7. Hero Complex

SEVEN

HERO COMPLEX

The Chain (The Voice Performance), Girl Named Tom

Roe

Going home yesterday after the track proved to be the wrong move. I should’ve gone to Saddlers or at the very least for a run. My brain wouldn’t settle, and the quietness of the house just made it easier for me to replay the events of this afternoon over and over again. I felt like an entitled bitch all afternoon and then couldn’t sleep at night, completely restless. Not being able to shut my brain off must be the most annoying part of having ADHD. I can hyperfocus on something and be fine with it most days, but sometimes I just wish I could shut it all off and drift.

If you had told me that I was going to go from happy that the racing season is almost back, to utterly annoyed at the fact that I have to share the track with him, I would have called you a liar. If you had added that riding all afternoon was not going to be enough to get my body past the point of exhaustion, I would have said you’ve got jokes. And, if on top of that, you would have told me that I would be up and running at 5:00 am on a Monday, I would have straight up laughed in your face. Yet, here we are.

If I can’t sleep, there’s no point in staying in bed doing nothing when I can be training, doodling, or reading. With the first race right around the corner, going for a run sounded like a good idea. Baker Oaks has so many hidden trails and small areas to run that you rarely see other people, especially this early in the morning. Some people may find that creepy or unsafe, but this little town is nothing like that. I also enjoy the quiet of being outside before the sun rises. My parents always used to wake up before the sun; ‘miracles happen every day Roe, you just need to find them,’ they would say. This is the closest I feel to them. Early in the morning, before the light filters through the clouds, it’s like I can almost hear them.

The air is humid, making my hair stick to the back of my neck. The ground is soft with tiny drops of dew and the pounding of We Three is playing in my earbuds. I’m taking it all in, breathing through my discomfort, and singing softly to the lyrics of the song. That’s when I notice that there is someone else running. From here I can tell that it’s a man- broad shoulders and tall. He’s not wearing a shirt, and his eyes are looking down, so he doesn’t see me right away. I stop running as he gets closer to me, and I notice it’s Santiago. Again .

He keeps jogging and when he looks up, he sees me and his eyes lock on mine. I have mastered the ‘back off’ stare, but his gaze has nothing on mine. His eyes are dark—piercing mine with an intense stare that freezes me in place. I remove my Air Pods as he stops in front of me. His skin’s glistening and the tattoos I noticed before keep my eyes on his damn body. My mind spirals in contemplation of how I can add more to the beautiful canvas that is his golden skin.

“Roe?” he asks tentatively. Not like the confident man that I met this weekend. His voice is tender like he’s sleepy or sad. His eyes roam my body and his eyebrows slash into a frown.

“You forgot about me so quickly, Saint?” I sass, waiting for his face to relax but it doesn’t.

“Why are you out here by yourself? It’s dark,” he deadpans.

“Why are you out here by yourself?” I ask. If he’s going to say something all alpha man and shit, I’m going to lose it.

“Roe, it’s not safe. Anything could happen. Women get taken from trails like this every day. I’m sure you can protect yourself, but the truth is that any man can take you out with some force.”

“You’re right about one thing. I do know how to protect myself.” I get my knife out of my necklace and show it to him. This little knife clips on it, making it look like a shark’s tooth. It’s one of my favorite tools because it’s not flashy and I learned how to use it quickly. Then, I square him up and signal him to come near me with my empty hand.

He raises his eyebrow at me and says, “Roe.”

“Come on, let me show you I do know how to defend myself, Saint.” I smile big at him, testing the waters and his patience. He clearly has none because in three seconds flat, he has me in a lockdown that I can’t get out of, and I don’t even know where my knife went.

“See, here’s the thing. No matter how prepared you think you’re, you’re what? Five-foot-two? Three? On top of that, you’re thin. You can have all the reflexes you think you have, which are not much considering I took your knife and you didn’t even notice it, but the truth is that I have more pounds and muscle on you. And you knew I was coming.”

He lets go and I snatch my arm from him. He stands in front of me with both arms crossed over his naked chest- and fuck ! I should not be paying attention to the way his forearms flex or the way his sweat glistens over his pecs. His hair also has tiny beads of sweat dripping onto his shoulders. His eyes darken and he raises his eyebrows. Shit . He just caught me ogling him, again .

“Make no mistake, princesa. I can teach you how to better protect yourself, but your height and size are a disadvantage. Running by yourself, in the forest, in the middle of the night is another disadvantage.”

“If I cut your dick off, who would be at a disadvantage?” I threaten almost breathless.

“You need to get to it first. Now, let’s stop this fucking nonsense and tell me what you’re doing here at this time of day.”

“Running, jackass. Same as you. I’ve lived in this town for years. No bad shit happens here, and when it does, it’s not usually on this trail. People are terrified of bobcats, so they stay out of here. Actually, you’re the first person I’ve seen on this trail in probably months, especially at this time of day.”

“What if I was here to hurt you? Who would have heard you scream?”

“Oh, Saint. So cute of you to think I’m a screamer. I’m going. Leave me the fuck alone,” I snap and I’m about to run back the way I came from, when he steps closer and blocks me.

He steps around me and grabs both my wrists. He turns me and pulls me close to his chest. No, not close-- completely against him. His mouth drops next to my ear, his hot breath caresses my neck as he whispers, “I’m sure I can make you scream, princesa. Not by scaring you, but by showing you so many things. If you say you’re not a screamer, then nobody has given you anything to scream about.” He licks his lips; the sound alone has me salivating and nearly turned on. And I. Hate. It.

“I really don’t give a shit what you do with your life, but my mamá raised me to look out for people. And there’s no way I’m letting a woman put herself in danger by doing something as careless as running by herself in the middle of a fucking national forest. I knew in two seconds you had nothing more than this dainty knife on you. Anyone could have known that.” He takes the knife and clips it back into the string hanging from my neck. Clearly, I did not learn how to use this well enough.

“Do me a favor and let me run back with you,” he insists, letting go of me and leaving me breathless for the second time this morning.

“No, Saint. You may not. First of all, it’s not the middle of the night; it’s morning and the sun will rise in no time. Second, I’m not a fucking damsel in distress. I told you this yesterday, and I’m telling you again now.” I am annoyed and I sure as hell let him see it. Both my hands are on my hips and my stare is deadly. “I’m going to run back home, and you’re not coming with me. If you do, I will make sure people know you’re a fucking stalker. You won’t like it. Trust me. Go away with your hero complex and go be someone else’s saint.”

I turn around, clicking my Air Pods on, and I let the music drown my thoughts all the way home.