Chapter 23
Dawn broke through the early gray light of morning, and tears burned the backs of my eyes. I knew something was different; his kisses were more intense, his touch firmer and more demanding. It wasn't until he'd made love to me for the third time last night that it had finally hit me.
This was good bye.
A tear slipped from the corner of my eye and coasted down my cheek before melting into the fabric of the pillow beneath my head. My heart hurt as I stared at him. It was all so unfair.
I wished he could find a way to stay. Because, after last night, there was no doubt in my mind that he wanted to be here. With me. Maybe if we went to the sheriff they could find the men who'd taken him captive. Maybe he could find a job, doing… what?
A mirthless laugh caught in my throat. By his admission, he was an outlaw who existed on the periphery of society. No reputable business would hire him. And as for justice… If what Rodrigo said was true and these men really were powerful enough to control law enforcement, then what could a small town sheriff accomplish?
It was hopeless.
As if he could sense my despair, Rodrigo's dark eyes blinked open, and his gaze locked on mine. For a long moment we just stared at one another. Then, finally, he lifted a hand and traced it over my cheek. Tears sprang to my eyes once more at the tender touch, and I closed them, turning my head away so he wouldn't see.
The bed shifted as Rodrigo moved over me, framing my face in his hands. His lips trailed from my forehead down to my temple, then across my cheek before finally fitting over my mouth. I fell into the kiss, throwing my arms around him and holding him close.
He made love to me slowly, drawing it out and bringing me to the edge over and over before finally allowing me to tip over into ecstasy.
In the aftermath, we lay there in silence, both of us seemingly lost in thought. I could already feel the hole he would leave in my life, and my heart twisted. This was the last time I would ever see him; never in a lifetime of searching would I ever feel a love as strong the one I'd shared with him.
We got ready in silence, both of us seemingly lost in our own thoughts, then left the room. I couldn't help but toss one last glance over my shoulder as the door closed behind us. Part of me wanted to race back inside, shut out the world, and pretend none of this had ever happened.
But the pain that sliced through my chest reminded me that this was all too real. Still, I couldn't bring myself to regret a single second. I would never forget my time with him.
We stepped out of the elevator and headed toward the main entrance of the lodge. The lights were on inside the pro shop, and I caught sight of Jules dressing a mannequin in a colorful tennis outfit. Her gaze met mine, and I shot her a small smile. She returned it with a tight one of her own, concern etched in her features.
Rodrigo settled a hand on my lower back, and a twinge moved through my heart as I leaned into him. Was this the last time I would feel his hands on me? The last time I would hear his voice?
Everything had happened so quickly between us, but now I regretted wasting even a single moment holding myself back. Our time together had been reduced to mere minutes, and I scrambled to catalog every gesture and commit it to memory.
I wanted to grab his hand and pull him to a stop, beg him to stay. But I didn't. His mind was made up, and I knew that no matter what I did, it wouldn't be enough.
I forced one foot in front of the other as he guided me outside and into my car. The silence stretched between us as we drove to my house, charged with tension. Inside the house, he finally met my gaze. "It's time for me to leave."
I thought I heard my heart shatter in the resounding silence that followed, but I fought to keep my expression neutral. I swallowed back the tears clogging my throat and nodded. "I understand. I'll pack you a first aid kit so you can take care of your wounds."
I could feel his gaze on my back as I spun on a heel and headed into the kitchen. I pulled out rolls of gauze, antibiotic ointment, and peroxide, then stored them in a small zippered pouch.
He returned with his bag far too soon, but then, he didn't have much to pack. I glanced at him over my shoulder. I didn't want things to end like this. "I can write down my phone number if you want. In case you… need anything."
Rodrigo stared to me for several long seconds before giving a slow shake of his head. Tears burned the backs of my eyes and across the bridge of my nose, and I redirected my attention to the first aid kit in my hands. I blinked the moisture away as I zipped up the pouch.
My lungs felt tight, like I couldn't draw in a full breath, and I gently massaged the space over my heart. He didn't need me breaking down on him. I was going to put on a brave face, hold it all in until he was gone. Only then would I allow myself to grieve the loss of the only man I'd ever loved.
Finally reining in my emotions, I turned to face him. Holding out the pouch of first aid supplies, I met his stare. "I know you need to get going, but… I have something for you."
He slipped the case from my fingers with an almost imperceptible nod. Had I not been watching him, I wouldn't have seen the flash of torment in his eyes. Though it hurt like hell, I was gratified to know that this was hard for him, too. I wasn't the only one who had experienced a life-altering change over the past week and a half.
"Stay here. I'll be right back." I headed out the back door, then quickly cut across the porch and entered the greenhouse. It was muggy inside, and the riotous scent of flowers greeted me when I opened the door.
Snatching up a small pot and trowel, I filled it with dirt, then strode down the row toward one of my favorite flowers. The gift was twofold; I wanted to do something nice for him, but I also wanted him to remember me when he was far away.
I stopped in front of the brightly colored stargazer lilies, a bittersweet smile twisting my lips. Maybe he would throw it away the moment he left Pine Ridge. But maybe, just maybe, he would look at it months or years from now, and remember the time we spent together.
Carefully digging out a bulb, I potted the flower and packed the dirt in tightly around it. A whisper of movement caught my attention, and I started to turn.
"Don't move."
The pot hit the ground and shattered at my feet as the cool muzzle of a pistol pressed against my temple.