3. Aura

CHAPTER 3

Aura

P RESENT DAY

The clouds were flying by Aura, her white hair streamed behind her like a silver banner. Despite the blood and bruises from the recent battle, she felt a profound joy and freedom she had never known before. Flying was everything she had ever dreamed it would be, a liberation beyond her wildest imaginings. Yet, even in this euphoric moment, a shadow lingered at the edge of her thoughts. The ache of her past reality—what might have been if she hadn't fallen ill as a child—gnawed at her. She longed for the ability to shift as Kellian did, a gift she had been denied.The dragon under her bristled.

"Your thoughts are so loud, do not waste your days wondering about what could have been, lightbringer." Ameline's voice skated down the back of Aura's mind like ice. She didn't reply to the young dragon, she cleared her mind, letting the wind wash away her thoughts high above the ground. She closed her eyes, took in a steading breath in, and one long breath out, then straightened her back, and pulled her arms off the hand holds on the leather rider's seat. She pushed them to her sides, and held them out, spreading them out like a bird, tipping her head back, she laughed, pure and true. She was flying. Finally.

" You were meant to be in the skies, Aura." Ameline says gently, as they land in the meadow outside of the main dragon cave entrance near the castle. Aura slipped down from Ameline's scaled back with a wince, pain shooting through her, she couldn't even pin where it was coming from, her whole body was just aching.

"Thank you for bringing me back. For—" Aura faltered, her gaze locking with the dragon's eyes. "Goddess above, flying was—" She shook her head, a radiant smile breaking through her pain, despite her tattered clothing, bloodied knuckles, and the deep exhaustion that left her magic drained.

Ameline, now a majestic and formidable presence, gazed down at Aura with a steady, contemplative look. The young dragon had grown impressively over the past few moons, her once-immature form now powerful and graceful. She was more than capable of carrying a rider, a fact that delighted Kyeria immensely. With her scaled wings spread wide and her eyes shimmering with an ancient wisdom, Ameline exuded an aura of both strength and gentle reassurance.

"Your guard is waiting for you." Ameline nodded towards the castle, a shadow of a man was walking towards them, the light obscuring him.

Nox .

"He's not my guard, he is just a guard." Aura shook her head. The Dragon simply turned and left walking towards the caves, a monk waiting at the entrance to remove the rider's seat from her back. Aura smiled after the dragon. Ameline was still such a mystery, but she was warming to the people here, and she was a fierce protector of Kyeria, so in Aura's book that was a great show of character. Nox was past the gates now, stomping into the meadow, his dark and gloomy form was completed by the angry scowl on his brow.

"Took you long enough." Aura rolled her eyes, crossed her arms and planted her feet firmly, refusing to move an inch towards him. After all, she had just banished a shadow beast to Hel—he could certainly come to her.

In two swift strides, he was upon her. His arms enveloped her with a fierce urgency, a desperate need that sent shivers through her battered frame. "Shut up," he growled, his lips crashing onto hers with a hunger that belied the gentleness with which he tried to touch her. His kiss was a conflagration of raw emotion, searing and intense yet tender, as if he feared that any roughness might further bruise her already aching body.

Aura let herself surrender to the kiss, her resistance melting away as she pressed into him. Hidden away in the sanctuary of the meadow, surrounded by the shielding embrace of trees, she allowed herself to be engulfed by his presence.

When he finally pulled back, his breath ragged, his gaze held a raw edge of desperation. "Do not," he said between breaths, his voice a rough whisper, "do that again." The words were both a plea and a command, his eyes pleading with her as though the very thought of losing her again might tear him apart.

Aura, still reeling from the intensity of their reunion, pushed weakly at his chest, a feeble attempt to create space. But his grip tightened, pulling her back to him, as if he could not bear to let her go. The moment hung between them, fraught with the unspoken fear of what might have been, and what still lay ahead.

"Everything hurts," she confessed, her usual veneer of strength slipping as it so often did around Nox. He had a rare gift for penetrating her defenses, seeing through her carefully constructed shields and masks to the core of who she was.

"I can fix that," he replied, his voice a rough whisper, like gravel shifting underfoot. Though she felt an impulse to roll her eyes at his predictability, she was instead warmed by his words. Her heart fluttered, and she managed only a dismissive "pfft" in response.

Nox studied her for a moment, his stormy sea-colored eyes softening with a tenderness she seldom saw. "Come on," he said gently, his voice imbued with a soothing calm as he reached out and took her hand in his. With a reassuring grip, he guided her back towards the palace, his presence a comforting anchor amidst her pain.

The walk back was slow, but Nox didn't comment. For once, their normal spitted words and sharp jabs were not to be found. Aura refused his arm to help her walk, she limped back on her own, her head held high, her shoulder squared. She was a damn princess after all.

"Should I call for someone?" Nox asked as they walked into the barracks nearest the gardens. She knew his own quarters were nearby, she knew the building well. She couldn't sneak him into her own these last few weeks, that would be ridiculous.

Aura fought her own mind for the hundredth time of the day, she hated asking for help. She hated needing it. Nox could see through her neutral expression, through her warring thoughts. His hand tapped her upper arm and gently directed her towards his own room.

The barracks were usually packed in tightly, the soldiers sharing a hall of dorms, larger suites for those with families or separate small apartments. But the Captain of the Guard had his own building, his own home to call his own. Separate from the rest of the barracks and closest to the castle itself. They walked around the back, down a gravel path with flowering bushes kissing each side. They walked in silence, he held out his arm for her on the stairs, which she begrudgingly used. But again, no sparring words came from his lips. It was almost disconcerting. Unnatural.

"Goddess above, stop being so nice to me." Aura finally broke the silence after Nox held the door open for her and she walked past him into his room. She had been here before of course, but in a more rushed way, and she never really looked around, let alone stayed long after. But in the early morning light the room was bright. Warmth covered the space. It was calm and lived in, pieces of Nox were throughout the room, small trinkets lined a shelf, worn and cracked spines of books stacked near his bedside. Dark olive curtains donned the windows. He walked over, pulling them closed and pointed at the bed.

"Sit," he grunted. She crossed her arms instead.

"Don't tell me what to do," she bit back.

"Take off your armor, princess." He turned on her, a smirk and a sickly sweet tone. Aura shivered at it and made a face, hating the name even when her body reacted to it.

"Off. now," he commanded. And while Aura hated being told what to do. Nox's tone made her move her sore arms nonetheless, pulling the armor from her shoulders. The metal on the side of her arms had decayed from the shadow tendril that had slashed out at her before they banished the beast, she pulled the armor from her skin with a hiss of pain. Nox placed a hand on her own, stopping her.

"Let me." He kneeled before her, making her heart stutter at the sight. Nox reached across her for a salve on his bedside table and pulled the lid off. His touch was so soft, she wasn't sure if she was imagining it entirely, but she felt the relief of the healing salve immediately. He gently applied it to the open skin before continuing to slowly peel the armor off. He dropped it to the floor with a clank and Aura followed it, watched it tumble and rest on the ground, all broken and cracked. She loved that armor. It was custom made and gifted to her from the King, for her last birthday. She let out a heavy sigh as Nox rolled up the side of her tattered shirt, she raised her arms with another wince slipping out despite trying to mask it. The linen shirt slipped over her skin, leaving her bare but a binding on her chest. Another wave of relief as Nox gently covered any wound or bruise with the salve.

She waited as he finished covering any and all bruised or broken skin with the healing salve. She wore only a binding over her chest that was normal for under armor. It pushed her breasts down rather thoroughly. Although she had not wrapped the binding tightly when she originally dressed, it felt so restricting now, pressing down on her chest and making her feel trapped. She pushed away Nox's arm and stood suddenly.

"Just—" She rushed out, putting distance between them, "stop."

The world was crashing down on her, wave after wave of harsh waves of panic hit her again and again. She couldnt breath, she couldn't speak, she felt like someone was sitting on her chest. Her eyes shifted around the room before spotting the small light from the washroom. She vaguely recognized that Nox had a look of confusion and maybe a twinge of hurt on him. That he had stepped closer, hands held out, how one might approach a frightened horse.

"Stop." She nearly shouted before turning on her feet and to the washroom, slamming the door behind her shut. She felt her body slide down the closed door, her body crumble onto the ground. What the fuck was happening. Why couldn't she breathe?

"Ror—" a soft and maybe even desperate voice floated to her through the haze. "Princess, are you alright?"

He was concerned for her, and it was fucking wrong. All of it was wrong. He shouldn't care. They didn't do that.

They trained, they fought and they let off steam together.

That was it, that was all.

No emotions.

But this last week everything had changed. Aura fought off her own feelings, Nox laying lifeless in her arms flashed in front of her eyes. And she let out a strangled sob. Felt her body curl into itself. Breathe Aura, you need to breathe.

Again, her nightmares resurfaced before her eyes. It was Nox, bloodied and barely breathing in her arms, Kyeria hurt and being pulled into the gap in the earth, into Hel itself. It was Kellian falling from the sky in dragon form, shot down. It was all impossible, it hadn't happened. But her nightmares felt so real, they haunted her, they made her heart sputter and stall. She was useless like this. Completely and utterly useless. How had she ended up like this, she was a princess for fucks sake. Get it together. She fought herself, tapped in her own mind. Silently screaming behind the bars of her own body.

"Aura," a strong familiar voice broke through her living nightmares.

Aura.

He had said her name.

The lock on the door creaked, being unlatched from the outside. Maybe even broken. Then the door pushed gently on her back. She pulled her body forward and out of the way, but stayed on the ground. Her arms were wrapped around herself, holding her knees to her chest. She was gasping for air, for any semblance of normalcy in the realm of breathing. But she could not get her heart to settle, it beat so fast she was sure it would just give out at any moment. What a pathetic way to die.

A gentle hand was on her cheek, then the same on the other. Nox's blue eyes stared at her blank expression. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and he brushed each one away as they came.

"Tell me something you see," ,e whispered to her, gently pressing his thumb under her chin.

"You," she gasped out through uneven breaths.

"Something you can hear?" he asked. She focused on him, his eyes became brighter to her, his features clearer. Maybe her tears were stopping. Pathetic stupid tears .

"Your annoying voice," she spat out, still breathing hard but no longer gasping.

"Something you can taste.,'' he whispered again. He was closer, the breath of his words brushed her lips. She opened her mouth to ask what the hel he was talking about. Her eyebrows were creased and glare in place. But instead of responding, she was cut off. His lips met hers, gentler than usual but still with force. He used the gasp of surprise to take control of the kiss. Goddess above, if Nox knew anything, it was how to kiss a woman.

She melted into him, into his touch, gently holding her face, one hand slipped back and tangled into her hair. Aura couldn't stop the reaction her body had to her. He kissed her like he needed her to breathe, like the world would slip away if he stopped. Maybe even, like she would. Her mind was whirling with empty bliss. It always did with Nox. His touch, his lips, were the only thing that could silence her mind.

A noise from outside brought her back to reality, and she shoved at his chest. His touch disappeared immediately, he pulled back and put space between them.

"What the fuck was that for?" she snapped at him. Nox again looked stunned. Seemingly they were both wearing their emotions today. An unsettling and abnormal event for the pair of them. Because, that was not just a kiss, not a heated before action to ripping each other's clothes off. That kiss was slow, and warm and comforting.

They did not do that. Aura peered up at him, a million thoughts racing in her mind, but this inability to make any of them come out of her mouth, so she was a statue, silent and wide eyed. Nox slammed down a blank expression, but his eyes betrayed him. As they always did. Aura could tell everything about how he was and what he was feeling by his eyes alone. They were clear now. Like the great lake in the Ash Mountains she loved so much, bright and clear.

"Sorry," he mumbled and pushed his hair back, sliding his fingers through the brown locks with a sigh. She let her head fall back against the wall she was leaning on.

"You called me by my name," Aura said, staring at the ceiling instead of the giant form of the man sitting on the washroom floor with her. He took up the whole walkway, it wasn't a small washroom either. She noticed the copper tub in the middle, the mirrors that adorned the wall across and the cabinets, she was sure were meticulously organized.

"Slipped out." His voice was casual, relaxed. But he never called her by her name. She could count the amount of times on one hand. It was rare. It was unsettling.

"Sorry," He mumbled again.

"Stop saying sorry," she groaned, lifting her head to meet his gaze. "Seriously, stop being so nice to me." Her eyes narrowed, reflecting the irritation she felt.

He faltered, his gaze dropping to the floor, and his eyelids squeezed shut as if to block out her piercing stare. "You were crying. I've never seen you cry," he finished gently.

If the crying wasn't embarrassing enough, the gentle manner he was handling her in was worse. Additionally she had cried in front of him. That was almost worse. He was just knocked out cold at the time. The memory of her vulnerability—the tears she shed while he was unconscious, the world crumbling around her—haunted her. It was a nightmare she relived in fragments: the raid, the battle, and Nox's blood staining the forest floor. They had gone to the border to handle the raiders, expecting to find trouble but not the devastation that awaited them. The shadow beast's magic had dissipated prematurely, leaving them exposed, a beacon to their enemies. Nox had been struck by a blade, a cruel wound that sliced through his side. Despite the injury, he fought on, while she, overwhelmed and desperate, faced off against two raiders. She had thought him fine—until he wasn't.

The journey back to the castle was a hazy blur of fear and panic. The soldiers dispatched the raiders, but Aura's focus was solely on Nox. When he collapsed, her world narrowed to the sight of his blood-soaked side, the deep gash that seemed to expose bone. Desperation drove her to tear away his armor, revealing the extent of his injury. Soldiers rushed to help, but she screamed at them to return to the border, her only concern was his survival. Kyeria and Kellian arrived as Esmeralda dashed down the stairs toward her. Everything was a chaotic whirl, her cries of distress mingling with the urgency of the moment. It felt as though she was drowning in the crushing weight of it all, the realization of her fear and helplessness surging over her like an unforgiving tide.

She knew she was crying, she felt like she couldn't breathe like it had just happened. Like the waves had finally pulled her under.

"I—" she started and stopped, pushed her hair out of her face, and took a deep breath. "I felt like I couldn't breathe," she explained quietly, as if not wanting to fully admit to the weakness. But Nox didn't make fun of her or have a witty comment. Instead his eyes turned stormy.

"I've had that too."

Aura's head snaps up, taking in the man across from her. "You have?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied simply. "That's why I asked you those things, distraction helps."

"Oh." Her thoughts were knotted, messy and unreadable, even to herself. The best she could muster was the one word.

They sat like that for a while. Silently on the floor of his washroom before Nox was the first to break. "You should clean up. I'll give you the space," he said, standing and leaving without a glance back towards her. Aura let her limbs feel heavy as she sat there for a few moments. But that was all the self pity she allowed herself.

Pulling her sore body up, she walked to the massive copper tub in the middle of the room. It must have been made larger for Nox's massive body but she was sure it would wholly swallow her. Though soaking in a giant bath sounded like just the thing to bury her demons.

There was a knock at the door, too gentle and soft to be Nox. When Aura padded over to the door she opened it to reveal a young servant girl. Her face looked fairly familiar, she worked in the castles.

"Hello your highness, I have hot water and some soaking salts for you here." She leaned down to hold up the large buckets. She saw two more by the front door behind the girl. Aura nodded to her and held open the door wider. The girl made quick work of carrying the large buckets of hot water and pouring them into the tub. Bath salts in a jar left on the ground next to the tub, then the girl disappeared, returning a moment later with fresh clothes and a towel for her. She curtsied and turned to leave.

"Excuse me—" Aura spoke up. "Please keep this to yourself."

The girl looked stricken, bewildered by the comment. "Of course, ma'am. I wouldn't dream of it. It's an honor to be of assistance." She bowed her head low and curtsied.

"What is your name?" Aura asked.

"Mae, your highness." She stayed in a low bow.

"Thank you, Mae." Aura nodded to the girl. Her hair was the darkest of blacks, her skin paler than the moon as if the sun had never touched her. Her eyes were dark brown as well. She was small, the same height as Aura, wearing a brown cotton dress and a white apron. She smiled sweetly to the princess and bowed her head again before turning to leave.

Once alone, Aura sank into the embrace of the massive tub, letting the day's exhaustion melt away with each ripple of the water. The steam curled around her like a comforting shroud as she allowed her mind to drift and her muscles to relax. The soothing warmth lulled her into a gentle slumber, her eyes drifting shut as she succumbed to a dream.

Suddenly, the door creaked open, and a light shake roused her from her dream. "Ror—Goddess, wake up, do you want to drown?" The insistent voice was unmistakably Nox's, somehow intruding upon her dreamscape. She blinked awake, her senses slowly returning. The comforting, earthy scents of home—trees, dirt, pine, and warmth—invaded her awareness. Her eyes shot open, and she became painfully aware of the water enveloping her.

"Princess?" The gruff voice came from her side. Turning her head, she saw Nox's face, etched with concern and frustration. Realization hit her like a cold splash: she had fallen asleep in the tub, a luxurious basin much larger than her own.

"Shit." She scrambled to rise, the lukewarm water cascading down her chest as she tried to regain her composure. The once frothy bubbles had long disappeared, leaving her naked and exposed. "Shit!" She yelped, hastily covering herself with her hands and drawing her legs to her chest. "Turn around!" she demanded, her voice a blend of embarrassment and urgency.

"It's not anything I haven't seen, Princess ." She could feel the sarcasm in Nox's voice. It was dripping. He was wanting to push her, to get a reaction. To play their game.

"Hand me a towel and get out," she seethed, not in the mood for games. He simply shrugged, did not avert his gaze, and handed her a towel. He took in her dripping wet body with hungry eyes.

"Fuck off." She groaned and stood, the water dripping down her every curve. She held his gaze as she wrapped the towel around herself and went to step out of the tub. A small issue since it was huge and stepping over, while keeping the towel in place would prove to be difficult. Nox smirked, seeing the issue and stood watching.

"You're just going to stand there and watch me struggle?" she snapped. "Why is your tub so godsdamned big?" She felt her anger rising again. Nox just had this way to make her want to scream.

The good and bad way.

Currently: the bad way.

"Happy to help, all you have to do is ask, Princess." The smirk was permanently etched in his stupid face. She hated him.

"Give me a hand then you giant idiot." She caved, rolling her eyes. He looked so damn proud of himself for winning this one. Held out a hand and she took it begrudgingly. Stepped over the high edge and tried to not slip once both feet were on the cold ground. But the water slopped over with her last step and she fell forward. Arms wrapped around her waist, setting her upright, her feet back under her. The hands stayed.

"Careful, your highness." His voice was low and deep, testing her, teasing her.

Not today.

"I think I need a healer," she announced, making him snap up straight, the smirk erased and the look of a royal guard replacing it. Dutiful and serious.

"I will call for one, immediately."

"I need to change first, then I'll see one in the castle." She pushed his hand off her and took steady steps towards the pile of neatly folded clothes Mae had brought her.

"Get out." She waved a hand. He listened this time. The comment about needing a healer making him scurry out. She felt the jab of pain in her side. Soaking in a tub that long with an open wound was not the best idea. But she had done it anyway, craving the warmth and comfort. She heard the front door open and close while she dressed in the washroom alone. When she was finally dressed and opened the door, she found Kyeria sitting on a bench instead of Nox or another healer.

"Cute place." Kyeria smirked.

"Don't say it." Aura groaned and walked over to her friend,

"Not a word." Kyeria shook her head in mock seriousness. "Nox, said you need a healer, figured this was best to keep your current location discreet."

"Does Kellian know I am here?" Aura groaned again.

"No."

"Thank the gods."

"But he'll figure it out soon enough." Kyeria sighed, and motioned at Aura's side. She tugged up the shirt to reveal the wound. Kyeria went to work, lifting her hands over the wounds, her healing magic glowed warm on Aura's skin. She was used to it of course, she had been mended and healed hundreds of times in her life. As a child she was constantly falling out of trees or playing with swords too big for her that would inevitably end up with her hurt.

"Well, it's not anything anyway," Aura argued half heartedly, earning another knowing look from Kyeria. Her copper hair was swept up behind her neck into a collection of twists. She was wearing a simple cotton white dress and a green corset. Aura wasn't exactly sure how much of the day had passed, maybe the whole thing.

"He'll be mad Aura," Kyeria said gently. "Nox is one of us, one of the inner circle. He is Kellian's most trusted ally. His second in command."

"I know. I know." Aura shook her head. She had really wrapped herself up in a mess. Getting tangled up with Nox, her own trainer, the high guard and captain, was a mistake. She knew this. She knew this the first time, and the second, and the last. But the minute he touched her, it didn't matter. Nothing did. Only his touch, she needed more and more of it.

"If you care for him—" Kyeria started, eyeing Aura. She rolled her eyes,

"I can't stand him." Aura waved a hand dismissing the comment. Her friend only smiled and looked like she did not believe Aura even in the slightest.

That was a problem for another day.

Today, she needed to sneak back into her own castle.