17. Aspen

Seventeen

Aspen

Aspen: I need to meet with you, ASAP. Please tell me you are available tonight. I’m about to explode.

Theo: SAME.

Penny: I’m scared, I can make time.

Aspen: Please and thank you!

Penny: How about the Tequila Cowboy (;

Aspen: *eye roll*

Theo: Tacos?

Penny: SAY LESS.

My mind had been nothing but chaos since spending the day with Boone at the farmers market. Normal functioning hadn’t been my friend, and I didn’t tell anyone about the date. I also refused to take this damn bracelet off. Being stuck in my head with all these unknown emotions hasn’t been fun. My only hope was to lay it all on the table and get another perspective from Penny and Theo.

Writing had been coming in spurts lately. Right now, I was feeling confident in the way things were flowing. I worked first by setting the scene, a small town out west. I planned to mirror it after Faircloud but give it its own quirks. I was spending a lot of time on Pinterest, creating the mood and finding visions that matched mine. Creating a mood board has been a true therapeutic process. This was the most I’ve done towards writing a novel, and I was on cloud nine. I knew, with time, ideas would keep flowing and it’d get easier if I reached deep and found the confidence. When I thought about my story, I was consumed by images of Boone. My MMC mirrored him nearly identically. A Zach Bryan love song, and he was the last great American cowboy.

I pulled up to the restaurant where I was meeting Penny and Theo. I needed this last-minute girl time because I hadn’t had a conscious thought outside of Boone Cassidy in days. Our nighttime chats hadn’t stopped, and we were definitely more touchy-feely than ever before. I found myself sneaking small touches, whether that be my hand on his knee, tapping him when he made me laugh, or falling into the crook of his arm on the swing. I knew he did it too, sitting closer to me or brushing by me when he helped clean up at the stand. I couldn’t help feeling electrified when he got closer.

Penny and Theo were already there at a booth in the far back corner, tucked away just how I liked it. I made my way back and plopped down next to Penny.

“You two aren’t ready for this,” I said, sighing and placing my purse on the window ledge.

“Well, hello to you, too,” Theo said.

“Spill it now. Your text sounded urgent,” Penny urged.

“I think I’m falling for Boone Fucking Cassidy,” I confessed, finally clearing out my head. Before I let them ask me questions or comment, I needed to provide a little context. “These past few weeks have been a lot of self-discovery and learning to accept myself. I love books. I love reading romance, as both of you already know. I want to be a romance author.” I continued, “I never felt like I had the experience to write about love, and well, Boone and I made a deal. He offered to take me on three dates to give me the inspiration to start. I thought I could do it and we could stay friends, but I seemed to have caught the bug.”

“Hi, ladies!” Carmen, our waitress, approached the table. I quickly shut my mouth, not wanting anyone else to overhear our conversation. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“A margarita for me, please!” Penny said, holding her finger in the air.

“Make that two, extra salt and extra tequila,” I said, giving a weary smile.

“I’ll take a coke with lemon, please,” Theo said. Carmen wrote down all our orders and departed to the bar.

Theo was the first to speak. Penny was completely silent, and I couldn’t read anything from her facial expressions. “Oh wow, okay. What changed for you?”

“Yesterday was our second ‘date.’” I used air quotes around the last word. “We went to the farmers market, and it was honestly the best day I’ve had in a while. He even put together a picnic at the end of the date. The icing on the cake was when he bought me this bracelet.” I held out my wrist. Penny grabbed my hand immediately, inspecting every inch of the silver and turquoise stones.

“Shut up!” Penny squealed.

“I know!” I shouted back. “He bought me candles and flowers, too. I don’t know what to think. Does he have feelings for me, or is he just laying it on thick to genuinely help me out?”

“Couldn’t it be both?” Theo asked. Always rational and thinking things through.

“I mean, I guess? I don’t know how to feel about it. It’s Boone we’re talking about. I don’t think I could handle another rejection from him without it really damaging my ego.” I sighed, throwing my head back against the booth. My ego was fragile as it was and the fact I was able to still show my face around Boone after the Tequila Cowboy took balls I didn’t know I had.

“Another?” Theo asked.

Fuck, I never told her about the hat thing at the Tequila Cowboy. I was embarrassed enough that I shoved it into the farthest compartment in my mind. I shared the highlights of that night after she’d left, not wanting to get into detail. If I did, I think I’d probably spiral having to relieve the embarrassment again.

“He definitely has feelings for you, A. Whether he’ll end up breaking your heart, I don’t know, but no man buys a woman a bracelet like that because he wants to help her write a book,” Penny says.

“Or offers to take you on dates for experience just for shits and giggles. Like real, out in public kind of dates where everyone can see you two getting along,” Theo adds.

Either they were right or Boone was the most generous man to walk the planet. He pretty much placed his claim on me by taking me out in public for the date. He took himself off the market to the public eye. Regardless, if our rule was to tell people we were friends, those who didn’t ask would still make assumptions and spread the rumor.

“I don’t know what to do,” I groaned, covering my face with my hands.

“Tell him you need more dates. That the writing isn’t going well. Use it to your advantage, and if he says yes, I think you have your answer,” Penny said, taking my hands from my face and laying them on the table.

“Flirt with him, let yourself explore whatever it is you feel. Live a little, A, don’t let yourself stay content. Take the leap and allow yourself to fall.” Theo’s words hit a nerve. It showed me that the people in my life who cared most also saw that I tended to back away from risk. I’ve felt more like myself over the last weeks with Boone than I have my entire life. I was letting my guard down and allowing the Aspen I wanted to be free.

“If shit hits the fan, you will always have us,” Penny said, giving me a hug. Theo reached across the table and took my hand in hers. Showing she was there for me too. I loved these two women, and to have them as my friends made me the luckiest girl on the planet.

“I feel better,” I said, my shoulders getting less tense.

“I have an idea!” Penny squealed, clapping her hands together. “Why don’t we all go to the rodeo tomorrow night? You can ask Boone and his friends to come with. Like a triple date!”

“Woah woah woah!” Theo said, “I’m not going on a date with any of those boys.”

“Oh come on!” Penny huffed. “It could be fun.”

I took a moment to think, honestly it was a pretty decent idea. It gave me the opportunity to spend more time with Boone and I’d have my girls by my side. “Penny, you could spend more time with Mac.”

“Yes!” She shouted, pointing at Theo. “You need to do it, for me.”

“Fine!” Theo admitted, rolling her neck. “I’ll go. But, who will be my ‘date?’”

It had to be either Rhodes or Logan. Thinking back to the night of the bonfire, I knew who it had to be.

“Rhodes,” Penny and I said in unison.

Carmen came over and took our food orders, I went with my typical two tacos and rice. After Penny and Theo ordered, I turned my attention to the latter.

“You needed to debrief too, what’s going on?” I asked.

Theo tensed and I had a bad feeling about what she was about to say.

“I’m just going to rip the bandaid off. I, uh, I’m pregnant,” Theo said.

Holy. Shit. Goosebumps formed on my arms.

In my mind, I’d planned for death. I thought Theo was coming home because her mom, the only person she truly had left, was sick. A baby was much easier for me to digest.

“Okay. Good thing or bad thing?” Penny asked, trying to gauge how to react. It was a weird line when someone tells you they’re pregnant. I never knew how to feel.

“At first, a very bad thing. Mental breakdown bad thing,” Theo said. “But now that I’ve had time to process it, I feel good about it.” She reached down and placed a hand on her belly.

“How long have you known?” I asked. The times I’d been with Theo since she returned played back in my mind.

“Since the weekend I came back to Faircloud. Right now, I’m six weeks.” Theo smiled slightly while talking about the baby. I couldn’t help but smile too. She seemed happy.

“Do we know the father?” Penny was asking all the hard-hitting questions, which took a lot of the pressure off me.

“No,” Theo said. “It was a random guy I met while traveling in Italy. I don’t even know where he’s originally from. He doesn’t know about the baby, and I don’t plan on ever trying to find him. I don’t need drama or rejection. I can do this by myself.” That was Theo in a nutshell. She didn’t need anyone else to save her or help her when things got tough.

“You’re not alone, Theo. You have us. I’m going to spoil this baby rotten. Auntie A can’t wait to meet them,” I said, tears beginning to prick my eyes. Theo was going to make a great mom. She was a badass bitch who was going to raise a badass kid.

Penny sniffled next to me. “Wow, I’m so happy for you.” She took the napkin and dabbed the inside of her eyes. Even Theo was getting emotional, her eyes turning a shade of light pink.

What did I miss? I thought about The Tequila Cowboy, the bonfire, and even tonight. Not once did she actually order alcohol. I knew we all got a shot at the bar, but she must’ve ditched it when we weren’t looking.

Carmen came with our food mid-cry. We probably looked like a train wreck. She didn’t bat an eye and acted like it was a normal night for her. I bet a lot of women cried over tacos and margaritas.

When she walked away, I continued the conversation. “When do you find out the gender? I know nothing about pregnancy, so I’m clueless.”

“What about an ultrasound? Did you go yet, can we see it?” Penny asked.

Theo laughed to herself; she knew what she was getting into by telling us. The questions wouldn’t stop. “I have my first ultrasound scheduled for next week. I won’t find out the gender until around 18-20 weeks, so I have a way to go.”

“Oh my, I hope it’s a little girl.” Penny clapped her hands in excitement. “We can play dress up and have tea parties. When she gets older, we can all go for manicures.”

Theo’s face lit up; I hadn’t seen her smile like that in a long time. This baby was going to be great for her. Through her style and personality, Theo may appear rough around the edges, but she loves with her whole heart. Once you brought down her walls, you were set with a true friend for life. This baby was chipping away at her tough exterior little by little. I couldn’t help thinking that her dad would be so proud.

We ate and daydreamed about the new addition to our friend group. We talked about names and nursery colors. Getting a group of girls together with margaritas was the fastest way to discuss things and get them figured out. I demanded a copy of the ultrasound so I could hang it on my fridge. Penny begged and begged to get to go with her, but Theo gently turned down the offer because she needed to do it by herself.

Leaving the restaurant, I felt amazing. I took what advice Theo and Penny gave me and decided I was going to run with it. I was going to let myself enjoy my time with Boone and not put so many restrictions on the friendship. If it all turned out bad in the end, I knew I had a soft place to fall with my best friends.