11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

W e decided we'd leave the next morning, giving me time to pack. Not that I had much to bring. My gaze drifted toward the bookshelf in my room, the dagger still impaled in the side. My mother's book sat on the top shelf—a story about a mother who'd been gifted a daughter by the gods. The daughter had mismatched eyes like mine, making it my favorite when I was a child. It was the same story that Teeg requested almost every night of the girl who loved her sister. I grabbed it, stuffing it away, before yanking free the dagger.

On my way out of the room, my eyes stopped on the vase containing the rose Caelus had been looking at. It was empty. The rose had been a gift from Marus. I'd learned it didn't need attention when I'd forgotten to water it. After a week, not a single petal had shriveled or fallen. I'd checked over my room for the rose but didn't find it, so I had continued packing.

That night, I found Marus in his study and brought up my concerns of being found unworthy by the gods again.

Marus said, "Klareth wasn't innocent. I don't know about her personal life, but she killed Tryssa. And there were other bodies."

He was right. Klareth hadn't been innocent. That chamber within the catacombs covered in ritual markings and littered with limp corpses removed any semblance of innocence. Had she sent other children to Lord Ebonhammer—those she thought might be the Golden Child? A bitter taste filled my mouth.

Marus stood and pulled a necklace from his pocket. "Wear this. It may bring you peace and perhaps a little luck." A silver lotus with a moonstone embedded in the center dangled from the chain. The lotus was the flower of the goddess of luck and freedom's symbol. He helped me with the clasp.

Once it was around my neck, I held it up. "Just because she wasn't innocent, that doesn't make it right. Does it?"

He picked up his wineglass from the coffee table. "That is for you to decide, Eira. I am sure the gods are more understanding than you give them credit for."

"Do you think she's been partly responsible for the disappearances? Several of the missing have been children."

"I'm afraid we can't rule it out. But you're leaving the temple and venturing to Tiruhm. You wanted to speak with the Inquisitive in the past, and Klareth wouldn't let you, right?"

I nodded.

"Perhaps speaking with another Divine will give you some answers."

At one time, I'd wanted to do that. But stories implied the Inquisitive didn't sit still and the Refulgent rarely left Ryseer. She might not even be in Tiruhm. "Oh, did you take the rose you gave me?"

Marus shook his head.

I'd have to ask Alissa, then, and I hadn't seen her since Klareth's death was announced. But there would be time for that when I returned.

All that was left to do before morning was assign someone to look over the temple.

Thankfully, Marus agreed, but only if I sought out a replacement for him. As acting high priest, he planned to allow Malik to investigate the catacombs. Their interests were tied primarily to the glowing emerald stone, according to Marus.

I avoided the Chamber of Gods and headed back to my room to sleep. That didn't stop the judgmental stare of the statues penetrating through the stone doors, all of them seeming to wait to see what I would do.

The next morning, Selena and, to my surprise, Alissa met with me. Together, they presented several sets of clothes imbued by the Copper Jackals' enchanter to offer protection. They appeared to be a variation of traditional robes, a way to honor my time with the temple while appearing, as Selena put it, "more fashionable."

I made my way to the outskirts of the city, cobalt swaths of fabric swishing between my legs. At least the clothes were less cumbersome than the dresses or robes. With a cloak, I'd look like anyone else.

The last time I'd gone somewhere new, it'd been to come here. But now I was leaving, headed right back to the city I'd left and the grieving mother—Dorian's—I'd abandoned.

Caelus adjusted the bags strapped to a beautiful large black horse near the city's edge beneath an oak tree. A golden-jackal emblem on the bridle gleamed in the sunlight. It was the first time I'd seen him since he revealed his status as a crown's guard. He didn't seem unlike the scholar's assistant I'd gotten to know over the past few weeks, yet he was wholly different at the same time.

His movements seemed more graceful, sure. Then there was the black leather he wore and the weapons neatly strapped to him. There were no fewer than three daggers that I could see, and he slid a sheathed sword into a strap along the saddle. Has everything been an act? What did he think could happen on this trip? Or did being overly prepared come with being a crown's guard?

As I continued toward Caelus, none of the townspeople paid me any mind.

I sighed. We had a lot of ground to cover, and it would be a few days before we'd arrive. I wasn't looking forward to the hours of travel on horseback.

But Caelus only had one horse—not two.

"Is there some sort of mistake?" I asked.

He faced me, raising a questioning brow.

I gestured toward the animal. "With the horses."

He patted the horse's neck, his lips twitching up. "Malik said you didn't know how to ride."

It was bad enough I was stuck with him, his handsome face, and his charm. Being that close? I couldn't afford that kind of distraction. Especially after learning he'd been keeping his role a secret and that he possibly knew I'd killed Klareth. Gods, if he went to the catacombs after he saw me that night, there would be no other obvious explanation. And he was right on top of all of it.

"But that look on your face isn't too thrilled."

I frowned. How could I get out of it?

"Good. You haven't left yet," a voice called out behind me.

I turned around.

Esteban was pushing his way through the busy cobbled street.

"Esteban?" Everyone had been busy after Klareth's and Veth's deaths, so I didn't expect a chance to give Esteban a goodbye.

"I'll join you in a few days. Malik told me what you're doing, and I won't be letting you run off too far on your own, girl."

He knew I wouldn't be alone, but I didn't point that out. "Any news about Veth's death?" I asked.

Esteban shook his head. "Malik asked me to stay for now. He hopes to find something soon."

Klareth's and Veth's deaths occurring on the same night had likely sent the guild into an upheaval. "I'll miss you," I said, kneeling down and hugging him.

He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing. "You're a soft one," he laughed. "And I'll be sure to bring some of that wine you like."

I smiled and nodded against his shoulder.

He let go and took a step back, looking toward Caelus. "I don't much trust you, but keep her safe."

Caelus nodded. "With my life."

Esteban turned and headed toward Copper Alley.

I watched until he disappeared into the crowd. Dusmir had become my home, in a way. It'd be strange not to see anyone from the temple or sneak out. Even the routines Klareth had put me through would be gone.

I turned to face my current dilemma of trying to avoid riding one horse with Caelus. But it was such a stupid thing to care about, given everything. Teeg was missing, Tryssa died barely a day ago. My stomach dropped. And I killed Klareth.

Caelus placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's time to get going."

I didn't protest the arrangement and placed a foot in the stirrup. We didn't have the time it would take for me to learn how to ride properly on the way. Even if Malik thought that Teeg would remain unharmed, that didn't mean it was wise to take longer than necessary.

Caelus helped me onto the horse. He swung up behind me, and I did my best to stay straight and avoid leaning against him. Within seconds, we were off.

Caelus followed the worn dirt road that connected Dusmir to a trading town. Colors shifted from green to yellow and orange, and leaves fell like snow in the slightest autumn breeze. Midday sunlight poured through the various cedar and oak trees. The chilly air seeped deep, all the way into my bones, despite my cloak.

Once I found Teeg, he'd still need someone to keep him safe. But could that really be me? Malik was better suited to it, even if his personality was less than friendly on a good day.

I sighed.

The Golden Child. Teeg seemed like an ordinary boy. Nothing stood out about him, despite his prowess with esprit. He blended in. I'd envied it at the temple.

Maybe Teeg and I weren't so different. We shared the burden of having a power neither of us asked for. People would try to use him once they knew the Golden Child was alive; I knew it wouldn't stay hidden for long.

I hoped our journey would remain quiet. Calm. That we would avoid running into any creatures from the Abyss or otherwise and arrive in Tiruhm safely.

Then there was the man sitting behind me, whom I was avoiding all contact with. And failing, given our circumstance atop the horse.

All the questions I had for him seemed off-limits now. Everything he'd said about the king was at odds with his position—a position he so carefully avoided mentioning. And it was none of my business.

But why did he choose to come with me? If he completed his assignment with Marus, he would need to go back to Ryseer, wouldn't he? The whole situation was confusing. So we rode in awkward silence.

"Something on your mind?" Caelus asked eventually.

"Nothing at all."

"Really? Because I'm certain I've heard you sigh at least five times in the past hour."

Have I? "I don't know what you're talking about."

He chuckled behind me. "We'll be on the road for a while longer. If you need to rest, lean against me."

"I'm fine," I lied. Truthfully, I hadn't expected riding to be so uncomfortable. Muscles I didn't know I had were sore. My lower back ached from sitting straight to avoid exactly what he was suggesting. But leaning against him would be warmer.

"I overheard you with Esteban. How well did you know Veth?"

I frowned. Other than wanting me to join the guild, I didn't know much about her. "She was always kind to me," I offered.

"It's best not to mistake kindness as virtuous."

I squeezed the pommel of the saddle. "And how well could you have known her?" Veth had never mentioned having a contact within Ryseer, but she had little reason to share that with me.

A light breeze blew my hair into my face. He tucked the loose strands behind my ear, his fingers grazing my cheek. "I spoke to her a couple of times. She reminded me of someone who was once kind. I learned the hard way not to be so trusting."

I snapped my mouth shut.

Veth and I had interacted a few times. She was kind, but I knew her agenda was to get me to join the Copper Jackals. Maybe Caelus was right, but I'd never know now that she was gone. Would Malik even let me join the guild without Veth?

"Why aren't you headed back to Ryseer?" I asked, changing the subject.

He adjusted the reins. "Officially, I completed my task in Dusmir. But with the disappearances and discovery that Klareth, a high priestess, was involved with sending a child— children —to Lord Ebonhammer, it'd be negligent to return to the royal city without investigating." He sighed, blowing a stray strand of my black hair forward. "Besides, Tiruhm was the last place my sister was seen."

Sister? That surprised me. I couldn't imagine him in a brotherly role. "And you think Lord Ebonhammer may be involved?"

"Anything is possible. She tends to be a snoop—sticking her nose where it doesn't belong."

"Do you think she was sent there like Teeg?"

He sighed once more. "I'm doubtful. She's nearly an adult and was in Ryseer when I left. But I intend to find her."

I pulled my cloak tighter around me. Could the Dawn Conclave have been involved in the increasing disappearances? Surely the Copper Jackals would have learned if they were. Then again, maybe not. They weren't on good terms with the High Houses. And if the Midnight Wolves ever learned anything, they were unlikely to share information with the Copper Jackals. They'd rather focus on their rivalry.

But we needed to speak with Lord Ebonhammer. Hopefully, a Divine could gain an audience. Then there was Caelus. As a crown's guard, he might have sway to see him.

I wanted to help Caelus find his sister too. I prayed to Wrynal's twin, Renelle, goddess of mercy, that she remained safe.

The sun sank, and dark clouds took over the sky by the time I finally caved and leaned into Caelus's hard chest. His heat enveloped me, sending warm tingles through my body. A sound of relief escaped.

He chuckled. It rumbled through me, and I was grateful he couldn't see my embarrassment.

"I'm surprised you volunteered for this," he said.

"Someone had to go. The Copper Jackals are busy enough with Veth's death and protecting Dusmir."

"Teeg is important. I'm sure someone else would have gone."

"It would have been wrong not to help. Especially since I wasn't able to protect him from Klareth."

"Ah, yes. The dead high bitch. You know, I never liked her, and Marus never had a kind word about her either. Obviously, none of this is your fault."

But wasn't it? In the end, I'd killed her. It just wasn't before Teeg was put in danger. Having Divine power hadn't helped—the gods hadn't either. Maybe Klareth wanting to know if they'd abandoned us had merit. I chose not to voice that to Caelus.

I tugged the hood of my cloak up moments before the rain fell, and a wolf howled in the distance. Caelus eased the horse into a canter. Buildings peppered the landscape along the horizon. The sprawling fields and tree lines were replaced with pastures of livestock and growing crops as we neared the town.

The tempest beneath my skin purred in response to the rain and thunder, and my shoulders relaxed. It always rose to the surface to greet storms, calling to the Divine power within me. The lightning inside me liked the rain and the thunder and always left me with a sense of calm.

We stopped in front of an inn. The dark wooden structure appeared newer among the homes and storefronts. Caelus helped me down from the horse, and the stable-hand whisked it away after Caelus paid him.

Inside, people drank and gambled, hiding away from the downpour. The rowdiness wasn't unlike the Sleeping Alligator, but I missed the warmth of the forge. I smiled, thinking of Esteban and how he might like the small inn, even if he'd suggest his own improvements.

I abandoned Caelus and ordered a glass of wine at the bar. I took a long drink of the cheap, sour wine that reminded me of vinegar. Esteban's sweet vintage really had been a luxury.

"If I recall, you had wine the night we met," Caelus said, joining me.

I tapped my fingers along the glass. "It helps." I took another drink. "But Esteban's is better."

He leaned forward, elbows on the counter. "What does it help?"

"Oh. I . . . The lightning . . . Well, it isn't always easy to control." I averted my gaze back to the wineglass. "Did you get the rooms?" I asked, avoiding the subject.

He nodded and headed for the stairs. I followed, sipping the wine, until we stopped in front of one of several doors. He unlocked it and pushed it open. I stepped inside, but Caelus followed me and sat on the bed.

"This was the only room," Caelus said.

My grip tightened on the wineglass stem. The shoddy bed, barely big enough for two people, was in the center. A small bedside table sat on both sides. There was a door that led to an attached bathing room, and there wasn't enough space for either of us to sleep on the floor comfortably.

He smirked in that odd mischievous yet arrogant way. "You look like you could use more of that wine."

I looked away and drained the rest.

"Your integrity is safe, Tempest ."

My face flamed. "I'm not concerned about that." It wasn't as though I didn't want to or that I thought he would try anything without my consent, but sharing a bed was something I'd never done. The most I'd managed was kissing. Klareth's punishment for having sex wouldn't have been worth even trying. But to share with Caelus? Handsome, with-easy-to-get-lost-in-eyes Caelus? I fought the urge to chew the corner of my lip.

He stood and crossed the short distance between us, leaving the slightest bit of space. Dark storm-cloud eyes stared into mine. "Bathe first. I'll get us food." His fingers brushed mine, slipping the wineglass from my hand. He stepped around me with enough grace so that our bodies didn't collide in the cramped quarters.

Of course I'd be stuck with him, and I was finding it harder and harder to ignore how handsome he was.

I did as he said and scrubbed away the day. In the bathing chamber, I stared at the black silk nightdress. Regret filled me for not bringing along a robe or more modest clothing to sleep in. What I owned was limited since I wasn't supposed to leave the temple.

I twisted my hair between my hands, my gaze shifting to the clothes I'd stripped off. But it didn't matter what I wore. Caelus had seen my naked body when I'd nearly assaulted him in my room. He had even been a sort of gentleman about it, considering he'd kept his eyes on mine instead of wandering—after he'd gotten an eyeful.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I slipped on the little dress, letting it fall to the middle of my thighs. With a deep breath, I pulled open the door to the bedroom. My skin prickled in the cool bedroom air. Caelus sat on the bed with a tray of food he was picking at, the black leather he'd been wearing abandoned. A full glass of wine was on the bedside table nearest me.

"I was beginning to wor—" His eyes darkened.

Flattered. I think that's how I should have felt when a man's eyes heated—not that I had much experience with such things. I pulled my hair forward, twisting it, as if it was some sort of shield between us.

"Well, you certainly didn't drown."

"What?" I breathed.

He stood, clearing his throat. "You took so long I was beginning to worry you may have drowned."

I got into the bed, thankful for the warm blankets. "I doubt that was a serious concern."

"Crazier things have happened," Caelus said, stepping toward the bathing chamber and pulling off his dark tunic. The muscles of his back and shoulders constricted and moved, and I thanked the gods he wasn't facing me, because I couldn't tear my gaze away.

The door closed, leaving my body flushed.

While he bathed, I eyed the tray and laughed at the single small chocolate pastry. I ate and sipped the wine and tried not to think about how thoughtful Caelus had been. With nothing better to do, I braided my damp hair. Once it was done, I laid back against the wooden headboard and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

The reality that Caelus and I would share a bed grew closer. It was such a mundane thing I'd spent years longing for but never able to have because of Klareth.

We'd just be sleeping, but even that would be the most—well, second-most—intimate thing I'd ever done. Nearly assaulting Caelus while I'd been naked might have been number one.

The door of the bathing room opened, and I jumped. My attention flew to him. His tanned skin and lean muscles were on full display. My eyes lingered on the taut lines of his stomach and trailed down to the indents of his hips that disappeared beneath linen pants that hung low.

"Tell me something," he said, drawing my gaze up to his lazy smirk. "What has your face so red?" His eyes glittered with amusement.

He knows exactly why. I looked away. "I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."

"Certainly not."

I slid down into the bed and turned onto my side, away from him, and closed my eyes again. The bed shifted in front of me—on Caelus's side—and the blankets lifted slightly. There'd been no sound of footsteps indicating he'd moved.

Caelus said, "I'm not sure facing this way has the desired effect you were hoping for."

In turning away, I was facing exactly where he would be.

"Pretending to sleep didn't work last time."

I sighed, opening my eyes. Caelus was on his side, his head propped on a fist. "Do you need something?" I asked.

"Not particularly."

I studied his face. Light stubble lined his jaw, and his eyes crinkled slightly when he grinned. "You have a lot of leeway for a crown's guard."

He raised a brow. "I assume you're referring to the fact I'm not headed straight back to the king."

I nodded against the pillow.

His fingers tapped along his leg. "My position as crown's guard is higher than most. It grants me a degree of freedom others don't have to investigate matters that may be of interest to the king." He shifted, lying back on the bed. "This one happens to involve you and my sister."

I hadn't expected such an honest answer. To be so close to the king likely meant he had many secrets—ones he couldn't share. Would he tell the king about Teeg being the Golden Child?

He turned his head to me. "Why do you drink to control your esprit? Doesn't seem like the most effective way."

I drew in my bottom lip. "I wouldn't have called Klareth the best of mentors."

"And what would you have called her?"

There wasn't a simple answer to that.

When I didn't respond, he said, "We'll work on your skills. It shouldn't be too difficult on horseback. Before you know it, you'll be a full-fledged lightning bug."

I repressed a laugh. "Lightning bug?"

He shrugged. "It's fitting, isn't it?"

I shook my head and turned away. "Good luck with your lessons. I'm not sure it's meant to be tamed."

"Start with believing in yourself."

In all the years I'd struggled to control the tempest, I'd never been given a reason to believe it could be. Tomorrow Caelus would see how much of a lost cause I was.