Chapter 43

‘No, Tom, you've got it wrong,' I insist. ‘Frank's a liar, he was…'

‘Jesus, does a word of truth ever come out of your mouth?' Tom cuts across me. ‘Dad was right about you all along.' Right about what? What did Gary say about me, the fucking arsehole. I told you he's never liked me. ‘Do you know what I think, Bella?' I do a little shaky head thing, almost like a tremor. ‘I think you're only saying all this now because you got caught.' I shake my head to and fro, to and fro. ‘I don't think you were ever going to tell me about Liam.' No, no, no. I was! ‘I think you were going to just carry on letting me think I'm Georgia's dad.' His words come at me like sharp knives. ‘Because God forbid anyone tries to ruin your perfect life.'

‘You've got it all wrong,' I retort, fresh tears blurring my vision. ‘If only you'd let me explain, I....'

He raises his palm to shut me up, takes a gulp of cognac and swishes it around in his mouth like a rinse. I bite the flesh inside my bottom lip to stop myself from bawling. ‘Okay, I admit I've been a bit economical with the truth.' I pause, tap my fingers against the table nervously. My entire body is trembling. ‘But I was only trying to protect you.'

Tom raises an eyebrow. ‘Oh, Please.'

‘Just give me a chance to tell you what happened. The truth. And why Frank is trying to destroy our marriage.'

‘Bit late for that.'

‘Please hear me out.' Tom shrugs as if to say, go on then, then takes another big gulp of cognac.

I take a deep, shaky breath and begin – I hired Frank as my personal trainer, didn't tell him because I knew he'd blow a gasket about his fees. But I needed to get into shape. It was important to me. I was beginning to feel invisible. I was putting on weight, getting saggy, feeling low. ‘We were getting on brilliantly and then one day he tried it on with me.' Tom looks incredulous. ‘Tried to kiss me. I pushed him away; told him I was happily married. But he wouldn't take no for an answer. That's why I quit the gym.'

‘Another lie,' Tom groans, ‘why am I not surprised?'

‘On the day we went to Linda and Theo's, I found him outside our house.' Tom gives me a sharp look. ‘And before you say anything, I didn't give him our address. He got Serval's assistant to look it up on the system. He told me he was returning my boxing gloves but then tried to persuade me re-join the gym, called his come-on a misunderstanding. Gave me some sob story about his landlord putting up the rent. God, that man spends money like water. I don't know where he gets it from. Maybe he's an escort.' I laugh lightly but Tom is looking at me as if he wants to kill me.

‘Anyway,' I continue, ‘when I refused, he completely lost it.' Tom frowns. ‘He was scary, intimidating. Later that night, low and behold, he turns up with Zelda on his arm.' I exhale a trembly breath. ‘Frank is clever, Tom.' I wipe a tear that is curving over my cheek. ‘Everything he does is calculated. Planned.'

‘Have you quite finished?'

‘Yes,' I say, wiping my nose with the back of my arm. ‘Well, say something then.'

Tom snorts and looks at me in a way he never has before. The chair grazes against the tiles as he shoots to his feet and marches out of the kitchen. ‘Nice try,' he yells over his shoulder. ‘Frank's version is almost identical, only the roles were reversed.'

Shit, he doesn't believe me. Getting to my feet, I take a few breaths, holding onto the backrest of the chair for support because I'm not sure I can trust my legs to hold me up. I can hear Tom clattering around in the front room, the thud of the sideboard drawers – slam, slam, slam – his heavy footfall, and then a drone of voices – he's turned the TV back on.

Creeping back into the living room, I slide onto the seat next to him as he stares at the screen, face ablaze, lips a downward curved line.

‘Tom.' I go to touch his arm but he tuts and shakes me off. ‘I'm not leaving until we've discussed this,' I say smoothly, sounding braver than I feel. ‘Everything that Frank told you is a lie.' He gives me a sharp look. ‘An exaggeration of the truth,' I correct. ‘Yes, he earwigged on my conversation with Liam at the café, but he doesn't know the facts – took everything at face value and added lots of spice, and as for me fancying him. Pfft, fat chance.'

Tom looks at the remote on the coffee table. He's going to turn up the volume to drown out my voice, something he does to his mother when he wants her to shut up, something he knows I detest as much as Wendy does.

‘Please, don't,' I say quietly, grabbing his hand mid-flow as he reaches for the remote. ‘Okay, I'll tell you everything. The whole truth.' I follow his eyes to my hand, yellow wedding band gleaming on his finger, and that's when I spot it – an A4 white envelope on the shelf of the coffee table. It wasn't there before. I'm a hundred per cent certain of it because the latest copy of Good Housekeeping was in its place. That's what all that opening and closing of drawers in the kitchen was about – he was looking for something. This.

I peer at it discretely. It looks official. Is he going to serve me with divorce papers? Is that why he didn't confront me about this for almost a week? Was he biding his time? Sorting out the paperwork? I don't know what to do. I can't breathe. I can't focus.

‘Ouch,' Tom groans, and I notice that my nails are digging into his flesh. I let go. ‘I was going to mute it,' Tom clarifies, rubbing the imprint of my half-moon fingernails on his skin. ‘Go on then,' Tom says coldly, throwing a glance at the 1950s style sunburst clock on the wall. ‘Say what you've got to say. It's getting late. I'm tired. I want to be in a fit state to do my eye examination in the morning.'

I fill my lungs with his cognacy breath and look at the glass in his hand. ‘I could do with some of that.'

Tom hands me the drink. ‘Knock yourself out.'

I take a gulp, ignoring the cough syrup taste as the liquid burns my mouth and slithers down my throat. ‘Thanks.'

Tom rubs his eyes with his fists tiredly, then rests his forearms on his thighs, legs wide apart and looks up at me. ‘Well?' He glances at the clock again. ‘I haven't got all night.'

I clear my throat. ‘I was unfaithful to you. I slept with Liam.'