Chapter 14

Whiskee

"I'll takeyou back to Mahogany's place, but I don't like your brother knowing where you are. I'd prefer to get you an apartment," Beethoven said.

He'd pulled into the small set of shops just up the street from what no longer felt like my home.

"I um…" Looking out of the window, I rolled my tongue over my teeth. I didn't talk about what happened to Mama to anyone other than my old therapist and Mahogany. "I've never lived alone, Beethoven."

"By choice or by force?"

His question made me smile. "Believe it or not, my family and I used to have very healthy relationships. Even me and Carlos. He was my first best friend." My smile wavered. "By choice. I… have a trauma that I've kind of worked through, but one of the effects of it is a lack of a desire to be alone at night."

Beethoven surprised me by taking my hand into his. "You don't have to talk to me about it, but it might be good for me to know. I never want to do anything to trigger you, Whiskee."

Looking into those golden-brown eyes hypnotized me like every other time. But this time, there was something else inside his eyes. Something that made me want to lower my walls so he could see me too… just a little.

"Seven years ago, while Daddy and Carlos were out handling business, we were robbed. Mama and I were there alone. It happened in the middle of the night while we were asleep, so we had no time to prepare or try to defend ourselves. They grabbed us out of bed and carried us to Daddy's office, where his safe was. It was like they knew it was there and had been sent by someone specifically for what was inside."

Releasing a shaky breath, I looked out of the window. It was easier to detach from the memory that way. "They tied us up by our wrists and ankles and laid us on our bellies. When they were done cleaning out the safe, they took all of our jewelry. Three of them left, but the fourth stayed behind." Blinking back my tears, I stared down at my hands. "He um… put the gun to the back of my mother's head. As she looked into my eyes with tears streaming from hers, she told me she loved me. I begged him not to shoot her, but he did. Right in front of me. At that point, I wanted to die too."

Chuckling, I wiped away a disobedient tear. "I yelled for him to kill me too, but he didn't. He laughed and said watching her die would be punishment enough for me. So after that, it was hard for me to sleep. And when I could sleep, I didn't like to be in the house alone. I would have night terrors and see that night over and over again."

A smile lifted the corners of my mouth at the thought of, "Daddy would sit in a chair in my room while I slept for quite some time. And that's when I realized I needed help. I started therapy, which did help, but I don't think anyone ever gets over losing a parent—especially so violently. I wouldn't say that I can't live alone, it's just that I haven't tried. With everything going on right now, I don't think I'm in a good enough head space for that right now."

Beethoven opened the door and got out of the car. He made his way to the passenger side and opened the door. After unbuckling my seat belt, he pulled me into his arms and held me. I didn't realize just how much I needed to be embraced until I was enveloped by the warmth of his arms. Tears that I thought I was done shedding released. With a gentle rock, Beethoven held me until I was all cried out. His chin rested on the top of my head as he said, "Now that you have me, you'll never have to be alone again."

We had an expiration date. This wouldn't last forever. Still, I held him tighter, appreciating the gesture. When we pulled away, Beethoven wiped my tears and opened the door so I could get back inside.

"Thank you for sharing that with me."

"Thank you for being a safe space for me to do so."

"I'm going to drop you off and handle something real quick, then I'm going to pick you up for dinner. Your brother may have had a fucked-up way of going about it, but he is right. We do need to stop putting this off."

"I agree, and that's fine."

"Aight, it shouldn't take me more than a couple of hours, but I'll call you when I'm on my way to pick you up."

It was crazy how I didn't know too much about this man, but I was already dreading him leaving and looking forward to his presence again.