Chapter 27

CHAPTER27

“Nancy, my dear, as much as I am relishing your legs around me, you must let go,” Adam urged, laughing.

It had been a long while since they had entered the water together, yet Nancy refused to loosen her grip.

Truly, you must release me, or I do not know what I shall do.

Adam struggled inwardly, for where else could a husband’s mind wander when his wife was soaked to the skin, clinging to him, her ripe breasts pressing against him, her thighs locked tightly around his waist?

“I cannot!” Nancy protested, clinging tighter to him. “It is too deep.”

“How can it be? My feet are still touching the ground.”

She shook her head. “You are taller than I am. If I let go, I will not touch the lakebed.”

Torn between keeping her in his arms, his hands settled rather pleasingly on the swell of her backside, and actually helping her to swim, Adam stared up at her for a moment. She looked genuinely scared, her eyes flitting this way and that in a panic, her teeth anxiously grazing her lower lip.

If I were to lose you, it would devastate me.

His heart squeezed painfully as he thought of her below the surface, unmoving—just a shadow and a few tendrils of white.

“Very well, then we must both go in deeper,” he threatened, slowly walking backward.

She had to learn how to swim. That way, he could cross at least one risk from his list. He could not, however, cross himself from that list, though he was proving to be the greatest danger.

I cannot stay away from you, my darling. I simply cannot, yet…

Their earlier conversation had drained him of his neutrality. Forced to watch fear and heartbreak and pain flicker across her beautiful face, etched there by his brutal honesty, all he had wanted to do was soothe her anguish. But he had not expected his own tongue to betray him, pouring out a partial confession of affection.

I have never felt anything at all, not really, until you…

He cursed himself silently, wondering what in heaven’s name he had been thinking. Yet, that seemed to be the trouble with Nancy. Whenever he was around her, he took leave of his senses. He became a different Adam, one who felt ashamed of his sordid past, one who no longer wished to be that man, but one who was terrified that he could not change. Not permanently.

“Adam, no!” Nancy yelped. “Adam!”

The water rose higher and higher until it was up to his shoulders, prompting Nancy to try and climb him like a tree, pulling herself further above the surface… and pushing him down as she did so.

“You… will drown me!” he spluttered, kicking his legs like a frog as he lost his footing. “Nancy, you have to let go, or you… will drown… me!”

Her swimming dress was weighted at the hem so the skirts would not billow up, but they swept around his legs like tentacles as she fought to stay above the surface.

“I cannot do it!” she cried. “Please, I cannot!”

“You can!” he urged. “I am… here. I will not let… anything bad… happen to you, but… bad things… will happen to me if you—”

His head sank below the water, his arms releasing her. All Nancy had to do was release him in return, preferably before he ceased to breathe.

All at once, Adam felt her grip slacken, her body floating away from him. And as his feet touched the slippery lakebed, he propelled himself upward, breaking the surface with an almighty gasp.

Sucking in deep breaths, sweeping the hair and water out of his eyes, he searched for her… and found her just ahead of him, floating on her back, moving her hands the way he had taught her the previous day.

Of course, yesterday, he had been holding her up, steering her this way and that so she could grow accustomed to the feeling, but now, she was doing it all by herself.

“My darling!” he whooped. “My darling, you are a wonder! I told you, you could do it!”

“I cannot look at you,” Nancy replied. “I am concentrating on not sinking.”

He chuckled, tipping himself onto his back to join her. “Well, I cannot look at you either. I am sculling.”

“But you must look at me, or how shall I know if I am doing it correctly?”

Adam laughed so hard that he almost began to sink again. “You know you are doing it correctly because your mouth is not full of water, and there are no fish swimming in front of you, wondering what on earth you are.”

“Do not make me laugh!” she warned, splashing a little to right herself. “I cannot spare the breath. I am holding every last speck of air until I reach shallower water.”

He glanced over at her. “You are going the wrong way.”

“Pardon?”

“You are heading into deeper water,” he told her.

“Please, tell me you are lying!” Her voice sounded panicked, and he did not have the heart to tease her any longer.

“I am lying. You are on your way to the shore, my dearest Nancy.”

She snorted. “Pest.”

As he watched her make her way toward a spot where she could put her feet down, his heart twinged. It had been doing that a lot as of late, against his will. Indeed, as much as he tried to tell himself that he did not want this to continue beyond their honeymoon, moments like this reminded him of what he would be missing if he parted ways with his wife.

You are wounded, not damaged. Maybe she is the cure you did not realize you needed.

Staring up at the blue sky dusted with wispy clouds, Adam contemplated all the observations she had made about him. In all the years he had spent gallivanting, he had chosen to surround himself with shallow people who would not ask too many questions, and ladies who did not actually care about who he was, just his body and what he could do for them. In doing so, he had never really allowed himself to think too deeply about what motivated him to spend his days, weeks, months, years in a constant state of wild abandon, giving the scandal sheets all the gossip fodder they could ever need.

“You must have thought that… your attachment to her was a curse. Because you were attached to her and loved her, your father was able to manipulate you with that… I do not imagine that fear has gone, that allowing yourself to become attached to something means, inevitably, their suffering.”

His heart ached to even consider that her assertions might be the truth, yet he could not deny the truth in her assertions. To him, loving someone meant watching their pain, feeling their torment, wishing he could protect them but unable to do anything.

“Adam!” Nancy’s voice snatched him out of his conflicted reverie.

He lowered his legs, treading water as he looked for her. She stood on the grassy bank, grinning with such pride that he could not help but feel it in his own chest.

“You made it!”

“I told you I could!” she teased, resting her hands on her hips.

Adam took a good look at her, admiring the way her sodden dress clung to every curve like a second skin. He had imagined her figure often enough when he retired to his chambers for the night, alone and doing his best to behave, but nothing could have compared to reality.

Her waist was narrow, sweeping out into shapely hips that begged to be gripped, while her bosom was high and full and pert, the top of her pillowy breasts glistening with the diamonds that the lake had left behind. Her thighs were ample and inviting, his teeth longing to sink into the soft, supple flesh—not to bite, but to tease.

If someone told me she was a goddess, I would believe them.

Indeed, he already believed she was an angel sent from the heavens to either punish him for his sins or to try and redeem him.

“That is the easy part!” he said, grateful for the cold water, for his loins were ablaze. “Now, swim back to me the way I taught you!”

She hesitated. “But… I might catch a cold.”

“I will keep you warm,” he promised, beckoning to her with his hand. “Come to me.”

Adam watched her bosom rise and fall as she took a steadying breath, observing the muscle of her shapely thighs as she took tentative steps back into the water. She gasped as she waded deeper, the sound of it doing things to him that he was unprepared for. His chest seized, his stomach tightening, his hands itching to touch her, to caress her, to make love to her without further delay.

She would not, even if you desire it.

He recalled her crushed expression when he had mentioned Miss Catherine Eastleigh. Even with his explanation, there was no possible way that Nancy had forgiven him, and certainly, she would not have forgotten the “other woman” so soon.

Still, as Nancy’s gasps filled the air with every step she made toward him, his body tipped closer to the edge of maddening need. He longed to hear her gasps of pleasure, her moans of bliss, her whimpers of ecstasy, and his name cried out as she crested wave after wave of bodily paradise.

He wanted to move with her as if they were waltzing in the ballroom once more, attuned to one another, their bodies in perfect harmony. He wanted to be a true husband to her, sealing their union at last in a way that she would never forget, in a way that would chase away any thoughts she had of other women and everything that had happened before their marriage.

Calm yourself…

“I shall be here until dinner is served if you continue like that,” Adam called, swimming a little further back, giving her more of a challenge.

“It is slippery!” Nancy protested, the water rising to her thighs, to her hips, to her waist, to every part of her that he longed to touch.

Indeed, he doubted he had ever been more jealous of a lake.

At last, she had no choice but to begin swimming. Bending forward slowly, pushing her head and neck out first before letting the rest of her body join the movement, she circled her arms, just as he had taught her. Her legs kicked powerfully behind her, somewhat ungainly but pushing her through the water all the same.

“Perfection!” Adam shouted.

He noted the proud grin upon her face, his own lips curving into a delighted smile as she proceeded on toward him.

“Stop moving backward,” she spluttered, her movements somewhat panicky.

He chuckled. “Apologies. I was testing you.”

“This is testing enough.” She fixed her gaze upon him, kicking the rest of the way.

The very moment she came within arm’s reach, Adam grasped her, dragging her across the last short stretch and into his embrace. He had found his footing on a patch of spiny rocks, but he ignored the pain that jabbed into the soles of his feet as he held her close, nuzzling her neck.

“I am so very proud of you,” he whispered, his hand sliding up her spine to cradle the back of her head. “You have done so well, my darling. I thought it would take us at least to the end of our honeymoon before you swam alone.”

“I am not alone,” Nancy murmured, hugging him back. “You are here, guiding me through it all… and though I am loath to admit it, this swimming lark is rather wonderful. Liberating, in a way, even if you did not allow me to swim the last part by myself.”

He smiled against her skin. “I could not help myself.”

“Did you think I needed rescuing?” she teased, her fingertips curling around the back of his collar.

He shook his head lightly. “No, my darling, I think it is I who needs rescuing.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

He pulled back, gazing deeply into her eyes. There were a thousand things he wanted to say, and a thousand more that he wished to do to please her, but as his attention flitted to her lips, he let his kiss say all that he wished to say.

He caught her mouth with his in a hungry crush, giving in to the desire that had seized him so desperately. His arm encircled her waist, while his hand ran through her hair, the blonde tendrils falling loose thanks to the water untangling the ribbon from her locks. And as he kissed her hard, she kissed him back with equal fervor as if she too had been waiting for the opportunity.

“Oh, Adam,” she murmured, her hands clasping the sides of his face. “I thought you would never kiss me again.”

He dipped his head, grazing his lips against the curve of her neck as he whispered back, “I thought the same, my darling.”

Not once in the past decade had he felt shame about his exploits, not caring for anything that anyone said about him. But in meeting Nancy, in growing attached to her, he had begun to wish that he could somehow wipe the slate clean and begin again, with her. Only her.

“Let me take you to the shore,” he said, his heart pounding. “I must warm you before you fall sick again. Indeed, I do not want you to disappear for another week. I would not bear it.”

Nancy ran her fingertips through his hair, kissing him. “I do not want to leave the lake yet.”

“Trust me,” he urged, his body burning with desire. “Just this once, trust me.”