15. Boone

Fifteen

Boone

By mid-morning, Rhodes and Mac left, giving me time to prepare for my day off. The other ranch hands were taking over, which meant I had some time off, and I planned to use it with my mom. I hadn’t spent as much time with her as I would’ve liked to.

While in the bathroom getting ready, I heard my phone ringing in the living room. No one ever called me unless it was an emergency. I lightly jogged down the hall and reached for my phone before it stopped ringing, not taking a chance by checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” I said, probably sounding a little alarmed and out of breath to the person on the other end.

“Hey, big brother.” My sister, Ellie, said. It had been at least a month since anyone had heard from her. Even when she was in Faircloud, I worried about her every day.

“Ellie,” I sighed, smiling to myself, “it’s good to hear your voice.” The feeling of relief washed away faster than it came. Why was she calling me and not Mom? Was everything okay?

“Yours too.” She said, taking a breath. “I wanted to tell you I’m alive. I’m in Maine right now.” Maine was as far away as she could possibly get from Texas without leaving the country.

“At least I know you’re safe. It’s been a while, El. Mom is worried about you, and so is Dad. Hell, I’m always worried about you. Please tell me you’re okay.” I begged, wanting her to hear the desperation in my voice.

She let out a long sigh. “I know. I’m okay. I needed to get away from that town, Boone. After what happened, I can’t show my face around there.”

“When are you coming back?’ I asked, trying to remain hopeful. When she told my family and I she was leaving, I didn’t let the possibility of ‘forever’ be an option. She may say it now, but I knew she wanted to come home; she had to.

“I don’t know if I can. The scrutiny is too much for me right now. I’m embarrassed and sick over it. I needed to hear your voice.” Ellie was crying. I could hear it in her voice. Ellie took after our father. She was strong and took nothing from nobody. Shit would hit my sister and bounce off like she was made of rubber. Hearing Ellie crying, hearing the pain in her voice, she was internalizing everything and making it her fault.

“None of what that asshole did is your fault, you got that?” I said. I wasn’t going to let her take responsibility for his poor actions. “He’s the one who shouldn’t show his face in this town again. I’ll make his punk ass sorry he ever fucked with you.”

“I really needed to hear your voice. I can’t tell you when I’ll be able to come back because I honestly have no idea. Just know I love you, Boone.” She sounded defeated, a shell of my sister.

“I love you too, El. I’m here. The people who matter most are here.” I didn’t cry but I sure as hell felt like I was about to.

“Tell Mom I called, will you? I can’t face her right now over the phone. Texting is the only thing I can do.” Ellie replied.

“Of course. I’m here whenever you need to talk.” Ellie acknowledged and hung up the phone. My quick conversation with my sister didn’t change how I felt. I knew she may not be coming home right away, but she’s strong. Not many people knew what happened between them, just our immediate family and his. The town thinks Buck just cheated on Ellie, and that was the end of it; there was more to the story.

Hearing her voice should’ve eased my thoughts around the situation. Instead, it didn’t do shit. I wanted to talk to someone about it, and the first person to come to mind was Aspen. It wasn’t my story to tell, and sharing the details was not up to just me.

I put my go to playlist on to improve my mood as I got ready to head to the main house. Getting ready never took me long, so by the end of the second song, I was out the door.

I didn’t stop at the farm stand on my way to see my mom. I had a lot on my mind, and if I stopped in to see Aspen, she’d be able to tell, and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from spilling everything. However, it didn’t stop me from slowing down as I passed just to catch a glimpse of her.

Aspen was busy moving around the stand and picking up empty mugs and plates. She was a natural, laughing and smiling with the patrons while gliding around the floor like she was a figure skater on ice.

Continuing to the main house, I took the time to think about what I would tell my mom before having to actually face her. I had to be honest and tell her Ellie called me, I knew my mom was going to be hurt. They always had a close relationship, but I understood my sister; it would hurt too much. My mom would try and convince her to come home, and knowing Ellie, it probably would’ve worked, but it wasn’t what she needed right now.

When I got there and all internal dialogue subsided, I walked around back to where the flower beds and other gardens were. If I knew my mom, she was already outside getting to work on fixing the beds.

I should’ve really played the lottery. My mom was in position, crouched down in front of her flowers. I snuck up behind her and crouched down; she was startled.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, her hand flying to her chest. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to spend my day off with the most amazing mother in the world.” I quipped, reaching out towards a clump of weeds in the mulch.

Mom playfully rolled her eyes and pulled off her gloves. She sat down fully on the grass, the sweat dripping down her forehead. Following her move, I sat down in the grass and stretched my legs out in front of me.

“How’s my son this morning?” Mom asked, taking a sip of water.

“I’m good,” I responded, pausing while playing with a clover in the grass. There was no use in waiting to tell her about Ellie. I would just chicken out and avoid it the more I waited. “I, uh, heard from Ellie this morning.” Looking up, I saw my mom pale slightly; the redness that was on her cheeks faded. “She’s in Maine.”

The look on my mom’s face was exactly what I expected. She quickly changed her features, trying her best to put on a brave face. “I’m glad someone has heard from her more than just texts. How did she sound?”

“Not like herself,” I said, wanting to be honest.

“I figured.” My mom mumbled, getting back into a crouched position to start working again. I changed positions, too, holding the bin for her to throw weeds into. “I’m really worried about her, Boone. It isn’t like her to run like this and avoid her family.”

“It’s just going to take some time, ma. She’s hurting and we need just to let her have the space. She knows we’re here for her, and that’s what matters.” I believed what I said. Ellie knew that we all had her back. That would be enough to guide her back home.

“I know, but she’s my baby, and I worry. I worry about both of you finding your way and being happy.” My mom placed her dirty gloved hand on my forearm, giving me a small smile.

“I know, Ma.”

“Since we’re having a moment, I’m going to ask you something, and you better be honest.” This wasn’t going to be fun. “What’s going on with you and Aspen?”

“Me and Aspen?” I had to tread carefully, making sure not to say too much. I put the bucket down and began to pull weeds, trying to give my hands something to do.

“Don’t think I don’t see or hear about it around town. You two going out to lunch, picking her up from the Tequila Cowboy, meeting her at the stand at night just to name a few. Not to mention bringing her over for breakfast the other morning.” I was caught red-handed.

“I don’t know,” I replied. That’s the truth. “We’re friends, and I like spending time with her.”

I could tell my mom wanted to hear more; she read me like a book. I should’ve come clean and told her how I really felt. I wanted to tell my mom that Aspen made me happy, and I found myself wanting to spend more and more time with her. I wanted to talk about the dates and how I was helping her find inspiration to write, but I chickened out and chose to avoid all of it.

“Don’t play me to be a fool.” My mom said, “I can see it’s more than that for you. I don’t know how she feels. I’ve never witnessed you spend this kind of time with a female ‘friend.’” She got me, she really did. I felt trapped in a corner, backed up with no way out. I took a deep breath and let it all come out.

“She’s different. There’s no expectation, and it’s easy to be with her. I like the way she makes me feel.” I shrugged, tossing another tweed into the bucket. “I don’t know what’s happening between me and her, whether it’s just the excitement of someone new or if I’m catching feelings for the woman, but I’m taking it day by day. We’re friends. That is enough for me.”

“Just know, she’s welcome whenever. She’s sweet, and I approve as long as you’re happy.” She flashed me another smile. It felt good to get my mom’s approval, not that I had any doubt she wouldn’t. Hearing the reassurance from her made the uncertainty feel less scary.

By the time we were done, my stomach was growling for dinner. I decided to stay and spend some time with both my parents before heading home. I told Dad about Ellie, and it was no surprise when he didn’t have much to say. Emotions were not his thing; like Ellie, he internalized everything.

Ready to call it a night, I wandered back to my cabin a little after dark. I was both physically and mentally exhausted. When I got closer to my house, I saw Aspen in her normal spot on the swing. Catching me in the distance, Aspen waved me over. There was no way I was going to say no, I needed to see her.

“What’s up, cowboy?” Aspen asked, closing her book, which happened to be the same one as the other night. In her hand, she held the obligatory glass of red wine. She was a creature of habit, and I liked that.

“I like it when you call me that,” I said, sitting next to her on the swing. My arm naturally draped behind her.

“Oh yeah?” She remarked in a flirty tone. “Well, I like it when you call me Darling.” The power between us shifted, and I had an urge to pull her closer. When she spoke like that, I melted into every word. There was a soft lull to her voice when she dropped an octave. I wanted to kiss her soft lips and taste her on my tongue. Instead, I swallowed hard and brought the conversation back to friendly territory because right now, I felt like I was about to go into battle.

“How was your day?” I asked to change the moment. I needed to get away from this feeling and quickly.

Aspen’s eyes were glazed over before she blinked rapidly and replied, “The stand was busy, which I was happy to see. You should’ve been there! I was all over, cleaning, restocking, ringing people up. If it keeps up, I may need some reinforcements! How about you?” She said, smiling. I wanted to tell her I saw her working and how impressive she was, but I decided against it.

“My day was kind of draining. I’m not gonna lie,” I said, rubbing the palm of my hand on my knee.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked.

Fuck, I loved how gentle she was. She didn’t pry or demand answers, she gave me the space to share what and when I wanted. Is it always supposed to be this easy with someone?

After the afternoon with my mom and hearing her approve of Aspen, I knew I could trust her, and I really needed someone to share it all with. “I talked to Ellie today. She hasn’t called us since she left after the Buck thing. I was the first person to tell my mom, and it was hard.” Aspen didn’t say anything, she just nodded, and gave me the space to continue talking. “Most people don’t know what happened between her and Buck. It was nasty. I wanted to wring that fucker’s neck for how he treated Ellie and —” I stopped briefly to take a deep breath. “That poor excuse for a man cheated on her, not once, but has been for the last few years. It wasn’t until this last time he got caught. The girl he had been messing around with is pregnant with his baby.”

“Oh fuck,” Aspen said, her hand coming to cover her mouth. “Boone, I don’t even know what to say. That’s awful.”

“She left out of fear of what people were saying about her. She didn’t want anyone to find out the truth. She’s embarrassed and feels being here is a constant reminder,” I replied. “The thought of her running away from home, a place she loved, makes me want to kick his fucking teeth in.”

“I don’t blame her or you for feeling the way you do. I can’t even imagine what you all are going through. Boone, I’m so sorry.” Aspen put her hand on my thigh, rubbing soft circles with her thumb. The gesture was calming, reassuring me that she was here. With my free hand, I placed it on top of hers.

“It’s been eating at me for a while. We’ve been keeping it a secret like I said, no one knows. I can’t really talk about it to my parents because my mom gets upset, and my dad shuts down. I miss her, and I worry about her every day.” I felt a sting in my nose; there was no way I was about to cry in front of Aspen. She flipped her hand over and interlaced her fingers in mine, laying her head on my shoulder.

“You have me, Boone. I’m not going anywhere.” She whispered. The reassurance was all I needed. Knowing I had someone I could talk to lifted some weight off my shoulders, and I felt lighter. “You don’t need to navigate it alone.”

That last sentence broke me, the weight behind those words almost enough to free the tears I’d been holding back. I held my ground, calling them back to their cage.

“Thank you,” I whispered, placing a kiss on the top of her head. We sat there, hand in hand, while she rested her head on my shoulder. I rubbed small circles on the back of her hand with my thumb. Having her so close was comforting, and I never wanted it to end. I would sit here until she made the first move because I wasn’t going to leave this damn swing.

“Can I help in any way?” Aspen asked after some time had passed.

“Nah,” I said. “Letting me vent about it helped more than you think. Is it okay if we change the subject?”

“Okay, Cowboy. What’s next?” Aspen said, not moving from our cuddled position.

“Have you started writing at all?”

“Eh, I’ve plotted some stuff out but haven’t put any words on paper yet,” She replied.

“Do you have a storyline? Or maybe any details to share?”

“It’s a secret!” She said, turning her head so she was now looking at me. “Maybe when I have something written down, you can be the first to read it.”

That made me laugh; my head tilted back to lie on the back of the swing. “You want me to read your romance novel? I don’t know if I’ll be able to say anything helpful, but I’ll do it for you.”

“I mean, you’re helping me find inspiration, so it’s only fair,” Aspen replied. I guess she had a point, I was curious to know what the dates spark for her. “Speaking of inspiration, are you sure you still want to go to the Farmer’s Market? I completely understand if you need space.”

“I’m not canceling a date with you to mope. If anything, I need the distraction and I’d rather spend it with you than alone in my cabin.” I said, knowing damn well that a day with her is more of a priority. Being with Aspen was the perfect fix for whatever I was feeling right now. Being able to talk to her tonight has already improved my mood. It’s scary to think about how much your mood can be affected by just one person.

Aspen sat up, unlocking her fingers from mine. “If that’s the case, I better head to bed. 9 am sharp, remember.” She tapped my leg and stood from the swing. I rose too, now toe to toe with her. I pulled her in for a hug. She nestled into my chest, my chin laying perfectly on her head. “Thank you again,” I whispered, squeezing her tight.

“That’s what friends are for,” She replied before stepping away from our hug. I hated the sound of that. Being friends with Aspen was harder than I thought, but I’d take what I could get.