Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

Ten years ago

“What the hell?” I handed my brother a red Solo cup. “Do you not like my girlfriend or something?”

“What are you talking about?”

I thumbed over my shoulder. “Teagan just left. She seemed upset. I saw you guys together while I was stuck talking to Coach. It looked like you were arguing.”

It was the BU end-of-the-hockey-season barbeque, and I’d invited both Austin and Teagan. She had to be at the hospital later, but she’d said she could hang out for an hour or two before her shift started. Yet she’d disappeared twenty minutes in, after my brother got done talking to her.

He drank his beer. “We weren’t arguing.”

“Then what were you talking about?”

“What were we talking about?”

I looked around. “Is there an echo in here? Yeah. What was the topic of your conversation?”

Austin looked away and shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Well, your mouths were moving, so I’m pretty sure there were some words spoken.”

My brother shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess we were talking about school.”

“What about it?”

“I don’t remember. And why am I getting the third degree?” My brother raised his arms in the air. “You’re just in a bad mood because you lost your last game this morning.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Try to make this about me. We had a great season. It was just an off game with a lot of guys out hurt at the end of the year. I shook it off. I was actually in a good mood—thought it would be nice to get to hang with my brother, who seems to have avoided me the last six weeks. Which is funny, because six weeks also happens to be the amount of time I’ve been seeing my new girlfriend—you know, the one I just saw him yelling at but he’s trying to pretend never happened.”

Austin looked back and forth between my eyes. “It was nothing, okay?”

“Then why the hell can’t you tell me what nothing was?”

Austin rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know. I guess we also were talking about politics.”

“Politics?”

“Yeah, I’m for universal healthcare, and she’s against it. It lowers the salaries for doctors.”

I searched his face. “Seriously? Why wouldn’t you just say that then?”

“I don’t know. It slipped my mind.”

“It slipped your mind?”

“Yeah. Can you please stop repeating everything I say?”

I searched Austin’s face. Something was weird, but maybe he was just grumpy in general lately and the problem wasn’t with Teagan. “Is something else going on, bro? You seem off.”

“I’m fine. Just a lot of pressure. The dual architecture and architectural engineering program is a lot to handle, especially at the end of the year with finals coming up and projects due.”

I nodded. “Alright. Sorry. It’s beautiful out, the food is free, and the beer is cold. Let’s just have a good time.”

Austin smiled, but I still felt something odd between us. Nevertheless, we managed to move past it and enjoy the afternoon. Later that night, I went home, and Teagan came over after her shift ended. She liked to shower right away, so she hopped in mine since she’d come directly here. We talked through the open door.

“How was the barbeque?” she asked.

“Good. My brother managed to lighten up. Sorry if he’s been a dick to you lately. He said he’s just stressed.”

“Did he…say about what?”

“Classes.”

Teagan paused. “Oh…okay.”

Again, that weird feeling was back—like something was going on between the two of them. But I knew my brother would never do that to me. That wasn’t a question in my mind. Still…something was there.

I stood in the doorway, listening to the shower water hit the tub. “So…uh, what were you and Austin talking about before you left? It looked like things were getting a little heated.”

“We, um, were talking about sports. You know how us native New Englanders get about our teams.”

“Sports?”

“Yeah... Go Pats.”

What the fuck? I left the bathroom and sat down on my bed. I’d chalked a lot of odd moments up to my imagination, but I wasn’t imagining that these two were full of shit. When Teagan came out of the bathroom, she had a towel wrapped around her. Normally that would be enough to make me forget everything, but not the way I was feeling.

She tilted her head and smiled. “Should I get dressed?”

“Yeah, you should.”

Her face fell. “Oh.”

I said nothing while she gathered her clothes and went back into the bathroom to change. When she came out I stood. “Are you fucking my brother?”

“What? No!”

I looked her square in the eyes. “Then what the hell is going on, Teagan? Because you two were arguing about something. And it wasn’t sports or universal healthcare—like my brother said it was.”

She closed her eyes. “We’re not sleeping together, and we never have. But you need to talk to him about what’s going on.”

“What do you mean, what’s going on? Are you saying you know something I don’t?”

She stared at me.

I moved closer. “Teagan, talk to me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

She took a deep breath. “Think about it. What’s the one thing I wouldn’t be able to talk to you about?”

“I don’t know. Stuff from work? Medical stuff?”

Teagan just kept staring at me.

I closed my eyes. Fuck. I was such an idiot. The first time they met, she’d thought he looked familiar and later asked if he’d been in the hospital. He’d been a dick to her ever since. The realization kicked me in the stomach. I opened my eyes.

“Is he okay?”

“Talk to your brother, Max.”

• • •

“What the hell?” My brother rubbed his eyes. “Are you drunk? It’s two in the morning.”

I brushed by him and entered his apartment.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

He shook his head. “Not this crap again.”

“I’m not screwing around, Austin. I know something is going on with you, and Teagan won’t tell me, which means it has something to do with your health.” I folded my arms across my chest. “I’m not leaving until I get the truth. So you might as well get it over with and start talking.”

My brother’s face changed to something resigned. “Take a seat.”

He walked over to the cabinet and took out a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses. Filling them both, he held his up to me before sucking it back. I followed his lead. Austin poured a second, but only filled his glass this time.

“I had back pain for a while. I figured I’d pulled something. But it didn’t get better. Then I started to have trouble running. I’d get winded in half a block when I used to be able to run ten miles without breaking a sweat. One night, I was getting a bottle of water from the fridge, and the next thing I knew I was waking up on the floor. I’d passed out. So I went to the ER.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“You were away for a hockey game. That’s the night I met Teagan. I didn’t remember her at first. She hadn’t said much, just shadowed the doctor as he went from patient to patient. It wasn’t until I saw her in scrubs that I remembered. I guess seeing her in context jogged my memory.”

“Okay…but what happened at the hospital?”

“They ran some tests, took X-rays, and did an ultrasound. When they came back, the doctor told me I had an abdominal aortic aneurysm.”

My eyes widened. “Like Dad?”

Austin nodded. He lifted the shot glass from the table and knocked the second one back.

I dragged a hand through my hair. “What can they do for it?”

“They can take it out surgically. But there’s always the risk of it rupturing during the procedure.”

Which was exactly what had happened to our father, and he’d died on the table. This time, I poured the shots. After we each drank another, I shook my head.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you’re going to tell me I’m young and healthy, so my chances are better than Dad’s were, so I should just have the surgery to reduce the risk of it rupturing itself.”

“Is that what the doctor recommends?”

Austin nodded. “He said if I don’t get it taken care of soon, walking will probably become difficult. I’m already winded just going from my car to class. I feel like an eighty-year-old man.”

“Well, it doesn’t sound like you have much choice then. If you’re not living life the way you want, you’re dying anyway.”

“I’m fucking scared, Max.”

“Of course you’re scared. But you gotta talk about it if you’re going to get past that. If you don’t deal with it, you’re just giving your fears more power. You can’t let shit fester.”

My brother frowned. “I don’t want to fucking die.”

“You’re not going to die. Have you gotten a second opinion yet?”

He shook his head.

“Alright. That’s where we start. Does Mom know?”

“No. And you’re not telling her either. She’s barely over losing Dad.”

“So, what? You just plan on having the surgery and not telling anyone? In that case, you’ll definitely die, even if the surgery is a success. Because Tate will kill you.”

Austin smiled sadly. “Not yet, okay? I don’t want anyone else to know—at least until I figure out what I’m doing.”

“But you’ll get a second opinion and let me go with you?”

Austin nodded. “Fine. But promise me you aren’t going to say anything.”

“I’ll do you one better. I won’t say anything, and I promise I’m not going to let you die.”