Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

GAWAIN

Tristan carried a sleeping Arthur out of the cave and into the somehow even more unsettling boneyard. The poor girl had been through quite the ordeal tonight. She’d pretty much collapsed from exhaustion halfway through the cave.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy, as the selfish part of me wished I could be the one cradling her against my chest. Purely for her comfort and protection, of course.

As we picked our way through the scattered skeletal remains, I found myself marveling at the sheer variety of creatures that had met their grim end in this charming little spot. There were the expected human skulls and femurs, sure. But I also spied the unmistakable antlers of a primordial stag, the massive vertebrae of what must have been quite the impressive serpent, and unless my eyes deceived me, the withered husk of a dragon wing. Delightful.

I glanced over at Merlin, who was trailing behind us with a glare that was even more broody than usual. I sidled up to him, keeping my voice low so as not to wake our slumbering royal beauty.

"So, you and the wicked witch, huh?" I waggled my eyebrows suggestively. "I can't say I'm surprised honestly. She used to be quite the catch before she turned her back on all that was good and decent.”

Merlin shot me a withering glare, his blue eyes flashing with irritation. "Now is hardly the time, Gawain."

"Oh, I disagree. I think now is the perfect time. We're traipsing through a haunted forest, our fearless leader is comfortably unconscious, and you've just been revealed as the dark mistress's former lover. I think it’s the perfect time to discuss it.”

"It was a mistake," he bit out. "A youthful indiscretion that I deeply regret. Mordred wasn't always like this. There was a time when she was different, when I thought..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter. That was a long time ago, and she's clearly chosen her path. As have I."

I studied him for a moment, taking in the tension in his shoulders, the shadows in his eyes. "You loved her, didn't you?" I asked quietly.

Merlin flinched. "I-I thought I could have, if given the chance," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But what we had, it wasn't real. It never felt like it does with Arthur."

I clapped a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Matters of the heart are rarely simple, my friend.”

Merlin turned to me. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I should have been honest with Arthur from the beginning. She deserved to know the truth about her, about my past with Mordred. She’ll hate me now."

I sighed, running a hand over my hair. "Look, you made a mistake. Several, actually. But beating yourself up about it isn't going to change anything. What matters now is that you're here, fighting by her side. Let the anger simmer for a while before you doom yourself."

Merlin nodded as he glanced over at Arthur's sleeping form. "I’ll never hurt her again."

"Good, good. Because if you do, you'll have me to answer to. And trust me, I don’t need a fancy sword to make you feel a lot of fucking pain." Wiggling my fingers in front of his face, I allowed the tips to frost over in shards of ice that could easily shred flesh.

Merlin rolled his eyes, but I caught the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Duly noted."

We trudged through the gloomy forest for what felt like hours; the shadows grew longer and more ominous with each passing step. The horses were a welcome sight when we finally reached them, their warm breath and soft whickers relaxing me.

Tristan gently settled Arthur onto a bed of soft moss, brushing a strand of hair from her face with a tenderness that made something clench in my chest. Lance set about making a small fire with the wave of his hand, the flickering light casting eerie shadows on the twisted trunks surrounding our makeshift camp.

I plopped down on a fallen log, my aching muscles protesting the hard seat. "Well, that was a barrel of fucking laughs, wasn't it, lads? Can't wait to see what other delightful surprises this quest has in store for us. Camelot was getting a bit boring."

Galahad shot me an exasperated look as he tended to the horses. "Your boundless optimism is truly inspiring sometimes."

"It's a gift, truly.”

I couldn't help but let my gaze drift back to Arthur's sleeping form. She looked so small, so vulnerable like this, curled up on the moss with Tristan's cloak draped over her.

Mordred's revelations, both about her true bloodline and Merlin's secretive past, had clearly struck a heavy blow. I could only imagine the turmoil swirling inside her, the foundations of everything she thought she knew crumbling beneath her feet.

My chest tightened as I recalled the haunted look in her eyes as we trudged back through the cave, Excalibur clutched in a white-knuckled grip. I wanted nothing more than to gather her into my arms, smooth the furrow from her brow, and whisper reassurances into her hair.

Percival settled down beside me, his large form making the log creak. He followed my gaze to Arthur, a knowing look in his dark eyes. He was feeling guilty still, for the way his shadows had attacked her while his nightmares held him captive. She might have forgiven him, but Percy would never forgive himself. He might be a cold, cynical bastard at the best of times, but he wasn’t cruel.

Merlin rose from his spot by the fire, his gaze fixed on Arthur's too. There was a determination in his step as he started to make his way over to her, no doubt intending to settle down beside her like a faithful hound.

Oh, for the love of...

I pushed myself up from the log, ignoring the creak of protest from my tired muscles, and intercepted Merlin before he could reach his destination. I placed a hand on his chest, halting his progress.

"And just where do you think you're going?"

Merlin frowned, his eyes still locked on Arthur. "I should be with her. In case she wakes up."

"Merlin, my dear deluded friend, do you really think that's wise? The girl just found out you've been keeping rather significant secrets from her. I hardly think she's going to be thrilled to wake up and find you hovering over her like a mother hen."

Merlin's jaw clenched. “And I suppose you’re offering to stand in for me then?”

“Of course I am. Besides, I’m much larger than you, puny man. She needs the warmth for—well, you know— warmth .” I smiled, all teeth.

Merlin wasn’t that puny, but I liked poking at the sorcerer. He was much too serious sometimes. Besides, everyone was puny next to me and Galahad.

He cursed under his breath, running a hand down his face as he shrugged off my hand and turned back to the fire. I watched him go, feeling a twinge of sympathy despite myself. For all his mistakes, I knew Merlin cared deeply for Arthur.

I did too. Somehow, it happened, and I hadn’t been prepared.

Quietly, so as not to wake her, I settled down on the moss a respectful distance away. Close enough to watch over her, but far enough to give her the space she needed.