22. Masterpiece

TWENTY-TWO

MASTERPIECE

To Love Someone, Benson Boone

Santiago

Opening up about Ana is never easy but I would rather talk about her than to let her memory fade away. Not that I could ever forget her. Nobody who met her could, but her essence, her presence, must be carried on regardless of how hard it is for us still living.

I talked about the girls to Roe, but I didn’t tell her everything. I didn’t share that while Isa might be an absolute terror, spitfire or whatever, she also takes no shit from others. She’s the one that would go to bat for all her sisters if needed. She also can throw a football better than any man I know.

What I didn’t tell Roe was that even though Dani is the most like me, we don’t get along. She was always jealous that I was older and had more responsibilities and felt that I constantly babied her. More like parented her .

And Gabby… Well, even though she’s the baby and we all spoil her rotten, not because she’s the youngest but because we were all so worried about Ana, we kinda forgot about her. We neglected her. She grew up without the same love and affection that the rest of the girls did. So spoiling her? It’s not so much about her being the baby, but about us dealing with our guilt.

What I also didn’t tell her was that Ana was more than my little sister, she was my best friend. Yes, I’m eight years older than her but that never stopped her from wanting to hang out with her older brother. Ana always had a million questions for me and others around her. Her brain was always working and she could keep her questions going for hours. But that also meant that she was so interesting to talk to. My little genius sister was the best person to spend hours with, even when she was two and all she wanted to talk about was dinosaur facts. Even when she was nine and the girls around her wanted makeup, she wanted to know how many words she could write in one minute in two languages. Even when she was so sick, she couldn’t form whole sentences before sleep took over her. Even now when she can’t answer me, she’s my favorite person to talk to.

What I didn’t tell Roe is that I miss Ana so damn much it hurts. That our family took the hit of her loss deeply and we might never be the same again. What I didn’t say is that not a day that goes by where I don’t think about my missing sister and how empty life is without her here. What I didn’t say is that Ana would have met Roe and fallen in love with her immediately, and I think Roe would’ve liked her too.

“Why don’t you tell me something about yourself?” I ask, trying to change the topic and hoping for something lighter.

“What do you want to know?”

Everything, I want to say but I control myself. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Black, like my soul,” she replies, lifting her eyebrows at me and closing the AC vent on her side. “You?”

“It used to be green but now it’s blue.” Like your eyes, I want to say but I keep that to myself. I let the silence cover us for a minute to hide the fact that the more time I spend with her, the more I like her.

Eventually, she looks my way and whispers, “Saint?”

“Si, princesa.”

“Thanks,” she says before placing her feet on my dashboard and laying her head back. A few minutes pass before her breathing changes, and I’m left in the quiet, alone with my thoughts while she sleeps beside me.

We arrive at the track and it’s already packed. I knew this was a possibility when I decided to take the backroads. I’d rather get somewhere late and enjoy the ride. Everything happens for a reason, and if I would’ve taken the highway, I would’ve missed the beautiful and sassy blonde sleeping in my front seat. Roe is cocooned against herself, a tiny ball with her goose backpack on top of her face. It’s making me anxious, thinking about her suffocating, but every now and then she moves to stay comfortable so I know she’s fine.

I park the truck in the back of the track and start setting up. Bikes are out, gear on a plastic table next to them, and I’m setting up the bed in the trailer’s garage when Roe walks in. Stunning and pissed as usual. She has on tiny jean shorts with rips on the front and a black tank top framing her body. She’s wearing Converse instead of the Vans that I love on her so much, and socks pulled up higher than her ankles.

I know I’m gawking when her legs appear in my line of sight. I lift my gaze back to her face and smile at her, hoping she’ll give me one in return but what I get is her stomping toward me.

“What are we doing here?”

“Hello to you too, princesa,” I say, because I know that deep down she melts every time I call her that. “I’m setting up the bed in the back so one of us can sleep here. You’re welcome to walk in and see if you want to set up your stuff. The cabinets on the left are empty.” I point to the back door of the trailer signaling for her to go inside.

“I’m not staying with you. I have my tent,” she says.

“There’s plenty of room here. It would’ve been silly to set it up, especially when you need the back of your Jeep to make it work.”

“So you just assumed I would sleep with you?” she snaps, and that makes me chuckle even harder.

“I’ve got three beds here, and if we’re being honest, I’m not sleeping with you. I know how important this race is to you and I don’t want you to miss it. I can sleep back here and you can take the main bed.”

“Oh, so now you don ’ t want to sleep with me?” Fuck, you can’t win with this girl.

I walk toward her, backing her against the wall, my hands on each side of her face and my hips framing her tiny body. “Oh, I didn’t say I didn’t want to,” I whisper against her ear. “I said I’m not going to. I’m a man of word, Roe. I know there are layers and layers to you, and I will peel them all off. In the meantime, I won’t fuck you. I want you to see that there’s more that interests me than your body. But let it be clear: your body is a fucking masterpiece. Including that beautiful brain of yours.”

I tap her temple and stand there, looming over her with her back pressed against the wall, speechless. Well, that ’ s a first . “Learning about you has become my favorite subject. I hope that there’s not an inch of doubt in your mind that I’m a good student. I always get straight A’s.” I wink at her and back away slowly.

I walk out of the trailer, shouting to her, “Going to registration, you coming?” I grab both of our helmets and start walking. Shortly after, Roe’s steps catch up to me, and she snatches her helmet from my hands. Chin held high, looking forward like she didn’t shatter with my words. It’s fine, Roe. Pretend I don’t affect you as much as I know I do.