CHAPTER 11

C arina walked into the diner across from the courthouse, noting ten police officers and at least four detectives all sipping coffee and enjoying their lunch. Among them were a couple of public defenders whom she recognized and nodded at on her way to the counter. Sitting down, she put her bag on the empty seat next to her and exhaled deeply. She'd finally gotten out of the courthouse at the lunch break and was starving. She was in one trial, had two hearings for another, and after all that, she'd gone to handle the arraignment of Marin May, but the judge had broken for lunch without having gotten to Marin yet. Carina understood that even judges needed a vacation, and the holiday hadn't helped, but now, she needed to eat something fast and get back in there. Her afternoon meetings would all have to be pushed back, which meant she'd be in her office until six or seven, at least.

Her phone buzzed. It was a text from Tinley, who still hadn't applied at a gym and also hadn't given Carina three hundred dollars to barely cover the very expensive groceries she bought because Tinley was a healthy eater and healthy food was more expensive than the terrible stuff because the world just wasn't fair.

"Hi."

Carina looked up from the menu she'd just reviewed, despite not needing to because she had it memorized, and saw Kieran standing there.

"Oh, hey. What are you doing here?"

"I've been waiting around for her to be arraigned all morning. I saw you walk into the courtroom. I waved, but you didn't see me. You left before I could say anything. I didn't know you were here, though. I just came over for lunch."

"Where's Diego?"

"At the courthouse. He borrowed a conference room to take a client call. I told him I'd bring him something back."

"Well, if you want to eat with me, you can. I was just about to order."

"That would be great," Kieran replied and sat on the stool on the other side of Carina. "What's good here?"

"Not much," Carina said through her laughter. "The BLT isn't bad, but that's not exactly a difficult sandwich to make."

"Depends on the bacon, really. I like it crispy, but not crunchy, you know?"

"No, I don't think I do," Carina laughed again. "Aren't those synonyms?"

"I like it when it's not going to break my teeth to bite into it. How's that?" Kieran asked as she grabbed a menu held up by two napkin holders.

"Explains it perfectly," Carina said, smiling over at her. "Coffee?"

"Yes, please. How do you sit in courtrooms all day? It's incredibly boring. And I wasn't allowed to have my phone out, so I couldn't even play a game while I waited."

"Well, I rarely sit in the gallery all day. Really, never. I'm usually at one of the tables up front, and I'm working, so it's different. I imagine that I'd find myself pretty bored staring at a computer all day, with random numbers and letters all over the screen that I don't know what they mean."

"That's a very long way of saying computer code." Kieran laughed.

The waitress behind the counter walked up to them and gave Carina a nod.

"BLT on sourdough, with the fries, and coffee, please."

The waitress then looked over at Kieran expectantly.

"Same for me," Kieran said and closed the menu she hadn't even read.

The waitress nodded again and walked off.

"Taking a risk with that bacon, huh?"

"I guess so," Kieran replied.

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes, but I shouldn't be. Today is just a reading of the charges, and she'll put in her plea. They'll do the bail thing, and that'll be it, right? I go to a bail bonds place and get her out."

Carina cleared her throat and said, "I'm asking for no bail, Kieran."

Kieran turned her face to her and said, "You're what? Diego said you'd just probably ask for a ridiculously high amount."

"I'm asking for remand. She's been on the run for eight years and is clearly resourceful enough to move and change her name. When we found her, she was going by Zoey Maccala, but she's had other aliases as well."

"She ran because he beat her, so she had to get away. She didn't even know that he was dead until days later. And yeah, it was wrong of her not to turn herself in then, but she didn't want to be railroaded."

"She's not being railroaded; we have evidence," Carina said as she watched the waitress put their coffees down on the counter and leave the two of them again. "And if I recommend bail or even an ankle bracelet, and she gets away, you'll be out all that money."

"I don't care," Kieran replied. "It's just money. She's my sister."

"And I'm sorry that she's put you in this situation, but I still have to do my job. I've also got a boss who reviews the cases with us and said no bail. I happen to agree with him, though."

"I see," Kieran said as she grabbed her coffee cup and pulled it toward her. "Well, I don't think there's anything I can do to change your mind, so I'll just drink my coffee and take my food to-go."

"Kieran, come on… I'm sorry. I have to do my job. We've been able to have drinks and now coffee and lunch and not talk about the case."

"I was going to put a guest bed in my office for her," Kieran shared as she added a creamer to her coffee. "Not for Diego, but for her. I have an air mattress for now, but I was going to buy a twin or something for her. The sofa pulls out, but I didn't want her to have a crappy bed."

"I'm sorry," Carina repeated. "But you can understand where I'm coming from, at least, right? The evidence I have tells me that she killed her husband and ran. I can't let her run again. And I don't think a judge is going to let her, either. He'll go with my recommendation."

"I don't really know why I came over here when I saw you or why I let you take me for a drink and then drive me home. I shouldn't even want to be in the same room with you."

"I shouldn't be spending a lot of time with you , either. You might be a witness."

"Is this even allowed?"

"Us having lunch at the same diner? I don't know that they can stop us from doing that," Carina said.

"Diego won't like it."

"I suspect that's not as much about you and me having lunch or drinks as it is about him wanting you back and seeing you move further and further away."

"Because I'm having lunch with you ?" Kieran asked.

"Because you correct it when anyone calls you Miss or Mrs.Hart. That's got to sting a little."

"I know I need to change my name back, but it's such a hassle with all the paperwork. I thought I'd do it next year sometime, but then I figured maybe I'd just change it again if I got married a second time. So, not sure if I will or not, really."

"Do you want to change your name again?" Carina asked.

"I know I don't want it to be Hart forever. And if I meet someone and we get married, I'd probably just change it to their name, yeah. Why?"

"I suppose it might be different for lesbians. Some change their names, but it's more of a decision because it's two women and not a patriarchal thing. Most I know, they don't even bother. I know some hyphenate, but that's filling out paperwork, too."

"You wouldn't change your name?"

"No, I like my name." Carina smiled and sipped her coffee.

"Would you want her to change it?" Kieran asked.

"That would be up to her. I guess if she wants to, she can. And if she really feels strongly about hyphenating, we could talk about that."

"What about kids? You wouldn't want them to have your last name or hers, I guess? Doesn't that complicate things?"

"I don't want kids," Carina replied.

"No?"

"Nope. Good where I am in my life with my choices, and not having kids works for me. I'd like to find a woman to marry one day, but if she wants a commitment but not a ceremony, that's fine with me, too. I don't need a wedding. I just want someone to be with me, you know?"

Kieran took a drink of her coffee and said, "This isn't how I saw myself starting over."

"The coffee?" Carina joked.

Kieran didn't laugh, but she did smile.

"We did the counseling thing, but I knew I still wanted to separate. Diego and I had always been on the no-kids bus, and then one day, he started to press me for them."

"He changed his mind?"

"I don't even think it was that. He just wanted to make partner, and all the partners there have kids who are taken care of by their spouses or their nannies. I think he just wanted to have the pictures on his desk and the stories to tell about them winning games or doing well in school to keep up with everyone. It's the same reason he's building a game room in the basement and thinking about adding a gym. He doesn't want to be a parent. He just wants the leg up at work."

"I've never understood that. My boss, along with just about everyone else high up here, have kids, and I've never thought about having one of my own just to fit in with the parents."

"That was the end for me," Kieran shared. "He can find some other woman to con into taking care of his kids when he won't be around to help. I thought I'd get a new job and move to a new town. I have a nice apartment, but I'd buy a house later, and maybe I'd join a dating app or something. I haven't been on a first date since Diego."

"Not one since you separated?"

Kieran shook her head and replied, "Diego's the only person I've ever been with. You have to understand that I'm really a big nerd." She laughed. "I don't get out much, and in college, all I wanted to do was code and play video games. Diego seemed to like that about me when all the other guys around wanted nothing to do with me in a romantic sense because they wanted me to be a friend they could play games with. I was really good at that, but otherwise, I was shy and awkward, and my acne wasn't fully dealt with yet." Kieran laughed again. "But Diego didn't care, and he even liked me for it. When he went to law school, we decided to break up and just keep in touch because we didn't want to do long-distance. He had some fun and dated a little. I didn't. Then, we got back together, and that was it. Now, I'm single after a million years and have no idea what to do about it, but I want someone, too. A wedding is whatever. I've had one of those. I want the person to wake up to."

Carina smiled softly at her and said, "I get it."

"I wasn't supposed to find out about a sister who maybe killed someone," Kieran added. "And now, I'm waiting on a probably terrible BLT with the woman who is prosecuting her because I'd rather be here with her than my ex-husband, who still thinks he has a chance."

Carina laughed and asked, "Have you told him officially that he doesn't?"

"Yes, a thousand times." Kieran laughed. "Why do you think I'm now correcting people when they call me Miss Hart in front of him? I'm not trying to be a jerk to him. I just need him to get it."

"Maybe you're just impossible to get over," Carina suggested and felt a flush creep up her cheeks, so she turned away.

"I highly doubt that. I'm still that same nerdy engineer he met when we were eighteen. I just finally got my acne under control."

"I don't think any of us is the same person we were at eighteen."

"So, you're one of those people who believe people can change?"

"Aren't you?" Carina asked.

"I guess I never gave it much thought."

"Well, I'm not the same eighteen-year-old girl who was scared and in the closet, so she dated a boy she wasn't attracted to at all just to avoid having to tell people that she was gay. I'm sure I've changed in other ways. too."

"What other ways?"

"Well, I hate ramen now."

Kieran laughed and asked, "Beef or chicken?"

"I bought whatever they had because it was cheap, so now I can't stand any of it. I had ramen for lunch, dinner, and the occasional breakfast for years when I didn't make it to the dining halls when they were open."

"So, if they served ramen here, you wouldn't want, like, a large bowl of it?" Kieran teased.

"Don't even joke," Carina said.

"Mine is Pop-Tarts. Specifically, the strawberry ones."

"Can't eat them anymore?"

"Nope. They were my snack and sometimes, meal of choice when I gamed. All through undergrad. I went through boxes of them a week. I changed things up in grad school and got really into Cheetos. The puffy ones, not the crunchy ones."

"Healthy," Carina joked, laughing.

"I used to go through a big, family-size bag every three days. Definitely not healthy. Also, it's really hard to play with Cheetos on your hands, so that made things complicated, and I switched snacks again."

"To what?"

"Popcorn. Not buttered, though. Now, I douse it in butter except when I play, or I wash my hands first."

"Don't want a dirty controller, I suppose."

"Not just that. It hurts your game."

"Oh, of course," Carina mocked playfully.

"Do you not have hobbies?"

"I'm a lawyer, so no."

"Diego golfs."

"Diego golfs with the partners, right? Not a hobby. Just more schmoozing, so it's work."

"I guess that's right," Kieran replied as their plates were dropped in front of them. "But you really don't do anything other than work?"

"I go to that bar and drink a glass of wine sometimes, and I read the paper and do the crossword every Sunday. That's about it."

"I used to do the Sunday crossword when I lived with Diego. He got the paper on Sunday, and I'd take that while he read whatever. I don't get the paper anymore, but I have an app."

"I prefer the old-school method, and I'm hardcore about it," Carina said. "I use a pen."

Kieran laughed, and Carina watched the woman open the ketchup bottle and add some to her plate. She knew she shouldn't be spending this kind of time with a likely witness in her murder trial, but she liked Kieran, and as long as they didn't talk too much about the case, maybe they could keep doing things like this.