?”

“I’ll see you when you get home, boy. Don’t dawdle.” He hung up and put his phone down. Rules. It was time for rules. And he wanted to know who told his boy he was a “drain” and not “useful.”

It took Kacey closer to half an hour to open the door, and his boy was breathing hard, was soaked in sweat. “Fixin’ to pour down out there.”

Kacey had a sheaf of papers, two bananas, a small bag of Cheetos, an artichoke, and a box of graham crackers.

“You said twenty minutes. What’s all this?” River went right to his boy and closed the door behind him.

“I tried. I got a little turned around and zigged where I was supposed to zag. And some folks wanted me to buy a thing for an application. So I picked the closest neat thing.”

He shook his head. Who charged for an application? “Put it all down on the kitchen counter, please.” He’d already placed a cushion on the floor near the couch. They needed to talk.

“Sure.” He got a smile as Kacey put the stuff down, took off his cap, and washed his face and hands. “Lord have mercy.”

“It might be my mercy you should be asking for, boy.” River pointed to the cushion. “Kneel.”

Kacey shot him a confused glance, but came to him and knelt down. “You mad at me?”

“I’m not mad, I’m… perplexed. And it’s time to get serious.” He pulled out Kacey’s blindfold and set it on the floor near the boy for now. “Who told you that you should get a job?”

“Nobody. I mean, I met this guy from your club. He was nice and suggested working with the police horses, but… I don’t know. Anyway, I thought that too!” Kacey nodded to him. “I thought, we’re acting like we’re on vacation, and you can’t be on vacation forever because then it’s not vacation anymore!”

“Okay, first, don’t shout at me, boy. Never shout.” River sighed. They really did need rules. “You’re not on vacation. You’re mine. I’m taking care of you. I don’t need you to get a job and who was this guy anyway?”

“It wasn’t a mad shout. It was a ‘yes, you get me!’ shout. And he was a… a… Jimmy? Jacky? Joey? Joey, I think. He was nice. He knew Sam, but not real good.” Kacey sat back on his heels, those wrecked boots creaking audibly. “And I know you’re taking care of me. I just want to take care of you too.”

“Okay. Let’s start over.” He paced away, trying to figure out where to start. “You know the rules for the club. Let’s discuss the rules for home.”

“Okay. I swear I was being good…” Maybe Kacey was as ready for this as he was.

“I know. Thank you thinking of me, for wanting to be helpful. Those are good things.” He bent and kissed Kacey on the head. “We probably should have had this talk a while ago. I think this should be easy enough for you, but if you need the blindfold, it’s right there. Just ask.”

“Okay. Thank you, sir.” Kacey reached up and grabbed his hand, kissing it. “You rock.”

He squeezed Kacey’s hand before letting it go and paced a few steps away. He needed a little distance before the urge to just take the boy to bed took over. “Rules. First, you need my express permission to leave the apartment. You’re not a prisoner, but my plans for us come first and you won’t always know what those are. No notes.”

He got a little frown, but that was the extent of the complaint, at least for now. “So am I supposed to wait or knock? I was worried you were sleeping.”

“If I’ve closed my door, then you wait. But, I’ll be better about communicating my expectations for the day, so it won’t be much of a mystery to you.” That was on him. He needed to keep the boy occupied.

“Okay. I was just cooped up some, and I didn’t want to bother you if you were busy being… busy.”

“I understand. That was my fault for not giving you some direction. I’ll do better.” He took a few steps, thinking about what to say next. “Second rule. If you want a job, we can discuss it, but I have to approve any job you take. I don’t need your money. I need your submission. There are plenty of other ways to serve me.”

“Are you going to be pissed if I’m not one hundred percent sure I know what you mean? I mean, I know what you mean about working, even if I don’t understand why, but not the other.”

“No. I’ll only be disappointed if you don’t speak up when you’re confused. Thank you for speaking up just now. The why will become clearer soon. Today, hopefully.” He moved back to Kacey and smoothed a hand over the boy’s back. “I’m demanding but not unreasonable, and I promise to look after your needs.”

“Mmm…” Kacey leaned into his hand. “What do you need me to promise, then? You got to need something from me.”

“I do. Listen carefully, I’ll ask a lot, but we’ll do it in stages.” He left Kacey kneeling and sat on the couch. “Submission begins by putting your Dom above everything and everyone else. Including yourself. Your first thought should be whether what you’re about to do serves me. If not, it might not be something you should do. Or it might be something you need to ask my permission to do. By kneeling where you are right now and learning the rules, you’re serving me. When you do exactly as told, you’re serving me. Does that make sense?”

“I think so. I’m trying to put all the different pieces together in a way that makes sense.” Kacey held his gaze, smiling at him. “I mean, there’s lots of pieces. Lots, and I’m not the best in the world at puzzles.”

He wasn’t sure what Kacey was talking about exactly. “Tell me what you think all the pieces are and let’s see if I can help.”

“Well, there’s the part of being told men don’t. There’s the part where you’re my dragon. There’s how happy Sam is. There’s the parts like what Joey said about spanking. There’s the piece where you said… well…” Kacey went bright red.

River moved quickly to sit in front of Kacey and took his hands. “Where I said what, boy?”

“Oh, God. I hope I heard you right… I was stressed out. But you said, you said I didn’t have to…” Kacey squeezed his eyes shut tight and gripped his fingers. “That I didn’t have to worry all the time, and please don’t think that means I’m lazy and stuff, because I’m not.”

He couldn’t be frustrated with the boy. This probably wouldn’t be the last time Kacey worried about this, the boy had been worrying about these things for too long. He held on tight to Kacey’s hands. “You heard me right. You don’t have to worry about anything. Not money, not your safety, not a roof over your head. I’m happy you’re here. You’re mine and I’m yours. I promise.”

“It doesn’t seem like it can be real. You’re like… my fantasy.” Kacey held him, palms damp, his boy trembling. “I’m yours too, and I promise to try hard, even when I don’t understand.”

Kacey was right that it seemed impossible in a way, too good to be true, but someone told him once that you couldn’t look for the right person, they would come to you. And Kacey had come to him whether he was ready for this or not. “Come here.” He shifted so Kacey could move into his lap. “Come on. Let me hold you.”

Kacey moved into his arms without any hesitation, pushing in close. “I didn’t mean to stress you. I was bored and curious. I couldn’t believe someone from your club saw me.”

“I wasn’t stressed exactly. I just suddenly realized this was a talk we hadn’t had.” River was perfectly happy sitting there with Kacey in his arms. “One more rule. Sam is Sam, and Joey is Joey. They’re not living your life, or mine, or ours. You can be curious, but there’s no reason you have to want what they have. Happiness isn’t pie, boy. We can all be happy doing whatever we want to do. So the rule is… well, I’m not sure exactly.” He shrugged. “Maybe it’s mind your own business.”

“I did! Joey didn’t mind his own business, you know? He’s the one who was talking about spanking and what was I into.” Kacey rolled his eyes. “I didn’t even know to ask.”

“Okay, poor choice of words, Mr. Literal. Don’t worry about what other people think you should have or should be doing or should care about. Okay? He’s into spanking. You don’t know what you’re into yet. That’s okay.”

“Cool. Okay.” Kacey winked at him, and that hint of wickedness was so clear.

“Good.” He gave Kacey a squeeze. “This is real. I agree that it seems strange and impossible in a way, but I believe in it. I believe in you.”

“So what happens next? Do you know?”

No. Not really, but he wasn’t going to admit that. Not when Kacey was counting on him. “Yes. Move back to your cushion and kneel.”

Kacey moved,but he didn’t want to. River’s lap was perfect, but he figured he’d best do as River asked without being a turd. He figured that was the best way to get back to where he wanted to be.

River stayed on the couch, keeping the space between them. “Repeat back to me what I said about submission so I know you understand.”

Okay. Focus. “You said to think about you, and whether you’re wanting me to do something, and if you don’t or if I don’t know, ask.”

“Pretty good. So the next step is to anticipate. Think ahead about whether you know I’m going to want something or need something and make it happen before I ask. Coffee. Clean sheets. A snack before a meeting. A bath. Knowing those things will come with time, as we develop our routine.”

Oh, was he going to be good at that? He didn’t know. He wasn’t an asshole, though, so maybe he was going to be okay. Basically that was just being decent to the man who was decent to him, right?

“Okay. That’s a lot, hm? Why don’t you go draw me a nice hot bath. Put a towel on the warmer, find my robe.”

“I can do that.” He stood up, whispering “bath, towel, robe, bath, towel, robe” under his breath. He headed to the bathroom and started the water and finagled the towel dealie. Finding the robe was easy—he knew where that was.

River came in a few minutes later and undressed, then slipped into the tub before it was done filling up. He picked up a remote and music came on and the lights dimmed. “After you’ve put my clothes in the hamper, grab your cushion, come back and kneel here with me.”

“You mind if I take my boots off?” His feet were tired.

“You mind if I take my boots off, sir?” River countered, not answering his question.

The urge to point out River’s boots were off already was huge. Tacky, ridiculous, and bitchy, but immediate. He didn’t do it, but it was a temptation and a half. “Do you mind if I take my boots off, sir? My feet are killing me.”

“Be my guest, boy. Do whatever you need to be comfortable.” River shut the water off and relaxed back into the tub. “You’re also welcome to get water if you need it or use the other bathroom, no need to ask. Just get up and go and come back.”

He dumped River’s clothes in the hamper, then wandered off to change into a pair of shorts and a clean T-shirt, suck down a bottle of water, grab two more and his cushion. He didn’t think much, because he was busy remembering not to forget anything, and by the time he got back to the bathroom, he was cooler and more relaxed and just easier in his skin.

“Good boy.”

River didn’t open his eyes as he got settled, and didn’t say anything else for a while, so it was jarring when he did finally speak. “Do you cook at all, boy?”

“Me? God no.” He chuckled softly. That was a disaster just waiting to happen. “I eat Pop-Tarts, bean burritos, and whatever’s on the dollar menu. I can also order a pizza like a boss.”

“Okay. Chores then. You can clean, I assume. Do laundry. Have you ever polished leather?”

He remembered his chaps, how proud he was of them, all green and fine. It hurt his heart, thinking about them, his pair of good boots. “I know how to clean just fine.”

He wasn’t answering the question about leather. Not because he wouldn’t help River out, of course he would, but because he didn’t want to go into that mess of beans. Life was hard enough without remembering shit.

River lifted his head and looked at him for a long time, looked right into his eyes. Whatever River wanted he must have seen finally because he relaxed back with a sigh. “Good.”

Good deal. He didn’t have the sense to process all that shit, and he wasn’t sure how to explain it to River, either. So, he could take that out and think on it when he couldn’t sleep.

Instead, he’d remember that coffee from this afternoon. Whipped cream was a magical animal, especially with chocolate sauce.

“How are you at foot rubs?” River stuck his wet foot up on the edge of the tub.

How the hell did he know? “I’ve never done it, but how much damage can I possibly do?”

He winked and reached for River’s foot and squeezed it, praying it was less tore up than his were and that he was right. Honestly, feet held up whole people. Rubbing couldn’t hurt.

“Use your thumbs. There’s some baby oil on the counter if you need it.” River closed his eyes again. “I have some friends coming to town on Wednesday. They’re going to stay in the guest room.”

“Oh.” Oh, man. He was going to have to figure out where to go. There had to be a hotel close by here. He’d google it, book it, and have a wee little vacation. “How long they staying?”

He poured the oil out into his hand. It was the smell of being a little kid and visiting his folks in Arizona.

“About a week, I think. They’ll have their own agenda so we’ll see them now and again. Dinners, maybe a show or some sightseeing, a night at the club.” River wiggled his toes.

He snorted at River. Pushy bastard. He started rubbing, using his thumbs like River’d said. “Well, you tell me where you need me, and I’ll be there with bells on.”

River lifted his head. “You will be right by my side, boy. All week.”

Well, that was sweet as all get out. “You sure? I’ll totally get out of your hair so you can see your friends and not have to explain me.”

River snorted a laugh that went on for a bit and he started to wonder where he’d missed the joke. “They know all about you.”

That sounded ominous. “Hopefully they like me, then.”

What else did you say to that? It seemed like such a weird thing to say to someone, but it was what it was.

Which was another stupid-assed thing to say.

“Master Noel used to live here. He’s an alumni member of the club and my mentor. I’ve known him a long time. He met Tyson while traveling a number of years ago and they have… a unique relationship.” River’s smile was both amused and fond. “Devoted lovers, Dom and sub, very unlikely best friends. I think you’ll like them, and I know they will love you.”

He couldn’t stop his smile, and he squeezed River’s foot a little. “Well, thank you for saying so. That’s… good to hear.”

“Mm.” River hummed and sank a little deeper in the water. “That feels good, boy. Not bad for a newbie. Want the other one?”

“Surely.” He didn’t know how on earth River was going to stand up in the tub with oily feet and not kill himself, but whatever.

River sighed as he switched feet. “When is your birthday?”

“Halloween. I’m a Scorpio.” It was cool, having your birthday on a major chocolate holiday.

“Halloween? Not a bad deal, all that candy and a costume party on your birthday? You know, I’ve always been warned to steer clear of Scorpios.” River winked at him. “Shows how much they know.”

“We’re okay, as far as things go.” He chuckled softly. He was passionate, a little secretive, and he took a bunch of risks. “What about you?”

“Spring. May six. Taurus. Try not to sound too shocked.”

Stubborn, bull-headed. He could see it. “Happy very very very belated birthday.”

River snorted. “Thanks. Me and George Clooney. It could be worse. Is this my very very very belated birthday foot rub?”

“Why not!” He squeezed River’s big toe, playing with him. “How old are you?”

“Old. How old are you?” River grinned at him.

“Old enough.” He could play that game too. Hell, in his line of work, he was for sure middle-aged.

“I could make it an order.” River rolled his eyes. “Thirty-two. Now you.”

“Twenty-six. I’m five years younger than Sam, believe it or not.”

“I believe it.” River pulled his foot back and soaped up a blue bath pouf, going after his feet last. “Sam’s an old soul.”

“He is.” And it had been so easy, to have Sam teach him the ropes, to be his big brother.

“Grab a towel, boy.” River stood and stepped out of the bath.

No towel boys here.He grabbed a bath sheet and hid his grin. God, he was a jackass.

River took the warm towel and dried off, then wrapped it around his middle. “Clean up in here, make some coffee, then take your cushion into the bedroom and wait for me.”

He was going to have to eat a banana while the coffee was making. And was he just supposed to make the coffee or make a cup of coffee. He needed a shot of something.

Anything.

He wiped down the bathroom and grabbed three Tylenol and dry swallowed those, and took the waters back to the kitchen.

Now, coffee. Banana. Pray for beer. Decide about the whole coffee situation. Cushion. Bedroom.

Christ.