Chapter 39

chapter

thirty-nine

OWEN

Addie laughs as I finish vacuuming up the pile of pancakes into my mouth.

I catch a runaway blueberry from the side and pop it into my mouth as I bask in the light sound of her laughter. It's much better than the sounds she made last night.

She was right earlier—it did get scary there for a moment. I hated that she was in so much pain and discomfort, but I can breathe a little easier now that more color has returned to her cheeks.

The tops of her ears get even redder after I kiss her.

She nibbles on her single pancake, but she mostly munches on a few crackers.

"Still not able to eat, huh?" I wince. "And I'm a jackass who just devoured five pancakes."

"I did tell you to, so you're just being a good boy."

"You know I can't resist it when you're bossy." I wink as her easy smile sends shots of relief throughout my nervous system. I push the bakery box to the side. "Lottie sends her love with the muffins. I was supposed to ask for your favorite, but you were still asleep. She grabbed one of each."

"I'll have to send her a thank-you cobbler."

"A text is fine."

She rolls her eyes. "What are you doing today?" she asks over her glass of water before she sips.

"Nothing planned. You?"

"In light of recent events, I'm going to take it easy, especially now that I don't have a whole house to clean and disinfect."

"Movie marathon?" I suggest.

"You'd be okay with watching movie after movie on a sunny Saturday?" She arches a brow.

"If it's with you, yes." I push my plate aside and fold my arms over the table in front of me. "Besides, I'm a bit of a controlling nurturer and would like to keep an eye on you to ensure you're actually going to take it easy today."

"As long as you don't strap an ankle monitor to me, you can stay," she teases and rises to put away our plates.

Once I thank her for breakfast again, I hold my hands up. "I'm going to wash these bad boys. Got a little crazy with the syrup."

I waltz out of the kitchen, easily making my way around her house after only a day. We got extremely acquainted yesterday as I tried to tackle the things that needed to be done around here.

In the bathroom, I change the Band-Aid on my finger from where I cut it on the lawn mower as I installed a new spark plug. It was me against the wily beast, and while it got its jab in, I came out on top and was able to fix it in order to cut down the jungle in Addie's yard.

I exit to find Addie chewing on her thumbnail as she paces the living room. "What's wrong? You getting sick again?" I ask, my instincts jumping into emergency mode yet again.

"What happened at school yesterday?" She pauses and stares blankly at me. "Because if that other stuff wasn't all a dream, then neither was the fact that you brought Sable to my class or that you gave me a ride home. Not just that, but you invited random people to my house, where you showered and made yourself comfortable." She waves her hands around.

"Did you really think I was going to let you drive home by yourself? You were in no condition," I reason.

"Owen, Sable—our freaking boss—saw you give me a ride home."

"So?" I blink, completely lost on her zigzagging trains of thought today. She's definitely disoriented, and I don't blame her, not after the horrendous fucking night she had.

But I thought we were done with her analysis of the events.

Addie paces again, throwing her head back to look at the ceiling. "Who else saw you giving me a ride? And what about Lottie and Bo—who are they going to tell that you were here? Can they be trusted not to tell anyone about us?"

And there it is.

Her sudden panic makes sense.

She's worried about our relationship, which is supposed to be a secret, but I've opened a can of worms, apparently.

"They're not going to tell," I say as I stuff my hands into my pockets, my shoulders heavy.

"Did you ask them not to? Did they reassure you they wouldn't?" she presses.

"I thought asking them not to would be suspicious, so I didn't. Besides, you had dinner with Lottie the other night. Her dropping off muffins is hardly a reason to panic."

"Great," she clips. "This is just great ."

"What's going on, Lockhart?" I ask on a sigh. "What's the big deal?"

She gapes. "The big deal is that our personal life is about to be aired out all over town like a freaking tornado siren." She snaps and points a finger up, a lightbulb flashing behind her eyes. "Unless we get ahead of it. I'm supposed to have coffee with Sable this weekend. I could call her to meet now, where I play off some story of you and me together as a rumor, and I can nip it right in the bud."

"Or, you could tell her the truth," I blurt.

She snaps her horrified gaze up to mine.

And I freeze.

I hadn't meant to say it, but now that it's out there, I'm glad I did.

"Are you insane?" she squeaks. "We can't tell her the truth. Not yet."

"You like me, and I fucking like you. Why put off the inevitable?"

"We're not there yet."

"What will it take for us to get there , Addie?" I urge. "Because I'm fucking there."

"What are you saying?"

"I more than like you," I say on an exhale. "I never stop thinking about you. I never stop wanting to make you happy. You're my favorite, and I don't just mean my favorite woman, teacher, or even dancer. You're my favorite… everything."

Her eyes well with tears as a deep blush floods her cheeks.

"I don't want to keep you a secret anymore. I want to hold your hand while we walk around the square downtown. I want to dance with you at karaoke night at the Tap. I want to tell the world about us because you're the best fucking thing that's ever happened to me. You're too amazing to keep a secret, and I never should've agreed to do so to begin with."

A tear slips down her cheek, and her lips part.

I brace myself against the back of her couch, my heart lurching over and over again like runners clearing hurdles on a track.

Addie worries her lip between her teeth, and her silence is complete torture. Then she shakes her head, and my stomach sinks. "I can't. Not yet. It's not the right time."

"The job will be the job, no matter the time."

She scoffs. "I don't expect you to understand. You don't care about things the way I do. You just cruise through life with a joke and a grin, and everything works out for you. But that's not the reality for the rest of us. We have odds stacked against our character."

"What does that mean?"

Her face twists. "My mother's made quite the name for herself around here. She's unreliable, flighty, and loose, to name a few poor qualities of hers. Sleeping with a co-worker is something she'd do—and has done plenty of times. When she's held a job for more than a week, that is." She shakes her head, and her voice is unsteady when she poses, "Do you know how hard it's been to detach myself from her? To prove I'm nothing like her, not only to myself but to this town? This is complicated, okay?"

I blow out a frustrated breath, attempting to absorb what's really been going on here. It's not just about the job, the school, or the future.

It's her mother—the one who's been holding Addie back for years.

From where I stand, she's let her mother control her and her actions for so long. I just never thought I'd be caught in the crosshairs.

Disappointed doesn't even begin to cover the feeling creeping its way down my spine.

Shaking my head, I stalk toward the front door, with her hot on my heel, and I jerk my jacket from the rack. I whirl around to her and point around the wadded-up jacket in my hand. "I care about things. I care a lot . There's nothing more I can say or do to prove that to you or to show you that I care more about you than my career or reputation or anything else. You clearly don't feel the same, so we should stop wasting each other's time."

"You're ending this?" She freezes with her eyes wide, and the surprise and regret mingling in her blue irises slice through my stomach. "You know I like you, Owen," she says, her lips trembling. "I wouldn't have put myself out there like I have the last couple of weeks if I didn't feel big things for you, but it's not so simple."

"It could be."

"There's so much to figure out."

"All that matters is how we feel."

"So, what then? I either tell the school and everyone else in town about us, or we're done? Is that it?" She purses her lips and juts her hip out, challenging me like she's done so many times before.

But this is something else entirely.

This is the moment of truth—the difference between despair and happiness.

"As a matter of fact, yes." I widen my stance and stand my ground.

Her mouth falls open. "Are you seriously giving me an ultimatum right now?"

I step into her space, glad she doesn't back away. "Feel free to make a pros and cons list to help you out."

Addie shoves me backward, or at least she tries to. I don't budge, but she continues her feeble attempts, anyway. "Get out!"

"As I've said before, I'm a patient man, but don't take too long to decide. I'd hate for you to lose too much sleep over this."

"Leave. Now!" She gives me one last push, and I let my feet stumble backward for her benefit.

"Talk soon, angel," I call over my shoulder as I disappear through her door and march down her steps, my stomps heavy like I'm crushing spiders.

I flinch against the late-morning sun in my eyes, and the fall breeze cools my flushed skin.

I'm hot. Seething. Frustrated.

Addie likes me. She didn't have to explicitly say it for me to know it's the truth, but it's not enough. Not when she insists on hiding me away like I'm a shameful mistake.

Her job and public moral grounds are important to her, and I respect them.

But I also respect what we have, and I can't stand by while she stows us away like a dusty old trunk under the bed.

My mind's reeling as I drive around town. I could go home, but it's so empty. I'd go crazy.

Without thinking, I find myself driving toward my parents' house, antsy for that chat my mom promised.