23. Acceptance

23

Acceptance

Hayley

The game ended thirty minutes ago, and Maxime texted me to let me know he'd be here soon. I told Emma she didn't have to wait around since I'm going back to his place tonight. I think.

Finally, he meets me near the VIP entrance, opening his arms for me. I jump straight into my favorite place on earth, rewarded by the warm scent of his cologne. Even if tonight was weird, and it dredged up a lot of my demons, I'm happy to see him. And I'm not mad. It's not his fault girls go crazy around him, and he didn't encourage that girl's behavior at all. He was a perfect gentleman.

"Congratulations," I mumble against his neck. "You were amazing."

He holds me tight, and the firmness of his grip envelops me in a feeling of safety. "Thank you," he says as I slide along his body. He reaches for my jaw to place a long, soft kiss on my lips. "I wanted to give my girl a good show."

I smile against his lips before kissing him again. "You did."

Once we escape the crowds, we walk to his car and drive back to his apartment. It's weird knowing that I'm going to spend an entire night alone with Max for the first time since we started dating. And after that makeout session, I can imagine what he expects to happen tonight. I want it too, but I don't know if I can. What if he sees my exposed body and decides he doesn't want me anymore? I've been doing a good job at hiding the spots I don't like, after all.

"Are you okay?"

I snap my head toward him. "Yeah. Fine."

His hand finds my thigh and lingers there. "That bra toss was super weird, right?" He chuckles nervously.

"Definitely," I say, forcing a smile.

"I'm sorry. "

"Why?" I place my hand on top of his. "It's not your fault."

"I know, but I'm guessing that wasn't cool for you."

The fact that he cares so deeply about my feelings shows me how good Maxime is and reminds me how lucky I am to be his girlfriend. "It wasn't exactly pleasant, but I survived. You didn't say yes to her proposal, so I'm good."

He swings his head toward me, eyes wide. "She proposed?"

"Yup. Right next to your girlfriend. She didn't shy away from the flirty comments either."

He squeezes my thigh and shakes his head. "That's insane. We can't hear much that goes on behind the glass with all the noise. I just thought she wanted to get me to say hello."

I puff out a laugh. "She wanted a lot more than that."

"Well, too bad for her. I'm taken."

I smile, and my shoulders relax a little as he rolls into a parking garage. We soon get out of the car and into an elevator.

All the while, he can't keep his hands to himself, and I'm glad he doesn't. He guides me backward until I'm pressed against the wall of the elevator, and his lips trail from my cheeks to my neck, grazing my collarbone. My hands roam over his back, wanting to feel him .

"I love it when you wear my jersey," he murmurs, stepping back to take in the sight as the elevator stops.

When the door slides open, I follow him to his apartment. His living room is mostly empty. There are a couple pieces of furniture, but no decorations whatsoever. You'd think no one lives here, and it makes my designer heart a little sad.

"You're in serious need of an interior designer, Beaumont," I say, looking around as I venture further in, getting a glimpse of the dining room and kitchen.

He chuckles behind me, locking the front door. "Agreed. Know anyone?"

I wheel around to face him. The idea of furnishing and decorating Maxime's apartment brings a rush of adrenaline through my veins. Ideas flash through my mind. "I guess I could fit that in my schedule."

Laughing, he stretches his arms out to me. I somehow contain myself, though I'm tempted to run to him. When I take his hands, he pulls me closer, pressing his forehead against mine before our frantic kiss from the elevator picks up where it left off. His lips crash against mine, demanding and insistent, igniting a wildfire that threatens to consume me. I don't know what it is about Maxime, but no single kiss is ever enough. I want it to last forever. There's a rawness to his touch, a primal need that matches my own. Something unstoppable.

His hands dip under my jersey, burning the skin of my lower back. He starts to lift the fabric, and my panic alarm blares in my head. He can't see me, touch me. I have no doubt he's been with gorgeous girls with flawless bodies before. I'm nothing like them. I take a step back, catching my breath. "I'm sorry. I can't."

My heart pounds harder than ever, and my blood seems frozen beneath my skin. I turn away, water pooling in my eyes, and hurry toward the couch. Why am I like this? Why can't I be normal? I sit down on the couch, head in my hands, attempting to level out my breathing.

"What's wrong?" Maxime asks, his voice soft and full of concern. The couch dips slightly next to me, and Maxime's body heat enshrouds me like a reassuring halo.

But my insecurities are stronger. They're always stronger. I don't have the words to express what I'm feeling, and I can't bear to look him in the eye.

He wraps an arm over my shoulders, dragging me against him. "Hayley, talk to me. What's going on? I wasn't expecting anything, and I don't want us to do anything you're not ready for. If you don't want—"

A wild laugh I didn't know I was suppressing escapes me, and I remove my hands from my burning face, tears rolling down my cheeks. "It's not that I don't want it, Max. I just can't . I can't be naked in front of you. I can't let you see what's under this," I say, pinching my jersey, "because I hate it. You should be with the girl who threw her bra at you." More tears stream down my cheeks. "You should be dating someone who's as hot as you. Someone with a body worthy of an athlete."

He closes his eyes for a second, then takes my hands. "Are you crazy? You are absolutely gorgeous. Why would I want anyone but you, Hayley Nash?"

I hear his words, but they don't cut through the thick layer of self-loathing around me.

"Look at me," I say with another bitter laugh as I wipe my tears. "There's not a single drop of femininity in my body. I have square shoulders, a flat chest, a wide waist, bulky thighs, and strong calves. If it wasn't for the pink in my hair, I'm sure everyone would be calling me ‘Sir.' I'm a far cry from the delicate flower that guys are into."

"Who said all guys like delicate flowers? Maybe some do, but not this guy. I love your body, Hayley. It's strong and curvy and perfect. You're perfect."

I hear his words, but they don't sink in.

"Come here," he says, taking me by the hand and dragging me to the entryway, where a large mirror is mounted on the wall. "Look at you, Hayley. "

I instinctively turn my head. The last thing I want is to see my reflection right now. I hate everything about it.

"Please," he whispers, standing behind me. I turn my head to face the mirror but close my eyes. Maxime's hands fall on my shoulders, then travel down my arms, the callused pads of his fingers setting my skin aflame. He kisses my right shoulder, the spot behind my neck, then the left shoulder. "I love your shoulders, just like I love everything else about you. They're firm and incredibly sexy."

My heart quickens, and I force myself to listen to him.

His hands slide down my arms until they settle on my waist. "This waistline is tantalizing. The way it moves when you walk, how it feels in my hands . . ."

Swallowing hard, I lift my head without opening my eyes, trying to revel in his words. Accepting them.

"And don't even get me started on these thighs," he says, rubbing them and effectively setting them on fire. "So full and voluptuous. Sensual."

I press my lips together. Sensual? Is that really what he thinks of me?

"Frankly, I could name every single bone and muscle in your body and tell you how much I love it. But I won't, ‘cause that would take way too long."

That earns him a shy smile .

His hands find my hips again, tracing the curves and contours, and my breath catches in my lungs.

"Open your eyes, Hayley. See how beautiful you are. How crazy you make me." His lips blaze a trail of fire down my neck, and I allow myself to open my eyes. Maxime's gaze is burning through the glass, compounding the heat of his body against mine. "It's insane to me that you don't see it, Hayley. The second I laid eyes on you, I lost interest in every other woman on the planet."

His eyes are so intense, they finally melt down my defenses. My heart leaps in my chest, and I turn around, grabbing his jaw as I kiss him even more fervently than before.

He breaks the kiss, his mouth hovering near mine "Never doubt that, to me, you're the most gorgeous girl in the universe," he says against my lips.

And in this moment, I believe him with all my heart. I know it may not always be the case, but whenever those insecurities come creeping in, I'll have this moment to remember. I'll think about his hands on my body, the sound of his voice as those beautiful words leave his lips, and the look in his eyes, intense and full of desire. And maybe, just maybe, I'll start to see myself through the lenses of the fantastic Maxime Beaumont.