CHAPTER 24

"I just don't want you to think I'm not taking this seriously."

"Why would I think that?" Carina asked her as she watched Kieran put the very nice white roses she'd given her into a pitcher because Kieran didn't have a vase.

"Because I'm running late."

"Kieran?"

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up at Carina now. "God, you're really pretty."

Carina laughed and said, "Thank you?"

"No, like, really, really pretty. I've thought it all along. I just never said anything. Now, you're here, and we're kind of on a date, and I don't even know how to compliment a woman I'm on a date with, so I'm just word-vomiting all over you."

"You think I'm pretty?"

"Yes," Kieran said. "You wore your hair down tonight. You don't usually wear your hair down."

"I wear it up for work a lot."

"And you had it up at the party. That was a date."

"Not one I really wanted to be on, though," Carina replied.

Kieran swallowed and asked, "And you really want to be on this one with me, where I'm rambling a lot and not dressed yet?"

"If you weren't dressed yet , we'd probably be in the bedroom right about now."

Kieran's eyes went wide.

Carina laughed and said, "Kidding. Well, mostly kidding. But you are dressed. And I planned something relaxed, okay? You don't need to dress up."

"You're dressed up," Kieran pointed out.

"Not really. You just haven't seen me dress casually all that often." Carina stood back from the counter and added, "I'm wearing a sweater and black pants. That's it. Nothing fancy."

"I bought this shirt online at a site called nerdygirlshirts.com."

Carina laughed and said, "They could've at least called themselves nerdywomanshirts.com."

"I guess. But their target audience is high school and college students, so…"

Carina walked around the counter and leaned down to smell one of the roses in the pitcher as she placed a hand on Kieran's hip.

"Show me your office now," she said as she pulled back.

That touch was unlike any other Kieran had ever experienced. It was something that told her to calm down and relax, that everything was going to be okay, that Carina was there with her and didn't want to be with anyone else, and that she wanted to touch her . It also managed to turn Kieran on, and it was over the shirt and lasted for about six seconds. She wasn't sure how one brief touch could do all of those things at once, but as she took a step back because she thought she might fall, Kieran knew that it had.

"Okay. It's really not that interesting. It's just a bunch of computers and monitors and stuff."

"You're an engineer and a gamer. That makes sense to me."

Kieran walked around her and was pulled back a little when Carina took her hand and entwined their fingers. She looked down at their hands, joined like that, gave Carina a small, shy smile before she pulled her along with her, and that, somehow, felt even better than the hip touch.

"This is it," she said when they arrived at the second door after the bathroom and she pushed it open with her free hand. "The gaming computer is the massive thing on the floor by the desk. I haven't hooked it back up since your team was here and needed to take a look at it. I have a few systems in the living room, so I play my games out there sometimes. I figured I'd add a few upgrades before I put it back where it goes."

"You have, like, seven screens." Carina laughed. "I have one when I work."

"I have three plus the laptop screen for work, but I've had as many as six up at once before, when I worked in an office. It allows me to work, review my work in real-time easily, and keep my email and messages up at the same time."

"And your eyes aren't exhausted at the end of the day?"

Kieran let go of her hand to walk into the room and picked up a pair of yellow glasses.

"I wear these sometimes. They have that blue-light blocker thing in them, so my eyes don't get as tired and I don't get headaches."

"Oh, my God. You wear these?" Carina laughed and walked over to her. "Put them on for me."

"What? No way."

Carina quickly snatched them from her and slipped them over Kieran's ears.

"So cute," she said, laughing. "Is everything yellow in there now?"

"Yes," Kieran replied with an annoyed expression on her face.

"And you can work like that?"

"Yes. I'm used to it by now."

"You know they make these in clear, right? You don't have to see the world in all yellow, Kieran."

"I told you; I'm used to it. One time, though, I did wear them outside, and I thought the sky was some awful color and that it was about to storm. I forgot I had them on."

Carina laughed again and said, "I like you like this."

"Like what?" Kieran asked.

"Just you. I like that we don't have this case between us now and that I can take your hand, and it's okay," Carina replied. "It is okay, right?" she checked.

Kieran nodded and said, "You just like making fun of me and my computer glasses."

"That, too." Carina removed them and placed them back on the desk. "But I like looking into those green eyes of yours a lot more."

"Sometimes, they're brown, so I hope you like brown, too."

"They're brown sometimes?"

"Yeah. Green eyes can change colors more than the others, but it's to do with exposure to sunlight, mostly."

"You practically live in here, so I doubt they'll be brown all that often, but it just so happens that I love brown eyes, too."

"You do?" Kieran asked.

Carina nodded and said, "And I love nerdy girls."

Kieran laughed then and said, "You do not. You dated Tan ley."

"And we're not together anymore, so that should tell you something, Kelly ."

"What did you–"

"She calls you Kelly. You call her Tanley." Carina shrugged. "It's all ridiculous and reeks of adorable jealousy. On your part, at least."

"I'm not jealous of your ex-girlfriend," Kieran insisted.

"No? Not even a little bit? Because that night you met, it kind of seemed like it."

Kieran looked away for a second and said, "She's been with you in a way I haven't, and I think I'm just starting to realize that it bugged me."

"That Tinley and I were together?"

"For a year, yeah."

"It bothers me that you were with Diego. You were married to the man for a long time and together longer than that."

"It bothers you?"

Carina nodded and then added, "I liked it every time you corrected someone when they called you his wife or his last name was used. And it's petty, but it's the truth. He's planned a life with you. He's had a life with you. I only just met you."

Kieran smiled and said, "Tinley is annoying."

Carina laughed loudly and said, "She is. But she wasn't always that bad. She's going through some stuff right now, but it's not stuff I want to be a part of, so we've gone our separate ways."

"I'm going through some stuff…"

Carina cupped Kieran's cheek then and replied, "Yes, and this is stuff that I very much want to be a part of. I've wanted to be there for you with this Marin thing the whole time, but I couldn't until now."

"You still work for the place that's prosecuting her."

"Yes, but now I can just be on a date with you, and I can talk about the case without worrying that I'm going to do something stupid in court."

"Can we not talk about it tonight, though? First date and all that."

"Yes, we can talk about everything but that." Carina let go of Kieran's cheek then. "Will you tell me what you're comfortable with doing tonight?"

"You mean sex?" Kieran asked a little louder than she expected to, causing Carina to laugh.

"No, I mean when we're out in public. I do hope that sex comfortability question comes later, though."

"You mean with PDA." She nodded, understanding now.

"Yes."

"I like when you touch me," Kieran confessed.

"I like that, too, but we're alone in here."

"I don't care if people see me on a date with another woman, if that's what you're worried about, Carina. Hell, you're a gorgeous, successful woman. I have no problem with people seeing me with you. I'm wearing a T-shirt meant for a high schooler, though. Are you sure you–"

"Yes," Carina interrupted. "And how about you just tell me if anything is too much, and we go from there?"

"Okay. That sounds good. Where are we going, by the way?"

"To see the movie we didn't get to see the first time we were in a theater together," Carina replied. "It starts in thirty, so we should go."

◆◆◆

Carina held Kieran's hand in her lap for the drive. It was the first time her hand had been in another woman's lap, and Kieran kept glancing over at their joined hands as if it was crazy that she was in this car and on a date with this elegant woman who wore her hair down just for Kieran tonight.

"You're sweating." Carina let go of her hand, laughing a little, and wiped her own hand on her pants. "Nervous?"

"Oh, shit. Yeah. Sorry." Kieran went to quickly wipe her hand on her own pants and kept it there.

"No way. I want it back."

Carina took Kieran's hand back into her own, and it was placed in the spot it had only just left. Kieran now felt embarrassed for sweating that much, but she still smiled through her blush as Carina swiped a thumb over her hand repeatedly.

"Popcorn with extra butter?" Carina pumped the fake butter into the giant tub of popcorn.

"Yeah, I have a problem," Kieran replied as she grabbed them napkins from the holders at the concession stand.

"I don't mind a little extra butter, but you should know that while I do have some gym equipment at home, I've yet to use it, so if we do this a lot, I'll be putting on a lot of weight."

"I couldn't care less," Kieran said. "When I say you're beautiful, it's not just because you're all perfect with that blonde hair that looks really soft to me and those blue eyes that just, like, pierce through my soul. It's because you helped me with Marin when you shouldn't have, and you always make me feel… just… good. You make me feel good with who I am and safe with you."

"Are you sure you've never been on a date with a woman before?" Carina asked.

"Pretty sure, yes."

"Then, you've been wasted on Diego because that was an amazingly romantic thing to say that, I'm certain, he'd have no interest in hearing."

"I didn't feel that way about him to say it, anyway," Kieran replied.

During the movie, Carina held her hand anytime they weren't eating from their shared bucket of popcorn, and when the credits rolled, she stood and offered her hand to Kieran again. Then, Carina walked down the stairs first and held on to Kieran's hand with both of hers behind her back as if Kieran needed to be guided down the stairs. Or, maybe it wasn't that. Maybe it was that Carina didn't want to let go. That seemed more likely. Kieran tossed their trash on the way out and took Carina's hand in earnest as they left the theater and re-entered the way-too-brightly-lit lobby.

"Hungry? Want to grab dinner?" Carina asked in the parking lot.

"Not really. I ate all that popcorn."

"That's not dinner."

"If you're going to date me, you should know that popcorn is a food group to me, so yes, it's dinner."

"Well, I don't want to…" Carina stopped by her car and added. "I don't want the date to be over yet. We only saw a movie, so we didn't get to talk much."

"You can come to my place. We can talk there."

"I brought the wine you got me. It's in the car. I can bring it up, and we can drink that together before I go."

"I don't want you to drink it and drive, Carina."

"You have an option, then." Carina turned her around until Kieran's back was against the side of the car. "You can let me have one glass, wait a bit, and drive home, or…" She moved into Kieran's space. "I can share the bottle with you and stay over."

"Stay over?"

Carina nodded slowly and said, "Not for that. Just to stay."

"To sleep?"

"Yes, to sleep."

"In the same bed?"

"Yes," Carina said with a small laugh. "But not if it's too much."

"It's just that I have this mouth guard I wear because I grind my teeth, and I have a nose strip situation because I can snore sometimes. I don't know if you–"

"Bring it on, Kieran," Carina interrupted. "Bring it all on."

"Well, maybe not on the first date. But if you stay and I snore and wake you up, can you just, like, nudge me away, and I'll go out to the sofa or something?"

"Nope." Carina kissed her on the forehead. "Ready?"

"Nope to what, exactly?"

"Nope, you're not sleeping on your own sofa. Let's go."

"I don't want to wake you up," Kieran said as she climbed into the car.

"I'm a heavy sleeper. We'll be fine. Just make sure I wake up when my alarm goes off. I have it set three times to make sure I don't miss it, but at home, I even have that robot alarm thing that gets farther and farther away from the bed every time it goes off to force me to get up to turn it off because I'm not a morning person. Oh, and I sweat when I sleep. I sleep hot, you could say, I guess, so I usually sleep naked or just in my underwear, and I have to change the sheets pretty frequently."

"Really?"

Carina turned to her in the driver's seat and said, "None of us is perfect, Kieran."

"Can I see this robot alarm?"

"Yes, when you stay over at my place. It's loud, too. Annoying as hell, but it makes sure I wake up. I named it Carl."

"It has a name?" Kieran laughed. "Your robot alarm has a name?"

"So I can yell at it when he's being extra annoying."

"How did Tinley feel about it?"

Carina turned on the car and replied, "I didn't use it with her."

"Why not?"

"Because I…" She sat back against her seat. "I don't know that I was ever comfortable enough with her."

"Did you fart in front of her?"

"What?" Carina laughed.

"Well, that's a true sign of being comfortable with someone. Did you fart in front of her?"

"Oh, my God. We are not talking about farts on our first date."

"Carina?" Kieran asked seriously, and Carina's laughter began to fade.

"Yes?"

"You can fart in front of me if you want."

Carina's laughter started back up again, and she said, "And you can wear your cute little mouth guard and nose strip with me if you want."

The drive home was spent talking about things other than farts, and it was easy conversation. Still, when Carina pulled up and parked, Kieran grew nervous, so she carried the bottle of wine from the back seat, twisting her sweaty hands around it as they walked to her apartment door to try to cover up her clammy palms, which she shouldn't have because Carina hadn't minded them earlier.

"Hey," Carina spoke once they were inside the apartment, and Kieran closed and locked the door behind them.

"Yeah?" Kieran asked and set the wine bottle on the kitchen counter, which was within arm's reach of the front door.

"I had a really nice time tonight."

"You're leaving? I thought–"

Carina moved into her then and held her by the hips.

"No, but I wanted you to know." She stepped a little closer. "And if you're okay with it, I'd really like to kiss you now."

"Now? I thought we were going to talk or drink wine."

"We are," Carina replied and dragged a fingertip over Kieran's lips. "Tell me no, and I'll stop."

Kieran opened her mouth to say something first, but no words came out. Instead, she surprised herself and nodded.

"Yeah?"

Kieran nodded again. She was about to kiss a woman for the first time, and she couldn't remember if she'd had a breath mint or gum after the popcorn in the theater. Before she could process all that fully, though, Carina's lips were pressing to her own. It was light and sweet and brief. It was too brief. Carina was pulling away.

"What the hell was that?" Kieran asked.

"Sorry?"

"You said you were going to kiss me."

"I just did."

"No, you didn't. Really kiss me, Carina."

Carina lifted an eyebrow and said, "Well, if you insist."

Her hands moved to the sides of Kieran's neck, and Kieran was pushed back against the wall by the counter. Carina's lips were back on hers in seconds, but this time, they were firm and deliberate. Yes, Carina was very deliberately kissing her, and it was hard, then soft, then deep, then shallow. Her tongue moved into Kieran's mouth, and Kieran moaned as she let her arms move to Carina's waist to pull her in closer. When Kieran pressed them fully together, Carina grunted, and that was sexy.

"How was that?" she asked after she pulled out of the kiss only to move her lips to Kieran's ear and whisper it.

"Yeah," Kieran said softly.

Carina laughed and said, "It was, ‘Yeah?' "

"It was, yes."

Kieran knew exactly what she meant by that, but she couldn't articulate it out loud to Carina just yet. That kiss was a ‘Yeah,' and it was a ‘Yes,' and an ‘Again,' and ‘Never stop doing that to me,' all at once. It was the best kiss of her entire life, and she wasn't ready for it to be over.

"Will you do it again?" she requested.

Carina rested her forehead against Kieran's shoulder and nodded.